Aswad
Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I’ve been pondering this thought for some time, and the “Anti sub drop” thread finally provoked me enough to write about it.
Thank you for an interesting thread. :)
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In the other thread, some folks actually admitted had they not known the OP better, they would have advised differently.
I would be one of those, I'm afraid. 
I believe I apologized for the inappropriate advice as well.
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I wonder if, and I truly hope, we can all think twice before screaming “abuse!” at someone, or before we tell a slave her Master doesn’t care about her, or before we accuse someone of “chest thumping” and acting ape-like (as said in yet another thread last night) for managing his slave the way he sees is best, simply because we don’t understand that form of management.
In general, I try to assume the OP is describing things correctly, and that particular OP indicated something that would have become a serious problem for her if left unresolved, and that she'd discussed it in plain terms to no effect. In that specific case, however, her idea of "plain terms" did not include conveying what was causing the problem, so it wasn't an issue of management style, just her responding in an unexpected way to something and not explaining to him what that something was, while he actually wanted to deal with it.
I sometimes see management styles I don't see as conductive to the stated goals of the Dom/Master, but I don't object to that. I object to breaking agreed-upon terms of consent, and sometimes point out when I think something could be dealt with in a different way.
If an OP asks for help, I don't usually try to judge whether they're posting a lot of "drama", as someone put it in the thread you mentioned. I have to assume they're grown up enough not to do that, and that they have a serious problem that they'd like some help with. Whether they're the dominant party or the submissive party doesn't matter; they're members of this community.
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I never thought I would post a "rant" on these boards, but one of the reasons I held off writing this thread is because there really isn’t a question to ask here.
I think there are questions to ask, but they're not likely to be answered. They involve communication, context, reference terminology, etc. for the most part.
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How about – can we simply be more aware and thoughtful, that what is right for us is not necessarily the right way for others? We say that all the time, but our reactions to people really show otherwise.
Not everyone here is okay with what everyone else does, or accepts that they cannot judge what is right for others by what is right for themselves, unfortunately, and I wouldn't expect their reactions to be in line with a different POV. People only have their own experiences by which to judge what is being said.
That said, I'm okay with whatever all parties have agreed to. My comments on the other thread were, as noted, based on incorrect assumptions that were, in turn, based on the OP, which is all I had to go on, as I didn't know the people.
There are several thousand people on this board, so knowing every one of them personally is unrealistic, which is why it's vitally important for an OP to include enough context for the issue they want to discuss.
Just my guilty 2 cents.
_____________________________
"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.
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RE: I know better than your Master does - 
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