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RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 5:00:01 AM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

Fast Reply.

It was my choice to write my profile the way I did (although I did change it recently to sound a little friendlier). Before I had my profile the way it is, there were D and M types messaging me all the time even though I clearly stated that I was owned. It was disrespectful unwanted come-hither. Friendly messages from anyone are welcome at all times, but "I can Master you better than He can, come look at my great big cock!" is just plain ridiculous, and heaven knows my life is full enough of its own ridiculous moments without inviting more.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to subsfaith)

Post #: 21

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 5:28:42 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

I don't find it courageous nor pathetic, but I do find it a little silly. Considering there are good mail filters here to start with and secondly you can see whether a dom or sub, male or female is sending you the mail, and you can choose whether to delete the message unread or whether you reply to it at all, that makes in my opinion statements like these totally unnecessary and just comes out as someone on a cyberpowertrip.

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 22

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 5:39:12 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis

. At play parties and such too , a Dominant does not approach someone elses property unless they talk to the Master/Owner first. At least that is what i have seen.

Bingo! If other dominants were to approach someone elses submissive at a party or club then they would soon get a reputation and not a good one.
People talk about protocol and how it’s a load of bollocks but this bit of protocol I happen to agree with.

(in reply to OnlyHis)

Post #: 23

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 6:55:36 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis

. At play parties and such too , a Dominant does not approach someone elses property unless they talk to the Master/Owner first. At least that is what i have seen.

Bingo! If other dominants were to approach someone elses submissive at a party or club then they would soon get a reputation and not a good one.
People talk about protocol and how it’s a load of bollocks but this bit of protocol I happen to agree with.

I've never heard of that actually. Certainly I've been approached at play parties and nobody thought any less of them for it. If I was interested in a scene, I accepted. If I wasn't, I didn't. I follow the guidelines Valyraen put in place, and he couldn't care less.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 24

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 7:39:01 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

I find it can be pathetic if it's done for paranoid reasons, or to create drama, where the couple basically goes online in order to play "Now I've Got You, You SOB" to anyone who makes the mistake of greeting the sub in question.

Other times it's done simply for control, like choosing the sub's clothing for example, there is no reason except they enjoy this aspect of power exchange (oops I'm making myself wet thinking about it).

Last reason I can think of is that maybe the sub is having a lot of difficulties in her life, and getting approached by other doms is not what she needs right then, and this is her Master's way of giving her a measure of protection. Some people can't handle having to tell persistent Doms that they don't want to talk to them, and having a restriction like this makes it much easier, they can say "I'm not allowed to" instead of trying to socialize their way out of a bad situation. Sometimes it's the sub who has begged her Master to place this restriction on her because someone has been harrassing her.

I gather from your post that you meant the first category?

I agree with most of your post girlscout, but i do wonder why these submissives feel that they "have to socialize their way out of a bad situation" this is a web site, it's far too easy to ignore, delete...etc...etc. I'm not in a relationship, nor am i looking for one. (introspection time). For those reasons, i made my profile to be such as to discourage random emails. However, i did want a profile to maintain the ability exchange the occasional email with some forum aquaintances. Some do ignore the implications of my profile, but...because i clearly state i'm not looking, then any rules of conduct that may apply are null and void. The person who sends the innapropriate , unsolicited...etc email has negated the need for courtesy by showing none.
As for the need of "protection" , right or wrong, i will never understand this need online. I've only been online for maybe the last 10 years. I've met many....i've not met many that i may have wanted to meet, and i've been annoyed by even more, in all of that, i've never once felt the need for "protection".

Annabelle, MsC, and Viridana, i also think your posts reflect my thoughts as well.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 25

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 7:42:00 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

How many times have you read profiles where the subbie threatens any one who talks to them without first asking request from the DOM or the dom saying no ONE can talk to MY subbie without permission?

How pathetic do you think this is?
How courageous do you think this is?

Greetings

I don't judge it one way or another. If another wishes to live by this rule, that is their choice and should be left to it.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 26

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 7:46:42 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Online I think it is utter bullshit 90% of the time. Any woman who can't deal with deleting unwanted email and or dealing with me is by definition a woman I have no interest in as eitheir friends or lovers.

In real life, I behave much differently. I was at a party recently where there was a woman some friends had been trying to introduce me to for some time. At the party she had come with someone, the fact I have known him for some time didn't help although I hope my response would have been the same. My friends asked her to double check at my insistence that she had come on her own. I STILL talked to the guy to see if he felt he was still trying because I am not about to waltz up and steal a woman away from a guy at a party, that is just fucked up. I know when I was younger what that felt like and I would never do it to another. Means I went home alone but my honor went with me.

But online, it is for people who live to be indignant, who need reasons they are better than others, etc. Drama, drama, drama.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 27

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 7:50:01 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't think anything about it, I just bypass their profile and go onto the next one.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 28

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 7:51:56 AM

leili

Posts: 49
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

i personally do not see this as either pathetic or courageous. i do not know their reasons behind it so i really cannot say. all i can say is that my mail is open to all...and some people will say, if you are owned, why are you on? well because this is a poly house and right now i am the only one in it! i would love to talk to other submissives that are interested in the Hanian Household. But maybe they don't trust their subs? I don't know. uh...if they don't trust them then i guess they just simply should be on here? lol trust is the first thing that comes in any relationship so i do not see how that would work either. okay pretty much i still haven't answered the question and i'm still just rambling on about nothing. lol..good luck with this one!

(in reply to subsfaith)

Post #: 29

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 8:10:47 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

Seems to be many subs that advertise as "seeking dominant men", yet are already taken. Please, if that is the case, then change what you are here for and quit wasting the time/effort of doms that seek. It just takes a simple click of a button on your profile. There are just as many "subs" that play games or are wannabees, as doms. If they're not truly seeking then they shouldn't advertise as such hmmm? Bad enough that the double standard that applies in the vanilla world also applies here. A bit strange when I type in a search for submissive women seeking dominant men, then in the profile it says "taken" or "not interested in contact from men at this time". Quit the games already. I, for one, am not likely to contact a sub that lists as owned.

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 30

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 8:25:58 AM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

I agree with most of your post girlscout, but i do wonder why these submissives feel that they "have to socialize their way out of a bad situation" this is a web site, it's far too easy to ignore, delete...etc...etc. As for the need of "protection" , right or wrong, i will never understand this need online. I've only been online for maybe the last 10 years. I've met many....i've not met many that i may have wanted to meet, and i've been annoyed by even more, in all of that, i've never once felt the need for "protection".

Hi spankmepink,
I know it might seem preposterous for most people to need protection online or someone speaking for them, but some of us go through times where we aren't feeling we can do these things on our own. We might be grieving, we might have emotional problems, we might have disabilities (I was born autistic for example, and this disability strikes hardest at social skills). This always causes certain people to chorus "then you shouldn't be online!" but, considering the fact that online may in fact become the only social outlet available for people with these problems, that is cruel. Thank goodness you've been able to fend for yourself in the entire 10 years you've been online. I, on the other hand, am 90% able to fend for myself but am not able to when I'm overwhelmed by other social problems in my life. I'll forever be grateful to my mentor and my master for taking care of me at the times when it's too much for me to do it on my own. I don't mean that I condone silly dramas in which a sub is obviously capable of speaking for herself but has a man come running to type madly at anyone who happens to disagree with her. I hate that. But I also understand first-hand what it's like to have someone's online words cut to the bone and cripple ones' ability to function normally.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 31

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 9:13:14 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Thank you for sharing that bit of yourself Girlscout, that was very open and brave. Don't feel too badly. A large part of my own reaction, since we're sharing here, is due to the fact that from earliest childhood on, i never had anyones protection from anything. I think this has caused me to erect huge emotional walls that not only affect my abilities to nurture a relationship, but to feel empathy for others in certain circumstances as well.

Thanks for giving me something new to ponder on the subject.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 32

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 9:18:19 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I understand it's your opinion. You are opining that someone who may be doing someone else precisely what they need is extremely pathetic, chest thumping and ape-like behavior. I see that often here, where opinions by outsiders are expressed having no idea what goes on in the relationship they are so adamantly judging. It's a pet peeve of mine. I happened to use your post to express it.

There was a time my ape-like Master put that rule on me. There were very personal reasons for it, and my gratitude was such that no one but him understood.

I think that many people are narrow minded and small. It gives them pleasure to find superiority in stupid things.... It is a rather shallow thing to judge others based upon the tip of the iceberg so-to-speak. If it makes them feel good to do so, I just smile and nod. All that is important to me is that our dynamic suits our needs, and we are happy, other opinions about that do not matter to him... why should they matter to me?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 33

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 9:28:40 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

It is a rather shallow thing to judge others based upon the tip of the iceberg so-to-speak.

I like that. Can I use it?

And you are right; it shouldn't matter. It doesn't so much anymore, except sometimes it comes from the most surprising places,. There was a time in my life when it did matter...too much. I suppose I reflect on that when I see people doing it to others. But the more solid I became in who I am, the less it meant to me when people did that to me personally.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 34

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 9:42:15 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You can use it if you like.... I liked this part better

quote:

I think that many people are narrow minded and small. It gives them pleasure to find superiority in stupid things

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 35

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 10:08:57 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Quite honestly.........who cares?

Whatever floats their boat.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 36

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 10:31:09 AM

longtimemuse

Posts: 15
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

"And why would a Dom let his or her sub be online anyway if no-one can talk to him or her?

Maybe catching up with friends (or their Dom if its a LDR), but probably pimping for their Dominant. Best to avoid them. "

I find this statement to be heavy on the "over generalization" scale. Many people have many reasons for allowing or not allowing contact on this or other sites. One such possible reason is that they( the Master/slave) couple have seen the drama or missunderstanding that can and often does develope from online communications with other Doms/subs. There can be none of this confusion/misunderstanding/suspect...if any or all online communications are monitored or the Dominant is asked for permission before another Dominant is answered. In my situation, I ask for permission out of respect and to make sure my Master (who has had the unfortunate past experience of his past play partner going behind his back online) knows that I am totally transparent with him. He does the same for me.

Some are "allowed" online for purely "educational" reasons...to read and see what other people think/feel about this lifestyle...for those people... online communication would be of very little import in establishing relationship with others via emails or PM. Just to read and ask questions on the formum is the interest...without having to respond to messages from other Dominants (who see the profile saying that we are a MONOGAMOUS couple) or submissives (who also see the profile Yelling MONOGAMOUS) and ask stupid things like Are you interested in being my second/third/fourth....Master or Slave.

So....it its neither Courageous nor pathetic.....it is Preference.... Simple

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 37

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 11:40:58 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Neither. Does it really matter? If for some reason I really wanted to talk to a particular submissive, I wouldn't mind going through her Dominant.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to longtimemuse)

Post #: 38

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 11:51:50 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I don't think it is either pathetic or courageous. It is not my relationship therefor it is simply, none of my business.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 39

RE: pathetic or courageous ?? - 4/21/2007 6:20:28 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

I'm with the who cares crowd. Why bother to have an opinion about this rather innocuous behavior which may work for someone else for whatever reason? It's not my way but I can share the world with those who aren't like me.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 40

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