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Do submissives only submit to what they like and what i... - 4/22/2007 8:23:28 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Hello ladies, I have a question for you. I have always thought that over all
Most Mistresses/Dominants/Domina’s are not as “hard” on submissives as many of the
male Dominants.
Be that as it may, I was curious so I must ask this question.
Do your submissive’s only submit to what they like or want?
What about issues like cleaning, major decisions, weight control, exercise?
And the parts of life that are not a lot of “fun"?
Especially for those of you that are in a serious relationship/or partner with your submissive.
I am not asking this question to be judgmental, just to give us some dialogue
and reflection.
The submissive I am talking to is in the doghouse {AGAIN}, because he did
Not follow my instructions on a simple matter.
IF he begs and pleads he will get out of the doghouse, but he will think twice
before he disobeys a small but serious request.
I tend to be a bit “hard” I guess, I want him to submit/learn to do things that
go beyond BDSM, because there is more to life for me, than BDSM.
I seek to control behavior beyond the bedroom and "play" time.
Do your submissives only submit to what they like or want?
Do you control areas of your submissives life OUTSIDE of the BDSM realm?
Thanks in advance

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

Post #: 1

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:26:51 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

No.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 2

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:29:39 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

LOL that is why I like you, you are a good puppy!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 3

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:30:53 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Glad to see we can be friends again.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 4

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:39:02 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Dang I forgot, you are in the doghouse with me.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 5

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:39:48 PM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

might I answer ?
sometimes obeying (I think you like the word submitting) is hard.... really hard.....
but if I trust him with who I am and that he wants the best for me...
I obey..joyfully

and one of his biggest things for me is eating properly, my health and a proper amount of sleep every night.
Believe it or not...going to bed IS VERY difficult for me... so I call him before I go to bed and then I GO to bed.

and no...I think domme's are harder on submissives than doms are.... just from the real life ones I know... but that is not a scientific study LOL

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 6

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:39:58 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Oh well, I tried.

Back to business as usual.

Your turn.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 7

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:43:48 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I am extending the olive branch, I will put it on the ground,
and I can kick you in the arse as you pick it up.
That will make me smile and all will be okay between us.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 8

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:44:28 PM

HarleyKitty69

Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline

I never had a dom or domme ( and don't think I ever will have the later) so I am not qualified to answer that I think
HOWEVER I do think since I am leaning towards becoming a service sub that all orders or wishes should be obeyed ..
well thats my 2 sense anyway

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide

.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 9

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:45:09 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I suppose that's fair enough.

Consider it done.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 10

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:46:31 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Humm thank you myobedience, we need a scientific study!
You sound like a wonderful submissive!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 11

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:47:55 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

I suppose that's fair enough.

Consider it done.

Good, I just pictured myself doing it, and I got a little thrill going!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 12

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:54:30 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I may be knocked out of the running on this particular issue, as My main relationship focus is with My husband, rather than any submissive that I would take. Hopefully, My input will still have some relevance.

I believe that, in the beginning of any dynamic, there is a feeling out period. I am not saying this is a bad thing, but a sense of testing boundries. From My experience, this is the time where a submissive is more likely than not to enforce their safeword, to ensure that it will be respected, and maybe a bit of pushing on the Dom/Domme's part to see what kind of authority They have. A bit childish, perhaps, but it's been known to happen.

Like You, Mia, I seek control. In that premise, comes the idea of integrity. I was always taught that integrity is the character of one, no matter who else is looking. I use this general guideline with My submissives, to gage their behavior. What they do when they don't believe I am watching will usually tell Me what I can expect.

A good example of this is an old exercise that I have been known to give a submissive of Mine. The situation goes something like this....... He was granted permission to attend a get together of some like minded people out of the area. Before leaving, he was given instructions to greet others "from his Mistress" who I would like to have wished well in My absence. At the function, he did not know who I would know (or on what level) or who wouldn't have any idea I existed. After the party, I checked on the results to ensure he had sent My greetings. I got back reports of the wording and mannerisms of what happened at the event. It gives Me a hint as to how thoroughly one will follow instruction when I am not there.

I hope this applies to your question...... As always, best wishes to you.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 13

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 8:58:28 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Thank you for sharing Lady Impact!
I love the scenario you told us about, what a great idea!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 9:04:19 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Well I guess it depends on what one signs up for. With Daddy I don't have a whole lot of rules. He leads, I follow. Some things are easier and some are harder. The harder ones make me wet. But that's how I'm wired.

I can't imagine being very rule focused with a malesub. I'd expect him to follow through because he said he would. Period. I can not imagine being with someone who couldn't/wouldn't do so. That's pretty bottom line for me. Without punishment. Without threats. Just because he gave his word and that means a lot to him -- whether the task is hard or easy. On the other hand shit happens and things need to be rethought. That's real life. My expectation is that he will try his best. Because he said he would. Because he chose to do this with me. For me simple.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 15

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 9:10:50 PM

HutchGarahl

Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

Mornin MzMia,
I have always made a point before taking on any sub/slave that coming under me would require that I had full control over everything, no matter what, in and out of the home. I have had some who have tried to sway from certain things...but soon find it is not in their best interest...so to speak.

I have a certain schedule and routine I go by on a daily basis which includes exercise, certain foods on what to eat or what not to eat and I expect the same from my wards. I have them follow the same routine and scheduling as myself. Certain things in the home are to be done at certain times such as chores....there's tv time, quiet time, bed times and what not and yes...my wards are to follow.

When i'm not going to be home or if they are let out to do something on their own...they have a certain criteria to follow. Yes, some have ventured off without thinking and others follow to the letter. Those who do not follow rules are delt with accordingly. I'm not mean....just a bit harsh.

Begging and pleading would only result in a harsher punishment as I don't tolerate beggers. Usually what I do is after the initial punishment is handed...I have them sit in a room alone and write an essay as to what they did wrong, why they did it and how they can improve themself in order not to let it happen again. Usually it only has to happen once or twice...but there have been a few real hard nosers.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 16

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 9:14:28 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Thanks for sharing Arayofsunshine.

Hutch! I love the control that you have. I also enjoy having them write essays,
especially for a first time offense. I am assuming that those that continue to disobey
are dismissed?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to HutchGarahl)

Post #: 17

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 10:01:09 PM

HutchGarahl

Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

Thank you MzMia.

Yes...continued disobedience results in dismissal. I do however try to help the sub/slave in finding a new master/mistress, but am not always able to do so. Which is one reason why I take control of their finances as well.

My having control of their finances insure that bills are paid, monthly neccessities are bought, allowences for good behavior, money for emergencies is there and money to be able to fend for themselves if I am unable to find a suitable replacement.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 18

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 10:12:03 PM

pollux

Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

I don't have much to add... but I wanted to thank joyinslavery for the great quote in his signature. It leads to a great essay by Bertrand Russell I never would've known about otherwise. Thanks!

Sorry for the interruption...

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 19

RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and wh... - 4/22/2007 10:36:29 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

I don't have much to add... but I wanted to thank joyinslavery for the great quote in his signature. It leads to a great essay by Bertrand Russell I never would've known about otherwise. Thanks!

Sorry for the interruption...

Thanks brother. That's nice of you to say.

Contact me on the other side if you'd like info. on him and/or the book I pulled it from. I've always liked him. He's a great mind and a great read regardless if you believe all, part, or nothing.

Best of luck to you!

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to pollux)

Post #: 20

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