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ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
perhaps there are things that can be done, ways a Master can come in and take over (not just in the relationship but financially, physically, legally, etc.) in such a way that leaves the sub/slave truly powerless. i actually would be fairly impressed with a Master who was able to accomplish such.

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ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout
The decision of who moves should be made with practical concerns for the entire family in mind.

Nope - the dom should thump his chest, demand his way regardless of how little sense it makes, tell his sub/slave he needs her to move to him so he can feel more powerful and so she can feel totally vulnerable and helpless.  Practical?  Concern?  Keep the entire family in mind?  Bah....how hot is that?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Perhaps they could get some tips from the abusive men in the vanilla world who do this each and every day with their wives and girlfriends.  i managed a DV shelter for 4 years and those guys didn't seem to have any problems coming up with ways to take over financially, physically, and legally.  Many of our female clients found themselves in virtually the same circumstances as Naked Girl Scout mentioned - with kids, homeless, and broke.  They were truly powerless.  It didn't seem to impress the women or us too much.  i always have to marvel at those subs/slaves who seem to delight in the idea of being in such a helpless, hopeless situation that they could be thrown out, abandoned, and just totally f'd over at any minute.  For anyone who has ever been there or seen another be there, there's nothing cool and fantasy-like about it. 
 
The point i'm making is that M/s and D/s are one thing but putting yourself into a situation where, if things don't work out well, you are totally screwed is just not too bright IN MY OPINION.  Be it in the vanilla world or bdsm, to put on rose-colored glasses, bury your head in the sand, and believe that nothing bad could ever, ever happen just doesn't involve good sense.  You can read here on these forums on any given day and see how it happens to all kinds of people.  And furthermore, i don't know why any dom/master worth his salt would want to put their sub/slave into such a potentially hopeless situation.
 

 

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
because perhaps some of us don't agree that ownership is only "in the mind", and that it must be backed up by real, tangible measures of control and power. obviously you're entitled to your opinion, but personally if i felt the need for an emergency, just in case, get outta dodge free clause, then i would never have chosen to be a slave in the first place. part of what makes me feel so secure in this relationship is the fact that if he wanted, my Master could throw me out on the street tomorrow with not a dime to my name or a thread of clothing on my back. it allows me to feel secure in his ownership of me, knowing that yes this is the real deal, this is not a game or "fantasy", and he is genuinely in control of me. no it's not "cool", no it's not wank off material, it's real life, and for some of us this is the way M/s works.

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I don't see it as 'stealing' the submissives assets, I see it as just a different way to shift the power.
Admittedly I cannot imagine myself handing over my financial assets but I do understand it. Hmm.. it would be nice to have that actually..a lot of trust involved..

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
i say you are welcome to your opinions as well but i resent the implication that my and my Master's style of ownership just isn't sincere enough, real enough, or "slavey" enough....give me a break.........slave luci

Dead wrong.......i have never questioned anyone's "style of ownership," certainly not my Master's and that is a thoroughly ignorant comment.  How you could read what i have written and get anywhere near that assumption out of it is mind-boggling.  i said my piece as everyone else does and that's how i feel.  You can rest assured i NEVER question anything about O/our style of relationship.  Why is it that just because i am as secure in mine as she is in hers (or you in yours), that's somehow wrong?  Truly amazing........  .......slave luci

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
because perhaps some of us don't agree that ownership is only "in the mind", and that it must be backed up by real, tangible measures of control and power. obviously you're entitled to your opinion, but personally if i felt the need for an emergency, just in case, get outta dodge free clause, then i would never have chosen to be a slave in the first place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Yep, you're right...some of us don't agree that ownership is only "in the mind" and i'm one of them.  If you are indicating that any sub/slave who doesn't get him/herself into such a position as you say you're in is owned only in their mind, i'm here to tell you that you're sorely mistaken.  i'm well aware how you say you have no limits and i'm sure the thought of being thrown out on a whim is an intriguing one to you.  This does not negate a word of what i said above - that kind of thing happens to women every day and i've been in a situation pretty similar to that myself during my vanilla marriage.  i found nothing fun or exciting about it.  i doubt you have ever experienced anything like that or you probably wouldn't either, but who knows, maybe you would.  i think it's two different things to "play" at being a slave and to really be one, albeit one with what i consider some common sense and self worth.  i KNOW my Master won't "throw me out on the street" with nothing or i would never have entered into the relationship that W/we have.  If you need the threat of that hanging over your head to feel "owned," that's your choice.  i feel very secure, loved, and owned without such fears.  Just because other slaves don't fear their masters or have the threat of being thrown out over some little bit of nothing (gaining 10 lbs, was it?), does not mean they are living a fantasy, play-time existence.  i love how you throw in how the way you do things is "how some of us" do things.  Well, how Master and i live is how "lots of us" do it too.  You say you have no limits, the thought of being disposed of on a whim seems to make you feel secure and fulfilled, and without those types of things, it's basically a fantasy.  i say you are welcome to your opinions as well but i resent the implication that my and my Master's style of ownership just isn't sincere enough, real enough, or "slavey" enough....give me a break.........slave luci

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
wow...just wow. it's really freaking me out that you seem to take my comments so personally and so negatively. i don't know you, your Master, or the nuances of your relationship. anything i post comes from my own personal experiences, beliefs and values, just like everyone else.
as do mine. 
there are many different "Ways" in this lifestyle, and all must choose the appropriate path for them.
with that said, you made quite a few false (and some outright offensive) implications from my post. first, i never said that making the slave completely financially and legally helpless and powerless is the only way that a Master can back up his ownership. it is just one way. my point was that there must be SOMEthing concrete, something tangible, to drive home the reality of ownership, and that it cannot be solely a commitment bound by honor and devotion.
You didn't quite put it that way and when i questioned making someone totally helpless (based on real cases i had seen that were detrimental), you shot back that for "some of us" it's not just "in the mind."  i think it wasn't too outrageous to assume that meant that for some of us it is and i was the one you were speaking to.  My bad if you didn't direct that at me/
secondly, i never said or implied that the fact that my Master could kick me out on a whim with nothing to my name, was "intriguing," "fun," or "exciting." as a matter of fact i stated quite the opposite, in response to your previous posting implying that this was some sort of hot fantasy for me, and that i had no comprehension of the cold, harsh realities of such a situation. obviously i comprehend just how real, serious, and not "fun" it is, as this is the life i live everyday and have done so for the past 6 and 3/4 years. the vanilla women you mentioned, i can very clearly imagine what such a fate would be like. however as i said, for me personally that adds security and stability to our relationship and my place in life, because that is HIS way of showing me that this is no game or hot role play, that he is as serious as a heart attack about owning and controlling me, just as instilling and maintaining a healthy fear of him in me helps to emphasize control and provide security. others may find this same sense of security and stability in other ways, this is just our way.
okay.  i read your post and took every single thing you said wrong.  You are absolutely right, i am absolutely wrong if that's what i'm supposed to say here.  Obviously my usual intelligence just doesn't apply when reading your posts as i never seem to read anything the way you say you mean it.  i don't have the time or energy to rehash all this again.  i said what i said, i meant it, and if you think everything i wrote applied directly to you, that freaks me out as well.  i wrote alot more than you or tricia are focusing on.  How about that whole part i wrote that actually applied to the title of this thread?  Seemed to have skipped right over and ignored that part just to focus on my "supposed" attack on you and my "questioning" of my own relationship.  Geesh.  If what you wrote above had been in earlier posts, it would have clarified.  You didn't say things quite this way earlier.  Now they are qualified...ok.  
 
if our way disturbs you so, just be all the more grateful that you don't have to live it,
believe me, i am.  i don't find it disturbing just totally not something i would choose to do. 
 
but there is no need for disrespect.
no, there certainly isn't.  And that works both ways.  i thought you made some pretty offensive implications yourself.  Forgive my disrespect and i'll forgive yours.  Mine was just perhaps a bit more straightforward..................slave luci

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i always have to marvel at those subs/slaves who seem to delight in the idea of being in such a helpless, hopeless situation that they could be thrown out, abandoned, and just totally f'd over at any minute. 

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Just because other slaves don't fear their masters or have the threat of being thrown out over some little bit of nothing (gaining 10 lbs, was it?), does not mean they are living a fantasy, play-time existence.

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Nope - the dom should thump his chest, demand his way regardless of how little sense it makes, tell his sub/slave he needs her to move to him so he can feel more powerful and so she can feel totally vulnerable and helpless.  Practical?  Concern?  Keep the entire family in mind?  Bah....how hot is that? 

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  And furthermore, i don't know why any dom/master worth his salt would want to put their sub/slave into such a potentially hopeless situation.

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  Dead wrong.......i have never questioned anyone's "style of ownership,"

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Pretty much anytime you say always you are wrong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

there are many different "Ways" in this lifestyle, and all must choose the appropriate path for them.
with that said, you made quite a few false (and some outright offensive) implications from my post. first, i never said that making the slave completely financially and legally helpless and powerless is the only way that a Master can back up his ownership. it is just one way. my point was that there must be SOMEthing concrete, something tangible, to drive home the reality of ownership, and that it cannot be solely a commitment bound by honor and devotion.
You didn't quite put it that way and when i questioned making someone totally helpless (based on real cases i had seen that were detrimental), you shot back that for "some of us" it's not just "in the mind."  i think it wasn't too outrageous to assume that meant that for some of us it is and i was the one you were speaking to.  My bad if you didn't direct that at me/

it wasn't directed at you personally, tho whether or not it applies to your specific situation, i don't know. actually i was quoting someone else, from an entirely different thread, where they said something to the effect of "ownership is in the mind," a concept with which i disagree vehemently, and your comments badmouthing those (Dominant and submissive alike) who believe in making a slave truly helpless and powerless, simply reminded me of that statement. so while my comments were not directed to you personally, your comments did spark a particular train of thought.

as for the rest, you seem to have no issue blatantly disrespecting and slamming others, but to take great offense when you believe someone even makes a vague negative implication about yourself or your relationship. we clearly have some very different ways and beliefs, so in discussions like this one there is bound to be disagreement, even passionate disagreement, which is all good. what's not all good are the negativity and insults.

(in reply to slaveluci)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
I apologize if you thought i was personally attacking you, slaveluci.  And i stand corrected.  At first glance, i saw someone who was making another defend their relationship and then feeling offended when they did.

Attack all you want.  Your opinion of me or my Master means less than nothing, frankly.  Your sarcasm is noted.  i don't make anyone defend anything and, believe me, i'm not offended at what you, she, or anyone else does.  Because i am a bit more blunt, i'm the one seen as showing all the disrespect and being so offensive.  If you'd put yourself in my shoes for two seconds, you'd see just how offensive some of your and her remarks were to me.  But no, that would require actually reading and having an open mind to what i said.  Can't be bothered with that.  This little debate is over for me.  i posted on this thread like everyone else with a response and somehow it always comes to this when i quote her.  i end up defending myself for what i believe.  Well, i don't have to do that anymore than she does.  Read what i said to her and soak it in because you'll be arguing with yourself from here on out.....i've got to go enjoy that blissful relationship i "question" so much..................luci

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
it wasn't directed at you personally, tho whether or not it applies to your specific situation, i don't know. actually i was quoting someone else, from an entirely different thread,
that's the first that's been mentioned.  i can't read minds.
where they said something to the effect of "ownership is in the mind," a concept with which i disagree vehemently, and your comments badmouthing those (Dominant and submissive alike) who believe in making a slave truly helpless and powerless, simply reminded me of that statement.
Stating what i have observed (at the DV shelter) is very different from badmouthing. READ what i said. 
as for the rest, you seem to have no issue blatantly disrespecting and slamming others
That's your opinion.  You have a much more subtle, passive way of slamming.  Just because i state outright what i think and feel and don't sugarcoat it, you think that's "slamming." 
but to take great offense when you believe someone even makes a vague negative implication about yourself or your relationship
If it's an astute observation from someone who actually knows something about me and my relationship, i consider it constructive criticism.  When it's just someone making a blanket, ignorant assumption, you're damn right i take offense at such ignorance
we clearly have some very different ways and beliefs, so in discussions like this one there is bound to be disagreement, even passionate disagreement, which is all good. what's not all good are the negativity and insults
i couldn't agree more.  i'm finished with this........slave luci