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RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 6:02:56 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Now my head is so swollen I'm gonna need some Crisco to get through the door...

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"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

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RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 8:15:30 PM   
GrizzlyBear


Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

  I move slow and carefully because I am here for a commitment and there is a lot to absorb and factor in.


Dude, you keep that up, yer gonna ruin the reputation you've spent so long building...


_____________________________

GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 8:25:02 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

Such a person has failed to master their own sexuality. How could they possibly master your's?
One can only share that which they have already found and know within themself.


You're shittimg me, right?  This is satire?

'Cause otherwise man is that fucking ridonkulous.  Master themselves before they master another?  Sweet Baby Jesus--is that of some dumbass BDSM fortune cookie?  I mean, 60% of the people here couldn't master a twinkie.  

This isn't leadership.  This isn't secret society that inculcates virtue in members who do enough tongue to leather blackbooting to eanr their secret decoder ring.

This is kink, perversion, sexual deviance--this is wanting D/s/ageplay/SM/Bondage/Some-Fucking-Something to get your engine revving.  No koans here.  Just pervs.

(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 8:37:02 PM   
dreamsndesires


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

Such a person has failed to master their own sexuality. How could they possibly master your's?
One can only share that which they have already found and know within themself.


You're shittimg me, right?  This is satire?

'Cause otherwise man is that fucking ridonkulous.  Master themselves before they master another?  Sweet Baby Jesus--is that of some dumbass BDSM fortune cookie?  I mean, 60% of the people here couldn't master a twinkie.  

This isn't leadership.  This isn't secret society that inculcates virtue in members who do enough tongue to leather blackbooting to eanr their secret decoder ring.

This is kink, perversion, sexual deviance--this is wanting D/s/ageplay/SM/Bondage/Some-Fucking-Something to get your engine revving.  No koans here.  Just pervs.


What does your shitting me actually mean?  Everyone has his/her right to their own opinion.  This one is yours, and he has the right to his own.

Serve proud, serve with love

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 8:57:41 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I've gone into a first encounter with both parties saying that there wouldn't be any 'funny business' on that first 'date', but with the attraction level before the first date and during, it happened anyway.

Nothing bad happened.  Made things even more special.  Felt right, was right.  Simple stuff.

You do what you feel is right at the time.  You want to, don't stop yourself because of moralistic behavior.  Or stop yourself.  Either way, you need to believe your choice was the right one.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 9:25:47 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh come on, what woman wouldn't want a man to come up behind her, sweep her hair aside and just start biting her neck, all while pinning her against the wall and thrusting his leg up between hers.  I mean there must be at least one really hot nastly slut who just craves something like this.

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RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 9:31:26 PM   
dreamsndesires


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Oh come on, what woman wouldn't want a man to come up behind her, sweep her hair aside and just start biting her neck, all while pinning her against the wall and thrusting his leg up between hers.  I mean there must be at least one really hot nastly slut who just craves something like this.


No offense to you, but I think you're missing the point.  I don't think it's a question of who wouldn't like what you've described, I certainly would.  I think it is more of how the subject was brought up.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 9:55:52 PM   
simplyangelic1


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		Oh hell yes but not with a stranger or a near stranger.  I may be a slut but I am picky.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 10:00:13 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Oh come on, what woman wouldn't want a man to come up behind her, sweep her hair aside and just start biting her neck, all while pinning her against the wall and thrusting his leg up between hers.


Well, if I had a weapon handy enough, and the crocodiles were hungry enough, it might be a useful way of weeding out the gene pool.  LOL

I was DM'ing at a play party, and this absolutely fantastic looking, incredibly hot, bodybuilder cut, mostly naked blonde guy came up to me, grabbed my hand and put it on his lube covered penis.  Instead of getting some kinky fun, which he certainly would have if he'd asked instead of touching without asking, he got his rude ass kicked out of the party.  He was pretty surprised and didn't quite understand how his good looks really did not make uninvited sexual contact with a stranger's body fluids any more appealing.  I don't think I've ever seen a more classically handsome guy in the flesh, but the magnitude of his social faux pas was such that he might as well have been Quasimodo.

Now I'm a dominant (and was clearly flagging same, as well as wearing a DM sash), so it's possible that my viewpoint is affected by sexual orientation.  But his attractiveness to me literally went down to zero from a previous "10" when he acted like a jerk.  Walking up to a DM on the job and breaking at least three separate party rules in a lame attempt to get played with was so moronic that it just pushed a button in my head and turned his attractiveness off like a light. 

A guy coming up behind me, grabbing me and trying to do the dry-hump would trigger a very serious self-defense reaction, and if he actually bit me, I'd probably bring him up on assault charges.  It's one thing if someone you're already quasi-intimate with makes a move, or someone you've given consent to on some level.  But being grabbed or even touched by a total stranger, no way.  That's going to put me in a mindset that is not in the least bit sexy or receptive.

I don't know whether my reaction is typical or atypical, but I doubt I'm entirely alone in feeling this way.  Grabbing without asking is not cool.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 10:01:35 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		My dominant and I had sex on our first meet, I previously had sworn up and down, it's not for play it's not for kink, we're simply meeting hanging out nothing more and in the end it felt right, so we had sex. we've been together for about 7 months now, and he makes me insanely happy. Please  be careful of what it appears you're telling people or of sounding like you're trying to tell someone the right way. if they want to fast track it who's to say their wrong.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Liiaa

and not to mention the taking it slow part.....this should not be a fast Track experiance for either of you


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 10:29:25 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Hi all, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this.  However, I would love to hear the opinion of others.  Should I be careful with a Dom who wants to have sex on the second date?  His reasoning being "So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".

Thanks in advance for all of your replies.

Well I've been with Daddy over two years and we fucked like mad bunnies on our second date.  Shit our second date was a fuck fest with a bit of sushi thrown in.  Now this guy you're dealing with doesn't sound too smart but that works for some.  Not sure I'd have gone on a first date with him.  But his rationale for fucking wouldn't work for me.  You wanta fuck?  Just say so.  No other reason needed.  Sorta like hurting me, do it just cause you want to and that will make me gush.  Straight no chaser.  That's how I like my tops.

On the other hand insulting my intelligence is no way to end up up my skirt and in my bed.




_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 10:40:35 PM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55

quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Hi all, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this.  However, I would love to hear the opinion of others.  Should I be careful with a Dom who wants to have sex on the second date?  His reasoning being "So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".

Thanks in advance for all of your replies.

Well I've been with Daddy over two years and we fucked like mad bunnies on our second date.  Shit our second date was a fuck fest with a bit of sushi thrown in.  Now this guy you're dealing with doesn't sound too smart but that works for some.  Not sure I'd have gone on a first date with him.  But his rationale for fucking wouldn't work for me.  You wanta fuck?  Just say so.  No other reason needed.  Sorta like hurting me, do it just cause you want to and that will make me gush.  Straight no chaser.  That's how I like my tops.

On the other hand insulting my intelligence is no way to end up up my skirt and in my bed.





I definitely don't see myself as a prude. And I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex with someone new if the chemistry is right.  What I did resent was the fact he basically told me he expected sex on our next date, as well as the reason he gave.  That just signaled that he is just looking to get laid and not really into a LTR, which I am looking for.

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 10:52:11 PM   
ownedkitten


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2
"So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".


Oh Snap! I am SO gonna use that line. Think I'll get laid?

Master Fire - HNG tonight *chuckle*



*giggle*  That was fantastic.


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 11:20:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		As many have said- it's not the sex on the first date (or second) that's the issue- it's the ridiculous justification.

Despite what you'll hear preached about, playing and fucking on a first (or second) meeting is extremely commonplace.

The issue is of course- are they doing it for the right reasons?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 11:21:09 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		You asked "should I be careful with a Dom who wants to have sex on a second date"?  My answer is no.  Some guys want to have sex.  They are in it for the sex.  Hell many gals do too.  You can resent that but it is life.   It is possible to learn to weed out those types before the first date if that is truly what you dont want.  As I said, he's clearly not the sharpest knife in the draw.  This can't be the first asinine thing he's said to you.


< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 4/13/2007 11:25:21 PM >

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/13/2007 11:37:16 PM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, it was.... I'm usually pretty good with the weeding out process, and normally don't even bother to meet someone unless I think there is some form of sincerity and intelligence to be found.  That remark just totally caught me of guard.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/14/2007 6:08:00 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

As many have said- it's not the sex on the first date (or second) that's the issue- it's the ridiculous justification.

Despite what you'll hear preached about, playing and fucking on a first (or second) meeting is extremely commonplace.

The issue is of course- are they doing it for the right reasons?


There was this one guy once...

I met him at a party. We exchanged phone numbers - not e-mail addresses, but phone numbers. He called. We decided to meet the following Thursday for dinner.

During dinner he told me a funny story about someone he used to know. He met her while walking down the street. She was upstairs at a house, out on the balcony. She interested him. He stopped and asked her for a drink of water. She was going to hand it down to him. He said something to the effect of "let me in, I'll come up for it." She hesitated. He waited. She invited him up. Eventually, in the course of their conversation, they decided to go out together. He grinned at her and said that he wanted to do more. She demured.

He just broke it down to her this way:

"We're going to go out, right? And when we do, we'll go on a couple of dates, dinner, etc and eventually, we'll be winding up in bed, right?"

She answered "right."

He said, "So let's just cut to the chase. We'll still go out."

And they did.

So, here's the thing. He told me all this to set me up to head to a motel with him. He knew it. I knew it. I could have gotten all offended. I could have thought him tacky and otherwise to bring up some other girl he'd been with. I could have done and thought a lot of things.

What I did was finish my drink, fold up my napkin, laugh and say "cutting to the chase sounds real good. Makes sense to me."

He finished his drink, folded his napkin, picked up the check and said "let's get out of here. Where's the nearest motel."

I pointed it out to him and away we went.

See, while he was cutting to the chase, I'd already made up my mind that that's exactly where I wanted to go with him, and it wouldn't have taken even one little sentence of that story to convince me. I just thought it was cute.

In August, we'll be celebrating 5 years together.

Not bad for cutting to the chase. And yes, I supposed people could have called it a lame story, but I just thought it was cute.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 4/14/2007 6:11:49 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/14/2007 8:09:53 AM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline 		While i have had  sex on the first  meeting, the dynamics of the relationship just worked out that way. Their is nothing wrong with having sex with someone on your first meeting(or second).....if its what you want to do.

The question is this: Do you really want to be with  a dom that has concentration problems when his winkie is hard?If he is that easily distracted, he may get  you nude and forget all about doming you.

This to me sounds like a desperate cry for sex. And  is a poor excuse for sex( and their arent many in my opinion). I think its safe to say that any dom that needs to get off so he can concentrate on being a "master" is no where near the point of being a master of anything.In my opinion, I would seek a new dom, or at least use extreme caution with this one.

< Message edited by Slavetrainer2007 -- 4/14/2007 8:12:41 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/14/2007 9:29:11 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notlooking2

Hi all, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this.  However, I would love to hear the opinion of others.  Should I be careful with a Dom who wants to have sex on the second date?  His reasoning being "So he can get the sexual frustrations out of the way and can concentrate on being a Master".

Thanks in advance for all of your replies.


Do you want to have sex on the second date? It sounds like a line to me, but that is up to you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to notlooking2)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Immediate sex? - 4/14/2007 9:29:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra
"We're going to go out, right? And when we do, we'll go on a couple of dates, dinner, etc and eventually, we'll be winding up in bed, right?"

She answered "right."

He said, "So let's just cut to the chase. We'll still go out."

Except those dates and dinners can be REALLY important to getting to know someone and deciding if it's ready for you, ready with them, to have sex.  I wouldn't want to be with someone who suggested we could just skip a few steps to fuck.

Obviously I'm fine with fucking immediately, but I don't pretend that it means we're at a place we're not, and I'm not ok with people who think justifications over it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 60
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