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RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 12:57:56 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Dude, in his first post Michael was on to something...if you are going to put up a picture at least make it somewhat flattering if at all possible. You are not a bad looking dude but those pics are somewhat fucking creepy...Whats up with the Sims? Unless you really want someone to think you live in an alternate universe I would nix that pic and pronto...

You are obviously a smart guy...maybe you will find someone who digs your shit, but I gotta say coming out and complaining doesn't exactly exude confidence or charisma and I would think even a Domme would find those characteristics to be of worth.

Whether this is right for you or not is something that only you can decide, but I think by putting yourself in the best light possible will greatly enhance your prospects...I am not saying to be disonest but I would think that there is more to you than what appears on CM.

So good luck, and I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for.

I would stick to the forums only post when you are feeling upbeat...The saying is true, you catch a lot more beeeyatches with honey...May God be with you or those creepy sims whatever gets you through the night.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/11/2007 1:04:22 PM >

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Post #: 41

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 12:59:40 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Dude, in his first post Michael was on to something...if you are going to put up a picture at least make it somewhat flattering if at all possible. You are not a bad looking dude but those pics are somewhat fucking creepy...Whats up with the Sims? Unless you really want someone to think you live in an alternate universe I would nix that pic and pronto...

You are obviously a smart guy...maybe you will find someone who digs your shit, but I gotta say coming out and complaining doesn't exactly exude confidence or charisma and I would think even a Domme would find those characteristics to be of worth.

Whether this is right for you or not is something that only you can decide, but I think by putting yourself in the best light possible will greatly enhance your prospects...I am not saying to be disonest but I would think that there is more to you than what appears on CM.

So good luck, and I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for.

I would stick to the forums only post when ypu are feeling upbeat...The saying is true, you catch a lot more beeeyatches with honey

This post leaves me completely lost and somewhat at a loss for words. Pictures of myself are somewhat creepy? Should I put pictures up of Fabio and say he's me?

< Message edited by littlesarbonn -- 4/11/2007 1:02:00 PM >

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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
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(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 42

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 12:59:59 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

LOL ok, not to hijack this or anything but.. this reminded me of last nights episode of Boston Legal.
Denny was hoping his positive energy would draw a famous model whom he had only met, into his orbit. All through the episode he kept trying to focus his thoughts on her, sure it would bring her to him.
At the end, someone famous did arrive. Phillis Diller.
LOL.. the look of horror on his face was priceless! And when she mentioned having met him up close and personal in a foxhole during WW2.. LOL I thought I would die laughing.
Life has it's joys. Look to the positive moments and not having this other stuff doesn't seem so bad.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: completenz
You can find all that you want and need as long as you remain open.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to completenz)

Post #: 43

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:07:19 PM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

For the record I don't think your pic looks creepy

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 44

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:13:57 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

The middle picture with the dark blue background, is creepy.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 45

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:24:51 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Fine. Removed all the pictures but the first one. Should probably just deactivate the account.

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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

Post #: 46

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:28:08 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

No, keep the picture by the fridge, and don't deactivate your account.
We like you here.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 47

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:32:58 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Actually, I think I worded that wrong. I meant deactivate the profile. I wasn't planning to leave the boards. I keep trying to reiterate (and I can tell it's not working because of some of the previous advice of stuff like "don't post when you're in a mood") but just because I can't find anyone doesn't mean the world is coming to an end. And it's not just here on collarme, which I get the impression that some people believe is the ONLY medium in which bdsm must exist for some of us, but in the whole bdsm lifestyle community itself. I'm a member of organizations that are highly connected to bdsm activity, and even with that, I find myself just not finding what I'm seeking. Again, not a depresso thing or something to get worked up about, but just one of those things that brought about my desire to write a thread about when does one know that the search really needs to be discontinued.

I read a lot of the "just stop looking and it will come" stuff from people that waited two years and then found that SUPER person. I've waited a decade, and I probably shouldn't have. I probably should have just found a nice girl who wanted to settle down, have littler sarbonns, and gave up on trying to find a brass ring that may or may not really exist.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

Post #: 48

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:43:28 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Wow do you sound upset and frustrated. Did you seriously take down pictures of yourself because one person said to? One person I doubt is in your "target audience" anyway. I can't really add anything new to what has already been said but if it counts for anything, I find you attractive and have always enjoyed your posts. Don't give up. What would be worse is if you decided on some nice girl, had some little sarbonns then down the road when you are well established with wife and kids to finally find the one.

I know it's no consolation if you've been searching for a decade...and maybe you'll search for another. But whether it's 10 days or 10 years, when you do find it, the wait will be worth it.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 49

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 1:55:33 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Finding someone is HARD if you are a man. I am sure there are any number of dominants on here who get more responses than I do but I am still happy on those days my inbox is red. I post on here WAY too much and trust me there is a LOT of dust on every one of the pillows in my harem. Finding that one woman is never easy but it is always worth it.

I am SOOOOO tired of hearing how hard it is for the poor men on here. Well guess what, it ain't so easy for the females either Domme or sub. There may be more males on here than females, but i know for a fact the quality of males is heavily weighted in asshole Doms and do me subs.

I think it is just like any other dating site. It's all just a crap shoot. You have to go in feeling like youa re going to be disappointed 90% of the time in order to not get disheartened. But it's worth it to me for the 10%. I haven't found the perfect sub for me yet, but i have made some nice friends in that 10% and that is much more important to me in the long run.

to the OP: sorry i didn't get to look at your other pics before you took them down, but i like the one that is left. It's attractive and you're in the kitchen, which is certainly an appropriate place for a sub :)

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 50

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 2:00:31 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I discovered that life is much calmer and easier when I don't feel compelled to search. I used to worry that I was lacking in something or not sub enough or not perfect enough to find what I was looking for. I've come to the conclusion that what I want is hard to find and it probably will not happen for me. Sometimes it makes me feel sad. But I have a busy life, with my family and two jobs, and I figure this is the way it's meant to be. If something happens great, if not, I still have a pretty good life.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

Post #: 51

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 2:11:35 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Dude, in his first post Michael was on to something...if you are going to put up a picture at least make it somewhat flattering if at all possible. You are not a bad looking dude but those pics are somewhat fucking creepy...Whats up with the Sims? Unless you really want someone to think you live in an alternate universe I would nix that pic and pronto...

You are obviously a smart guy...maybe you will find someone who digs your shit, but I gotta say coming out and complaining doesn't exactly exude confidence or charisma and I would think even a Domme would find those characteristics to be of worth.

Whether this is right for you or not is something that only you can decide, but I think by putting yourself in the best light possible will greatly enhance your prospects...I am not saying to be disonest but I would think that there is more to you than what appears on CM.

So good luck, and I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for.

I would stick to the forums only post when ypu are feeling upbeat...The saying is true, you catch a lot more beeeyatches with honey

This post leaves me completely lost and somewhat at a loss for words. Pictures of myself are somewhat creepy? Should I put pictures up of Fabio and say he's me?

Yes. That is what you should do. Put up pics of Fabio 'cause everyone thinks he is sooooo dreamy.....

No. I said that you were a nice looking guy....I would loose the pic with the tie...I would also consider what it might lead a woman to think when she sees the pic out of the "sims." Is that you and her? are you a total online geek?..Is she in for hours of fun living a simulated life instead of enjoying a real one?

Oh My sweet lil' sarbonn, if you can, think about what a woman would want in a man...Then simply try to put your best foot forward....Oh fuck! Who am I kidding? Go find Fabio and cut off one of his feet and pretend that it is yours....Good luck to you and Fabio's foot.

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Post #: 52

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 2:32:32 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

I'm thinking, by May, 2034 if I haven't found "The One" I'm absolutely going to give up.

Oh!

Well then, ya might take solace in the possibility that you mayn't suffer over long afterwards
(particularly if you reside somewheres in Cali) -

<http://www.news14charlotte.com/shared/print/default.asp?ArID=136503>

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Black Water Dragon

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 53

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 2:51:48 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

sarbonn and our gentle readers,

I live right next to you and have invited you to munches here and you don't want to go. You have posted you don't want to go to SF because it is a tiny two hours away.

Seriously, how many BDSM groups do you volunteer time to help? How many BDSM events have you helped organize or volunteered for? Frankly, how many munches have you ever gone to.?

There are people here who have NO local munches and no big city near them. YOU are lucky enough to have entire EVENTS dedicated to female doms and male subs. There isn't a night you don't have a choice of WHAT bdsm event to go to, most people consider themselves lucky to have two a MONTH.

If you are this whiny and bitchy in person and so unwilling to get off your ass and do anything other than "better" yourself no frigging wonder nobody has any interest. I really think deactivating your profile is a good idea for all of us, hope it works for you.

(in reply to kiyari)

Post #: 54

Parlay your Interests - 4/11/2007 2:51:59 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

It's different for men and women. There are just not enough bdsm women to go around. You might as well be looking for a Playboy playmate.
You have a better chance trying to find someone in real life you have a lot in common with, and try to get them interested in bdsm.
But then again what do I know, I'm in the same boat as you.

Best regards, Michael

Pertinent bit:
"You have a better chance trying to find someone in real life you have a lot in common with"

Yes, you might well do better to 'grow your own', perhaps.

You clearly have 'other' interests, as elaborated upon in another thread you started.

This being so, it might be well worth a try to take an initially 'Vanilla' route, in this wise:
Involve yourself with groups/activities which reside within some area of your 'other'(neutral/Vanilla) interests.

You well may, in so doing, encounter someone to whom you feel drawn. Then, (go slow!) if there seems to be some mutual Chemistry... well, there is the fine possibility that you may have discovered some diamond-in-the-rough.

What's to lose? At worst, you may add some friends to your life... and friends are No Small Thing.

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Black Water Dragon

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 55

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 3:19:21 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

me, personally, i've had the collar, the ownership, the right one for 'then', but this is now and i've changed, things have changed, they changed, etc.

i look at it more as, enjoying the journey, instead of worrying about the destination, and that tends to be very fruitfull to say the least.

right now, i'm concentrating on having fun, getting some needs met, and even some wants, and if the right one for 'now' or 'forever' comes along, we will know it, do something about it, and then i will discontinue my search, and not one second before that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. No, this isn't a depresso, oh woe is I (or me) kind of post. I've just never really found the person for whom I'm seeking, and I'm wondering if it's probably just a better idea to give up looking in the first place. I often see a lot of very successful searchers that talk about finding the right person they were seeking, but when it doesn't happen for you, do you continue giving it more and more time (kind of like Einstein's definition of insanity), or is there eventually a breaking point where you decide, you know, perhaps it just wasn't meant to be?

I know there's a lot of artsy-fartsy kind of responses that indicate that you never finish the road you're on until you reach your destination, and all that sort of stuff. That may work for some people, but for the meat and potato type of philosophers, do you continue searching, or do you hang up your unused collar and join the circus?

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 56

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 3:39:03 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

sarbonn and our gentle readers,

I live right next to you and have invited you to munches here and you don't want to go. You have posted you don't want to go to SF because it is a tiny two hours away.

Seriously, how many BDSM groups do you volunteer time to help? How many BDSM events have you helped organize or volunteered for? Frankly, how many munches have you ever gone to.?

There are people here who have NO local munches and no big city near them. YOU are lucky enough to have entire EVENTS dedicated to female doms and male subs. There isn't a night you don't have a choice of WHAT bdsm event to go to, most people consider themselves lucky to have two a MONTH.

If you are this whiny and bitchy in person and so unwilling to get off your ass and do anything other than "better" yourself no frigging wonder nobody has any interest. I really think deactivating your profile is a good idea for all of us, hope it works for you.

Your comments are somewhat irrelevant and hostile for inappropriate reasons, as you're addressing issues that really aren't issues. I go to San Francisco regularly these days; I didn't when I moved back to California. I'm not whining or even complaining in this thread. I started this thread asking how long before someone stops looking; I mentioned my own situation because I'm at the state where I've practically given up.

It's NOT because of a lack of contact with those who are into bdsm; it's just been misconnections with the wrong people. So I don't like munches. Big freaking do. I don't like munches because I have a bad history with munches whether it's been in Northern California or Kalamazoo, Michigan. It doesn't mean I don't have the ability or the channels available to actually participate in the community.

How many bdsm groups do I volunteer to help? Now? Two. Before, everyone I came across. I don't volunteer to help more than two these days because I just don't have the time that I used to have. I might in the future, but who knows? You make it out to be some kind of anti-altruistic streak that is somehow the cause of my ultimate problems in life.

How many bdsm events have I helped organized? Before, more than I could ever count, and I can count to at least ten with both hands. Now, a few. I am part of femdom organization that I volunteer for ALL THE TIME; I don't have the time to attend their functions, but you better believe I go out of my way to make sure their functions happen because I do care about my community and those I have grown up with as a bdsm lifestyler. So I don't go to munches. That seems to be your particular hard on for some reason. Big whoopty do.

I'm sorry YOU feel my deactivating my profile is somehow beneficial to the community because I haven't attended munches with you due to you supposedly asking me to them (which to be honest, I really don't remember, but I'll take your word on it because it really doesn't matter). What fascinates me about collarme is how people who don't even know me can take such hostility towards me because of their self-perceptions of what they believe I am probably saying rather than what I said. I could have come along here and did the old oh woe is me routine, but I've not done that. I'm pretty happy about myself and my life situation. I'm just not finding the results I'd like to find, so I asked people for their takes on it. Somehow, like usual, people turn into poffy hairdressers and run off all half-cocked as if someone has insulted the holy grails of collarme by not posting positive, the world is oh so wonderful, posts that serve as continuous drivel that people don't even read.

I'm sorry that somehow I've "offended" you by not being satisfied with my results lately. People have all sorts of things they bring up as conversation; yet, some people have a real need to interject hostility towards them because of...well, I don't know why you need to do it. But I guess I stepped on your marbles one day, or something.

Having said all that, I go back to my original sentiments of appreciating the responses that have actually been directed to the conversation, not the condemnations that seem to NEED to find their way into these types of conversations, as if someone's struggle to find ultimate happiness hinders someone else's desire to be top dog on the boards.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 57

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 3:47:24 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

...but I gotta say coming out and complaining doesn't exactly exude confidence or charisma and I would think even a Domme would find those characteristics to be of worth.

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 58

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 4:18:00 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

sarbonn,

My apologies. I thought I remembered reading any number of times where you didn't go to munches and disliked parties. I HAVE read a lot of your posts and clearly I missed something. I guess I missed the part where you had been so active in the scene.

Again, I apologize.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 59

RE: How long do you keep on going before you give up th... - 4/11/2007 4:22:29 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

Jesus, I read this thread, and I'm like, what are people looking for and why?

I guess I don't feel as if I'm searching for anything. I guess for me, the idea was to get out of my apartment, look around and see whats out there. Meet people, learn about them and see if there's enough common ground to continue interaction.

And, it seems to work for me. Sometimes, I meet for coffee and never see them again. Sometimes, I see them again, but only once. Sometimes, I meet them and know instantly I'll follow them anywhere. Thus far no-one's been so keen on that idea, but that doesn't take away from my experience.

But, its always worth it even when I get stood up. Because then I can sit by myself and have a cup of coffee with me.

My thinking is that if you're not excited about meeting people just because its good to meet people then your search is going to be a long, frustrating excercise in futility. If you don't already like people just because, then chances are when you meet them, you're gonna be dissapointed.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 60

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