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Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:26:26 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline 		This subject is a huge issue with me, but I cannot understand why it is necessary for me to respond to an ad in detail without knowing who or what I am responding to. 

Without going into extreme and convoluted explanations regarding who and what is being represented in CollarMe profiles, I would just ask these pertinent questions:

  • If you are a femdom who is seeking a submissive/slave, and especially one who is expected to be real-time, why do you not indicate a specific locality in your profile?

  • If you are a femdomme, why would you expect a detailed profile and letter of introduction from a person who may not be able to serve you in real time because of location and travel restrictions?

  • Why do you choose not not respond to a polite request for a specific location only?

I live in California and cannot relocate.  Having said that, California is a very large state, so why not say that you are in either southern, central, or northern California?  Is this too much to ask, or are you worried that someone in a city of several hundred thousand people will actually know who you are and will blow your cover?

I think that I speak for many submissive here.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:32:07 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		Safety first.

She does not want anyone who looks at her profile to know where she is.

Also, she wouldn't tell just anyone...therefore, she asks for some information about you first, some get to know you, and then discusses her personal info.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:35:38 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline 		But why would someone in a city of over 1,000,000 people be so paranoid?  I am not asking for a Zip Code, only a general locality.


< Message edited by addicted2it -- 5/6/2007 3:36:54 PM >

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:37:44 PM   
Alixandria


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

Safety first.

She does not want anyone who looks at her profile to know where she is.


So if she says "Los Angeles" or "OtherBigCity", she's blown her cover?  I totally understand about safety, but there are two people who need to watch out for safety here.  Why should the sub be the one to open himself up to someone who doesn't even have the courage to specify a rough location (like a quadrant of a large state like California)?

Frankly, I think the OP has brought up a very good point as I have listened to many a Domme specify that the sub should reveal all in an introductory post while claiming for themselves the right to total non-disclosure.

Alix


(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:40:46 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		You know, i didn't really answer to your question of concern about the astronimical odds of someone finding you based on simple information. So i feel i should do so.

Let's put it this way.

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:41:10 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I don't think safety is compromised by saying where you live, unless it's some place like Acworth, New Hampshire, population 300.  In that case, they could name a nearby town and still retain anonymity.

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:42:59 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

Safety first.

She does not want anyone who looks at her profile to know where she is.


So if she says "Los Angeles" or "OtherBigCity", she's blown her cover?  I totally understand about safety, but there are two people who need to watch out for safety here.  Why should the sub be the one to open himself up to someone who doesn't even have the courage to specify a rough location (like a quadrant of a large state like California)?

Frankly, I think the OP has brought up a very good point as I have listened to many a Domme specify that the sub should reveal all in an introductory post while claiming for themselves the right to total non-disclosure.

Alix


Yes, Alix, the whole point being that one doesn't have to blow one's cover if they only give a general location.  I totally respect everyone's privacy and their right to it...but if anyone is advertising for a real-time partner, they should at least be willing to reveal a general location.  The thing is...people who place an ad want more than a one-liner response.  If someone like me cannot travel outside of my area, why would I want to approach this person and spend valuable time and energy writing a detailed letter?  I just don't get it.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:44:45 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

I don't think safety is compromised by saying where you live, unless it's some place like Acworth, New Hampshire, population 300.  In that case, they could name a nearby town and still retain anonymity.

MSS


Yeah, for a city with only 100 people, I can understand the reluctance.  However, a person of reasonable intelligence would simply pick the largest and closest city that they were near to.  Is that asking too much?


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:48:14 PM   
HotelDomination


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		MissOchistic
Why would you find out that much information about someone?

I'm puzzled.

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:49:40 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

You know, i didn't really answer to your question of concern about the astronimical odds of someone finding you based on simple information. So i feel i should do so.

Let's put it this way.

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.



I'm not sure that I understand your point taken.  Everyone who posts in the Internet can be tracked via their screen name.  But that's not really the issue or the reason for my post.  It is only to find out if I can serve a domme in real time because of locality and my inability to to move to where they are.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:52:23 PM   
Alixandria


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


So I ask you again.  Why should the risk be totally on the person who responds to these ads.  You have to remember that Dommes are quite clear that they not only want a location from anyone responding to their profiles, but also details like occupation.  And all this for not even giving a quadrant of a very large state they live in.

I agree that stalkers (like yourself apparently) exist, but if you're looking for a real life relationship you have to open up a little bit.

Alix

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:52:26 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotelDomination

MissOchistic
Why would you find out that much information about someone?

I'm puzzled.



In her case specifically, she was hurting people and needed to be found. Luckily i was not of a mind to do her any harm...i was merely using her as an example; even with the smallest bit of information, you can be found in any location, big or small.




_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to HotelDomination)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:53:10 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		This thread is not going to make women want to open up more.

< Message edited by asubmissiveheart -- 5/6/2007 3:55:28 PM >

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:54:04 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotelDomination

MissOchistic
Why would you find out that much information about someone?

I'm puzzled.


Just track your own personal screen name by using a Google search.  I am sure that you will see a link to your posts wherever they are.  All the more reason to use an acronym or coded screen name.

< Message edited by addicted2it -- 5/6/2007 3:56:22 PM >

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to HotelDomination)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:54:35 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		addicted, i'm sorry. It seemed to me you were asking why they refused to give out their personal information or location.

my point was, that's why. YOU may have entirely honorable intentions, but not everyone does.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:55:00 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I firmly agree with the OP here....I live in a teeny tiny town and chose to use the nearest large town that people would recognize so they would have a clue as to where I live.  Chicago Burbs just doesn't cut it...that's  HUGE.  But everyone around here knows Gurnee cause of Six Flags and the Mall...  But that town is big enough that some random person I know is not likely to know I am me!!

D~

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to HotelDomination)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:55:10 PM   
HotelDomination


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		Alixandria and Addicted to it

I agree with you, especially if there is no picture there a general locality surely is pretty basic info, otherwise you may just as well send out ablanket mail to everyone that vaguely matches criteria and we all know how everyone hates that!

There is trust that has to be built, fair enough, and there is basic information which is necessary for filtering purposes. But then according to some posters even the most basic information could be wrong, i.e. males saying they are females.

I have given my number to countless people who never call. Its because I prefer to talk realtime to subs, just to check some sort of genuiness. Those who dont call I tend to assume are not who they pretend to be, or too scared. Either way its their problem not mine. But to get back to the original post, it is entirely reasonable, in my opinion at least. On the other hand, distance is only a problem if you let it be one.

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:56:18 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


So I ask you again.  Why should the risk be totally on the person who responds to these ads.  You have to remember that Dommes are quite clear that they not only want a location from anyone responding to their profiles, but also details like occupation.  And all this for not even giving a quadrant of a very large state they live in.

I agree that stalkers (like yourself apparently) exist, but if you're looking for a real life relationship you have to open up a little bit.

Alix



Because it's a choice.

Posting your location in your profile gives it to everyone. Asking them for theirs is giving them the choice of whether they wish you to have it. And if they do, they are much less likely to be a dangerous person.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 3:58:40 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

addicted, i'm sorry. It seemed to me you were asking why they refused to give out their personal information or location.

my point was, that's why. YOU may have entirely honorable intentions, but not everyone does.



MissOchistic, thank you for that.  I completely understand why some people would not choose to provide certain information to others.  Maybe my lack of understanding comes from not knowing the level of computer savy that others have or don't have.  Thank you very much for your input.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 4:01:03 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

I firmly agree with the OP here....I live in a teeny tiny town and chose to use the nearest large town that people would recognize so they would have a clue as to where I live.  Chicago Burbs just doesn't cut it...that's  HUGE.  But everyone around here knows Gurnee cause of Six Flags and the Mall...  But that town is big enough that some random person I know is not likely to know I am me!!

D~


Yeah, I know Chicago "burbs."  I went to school there.  And I wouldn't expect anyone to give me that kind of information.  But if they only said that they lived in Chicago, that would be enuf.  ;-)


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 20
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