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Searching question. - 4/30/2005 12:07:12 PM   
dprsub


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		While I have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for my Dominant (unfortunately, I don't have one yet), I can't help much when it comes to sex...
How can I try to find someone who would feel similarly, or at least not be disappointed with my restriction?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 2:15:23 PM   
simplemaleslave


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline 		dpr, you just have to be honest when speaking with a Domme about your restriction.

even if you have a bad knee, I know its bad annalogy, you have to be honest with her about.

Some Domme's simply have no desire for sexual intercourse with a sub, and provided you have other talents, touch, oral, ect. you will find your match.

be patient, be honest, and keep your bearings.

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 2:28:18 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

While I have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for my Dominant (unfortunately, I don't have one yet), I can't help much when it comes to sex...
How can I try to find someone who would feel similarly, or at least not be disappointed with my restriction?


Don't you have almost the same exact thread in the general BDSM forum????

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 2:30:03 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, he does, it can be found here:

Extremely weird question...

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 2:33:18 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, even though same thread, I didn't respond on the other one, but in this forum I will bite. In the other thread, you could not perform sexually at all. The question was posed to you that a Domme may still be happy with you if you were a service oriented sub. You stated you were not good at that either, and had no strong suits in that area either. So, let me pose the question that you never answered on the other forum. You were advised to tell a Domme what you could do to please HER. All I saw was the items that you were interested in. What is it that you offer a potential Domme??? What is there about you that would want to interest her in you??

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 2:35:24 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I didn't bite on that one, but I did on this one.(You know, siamsa, you told me all that good stuff about the links, and I didn't even think about doing it, smiles)

(in reply to siamsa24)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 2:42:29 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

Ok, even though same thread, I didn't respond on the other one, but in this forum I will bite. In the other thread, you could not perform sexually at all. The question was posed to you that a Domme may still be happy with you if you were a service oriented sub. You stated you were not good at that either, and had no strong suits in that area either. So, let me pose the question that you never answered on the other forum. You were advised to tell a Domme what you could do to please HER. All I saw was the items that you were interested in. What is it that you offer a potential Domme??? What is there about you that would want to interest her in you??


I'm quite interested in the answer to this too!

My advice would be to be patient, be honest and improve on any skills you may have and learn some new ones, its good to keep yourself interesting. You'll also find lots of advice on some of the other posts here.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 3:53:37 PM   
dprsub


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		I am sorry if this seems like the same question. In the other thread I was interested in knowing if anyone thought there was a chance; in this thread I'm trying to find out how to present myself best, so that a potentially interested Dominate would have the most clear understanding of who and what I am, and thus know if I'm something they would be interested in.

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 3:55:49 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

While I have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for my Dominant (unfortunately, I don't have one yet), I can't help much when it comes to sex...
How can I try to find someone who would feel similarly, or at least not be disappointed with my restriction?


I asked this in the other thread but did not get an answer. Does your disinterest in sex also include giving your partner orgasms, either manually or orally? Will you still be willing and eager to bring her to orgasm?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 4:07:21 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		AAkasha,
He did answer that question within a post:

quote:

As of yet, I do not think that oral sex is something that is within my abilities. It's not me refusing to do something just because I'm not interested; it's a hard limit that I regret having.



I am also curious as to what he has to offer....

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 4:09:50 PM   
dprsub


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

While I have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for my Dominant (unfortunately, I don't have one yet), I can't help much when it comes to sex...
How can I try to find someone who would feel similarly, or at least not be disappointed with my restriction?


I asked this in the other thread but did not get an answer. Does your disinterest in sex also include giving your partner orgasms, either manually or orally? Will you still be willing and eager to bring her to orgasm?

Akasha


I'm sorry, I thought I had. No, I can't.

I guess I don't really have anything to offer that anyone would be interested in. As I kept trying to say, I was kind of hoping that there'd be someone whose needs were to top just as my needs were to bottom. I do like to help people; I can do work. But for me, it's work and not play. It makes me feel drained and ready to rest; not excited for D/S stuff. I feel it would be dishonest to talk about my knack for repairing things (from sinks to computer monitors) in a BDSM context because, for me, it's outside of the BDSM context. I was always worried that I had nothing to offer in return for my own "unusual" needs, but one day I realized that wanting to be subjected to the things that I wanted to sounds like something no one would want to do, but I do. And I started hoping that there was someone who wanted to subject someone to that kind of thing, even though it doesn't sound like something anyone would want to do. And thus, both of our needs would be getting met at the same time, as we give and take unto each other in one continuous positive feedback loop. I don't mean to over-romanticize; I know that every rose has thorns and everything takes work and sacrifice. I was just hoping that somewhere, out there, there was a yang to my yin, and I could give what he or she was looking for. But, I guess not. I'm really sorry for wasting everyone's time.

< Message edited by dprsub -- 4/30/2005 4:25:43 PM >

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 4:20:49 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Ok.... so anything sexual is a hard limit.... but why no service such as house work or personal service like running bath etc... would you not like to spoil and look after a Domme?
It certainly limits you as it is no problem for a Domme to get a willing body to play with.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 4:43:31 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

While I have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for my Dominant (unfortunately, I don't have one yet), I can't help much when it comes to sex...
How can I try to find someone who would feel similarly, or at least not be disappointed with my restriction?


I asked this in the other thread but did not get an answer. Does your disinterest in sex also include giving your partner orgasms, either manually or orally? Will you still be willing and eager to bring her to orgasm?

Akasha


I'm sorry, I thought I had. No, I can't.

I guess I don't really have anything to offer that anyone would be interested in. As I kept trying to say, I was kind of hoping that there'd be someone whose needs were to top just as my needs were to bottom. I do like to help people; I can do work. But for me, it's work and not play. It makes me feel drained and ready to rest; not excited for D/S stuff. I feel it would be dishonest to talk about my knack for repairing things (from sinks to computer monitors) in a BDSM context because, for me, it's outside of the BDSM context. I was always worried that I had nothing to offer in return for my own "unusual" needs, but one day I realized that wanting to be subjected to the things that I wanted to sounds like something no one would want to do, but I do. And I started hoping that there was someone who wanted to subject someone to that kind of thing, even though it doesn't sound like something anyone would want to do. And thus, both of our needs would be getting met at the same time, as we give and take unto each other in one continuous positive feedback loop. I don't mean to over-romanticize; I know that every rose has thorns and everything takes work and sacrifice. I was just hoping that somewhere, out there, there was a yang to my yin, and I could give what he or she was looking for. But, I guess not. I'm really sorry for wasting everyone's time.


Are you equally open to a relationship with a male dominant then?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 4:44:19 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

While I have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for my Dominant (unfortunately, I don't have one yet), I can't help much when it comes to sex...
How can I try to find someone who would feel similarly, or at least not be disappointed with my restriction?


I asked this in the other thread but did not get an answer. Does your disinterest in sex also include giving your partner orgasms, either manually or orally? Will you still be willing and eager to bring her to orgasm?

Akasha


I'm sorry, I thought I had. No, I can't.

I guess I don't really have anything to offer that anyone would be interested in. As I kept trying to say, I was kind of hoping that there'd be someone whose needs were to top just as my needs were to bottom. I do like to help people; I can do work. But for me, it's work and not play. It makes me feel drained and ready to rest; not excited for D/S stuff. I feel it would be dishonest to talk about my knack for repairing things (from sinks to computer monitors) in a BDSM context because, for me, it's outside of the BDSM context. I was always worried that I had nothing to offer in return for my own "unusual" needs, but one day I realized that wanting to be subjected to the things that I wanted to sounds like something no one would want to do, but I do. And I started hoping that there was someone who wanted to subject someone to that kind of thing, even though it doesn't sound like something anyone would want to do. And thus, both of our needs would be getting met at the same time, as we give and take unto each other in one continuous positive feedback loop. I don't mean to over-romanticize; I know that every rose has thorns and everything takes work and sacrifice. I was just hoping that somewhere, out there, there was a yang to my yin, and I could give what he or she was looking for. But, I guess not. I'm really sorry for wasting everyone's time.


Again, you talk about give and take, but, at least to me, it looks like all take. You say you have a wide variety of interests and would do just about anything for your dominant. Yet, you don't want to provide anything sexually, you don't want to provide anything service wise, it just tires you out....blah,bah,blah....and, because you have no interest in it. So what? Do you really think Dommes are dwelling on what you are or are not interested in??You, like so many others, that in my short time on the boards and on CM have begin to know, think that your needs are the most important(this while trying to portray you are a submissive). You say you want to submit, yet you have hard limits to apparently everything that a Domme might be interested in. I think you will have a hard time finding a Domme that is interested in providing for your wants and desires(since we all know that is what Dommes do, is worry about you), especially when you apparently offer nothing in return.(shrugs, rolls eyes, and walks away)


< Message edited by kc692 -- 4/30/2005 4:51:23 PM >

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 4:58:09 PM   
dprsub


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		Nice. I see. So, if we switched shoes, and you were complaining about having no one to top, and I criticized you for only wanting to take? How about how, apparently, you'd also want them to do chores for you and all? That sounds like only wanting to take from me. On the other hand, I would like to find someone with similar interests so that we could mutually engage and enjoy activities. I am not asking anyone to do any "favors" on top of that. But hey, perspective is scarey. Instead of thinking about that sort of thing, please just be sarcastic and roll your eyes around a bit instead. It's much safer, isn't it?

I realize that for some people, having the submissive/slave doing chores is part of their BDSM taste. I respect that, but please don't assume that it is the same for everyone else; no matter which end of the leash they have.

quote:


Again, you talk about give and take, but, at least to me, it looks like all take. You don't want to provide anything sexually, you don't want to provide anything service wise, it just tires you out....blah,bah,blah....You, like so many others, that in my short time on the boards and on CM have begin to know, think that your needs are the most important(this while trying to portray you are a submissive). You say you want to submit, yet you have hard limits to apparently everything that a Domme might be interested in. I think you will have a hard time finding a Domme that is interested in providing for your wants and desires(since we all know that is what Dommes do, is worry about you), especially when you apparently offer nothing in return.(shrugs, rolls eyes, and walks away)


(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 5:01:31 PM   
dprsub


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Are you equally open to a relationship with a male dominant then?

Akasha


Yes. Gender is completely irrelevant to me, though I'm starting to think it's a moot point. I don't think that what I'm looking for exists.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 5:25:55 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Are you equally open to a relationship with a male dominant then?

Akasha


Yes. Gender is completely irrelevant to me, though I'm starting to think it's a moot point. I don't think that what I'm looking for exists.


Have you consider seeing a professional dominatrix? It would be a completely non sexual relationship with no strings attached, yet you can explore all of your fetishes in the hands of a capable woman with a fully equipped dungeon.

You also don't have to worry about your partner then developing an emotional connection and wanting intimacy in addition to companionship. It's probably a very viable route.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 5:40:39 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub

Nice. I see. So, if we switched shoes, and you were complaining about having no one to top, and I criticized you for only wanting to take? How about how, apparently, you'd also want them to do chores for you and all? That sounds like only wanting to take from me. On the other hand, I would like to find someone with similar interests so that we could mutually engage and enjoy activities. I am not asking anyone to do any "favors" on top of that. But hey, perspective is scarey. Instead of thinking about that sort of thing, please just be sarcastic and roll your eyes around a bit instead. It's much safer, isn't it?

I realize that for some people, having the submissive/slave doing chores is part of their BDSM taste. I respect that, but please don't assume that it is the same for everyone else; no matter which end of the leash they have.






First of all, I am not one to whine and complain. Others, in addition to myself, have repeatedly asked you what you have to offer on your end. It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, or service, but you should have SOMETHING to offer, and you have not stated what that may be. So, we have been coddling you and repeatedly asking the same questions, to possibly help you with the answer you supposedly seek. The rolling eyes is because, I, for one, see no progress,

And insofar as you think you may know what I take, and don't give, my boys and girls have freely chosen to serve me. And as far as chores are concerned, my subs have been happy and honored to do things for me, more often than not without any prompting, from drawing baths to massages, to many other things, including mundane everyday tasks.

The difference is I have something to offer to them, that they want and need. I truly have cared for my pets, and they have known and felt that through various means, including discipline and rewards. I have shown them that I cared for them in more vanilla methods also. They have all been different in their makeup, and every relationship is different, so it is impossible to explain what I "brought to the table" in every instance, and for this conversation , don't feel the desire or need to do so.

See, I think you are missing a basic tenent here also. You talk about subs doing chores being BDSM taste and not everyone shares that taste. I think the main question is actually whether or not you are submissive. You talk about finding someone dominant, yet you offer no compromises to your hard limits; generally not considered submissive behavior, especially when you state ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that you bring to the relationship here.

Maybe, instead of submissive, you just have some unusual kinks, and wish to explore those, and see this lifestyle as a way to achieve your own gratification, since it apparently has not been possible to do in the vanilla world. I wish you luck.

But then again, that's just my perspective.

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 5:41:56 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		I agree AAkasha, then he could still somewhat call the shots...

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Searching question. - 4/30/2005 7:48:39 PM   
simplemaleslave


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree, after following this thread today, the only real answer for you is a Pro-Dom

certainly your cash will work, and you have no clue about real service to a special Woman. You will never find what I as a slave find by serving, but you will find your own personal enjoyment, as long as you can afford it.



my .02


slave dan

< Message edited by simplemaleslave -- 4/30/2005 7:50:56 PM >

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 20
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