quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I wonder what other conditions he will come up with after she loses the 25lbs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
ok, the words "or i wont marry you" have never come into the equation. and who says marriage, something that we both already want CANT be a reward? isnt in the end the ULTIMATE reward?

Ok, now you are playing a game of semantics. You say to-may-to....I say to-mah-to. They are both the same thing.

No mixie, marriage is not a reward. It is not a prize. It is a commitment that should not be influenced by superficial.

If you already had your mind made up about how you feel on this and only plan to defend his actions then why on earth did you ask the question?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I wonder what other conditions he will come up with after she loses the 25lbs.

ditto

quote:

It seems as if she is as unhappy with her weight as he is.  Sometimes men try to motivate women differently than we'd like

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I won't go into the what-if's, as I hope you're a reasonably intelligent young woman who realizes that a woman's body goes through many changes through the years, whether or not she has children.

What I would suggest is that you both focus on inches lost, how you look and feel, rather than the actual number of pounds lost. What registers on the scale as pounds lost can be water, fat and even much needed muscle tissue, and may not change the way you look much if you don't do pursue this in a realistic and healthy manner.

Drink plenty of water, exercise (cardio, weights, resistance, stretching), eat appropriate amounts of foods for you as an individual, and your body should respond nicely, barring any medical issues.

I am 5'10" and I have worn a size 12 at 155 lbs and at 185 lbs. The difference? At 185 lbs, I had more toned and sculpted muscle tissue - muscle weighs more than fat, but is more compact (unless you're a bulked up body builder type). At 155 lbs, I was the same size, but my body was softer and smooshier due to having more fat and less muscle. I looked better at 185 lbs than I did at 155 lbs, so I don't pay attention to the scale anymore.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

It seems as if she is as unhappy with her weight as he is.  Sometimes men try to motivate women differently than we'd like

.

I get that.  I wonder if there is more going on though.  He may be using the weight issue as an excuse to get out of the commitment.  And she may find herself fighting all sorts of barriers to get to the "marriage" part of the relationship (if this is indeed the case)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I wonder what other conditions he will come up with after she loses the 25lbs.

ditto

as long as they make me a better me, i could care less.

Thank You Master for being so concerned about my weight that You will finally marry me when i am happy and satisfied with myself and pleasing to Your eye!

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
and yea i guess i suppose i didnt really care if ppl thought it was superficial or not but more interested in D's opinions and if they have done things of that sort. thank you mist, i will go edit it right now and clarify that i dont care if He is superficial or not, seeing as how He is till with me after the weight gain... and who says He wont marry me? this will just bring it more quickly. Never has He said "I wont marry you fat"

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Sounds like you are as concerrned about your weight as he is, which is good. If you were happy the way you were and he wasn't and insisted you loose - that would just make you miserable. Make your goals realistic - loose it over a years time - this way you have a better chance of keeping it off. The last thing you want to do is go on a liquid fast diet - they are no good for the metabilism and you are prone to gall stones afterwards. Everyone who looses weight looses muscle along with fat. The problem with yo yo dieting is that when they gain it back they only gain back fat, the mucle you gain back only through exercies and weight lifting. Don't fall into that trap. Gaining - loosing - gaining - loosing - your body will change and you will start to loose your body shape - fat looks different then muscle - You can actually gain back less weight and look fatter because the weight loose was muscle and the gain was all fat. Drinking water is essential to weight loss as well. To keep it off and raise metabolism you have to incorporate exercise into your life as well. Good luck to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

It seems as if she is as unhappy with her weight as he is. Sometimes men try to motivate women differently than we'd like

.

I get that. I wonder if there is more going on though. He may be using the weight issue as an excuse to get out of the commitment. And she may find herself fighting all sorts of barriers to get to the "marriage" part of the relationship (if this is indeed the case)

I agree. And I would suspect that on a subconsious level she herself is scared that he may be a shallow and superficial person which is why she originally asked "is he being superficial." If she was totally secure in the fact that he ISN'T superficial, then she wouldn't have asked that in the first place. There's a seed of doubt in her mind, I think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
ok, the words "or i wont marry you" have never come into the equation. and who says marriage, something that we both already want CANT be a reward? isnt in the end the ULTIMATE reward?

Ok, now you are playing a game of semantics. You say to-may-to....I say to-mah-to. They are both the same thing.

No mixie, marriage is not a reward. It is not a prize. It is a commitment that should not be influenced by superficial.

If you already had your mind made up about how you feel on this and only plan to defend his actions then why on earth did you ask the question?

well defending Him is only natural, wouldnt you agree?

and yea i guess i suppose i didnt really care if ppl thought it was superficial or not but more interested in D's opinions and if they have done things of that sort. thank you mist, i will go edit it right now and clarify that i dont care if He is superficial or not, seeing as how He is till with me after the weight gain... and who says He wont marry me? this will just bring it more quickly. Never has He said "I wont marry you fat"

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
and yea i guess i suppose i didnt really care if ppl thought it was superficial or not but more interested in D's opinions and if they have done things of that sort. thank you mist, i will go edit it right now and clarify that i dont care if He is superficial or not, seeing as how He is till with me after the weight gain... and who says He wont marry me? this will just bring it more quickly. Never has He said "I wont marry you fat"

Oh I see....."D"s" opinions. I guess that "s" opinions don't really count. And on the off chance that you meant D/s....no, superficial isn't part of what I would consider to be a healthy dynamic either. I'm done....good luck honey.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

It seems as if she is as unhappy with her weight as he is.  Sometimes men try to motivate women differently than we'd like

.

I get that.  I wonder if there is more going on though.  He may be using the weight issue as an excuse to get out of the commitment.  And she may find herself fighting all sorts of barriers to get to the "marriage" part of the relationship (if this is indeed the case)

I agree. And I would suspect that on a subconsious level she herself is scared that he may be a shallow and superficial person which is why she originally asked "is he being superficial." If she was totally secure in the fact that he ISN'T superficial, then she wouldn't have asked that in the first place. There's a seed of doubt in her mind, I think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
ok, the words "or i wont marry you" have never come into the equation. and who says marriage, something that we both already want CANT be a reward? isnt in the end the ULTIMATE reward?

Ok, now you are playing a game of semantics. You say to-may-to....I say to-mah-to. They are both the same thing.

No mixie, marriage is not a reward. It is not a prize. It is a commitment that should not be influenced by superficial.

If you already had your mind made up about how you feel on this and only plan to defend his actions then why on earth did you ask the question?

well defending Him is only natural, wouldnt you agree?

and yea i guess i suppose i didnt really care if ppl thought it was superficial or not but more interested in D's opinions and if they have done things of that sort. thank you mist, i will go edit it right now and clarify that i dont care if He is superficial or not, seeing as how He is till with me after the weight gain... and who says He wont marry me? this will just bring it more quickly. Never has He said "I wont marry you fat"

You can't change the superficial part because even without mentioning it to begin with... it would have been pointed out.

As a dominant, I will answer this. The only way I could ever take an active role in having a sub lose weight is if it were a situation where their health depended on it.

The scenario you have described isn't that drastic & it is purely for shallow reasons. Lose 25 so that I can have a trophy slave.... couch, cough, BS, cough, cough

I think this is one of those times when you two need to sit down & talk about your mutual goals & realistic parameters. (meaning, the things that are really important... not selfish desires)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

It seems as if she is as unhappy with her weight as he is. Sometimes men try to motivate women differently than we'd like

.

I get that. I wonder if there is more going on though. He may be using the weight issue as an excuse to get out of the commitment. And she may find herself fighting all sorts of barriers to get to the "marriage" part of the relationship (if this is indeed the case)

I agree. And I would suspect that on a subconsious level she herself is scared that he may be a shallow and superficial person which is why she originally asked "is he being superficial." If she was totally secure in the fact that he ISN'T superficial, then she wouldn't have asked that in the first place. There's a seed of doubt in her mind, I think.

FINE. He is superficial, but to be fair, so am i. so i guess we are even then!