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RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 4:56:33 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Trust me...it wasn't ESP...I just went to high school... I've heard so many terrible lines, it would curl your hair.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:02:06 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Until he can master his own sexual desires, how could he ever master you?
Sex on the second date is fine, if the chemistry is there and it just happens.  Planning sex to "get it out of the way" seems to me like a lame excuse to screw you and leave you.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but thats how it comes across to me.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:02:44 PM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

This applies to a lot of things in D/s relationship, but don't do anything YOU are not comfortable with or ready for.  I understand about the self doubts, but think of it this way.  Wouldn't you rather wait till you get to know each other better and the trust is built further...... and know he's with you because you are you?  Rather than taking the plunge for the reason he stated and you wake up to realize that he just wanted a quick lay or he goes poof and no more contact? 

It happens.  Not saying that's what will happen with your situation.  But if you are not ready to have sex with him, or have concerns, then don't do it.  You have to look out for you.

There are risks involved in anything we do - so if you're willing to take the risk, then do it.

Good luck in whatever decision you make!



Thank you.  My decision was already made before I even posted.  My thoughts are, now that I've told him I wasn't ready for sex on the 2nd date, I won't hear from him again.  And if I was foolish enough to think I would be able to keep him by sleeping with him, that would probably have been the end as well.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:10:03 PM   
Stranger1


Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		He waits for a second date to ask?

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:13:32 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Thank you.  My decision was already made before I even posted.  My thoughts are, now that I've told him I wasn't ready for sex on the 2nd date, I won't hear from him again.  And if I was foolish enough to think I would be able to keep him by sleeping with him, that would probably have been the end as well.


Just be prepared, because he may pull the "you aren't a true submissive" routine because you won't do what he wants. 

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:18:59 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Just be prepared, because he may pull the "you aren't a true submissive" routine because you won't do what he wants. 


Oh hell yes! Slam dunk right there Angel!

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RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:21:11 PM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Thank you.  My decision was already made before I even posted.  My thoughts are, now that I've told him I wasn't ready for sex on the 2nd date, I won't hear from him again.  And if I was foolish enough to think I would be able to keep him by sleeping with him, that would probably have been the end as well.


Just be prepared, because he may pull the "you aren't a true submissive" routine because you won't do what he wants. 


*laughs*  It wouldn't be the first time I've heard that line.  Thankfully, I am mature enough to see right thru it.  I do feel bad for sub's that don't have the self-confidence to see thru that one.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:28:44 PM   
Liiaa


Posts: 17
Joined: 3/29/2007
Status: offline 		Feel Bad for the people who think that they have to use that line

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:40:38 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Hi all, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this.  However, I would love to hear the opinion of others.  Should I be careful with a Dom who wants to have sex on the second date?  His reasoning being "So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".

Thanks in advance for all of your replies.


I had sex with my Lord the first evening that we met face to face and he didn't really take me on a date either.  We had conversed for several months before meeting in person; I was more than ready to make that step.

So, I do not see a problem with someone wanting to have sex right away.  I think his reason for it is rather ridiculous.  I think you should be careful if he refuses to accept a "no, thank you" and continues to force the issue or use emotional blackmail.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:42:57 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

His reasoning being "So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".



OH THIS JUST YELLS RED FLAG TO ME

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:49:18 PM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Hi all, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this.  However, I would love to hear the opinion of others.  Should I be careful with a Dom who wants to have sex on the second date?  His reasoning being "So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".

Thanks in advance for all of your replies.


I had sex with my Lord the first evening that we met face to face and he didn't really take me on a date either.  We had conversed for several months before meeting in person; I was more than ready to make that step.

So, I do not see a problem with someone wanting to have sex right away.  I think his reason for it is rather ridiculous.  I think you should be careful if he refuses to accept a "no, thank you" and continues to force the issue or use emotional blackmail.

Knight's kyra


Thank you for your reply.  I probably wouldn't have a problem having sex with him on the second date, IF we had communicated longer, either thru email or phone conversations.  Neither is the case.  I guess I'm being a typical woman here, ( and please take that remark with a grain of salt, I don't mean to upset anyone) but us women have the reputation of needing an emotional connection.  I don't feel that yet. 

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:55:04 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		~giggling~ I guess I'm an atypical woman then, considering how many times I've had sex on a first, or second date. ~chuckles~ and I didn't meet ANY of them through the internet.

But hey, if you feel sex on the 2nd date, great. That's no reason to be wary.
It's his lame line to be wary of. Puh-LEASE.
You might point out to him that he will have just as much luck by jerking off before your date, and getting the sexual frustration out of the way before he even sees you. And just let him know that anytime the sexual frustration gets to be too much for him, you'll be happy to wait while he uses the restroom and takes care of the problem.

You could even point out the Fleshlight to him - I've heard it's a great product.

~beaming helpfully~

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:56:01 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

but us women have the reputation of needing an emotional connection.  I don't feel that yet. 


and a men have a reputation of wanting a physical one!   Interestingly.. snag a man's emotions... and then giving him the physical will just intentisfy it for both.

As kyra said.. We slept together that first night.... but I was already deeply in love with her.

with alandra it was a month or so later after spending just about every day together we could... The love was pretty strong... the sex was grew from that.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:56:04 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's less about the sex or your lack of emotional connection...but the fact that he bothered to use a line like that.
 
If he can't handle the subtleties of trying to get in your pants, how could he possibly handle the subtleties and intricacies involved in trying to get into your head?

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:58:01 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette
If he can't handle the subtleties of trying to get in your pants, how could he possibly handle the subtleties and intricacies involved in trying to get into your head?


STANDS UP AND APPLAUDS LOUDLY

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 5:59:54 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		~bows to KoM and all who bothered to read her enlightened words~

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 6:00:31 PM   
simplyangelic1


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		What's the matter?  Has his hand rejected him?  More than likely he's not a "Dom" in the truest sense of the word and just someone who thinks he's got a better shot at getting laid if he pretends he is one.  Tell him if he's that frustrated that there is a corner somewhere he can get cured.

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 6:00:49 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette
If he can't handle the subtleties of trying to get in your pants, how could he possibly handle the subtleties and intricacies involved in trying to get into your head?


Amen Sistah! Preach it loud!

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 6:01:53 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		I didn't take the time to read the OP's original premise....but allow me to state here for all to hear....

I'm all for immediate sex.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 6:02:09 PM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

I think it's less about the sex or your lack of emotional connection...but the fact that he bothered to use a line like that.
 
If he can't handle the subtleties of trying to get in your pants, how could he possibly handle the subtleties and intricacies involved in trying to get into your head?


Funny thing is, he was actually beginning to get into my head... but that line just cancelled everything else out.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 40
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