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ORIGINAL: aldompdx

Anger flows from fear of the unknown (ignorance), fear of loss (attachment), fear of threat to survival (loss of life -- physical or ego), subconsciously repeating past pattyerns of abuse inflicted by others, etc. Basically, get stupid scared, and you can find anger.

You gave me some points to ponder...not sure if this would work with me...will turn it upside down and analyze

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ORIGINAL: Stranger1

I'm schooled in looking into reactions by my experiences as a Top. How I react is up to me-and I need not process input as it is intended.

Control during a scene is my primal motivation-my trigger. I see it as fun-not some onerous duty call..........."true slaves" need not apply-I have other religious feelings I owe primary allegiance to-not a "lifestyle" based on some fantasy. That's a fine and dnady thing for those who are trilled by it-But my twue master days pretty much ended when I looked in the mirror-and saw this bufoon looking back...............I still haven't stopped laughing-and the laughter keeps that man far away from me these days.

Life is about joy, and connections.

And anger is about fear-and I no longer well in those principalities.

They were not places where I was happy.

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Perhaps you redirect it in another way.
Master Fire

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ORIGINAL: hawkwolf7

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

For me, I am extremely slow to anger and wonder if this is the reason hard to find the buttons in a scene...
 

sometimes is just because the person that plays you doesn't want to hit those buttons.

Myself.. I take pleasure by hitting those buttons.  I do it to alandra and kyra all the time.   But, it has been my observation that few Tops actually like to see that type of aggression/anger turn towards them in the play.

I agree with KoM.  Anger play, usually as a component of resistance play is pretty atypical.  I remember the first time I stumbled into it, I was a little freaked out.  I thought I had done something wrong.  I also think it is atypical because some submissives believe they should have better control than to let those emotions out.  But, over time, I have come to love that type of play.  From the top side, you have to get over that knee-jerk reaction to their anger.  When they get pissed off, just smile or laugh, and push them back down on the cross again. (Just writing about it puts me in my happy place :).  For me, it isn't about annoying them, it is about pushing the boundaries of their self-control... for them to discover they will be able to survive out there, that the world won't end, and that at least one person will be there with them, and will still like/love them after it's over.

I find these types of scenes very intense.  The emotional content is simply much higher than your garden variety scene.  And that means the energy exchange is much higher as well.  It is fulfilling and satisfying in the same way a milestone scene (one where the submissive overcomes an internal barrier), only ten times more intense.

I can't really address it from the submissive side, other than share the concerns that have arisen.  The most common concern is that they are afraid they will come off the cross and hurt me.  I tell them that I would take it as a compliment, because I was able to push them to the point that they would do something that their rational mind would never consider doing.  And as long as they didn't break something (arm or leg or whatever) then I would call it a good scene.

Of course, these kind of scenes are not interesting with a submissive who is always out of control, just those who aren't.

This response ended up being alot more scattered than I usually prefer, but I need to stop and finish my taxes.  If I wasn't clear, or offended someone... blame the IRS!

HawkWolf

Say hello to the IRS for me

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ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

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ORIGINAL: spanklette

For me, I'm an emotional person by nature...that includes my temper. And, I'm an emotional submissive...stoicism is not my cup of tea.
 
During play, I prefer that anything but anger be tapped. In fact, the only scene that my Daddy and I ever discontinued was because I was getting angry. Even after discussing it, we're still not sure what buttons He pushed. It's never happened again.
 
I have seen people use anger as catharsis during scenes, but I suppose, it just doesn't suit me or our dynamic. Certainly, I've let other things go during a scene, but I find that anger numbs me to every other emotion and keeps me from being able to enjoy the other variants other emotions bring to the table.

Hello spanklette,
 
always enjoy your input...
 
wow, if I felt something that was unusual, I would want to know all the 5 w's..who, what, when where and how..and bring it on again....
 
So, if I am understanding you, you are easy to provoke out of scenes, but not so easily in scenes (since only experienced one time?)
 
See?  you understand what this raw emotion would do to you...at this point,  I can only speculate for me...
 
Thank you,
~curious~

First of all, thank you!

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ORIGINAL: Stranger1

My only reservation would be if it became "real" beyond the scene.

It has to end at the door.

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ORIGINAL: TigressFL

"sounded" like I was angry just to mess with their head.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The oddest thing happened to me about a year or so ago.  He started digging deeper and deeper into me emotionally while using me and playing with me.  He found a trigger button that brought up intense rage - - as though all the rage I had held in throughout my childhood (it wasn't really a fun one) and in the years to pass, had begun to rise to the surface.  I was in this place of subspace and just went ballistic - out of control madness.  He let it continue for awhile and then brought me back safely. It scared the hell out of me, and we talked of it at great length afterward. 

He would tap into that from time to time, and the same thing would always occur, although with less intensity each time, as though letting steam out of the pressure cooker, until the anger was gone.  Completely gone.  Cripes it was better than therapy!  Now he takes me to that place and what comes out is an animalistic, primal response. We call it my inner beast.  No anger there at all, just intense lust, passion and energy rising up and taking over.  I love it, he loves it, and it renders me totally exhausted, lol.  Yay!

OMG>>>I so understand this...and CRAVE to go to these places...

okay...thank you for increasing the longing ..

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ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

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ORIGINAL: Stranger1

My only reservation would be if it became "real" beyond the scene.

It has to end at the door.

Exactly...I would want someone that knows me well and experienced to take me here.

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ORIGINAL: spanklette

So, I have no desire to experience loss of control squared, again.

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ORIGINAL: hawkwolf7

For me, it isn't about annoying them, it is about pushing the boundaries of their self-control... for them to discover they will be able to survive out there, that the world won't end, and that at least one person will be there with them, and will still like/love them after it's over.

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I find these types of scenes very intense.  The emotional content is simply much higher than your garden variety scene.  And that means the energy exchange is much higher as well.  It is fulfilling and satisfying in the same way a milestone scene (one where the submissive overcomes an internal barrier), only ten times more intense.

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.  The most common concern is that they are afraid they will come off the cross and hurt me. 

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Of course, these kind of scenes are not interesting with a submissive who is always out of control, just those who aren't.

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ORIGINAL: lovewithoutfear

"But bottom line, if you have experienced these things in scenes, how does it compare to your temperment in day-to-day life as a submissive?
 
Are you easier to provoke in scenes because you are easily provoked in daily routine..or vice versa? "

I'm pretty easy to provoke anytime.  I would not say I am an angry person, just that all my emotions run fairly close to the surface.  I like to play with anger and resistance in SM -- I swear and scream and roar (and scare onlookers, which is part of the kink too!)  I like what someone else said on this thread, that it is about the bottom knowing someone is there with them through the anger and will still like them at the other end of it.

But I find I cannot do this kind of play with Sir, only with other Tops.  With Sir I am too open to his will and not defended enough.

I posted a story of a scene with Sir and another Top to my journal here that addressed this, but the site seems to have eaten it for it is not there now.

Smiles
JoyfulYes
lovewithoutfear
 

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ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
OMG>>>I so understand this...and CRAVE to go to these places...
 
okay...thank you for increasing the longing ..
 
~curious~

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

But, it has been my observation that few Tops actually like to see that type of aggression/anger turn towards them in the play.

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

But, it has been my observation that few Tops actually like to see that type of aggression/anger turn towards them in the play.

I can agree with that. Since my primary fetish is control with my sadistic desires a distant second, aggression and anger comes off as restistance and a personal sexual turn off. 

BUT>....if it was a turn on for the submissive...would that turn your off to on?

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

But, it has been my observation that few Tops actually like to see that type of aggression/anger turn towards them in the play.

I can agree with that. Since my primary fetish is control with my sadistic desires a distant second, aggression and anger comes off as restistance and a personal sexual turn off. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I can agree with that. Since my primary fetish is control with my sadistic desires a distant second, aggression and anger comes off as restistance and a personal sexual turn off.