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Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:26:12 PM   
Intertwined


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:29:36 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Pretty much anytime you say always you are wrong.

(in reply to Intertwined)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:30:35 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Perhaps because there are many dominants who live in an area that they have no long term ties to, have jobs that can be replaced in almost any city or town, or that they can take with them (internet based). Perhaps there are many wise dom/mes who would rather move and be happy in a good relationship than do without because a sub could not move for whatever reason (divorce and custody issues, parents in old folks home).

If both partners are equally free to move, it might be nice for the sub to be the one to move. If the sub owns a home in a town she's lived in all her life, is helping part time caring for elderly parents, lives in the same town as an ex with whom custody of kids is shared, owns her own business - and the dom lives in an apartment in a town he's lived in for 2 or 3 years, and is a wage slave - doesn't it make sense for the dom to move?

~E

(in reply to Intertwined)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:30:50 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave


That doesn't always make sense. Not all doms have great jobs, family ties, or even good friends where they live. In my case, when Valyraen decided to move in with me he was working a crappy job in an area where he no longer had any friends. At least not ones he got to see on a regular basis. I, on the other hand, was still in college, had a house, and fanatastic friends in an area where we can actually hang out with other like-minded people.

Doesn't make much sense for me to uproot my academic career and leave an area with good jobs, great friends to go to an area where the best job a college graduate could find was working register monkey at Panera does it? I admire all those who are willing to uproot their lives for the betterment of their relationship, regardless of who is moving.

Edited for many typos

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/26/2007 9:32:48 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Intertwined)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:31:51 PM   
MasterKazarik


Posts: 40
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		Interesting question..

I cant / wont speak for other Doms and Domes but I will say that of those who I call close friends, they do not relocate, they have worked hard to get where they are and expect the sub/slave to come to them..

Interesting observation though..

(in reply to Intertwined)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:33:11 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well I guess that's your belief.  But I don't really see a reason why a persons relationship orientation should define why they have to get stuck in Iselin NJ for the rest of their lives if they have a chance and good reason to move to Paris, eh?

I mean, doms are supposed to be the ones who decide who does what, right?  So does that mean "except for who moves, then he isn't allowed to decide"?


< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/26/2007 9:34:11 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:36:30 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


I mean, doms are supposed to be the ones who decide who does what, right?  So does that mean "except for who moves, then he isn't allowed to decide"?



Sometimes, when I hear the phrase "doms should always do this" or "sub should always do this", I wonder if there is some great oath doms and subs take that I am just unaware of.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:37:47 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Sometimes, when I hear the phrase "doms should always do this" or "sub should always do this", I wonder if there is some great oath doms and subs take that I am just unaware of.


It's the manual. You didn't get the super secret manual. I didn't get it either. Apparently they only hand it out to a select few....

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:37:54 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Wow...an easy one!
 
First, consider that you're talking about people...forget the roles for a moment. Then look into the logistics of moving across town, much less across the country. For some people it is easier than others. There are many factors that go into uprooting yourself and moving...I know, I did it.
 
So, that was a long way of saying it's just logistics.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Intertwined)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:38:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Sometimes, when I hear the phrase "doms should always do this" or "sub should always do this", I wonder if there is some great oath doms and subs take that I am just unaware of.

"Doms are always the ones in control...except they can't move, and they can't be compassionate, and they can't want to do anything nice for the sub, and they can't let the sub handle the money...."

It's always weird how people make these rules up, specially for people who are supposed to be able to make whatever rules they want.

And really, MAKE whatever rules you want for your relationship, but the moment you take it from "my relationship" to "what everyone should do" then you have problems.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:38:41 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Sometimes, when I hear the phrase "doms should always do this" or "sub should always do this", I wonder if there is some great oath doms and subs take that I am just unaware of.


It's the manual. You didn't get the super secret manual. I didn't get it either. Apparently they only hand it out to a select few....


Awww.... we aren't cool.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Elorin)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:40:01 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		Intertwined, i've noticed a lot of this as well, and i'll admit i had some of the same thoughts that you did. why would a Dom/Master relocate to be with a sub/slave? why should he give up his job/friends/current life situation? but then intellectually i can understand, as some have already pointed out there, that a Dominant may not be emotionally or financially vested in his particular area for whatever reason, and a move could be beneficial in that regard. but still, if he is moving to her place, to me that is giving her quite a bit of power and also shouldn't she be willing to give up whatever...career, home, family ties... if she is going to be his, particularly if you are talking about a M/s situation?? i suppose i could understand it better if both were moving to an entirely new place together, creating a new life/home together, but not wanting to disrupt the submissive/slave's life situation and moving in with her? that feels a little weird to me, but eh, that's my problem.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:41:52 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		Jast as in our case, we have an internet business so that leaves us free to work any wheres, but we love our MTS and will stay here,,BH

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:42:56 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		the folks i meet are usually happy to live in a warmer climate.



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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:43:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
if she is going to be his, particularly if you are talking about a M/s situation?? i suppose i could understand it better if both were moving to an entirely new place together, creating a new life/home together, but not wanting to disrupt the submissive/slave's life situation and moving in with her? that feels a little weird to me, but eh, that's my problem.

Just because the situation doesn't require it, doesn't mean she isn't willing or able to do it.

Whatever the master says, goes.  So if a master says "You live in a better place and I want us to start living in that place together with you in that job you are in" then that's what happens.  It would be a bit weird for the slave to say "No you can't do that because people on collarme said you're supposed to have me move" wouldn't it?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:47:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

Intertwined, i've noticed a lot of this as well, and i'll admit i had some of the same thoughts that you did. why would a Dom/Master relocate to be with a sub/slave? why should he give up his job/friends/current life situation? but then intellectually i can understand, as some have already pointed out there, that a Dominant may not be emotionally or financially vested in his particular area for whatever reason, and a move could be beneficial in that regard. but still, if he is moving to her place, to me that is giving her quite a bit of power and also shouldn't she be willing to give up whatever...career, home, family ties... if she is going to be his, particularly if you are talking about a M/s situation?? i suppose i could understand it better if both were moving to an entirely new place together, creating a new life/home together, but not wanting to disrupt the submissive/slave's life situation and moving in with her? that feels a little weird to me, but eh, that's my problem.


I can not, for the life of me, understand the notion that "the sub has more power because she owns the house".

My parents own the house we live in. He pays rent, I don't. I could kick him out if I wanted to but I'm not so inclined and unless he starts abusing me, molesting things that shouldn't be molested (ie. does any of the thing that would result in withdrawing my submission anyway as is our arrangement), then how do I have more power? He is the dominant, he makes the decisions. He tells me when to go shopping for groceries, he tells me when to do this or that. He tells me when we will have sex, when we won't, so on and so forth. In fact, he did all this when he wasn't working and I was the only one with an income. He had no problem ordering me and I had no problem obeying. This wasn't really all that hard for us. I was the submissive, I'm providing a home for his use. Food for his belly. I am giving to him out of my love and my submission.

Is it submissive for the master to provide a home for his slave? No, but as with bathing and doing chores the action does not matter in our lifestyle. It is the intent behind it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/26/2007 9:48:41 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:48:35 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		When I met My last long term girl I lived in the NW of the UK, she lived in the south.

I had no ties there, am retired so no job and frankly was rather bored with the city I was in. The 'scene' there was non-existant.

she was in a good job, had recently moved to where she was so still had plenty to explore about what that area had to offer.

So I CHOSE to join her there and both of us explored the area together. That relationship lasted close to a decade, saw Me marry her and move to London with her a few years later.

This time My girl is 400 miles away and tied where she is for the next few years.... after which she WON'T be tied there. I have no real ties here BUT London has FAR FAR more to offer US as a couple that Edinburgh does. So THIS time I have chosen to tough it out for a few years doing the LDR until she is no longer tied up there and have her move down to Me.

A Dom will make the decision He feels best and act accordingly. What you BELIEVE 'should' happen isn't really relivant now is it?




_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Intertwined)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:50:22 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Just because the situation doesn't require it, doesn't mean she isn't willing or able to do it.

Whatever the master says, goes.  So if a master says "You live in a better place and I want us to start living in that place together with you in that job you are in" then that's what happens.  It would be a bit weird for the slave to say "No you can't do that because people on collarme said you're supposed to have me move" wouldn't it?


yes, obviously whatever the Master says goes. it just strikes odd to me that a Master would actually prefer a situation in which his sub/slave held such power, and in which he was so vulnerable. but then it also strikes me as odd that there are Masters out there who demand to be scratched, cursed, and hit by their submissives. just call me easily amazed and confused.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:52:34 PM   
smcontrol


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		There are also jobs where the only requirement is that you live near an airport; and I get the internet based idea....  And like many of the posts I think the rulebook is simply silly.

For a moment I did think why would a person who enjoys control be living in a place they didn't like in the first place.  But I guess that it might not be that they don't "like" where they are living but find they like where their new slave/submissive is living better.

_____________________________

Michael

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills."


Ernest Hemingway, 1929




(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/26/2007 9:53:13 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Just because the situation doesn't require it, doesn't mean she isn't willing or able to do it.

Whatever the master says, goes.  So if a master says "You live in a better place and I want us to start living in that place together with you in that job you are in" then that's what happens.  It would be a bit weird for the slave to say "No you can't do that because people on collarme said you're supposed to have me move" wouldn't it?


yes, obviously whatever the Master says goes. it just strikes odd to me that a Master would actually prefer a situation in which his sub/slave held such power, and in which he was so vulnerable. but then it also strikes me as odd that there are Masters out there who demand to be scratched, cursed, and hit by their submissives. just call me easily amazed and confused.


Every sub/slave has the power to have her dom/master removed from a building her name is on. It's called picking up the phone and dialing 911. Every sub/slave also has the power to remove herself from a building her name is not on. Again, dial 911 and the police will escort you away. Pretending that they don't have that power is simply pretending that certain things don't exist. The question is if you trust them enough to believe they won't. If they have to worry about that, then they have more to work on in their relationship then just who owns the house.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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