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RE: Anger?? - 4/14/2007 3:12:10 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone

Hello...

It usually means there was a bad impact or wrap that pulled me out of my headspace or I am just not getting to the headspace where I need to be.

but the dominants I have played with know I tend to be a SAM and will turn to that safe haven and run my mouth which usually brings about more and more pain......which I will use to get to where I need to be to push on through to blissful subspace! I have never exploded and come out of my submission with a dominant. Thank gawd! Hopefully this makes sense!

Greetings impetuousone,

This sounds like its a very natural thing for you...

However, correct me if I am wrong, it sounds like you still retain control of it during scenes?

Always,
~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to impetuousone)

Post #: 61

RE: Anger?? - 4/14/2007 3:13:30 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Anger for me is not a quick response, nor something hot. It's ice cold. I warn people that they are going too far before I get angry. If they do it anyway, then I don't forgive them for deliberately breaking agreed upon limits.

In scene I've accidentally had good tears, bad tears, panic and emotional withdrawal, never anger.

Greetings Celeste43,

I understand what you are saying,....is it something you would wish to experience?

~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 62

RE: Anger?? - 4/14/2007 3:21:28 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alandraofMists
*grins* oh yes... that was a great laugh after the fact.... but it also shows how strong emotion and being distracted can cause little points of imformation to go unnoticed.

Knight's alandra

The Vienna Boys Chior could have been huddled around the play space singing Carmon and I don't think I would have noticed at that moment,lol...

denika

(in reply to alandraofMists)

Post #: 63

RE: Anger?? - 4/14/2007 3:23:52 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Hats off to you, denika

Ahh, hahahahahah.....

brat

denika

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 64

RE: Anger?? - 4/14/2007 3:28:05 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Hats off to you, denika

Ahh, hahahahahah..... brat

denika

Greetings denika..

Love ya, mean it!

Seriously, im glad your experience got shared...

Have an inspired day,
~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 65

RE: Anger?? - 4/14/2007 9:37:54 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
See? it's hard for me to understand where your mind and emotions went with those actions because I would have definitely reacted differently..I would have been settling into the pain in my mind (if that makes sense)

I'm curious (no, actually you are), what do you mean by settling into the pain?

It also really depends on time and place and what the circumstances are. We had just had a period of time where he used all sorts of implements on me, and maybe because I am healing from being sick but everything he did was exponentially more painful than usual. So we had just spent some time with me trying to surrender to pain and having a really hard time with it. So when all was said and done and he whacked me hard with this thing, indignancy followed by roaring laughter was the reaction.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 66

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 5:53:13 AM

impetuousone

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone

Hello...

It usually means there was a bad impact or wrap that pulled me out of my headspace or I am just not getting to the headspace where I need to be.

but the dominants I have played with know I tend to be a SAM and will turn to that safe haven and run my mouth which usually brings about more and more pain......which I will use to get to where I need to be to push on through to blissful subspace! I have never exploded and come out of my submission with a dominant. Thank gawd! Hopefully this makes sense!

Greetings impetuousone,

This sounds like its a very natural thing for you...

However, correct me if I am wrong, it sounds like you still retain control of it during scenes?

Always,
~curious~

Hello curious,

Like you, I have been involved in scenes for many years and much of my reactions are very natural. Anger is not something that happens very often but it does happen.

Are you asking if I keep control of my anger during a scene? If so, my answer is absolutely yes! To show my anger would be to come out of my submission to the dominant. This is not something that lasts more than a second or two. It is a blip on the radar screen. In discussions after the scene, either as part of aftercare, or just reminiscing about the scene at a later date, if the dominant questions me about what happened at that particular moment during the scene, I will admit it and discuss it with him. I feel I own the anger and as such, it is for me to deal with. Just my 2 cents worth.

pet

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 67

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 8:02:27 AM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
See? it's hard for me to understand where your mind and emotions went with those actions because I would have definitely reacted differently..I would have been settling into the pain in my mind (if that makes sense)

I'm curious (no, actually you are), what do you mean by settling into the pain?

It also really depends on time and place and what the circumstances are. We had just had a period of time where he used all sorts of implements on me, and maybe because I am healing from being sick but everything he did was exponentially more painful than usual. So we had just spent some time with me trying to surrender to pain and having a really hard time with it. So when all was said and done and he whacked me hard with this thing, indignancy followed by roaring laughter was the reaction.

Greetings ownedgirlie,

"settling" into the pain....when I feel a hit, blow, whack , smack (you get the picture)..naturally, my focus goes to that spot, all my senses come alive, I feel that pain, my mind automatically adjust to the degree of jolt, and literally in my mind I can "see" feel this pain permiate through different parts of me..

It's kind of like watching the Discovery Channel when you see a camera going through the body..the pain does that in my mind, I see and feel it, settle into it, adjust to all the sensations that it brings...

If anyone else feels this "settling into the pain" they may can verbalize it much much better.

well wishes,
~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 68

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 8:04:31 AM

foryourservice37

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/14/2005
Status: offline

you are a corrupted girl, Ronnie

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 69

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 8:05:40 AM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone

Hello...

It usually means there was a bad impact or wrap that pulled me out of my headspace or I am just not getting to the headspace where I need to be.

but the dominants I have played with know I tend to be a SAM and will turn to that safe haven and run my mouth which usually brings about more and more pain......which I will use to get to where I need to be to push on through to blissful subspace! I have never exploded and come out of my submission with a dominant. Thank gawd! Hopefully this makes sense!

Greetings impetuousone,

This sounds like its a very natural thing for you...

However, correct me if I am wrong, it sounds like you still retain control of it during scenes?

Always,
~curious~

Hello curious,

Like you, I have been involved in scenes for many years and much of my reactions are very natural. Anger is not something that happens very often but it does happen.

Are you asking if I keep control of my anger during a scene? If so, my answer is absolutely yes! To show my anger would be to come out of my submission to the dominant. This is not something that lasts more than a second or two. It is a blip on the radar screen. In discussions after the scene, either as part of aftercare, or just reminiscing about the scene at a later date, if the dominant questions me about what happened at that particular moment during the scene, I will admit it and discuss it with him. I feel I own the anger and as such, it is for me to deal with. Just my 2 cents worth.

pet

Greetings impetuousone,

Isn't it great that the feelings/reactions never stop and always are different...Love it!

Like you, felt many things, anger/agression is at the top of the list now wanting to explore.

Do you know what buttons are pushed since this is rare for you?

Thank you,
~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to impetuousone)

Post #: 70

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 8:07:31 AM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: foryourservice37

you are a corrupted girl, Ronnie

Greetings...

(laughing)....which girl? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Always,
~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to foryourservice37)

Post #: 71

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 8:35:08 AM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
Greetings denika..

Love ya, mean it!

Seriously, im glad your experience got shared...

Have an inspired day,
~curious~

Thank you, shared is a good word, *s* it was a very powerful play, lol Rob ended up having to sit and talk with a young fellow who was traumatized watching. he was convinced I was being tortured... Which is true but it was consentual *g* and much appreciated torture.

Take care

denika

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 72

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 10:06:19 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

When I have played with Sir and was reacting very strongly with my body, but not with my words (mostly b/c I was either gagged or it was too loud for him to hear me, or b/c I had tried to talk earlier in the scene and he hadn't heard so I gave up on it)....
Ok that was a run on sentence.
I got angry during a scene once because I felt Sir was ignoring my reactions. I was reacting very strongly physically, but was not safewording. Normally he checks in with me if I am flinching excessively, and when he didn't I got angry - especially as I wondered to myself "If he isn't paying attention to me, what the fuck is so important that he is paying attention to?" Basically I ended the scene. Afterwards I lashed out. Not a positive thing. But I didn't react with anger during the scene, I just got angry and then said "I can't do this we have to stop playing."

On the other hand, Sir and I did a lot of persona play when we first got together. We don't indulge in it as much anymore, unfortunately. Persona play, as I define it, being taking a lot of emotions and creating a personality/persona that is the...erm...personification of those emotions. And then giving the persona a name, sharing with each other the various personas, and when a persona comes out, allowing it to be what it is. dia was my slave persona, Marie is the little girl in me, alix is the cat within me. Lindir is the animalistic defender within me. And Sir has a matching persona. So I found that if I consciously let go of "me" and slipped "Lindir" on for a while, I became very non-verbal, and growled a lot. If I began to growl during sex, Sir recognized the persona coming out. And it allowed me to say no during sex, without him thinking he was raping me. I could growl, and fight, and say no, and try to stop him. I don't know if the expression was ever truly anger, or if it was just my indulgence in a desire to be forced. But I do know that it was cathartic to be able to fight as hard as I could and still not win.

Sir and I have gotten into it physically a time or two (all at my instigation) when we were fighting, and I have truly wished at those times that we would do intense take down scenes where I could scream and rage and fight and hit and bite, and in the end have him still be there, in control, loving me and holding me while the tears came.

~E

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 73

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 5:25:04 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
Greetings ownedgirlie,

"settling" into the pain....when I feel a hit, blow, whack , smack (you get the picture)..naturally, my focus goes to that spot, all my senses come alive, I feel that pain, my mind automatically adjust to the degree of jolt, and literally in my mind I can "see" feel this pain permiate through different parts of me..

It's kind of like watching the Discovery Channel when you see a camera going through the body..the pain does that in my mind, I see and feel it, settle into it, adjust to all the sensations that it brings...

If anyone else feels this "settling into the pain" they may can verbalize it much much better.

well wishes,
~curious~

Hi again, Curious,

Thanks for such a wonderfully descriptive reply to my question! And I certainly don't mean to derail this thread by talking about pain instead of anger, but I am always interested in how someone else deals with receiving pain, since it is always a struggle for me. Then again, Mr. Wonderful enjoys watching me struggle, so that's part of the amusement for him :)

With the "recycled tires," however, we were goofing around playfully, which is why my mood and reaction were so different. He brutalized me again this morning and it was all I could do to stay in place and take it. But I didn't get angry or indignant, lol.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 74

RE: Anger?? - 4/15/2007 9:15:27 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I can agree with that. Since my primary fetish is control with my sadistic desires a distant second, aggression and anger comes off as restistance and a personal sexual turn off.

That's why she says "pineapple"!

On a related note, Paris Hilton shoves a pineapple in her pussy in Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset episode of South Park.

Of course, then Mr. Slave shoves Paris Hilton into his anus in the same episode to win the Whore-Off.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 75

RE: Anger?? - 4/16/2007 2:54:27 AM

sexyone4you

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

During a session, I tend to get mouthy and egg on the Master I serve when I feel like I can take more sensation. I personally am quick-tempered about somethings and slow to anger with others. During a scene, I can get really mad when verbally or emotionally pushed. There is a marked difference when I verbally lash out from anger and egging on a beating.

I am not a "slave-wired" slave. I have emotions, feeling, thoughts, etc. and I express them. As long as I do so respectfully, the Master I serve appreciates that. He feels like I do have unresolved anger and is helping me work on it.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 76

RE: Anger?? - 4/16/2007 8:03:08 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am not a "slave-wired" slave. I have emotions, feeling, thoughts, etc. and I express them. As long as I do so respectfully, the Master I serve appreciates that.

Not to derail, but I don't see how expressing emotions and thoughts is not an element of being a slave...?? Particularly if done so respectfully.

quote:

He feels like I do have unresolved anger and is helping me work on it.

Or perhaps this part of your post explains it in that unresolved anger comes up and you lash out. This is different than the generalization your first sentence seemed to impy, which was that slaves do not express themselves.

Did I misunderstand?

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 77

RE: Anger?? - 4/16/2007 10:11:28 AM

sexyone4you

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

Let me clarify, by slave-wired I mean that my only responses to the Master I serve isn't "Yes, Sir," "No, Sir," Thank you, Sir," or "How do you want me to feel about that, Sir." A slave-wired slave would say these things. Everyone has feelings. I am open about mine, and I don't ask anyone else how I should feel about something. .I wasn't making a general statement about slaves at all, just pointing out two of the many differences in types of slaves.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 78

RE: Anger?? - 4/16/2007 10:38:03 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Anger has never had a place in my interactions, nor would i want it to. We're always going to have a degree of anger in our lives, but i've never had the desire to channel it through my BDSM activity.
I do enjoy a very high level of aggression, just not aggression thats fueled by anger.

I've read this thread a few times today & I agree with those that either choose not to use anger or don't like anger.
Going on year 7 with my dominant I can say that I have never been angry at him. Hurt, upset yes but not anger. It is something he has no interest in provoking and I have less than zero interest in playing with it.
Anger to me.. oh its hard to put into words.. anger means that something has gone very wrong. A line has been crossed and the only recourse is a negative emotion. I don't speak of the anger one can feel towards the IRS *smiles* but instead to anger within what is supposed to be a safe and trusted relationship. Anger is a serious emotion for me and not something to be toyed with. Possibly explored at some time (but only as a way to see why anger upsets me, not as a dynamic in a relationship nor as a test to see how I react) not toyed with.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 79

RE: Anger?? - 4/16/2007 12:04:43 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Anger has never had a place in my interactions, nor would i want it to. We're always going to have a degree of anger in our lives, but i've never had the desire to channel it through my BDSM activity.
I do enjoy a very high level of aggression, just not aggression thats fueled by anger.

I've read this thread a few times today & I agree with those that either choose not to use anger or don't like anger.
Going on year 7 with my dominant I can say that I have never been angry at him. Hurt, upset yes but not anger. It is something he has no interest in provoking and I have less than zero interest in playing with it.
Anger to me.. oh its hard to put into words.. anger means that something has gone very wrong. A line has been crossed and the only recourse is a negative emotion. I don't speak of the anger one can feel towards the IRS *smiles* but instead to anger within what is supposed to be a safe and trusted relationship. Anger is a serious emotion for me and not something to be toyed with. Possibly explored at some time (but only as a way to see why anger upsets me, not as a dynamic in a relationship nor as a test to see how I react) not toyed with.

Greeting cjenny,
You do make some very very valid points.

Anger is something I do not feel very often in day-to-day life and I totally agree it is a negative and can be a destructive emotion.

Also, you make a valid point of something that does not need to be toyed with. I agree.

I don't say what I am asking to feel is right or wrong...it's just a want to "feel"

Among play, with someone you trust, is a very safe and controlled environment to experience this in and to understand that part of my emotions.

Much better, in my opinion than going postal at a checkout line one day.

I am of the belief to learn all I can about myself including trigger points for future reference (if that makes sense).

(smiling)..please believe I am not becoming a pro-advocate of anger...don't want to be the poster child.

Perhaps curiosity will get me into trouble one day, but for now, living and learning.

I so appreciate your well-thought out response and did give me things to ponder and wonder.

~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 80

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