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RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 8:41:57 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

Why would you think that? Many submissives own homes and have jobs and aren't willing/able to relocate. Especially if they have um's and are court-ordered not to leave their state of residence.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 41

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 8:49:15 AM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

Some people always believed the man should work outside the home.
Some people "always believed" the woman should do all the housework.
Some people "always believed" the man should do anything involving lifting or power tools.
But we know these things are not what works for everyone.

As for my situation, he owns a house and land, and I dont, he has shared custody of his offspring and I have full custody with no other parental unit to consider and we both enjoy the lifestyle offered by his rural community. It was a no-brainer for us, but not because he is the Dom and Im the sub, but because it was the best all-around option for everyone involved.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 42

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 8:51:57 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

I can answer this for myself.....

I work in an industry where I can get a job anywhere, anytime I want. It's Friday as I write this. I could be working on Monday, Tuesday at the latest. While it is true that I am established where I am, and do pretty well, I might be able to do as well or better in other circumstances.

I have had any number of people live with me. Sure, I'm comfortable with that. But if the circumstances of a partner and I warranted that I make the move, and I feel the relationship is solid enough for me to uproot, then why not?

(Maybe I should start packing.)

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 43

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 9:49:54 AM

MasterBRD

Posts: 23
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline

As a Dom who moved to be with his slave I can say it was simply a matter of logic in our case. My beloved had family ties in and around the city she lived in, and I had nothing to speak of that kept me where I was.

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 44

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 9:53:02 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I often say that I'm willing to relocate for a sub....And by that I mean sometimes I'll get off the couch to take a dump...Ot maybe even now and again take out the garbage...Whew! All of this relocation has me pooped!

_____________________________

(in reply to MasterBRD)

Post #: 45

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 2:52:55 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

that may be true RavenMuse...i'm no legal eagle, so perhaps there are things that can be done, ways a Master can come in and take over (not just in the relationship but financially, physically, legally, etc.) in such a way that leaves the sub/slave truly powerless. i actually would be fairly impressed with a Master who was able to accomplish such.

Shows how different we all are.

I'd be totally contemptuous of a man so insecure he had to steal a woman's assets in order to feel that she would stay with him.

But I'm with a man who celebrates the fact that I submit to him because I choose to, not because I have to.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 46

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 3:07:14 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

that may be true RavenMuse...i'm no legal eagle, so perhaps there are things that can be done, ways a Master can come in and take over (not just in the relationship but financially, physically, legally, etc.) in such a way that leaves the sub/slave truly powerless. i actually would be fairly impressed with a Master who was able to accomplish such.

Shows how different we all are.

I'd be totally contemptuous of a man so insecure he had to steal a woman's assets in order to feel that she would stay with him.

But I'm with a man who celebrates the fact that I submit to him because I choose to, not because I have to.

I don't see it as 'stealing' the submissives assets, I see it as just a different way to shift the power.
Admittedly I cannot imagine myself handing over my financial assets but I do understand it. Hmm.. it would be nice to have that actually..a lot of trust involved..

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 47

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 3:16:24 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

that may be true RavenMuse...i'm no legal eagle, so perhaps there are things that can be done, ways a Master can come in and take over (not just in the relationship but financially, physically, legally, etc.) in such a way that leaves the sub/slave truly powerless. i actually would be fairly impressed with a Master who was able to accomplish such.

Shows how different we all are.

I'd be totally contemptuous of a man so insecure he had to steal a woman's assets in order to feel that she would stay with him.

But I'm with a man who celebrates the fact that I submit to him because I choose to, not because I have to.

You don't steal what is given, but I certainly wouldn't hold a man's worth as much if he was so insecure that say, he made her live in the cramped apartment he could afford rather then the nice family home she owns simply because she won't sign it over. It's not logical. Ever since this thread started I've been thinking about a friend I have whose family home is gorgous. Worth several million dollars and she definately would never, ever, ever sign it over, simply because she wants to ensure that it will remain in the family no matter what happened, come death or betrayal. I can't imagine someone not willing to respect the desires of her family to ensure that something that has been handed down for generations (it was built in the colonial days) will stay in the family. Of course, that may be classifed as extenuating circumstances.

I've also got to say that your last statement is spot on for me and mine. We don't feel that my submission would be worth much if it were secured with threats or helplessness.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 48

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 4:28:17 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

I really don't think it matters. The person that has less responsiblity where they are and the person that it is easier for should be the one to move there orientation should not matter.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 49

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 5:01:42 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

What the fuck does it matter who relocates?

That isn't a Dom or sub thing...it's a locational thing.

Dirt is a place to build or contain your dwelling.

Heart is everything else.

(Heart don't give a fuck where the dirt is).

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 50

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/27/2007 5:48:33 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

if anyone relocates, it's based upon their own personal desires/abilities/choice, not their defined position in a realtionship.

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 51

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 2:31:25 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greeting

they do this because if you find the love of your life, and it takes time to know someone. so if that person is the one why not move.

mons

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 52

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 4:20:36 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i think the OP is reading way too much into the 'willing to relocate' option on the profiles. For example, i had one Dom tell me i should have not listed that unless i was willing to relocate anywhere, including halfway around the globe. There isn't an option to choose 'willing to relocate within xxx miles' or 'not opposed to relocating if the situation made that the better choice'. i am not willing to relocate just for a whim or to see if a relationship might maybe could work out. However, as much as it would be difficult to re-establish myself career-wise and as much as i would hate to live too far away from my grandchild, i AM willing to relocate and not let miles hinder being with the One for whom i am intended. i should think that is what most people mean when they choose the 'willing to relocate' option regardless of orientation.

Are there Dominants who are maybe thinking of using the sub for financial gain, to move into her house and have her support him and think this is going to be acceptable because she is the slave and has to do whatever he wants? Of course. And there are some submissives/slaves who are looking for a Dominant or Master for the same reason to use Him finacially? Of course. And there are some who get off on being the financial provider whether submissive or Dominant. There's a lid for every pot.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 53

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 4:21:07 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

I'm actually one of the relocatable Doms. About 8-9 months ago when a 5 year relationship ended, I was the one that packed up and left. Did I take the dinning room furniture and things like that, hell no.   I suppose some people get the impression that us Doms are heartless in nature and would simply be ejecting the women out the door without a damn thing. Perhaps call this old school of thinking but it's often easier for us men to work at obtaining material things all over again. Compared to a woman working with Kids.

Just because I'm relocatable does not mean I'm seeking to move in the same place a sub/slave either is currently living. It does mean however I can move to a city and get a place for both her and I to live in. Relocatable means just that, I actually dispise the fact that people jump to false conclusions at times. This is why I have this on my profile - "I am open to relocating (This does not mean I am looking to move in with you and have you support me!)".   I already had somebody rudely accuse me of wanting to move in with them.   Relocatable means just that Relocatable.   It does not say DOM wants to move into submissives current residence.

Hell, I'd even be willing to relocate to some place completely different altogether if she can relocate as well.  In terms of work, I work from home and have clients in the US and CA. No matter where the I go my work will follow me.

Consider the fact that many times when a relationship ends, often the house gets sold.  Perhaps I'm wrong but I believe more times than not, a man simply ends up leaving the house behind for the woman to live in. Many times there are children/kids involved, and additional considerations to be made.

Just because I'm a Dom does not mean I'm going to be tossing a submissive along with children out the door helpless with no where to go.   I think you need to step back and rethink the whole bit about your belief that it should be the submissive that has to relocate.

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 54

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 4:30:07 AM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

As a woman with kids who HAS been kicked out of the Dom's house with no money or possession and forced to go to a womens' shelter, I've gone from being "relocateable" to preferring that the Dom moves in with me... then I'd still have a home if he didn't work out, at least. It's all in one's point of view and experience.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 55

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 5:17:24 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout
As a woman with kids who HAS been kicked out of the Dom's house with no money or possession and forced to go to a womens' shelter, I've gone from being "relocateable" to preferring that the Dom moves in with me... then I'd still have a home if he didn't work out, at least. It's all in one's point of view and experience.

I can totally understand your point of view on this, because it protects both you and your kids. Call it an exit plan. Sure nobody intentionally plans for a relationship to fail, however it's always wise to have a general plan in place should it fail. Even more so with kids involved.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 56

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 5:57:37 AM

yenlui

Posts: 51
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

Why? The only reason I wouldn't even dream of asking Him to relocate is that He has a child. If He hadn't, there's no way I would have accepted it if He took it for granted that I'd be the one who relocated

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 57

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 6:23:10 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

As a woman with kids who HAS been kicked out of the Dom's house with no money or possession and forced to go to a womens' shelter, I've gone from being "relocateable" to preferring that the Dom moves in with me... then I'd still have a home if he didn't work out, at least. It's all in one's point of view and experience.

Ouch... my heart goes out to you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 58

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 6:40:28 AM

subtoheart

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

as far as being relocatable I agree with all this I am now in the situation of finding my own place. Because he isnt happy with me. I moved hundreds of miles away from my kids and family to be with him. (stupid girl) so live and learn.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 59

RE: Am curious as to why... - 4/28/2007 6:57:50 AM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

oh dear. for someone who's just learning the ropes, how do we get on this super secret list to get the real deal manual?

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 60

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