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RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 12:02:35 PM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

RA -- rheumatoid arthritis, (sp?) 


Ah, thanks.

If the pain is keeping her awake, then I'd suggest pain killers (although those might interfere with play) or sleep meds. It's way better than not sleeping, or having a screwed up sleep pattern. Particularly in the long term, as all of this might just be her starting to feel the effects of messed up sleep, rather than there being something seriously wrong.

A friend of mine is in the hospital for sleep deprivation now. He let it get to the point where they had to put him in a coma for his own safety. Irregular sleep isn't quite as bad, but it's not good, either.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 12:09:33 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		What i'd like to know is what is up with Scooter.  There just seems like something is going on or there is more to the story.  Scooter and the 3 of them are awesome people.  Scooter, Jewel, and Twice - all superably wonderful people.  i could go on and on about their good qualities and imo - they stand higher then the majority of people here.  Just seems so strange and out of charactor....  Unless he's going through something thats messing with him - there's got to be a good a reason.  People just dont go from being good people to a-holes with out a good reason.  Unless of course they were always a-holes and thats just not the case here.

i'm hoping that Scooter will get on and explain the mystery and solve the problem.  Or atleast solve the problem = )  i've got faith! 

::sits here patiently to wait for Scooter to come::


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 1:29:21 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

Since you mention an RA (resident assistant, I'm assuming, or dorm "supervisor" basically) I'm assuming you are at college, which means his behavior is not only fucking with you, it's fucking with your education.

You said i cannot believe my gentle natured Scooter would wreak such havoc on purpose. Sweetie, I hope you are right.


Dear Elorin, i read and appreciate this post. I was pretty much holding off commenting on any more posts until later in the day, but you actually gave me the giggles, a good thing today.
 
RA in my case stands for Rheumatoid Arthritis that i have had since i was seventeen. I live with Scooter and Jewel, we are on our second year together.
 

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 1:32:59 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		See, we all use abbreviations differently. ~LOL~ Thank you for correcting me.
~E

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 2:02:56 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		awwwwww twice....hugssssss......you know I love ya and if you need to talk you know where I am.

I might be waaaaayyyyyyy off base here but knowing you all as I do and having seen you interact I am going to take a stab at this.

First off.....you are right....you do turn "ON" faster than anyone I have ever witnessed. I have seen Scooter walk through the house on his way from the garage to get a screwdriver and reach out and grab a nipple in passing and leave you in an incomprehensible stupor that renders you incapable of speech or thought for 15 minutes....lol....you're such a hussy <weg>. I also know that He takes great delight in your reactions and his ability to induce them. I don't think that in doing these things he is attempting to initiate any indepth intimacy....or cause you any real distress.....just kind of his little way of connecting with you throughout the day and amid distractions. Maybe even though you have tried to relate to him the "big picture" he just doesn't connect the two. I think that some further communication is definitely in order and knowing you all as I do I can't imagine that he would be opposed to an indepth, sit down, "you have got to listen to me now because you are driving me freaking insane talk". Now as I said.....I might be way, way off and these types of encounters may not be at all what you are referring to. If that's the case and you need a shoulder....I'm only one ring away!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 2:27:13 PM   
whisperedsighs


Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
 
By that I mean I go from zero to ready now in about.5 seconds or less. It is very easy for him to tease me, to have me screaming and clawing the floors takes minutes if that.
 
Here is the problem, lately he takes me to the screaming point then drops me cold, no release. Ok, a few weeks of this can be fun, truthfully I love it, but it has been going on since February.
 
I am not one of those who needs any aftercare, quite the opposite, leave me be in my puddle alone. Nor have I ever suffered sub drop in any form ever. 


How is he playing with you / reving you up?  Is it sexually and he is not letting you cum?  or is it pain play and he is stopping right in the middle of it? 

If it is sexually, maybe he is teaching you that only he has the power to make you cum, and it is only through is permission that you do so?  If it is pain play, I am not sure why someone would do that.

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oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 2:29:53 PM   
Twicehappy2x


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Joined: 3/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

First off.....you are right....you do turn "ON" faster than anyone I have ever witnessed. I have seen Scooter walk through the house on his way from the garage to get a screwdriver and reach out and grab a nipple in passing and leave you in an incomprehensible stupor that renders you incapable of speech or thought for 15 minutes....lol....you're such a hussy <weg>.


So true....Ok i art a slut for him anyhow.....
 
But it is not the little teases, it is the taking me to the brink and stopping, or going on to have me blow him (OK, OK, i am addicted to that but you have seen his parts, just gorgeous) and leaving me cold.
 
This has been on ongoing issue since i have been here, the first time it was a few weeks, then longer, then longer. The problem is i am finally to the point where i am no longer coming back from it. 
 
Big hugs and i might just call  later or tomm, got to go jump in the shower now that i am cooled off from the hot tub.

< Message edited by Twicehappy2x -- 4/20/2007 3:20:48 PM >

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 2:34:05 PM   
mistoferin


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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
got to go jump in the shower now that i am cooled off from the hot tub.


Ouch....ok, now I'm jealous. Will look forward to hearing from you.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 3:20:07 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		Figured i better add a comment to Scooter here;
 
Master mine, i love you, i love you crazy.
 
You can get mad after you read this thread or you can take it for what it is; a desperate last ditch effort to get you to hear me, to give you a chance to hear from others who have went through this. To get a grasp on what is happening here.
 
I do not want to lose you, i do not want you to feel guilty, i want this fixed, i want you period.
 
If my entire body/brain did not sigh in recognition of "Master" when i look at you, when i catch your scent, when i hear you, none of this would have become a problem. 
 
I love you, i am your slave, 2x.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 3:39:17 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

The executive summary is: your analysis of the chemistry involved is incorrect, IMO, and he shouldn't act this way.

I never said that they were correct, again, I made sure to say it was a simple opinon and an option to look into.  It isnt something either of us can say either way not being medical professionals.  In counselling, you take the information given to you and then you refere to the GP or Psych for further information.  That was simply which is being done.
Knowing twice and Scooter via the boards, I have always gained the impression that they work on their relationship very hard, and all options are worth looking into - even if that means them mentioning this to their doctor or clinical psych.  How Scooter may or may not act isn't for us to actually know or say he shouldn't, we simply surmise and offer options to think about.  I stand by my explaination and although I have not gone into it in great depth, I know that twice is the kind of person to contact if she finds info necessary - she is a bright and articulate woman - even when she is love.
 
quote:

Yes, hence I suggest we stay away from a chemical analysis, and stick to the simple facts: he's treating her in a way that is incompatible with her sustained mental health, and unless he wants her mental health to deteriorate, he needs to deal with it.

As I explained, I wrote because I was asked by D.  It is just another option.  I know that it is automatic to jump on peoples backs when people see that dominants may not be treating submissives 'according to the law' however, as far as I have ever read, their relationship has always been strong and constructive so I am looking from a different viewpoint, of not judging purely on the good vs. bad - but on what may be behind such behaviour from a medical as well as a mental POV.
 
And the whole quote thing sucks sometimes... but then in others it is a good thing!
I wish you many blessings.
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Aswad)
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RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/20/2007 6:15:16 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

If your Master wants to treat you in a way that makes you depressed and unable to cope, he needs to expect you to collapse, or get you on medication that will counteract the effects of what he does. Anything else isn't just doing what you like, which I'm okay with, it's denying reality.

For all I care, a Master can pump his slave full of antipsychotics and benzos until she's nothing but a human robot, but he cannot expect her to function in a way that her brain will not permit.

Or, rather, he can expect anything, of course, but it'd be like expecting the moon to start orbiting backwards because you're unhappy about the tides. There are words to describe that kind of mental wiring, and I doubt I need to name them here.


I'm not going to ruin Twice's very legitimate and sincere thread by debating whether or not my Master expects reality from me or not.  I will simply say he pushes me to what I am capable of, even if I don't know I am capable at the time.   One might be amazed at what one is capable of learning to overcome.

Twice, I do wish you well with this.  I go through similar challenges at times and I think I understand some of the difficulties you are speaking of.

(in reply to Aswad)
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RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 1:24:16 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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quote:

Have you spoke to Jewel about this?  Whats she say? 


Not until yesterday afternoon. Not until she had first sought the advice of everyone else. What did I say? I completely understood and promised to talk to Scooter and make him understand. Of course, that could have happened a long time ago had I known then too. I did explain it, and he does understand now. Erin nailed it, but she knows us. Scooter takes joy in teasing and seeing that reaction, never in anything he has ever done has he been intentionally cruel. He is the kindest, most understanding, generous, giving and loving man I have ever known. 
 
And lil riot, you know we adore you but Scooter won't be posting to this thread, I seriously doubt that he'll even be reading it. She is going to have to talk to him face to face, I'm sorry, but the occasional "You need to stop doing that" Or "This is making me crazy" does not constitute a conversation. Yes, as dominants it's our responsibility to try and fix these kinds of problems, but we can only fix what we understand to be broken and this is no way to find that out, is it?
 
Personally, I was absolutely devastated when I read this thread yesterday morning. I never heard a word about it until that moment. I cried, I'm still crying over it. I feel very cheated. Him and I both have been trying to figure out what's wrong with no input at all, I have seen him ask repeatedly what was wrong and all we got was pushed away. Instead of answers we got accusations. Yes, the communication level in this house needs to be improved upon. Hopefully now she'll read this and understand that. I've told Scooter about this thread and I don't want him to be as hurt by it as I was, and he would be. Some of you people think about that for a bit, then put yourself in our shoes and you'll understand why you won't be hearing from me for a very long time, if ever again. For once you truly get to see both sides of the story.
 
And erin, thank you for being there, you know we love you.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 4:37:57 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		It would be shame not to hear from you again here, Jewel.

I've created situations with M where I am a maelstrom of feelings and haven't communicated them in any rational, sensible way, half expecting him to just *know* where I'm coming from and felt hurt that he couldn't just see it. I'm just too caught up in myself to see clearly what I'm doing.

The very best of relationships have crappy times. I know that if I was driven to post here about one of those times, I'd really be distressed, even if it was of my own making......and I know, too, that I'd regret posting.

I wish you all well.

agirl

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 6:30:55 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Knowing twice and Scooter via the boards, I have always gained the impression that they work on their relationship very hard, and all options are worth looking into - even if that means them mentioning this to their doctor or clinical psych.

Definitely, if she has a problem that doesn't go away, I'd talk to a psychiatrist, preferrably a KAP. I was just correcting some errors in your explanation, in case she was one of the people who would take it as-is, without discussing it with her doc; I don't know her, so I figured caution would be best.

Note also that I, being new to the board and not knowing twice and Scooter, was just commenting more generally that it needs to be dealt with, that if he'd gotten the message but ignored it that would be bad, and that the chemistry involved is only relevant on her side (where it can be dealt with if this is a big problem).

I see from the later posts that things haven't been properly explained to him, which changes the picture dramatically and kind of defuses the issue.

quote:

How Scooter may or may not act isn't for us to actually know or say he shouldn't, we simply surmise and offer options to think about.


True. Just responding to the thread. And I wasn't trying to say he couldn't do this, just that there are consequences to doing so, which Jewel will now apparently help explain to him.
 
quote:

I know that it is automatic to jump on peoples backs when people see that dominants may not be treating submissives 'according to the law'


Yeah, I know. And I'm sorry if I came across as doing that. It's my kink too.

NB.: In various jurisdictions, the law does not acknowledge consent, partly because some rights are considered "inalienable", which is the same as saying those rights are arbitrarily limited by some ethics comittee. Personally, I'm in Norway, where you can give prior consent to a session, and the worst they can charge you with in a D/s relationship with a signed and witnessed contract is usually negligence. I'm working on assembling a network of KAPs (psychs and lawyers) to work out a contract that will, hopefully, resolve the legal issue, and getting a couple to test it in court.

quote:

however, as far as I have ever read, their relationship has always been strong and constructive so I am looking from a different viewpoint, of not judging purely on the good vs. bad - but on what may be behind such behaviour from a medical as well as a mental POV.


I'm glad to hear that. And I don't go for the whole "good vs bad" thing. The medical POV was off, though, IMO.
 
quote:

And the whole quote thing sucks sometimes... but then in others it is a good thing!


Yeah, I screwed up the end-quotes, and then I got logged out somehow, so I couldn't edit my post to fix it. I have a tendency to mess up the quotes when people use odd fonts or colors or such, because I end up copy-pasting the quote tag in regular fonts (since I hate writing in all-italics, odd colors, etc.) and sometimes forgetting to change some of the tags to end-quotes.

That, and I have a tendency to write /quite when I mean /quote. I don't know why, it started after I for some reason used that word a lot on a Gorean forum thread.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 6:32:10 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I will simply say he pushes me to what I am capable of, even if I don't know I am capable at the time.   One might be amazed at what one is capable of learning to overcome.


Definitely. A good Master knows what he can expect, IMO, and the slave might not always realize what she's capable of.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 6:33:25 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Nice to hear this was just a misunderstanding / lack of communication.

Best wishes to you all,
Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 6:51:57 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Me? I'd rather end it early enough that I won't be left depressed afterwards. Because eventually this situationally caused depression will turn into the real thing, if it hasn't already. And one side effect of antidepressants is decreased libido.


Decreased libido is a side-effect of serotonergic antidepressants, like SSRIs. And, really, who cares about decreased libido?

Seriously, major depression entails ~15% chance of successfully committing suicide and 100% chance of basically zero quality of life for anywhere from a couple of months to the rest of your life.

And there are other, more long-term, side-effects to the meds I'd worry more about, like osteoporosis, cognitive and memory impairments, etc... That's for the same ones that adversely affect libido.



The reason I pointed out the sexual dysfunction side effects of the SSRI's is that if she goes on them, then he won't be able to do this to her, he won't get any arousal out of her. And she should point that out to him that if he wants her to be able to get aroused, then he needs to stop doing something that is going to end and shortly with her taking a medication that prevents arousal. He needs to see the consequences of his actions and realize that this is going to stop either through his actions, or her actions or her doctor's.

And I wonder how someone can be so perfect when they don't care about deliberately destroying someone's love, trust and mental stability.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 6:52:48 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		The entirety of this thread has really saddened me and given me food for thought.

I think that anyone that has been around these forum boards for any length of time and gotten to know the personalities behind the screen names can learn alot.

Let me explain.....

Had this thread been started by, and about, individuals I knew nothing about, I would have had a very different initial reaction. I would have been quick to jump to a conclusion and perhaps been inclined to spout off some "words of wisdom" (questionable on the wisdom) and also as quick to defend my point of view. The difference in this case being that I feel I have come to know Jewel 2X and Scooter and my reaction yesterday was just one of puzzlement. I felt I needed "the rest of the story" to get a grasp of how I should feel and react. I was upset at the negative feedback because it just didn't fit with what I knew. Erin's comment felt more "right" to be because I know she has spent personal time with the people involved. Something I feel is vital in really knowing anyone from here. Jewel's post just made me want to cry at the pain I am sure all three people, people I have come to like and care about, are feeling. Knowing that their home is probably suffering at this very moment.

This got me to thinking a bit. I refrained from setting my mind on a point of view because my initial reaction did not fit with what I felt I knew of the people involved. I felt that a few that replied felt similarly for the same reasons. Others have not had the luxury of time spent on these forums to gain an insight into the people so quickly jumped to a different conclusion. Here is my point ("Thank god!!" you say.) I now wonder, how often someone writes here with similar distress, giving a distorted point of view, and then getting feedback that is incorrect because of that distortion.

Yes, I know that we are all responsible for our own shit. I am the first to say "if you put it out here don't bitch about the feedback you get wether you like it or not!" After all, the readers and those that reply can only give an opinion based upon their interpretation of what they are reading.

Soooo, I am thinking that to assume what we perceive when we read something is dead on, is a big mistake. On the flip side, for anyone getting the feedback to take it as gospel, or to take it personally and get upset, an even bigger mistake.

This leads me to think that my personal style of keeping my private life private, not bringing my shit online for mass consumption, is not a bad idea.

I hope my Saturday morning brain ramblings make some sort of sense to anyone that cares to read them.

Much love to 2x, Jewel and Scooter. I have every faith that this rough patch in the road will be worked thru. Please don't let it keep you from here. I would miss you.

LeeAnn

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/21/2007 6:56:20 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 7:08:03 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43
And I wonder how someone can be so perfect when they don't care about deliberately destroying someone's love, trust and mental stability.


Forgive me but.......you don't know the people involved and that comment is far, far from truth.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Anti sub drop? - 4/21/2007 7:08:18 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

This got me to thinking a bit. I refrained from setting my mind on a point of view because my initial reaction did not fit with what I felt I knew of the people involved. I felt that a few that replied felt similarly for the same reasons. Others have not had the luxury of time spent on these forums to gain an insight into the people so quickly jumped to a different conclusion. Here is my point ("Thank god!!" you say.) I now wonder, how often someone writes here with similar distress, giving a distorted point of view, and then getting feedback that is incorrect because of that distortion.

LeeAnn


i think part of the issue comes from the simple truth that truth is what he said, what she said, and what really happened.  we all color our perspective about whats going on simply by viewing the event from a different vantage point.

i know in my own relationships, communication continues to be an issue.  its harder because my vanilla husband wont talk to me about certain things, i have neurological issues that cause me to either forget the words i need, or simply forget to say anything whatsoever, and DaddySir has to be on me constantly to tell him whats rattling around in my head trying to smash the pea.  *smiles depreciatingly*

one of the key things we say to one another is "if i dont know whats broke, how can i fix it?"  and that goes for all three of us.

kitten, who knows damned well she's a difficult handful at times.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 60
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