Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 4:07:45 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

You know, i didn't really answer to your question of concern about the astronimical odds of someone finding you based on simple information. So i feel i should do so.

Let's put it this way.

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.



I'm not sure that I understand your point taken.  Everyone who posts in the Internet can be tracked via their screen name.  But that's not really the issue or the reason for my post.  It is only to find out if I can serve a domme in real time because of locality and my inability to to move to where they are.



Hi,
I'm going to have to be quick (sorry about that) what MissOchistic said about finding someone happened to a good friend of mine. He used her id (which had a name in it, not her's luckily) and information in her profile and tracked down someone which went to our school. He had her dorm room, e-mail and phone number. He could very easily have found this girl and gone after her. Thankfully this wasn't my friend and she was able to get the guy to believe he had the wrong person; and then blocked him. We went to school in a small town, ie only one school there.

Now if I was looking, I might have my area listed. But I have a screening tool in my profile that should show if you’re local or not. Now I would like a detailed profile and a nice letter of introduction. The reason is simple I don't like getting e-mails which say “want to chat?” or “want to see naked body part?”...since I would like to know something about the person. Such as what do you like to do for fun during your free time (vanilla)? I would be looking for a well rounded person. Also filling in the profile shows that you are seriously looking for thing, just my opinion (I do know sometimes people just don't know what to write which is more then fine). And I do ask questions from people, and I’m more then happy to answer questions back.

The reason I wouldn't respond to a request for my location before getting to know something about you is, well you might be a crazy stalker. Since I don't know you from Adam. And I wouldn't need to know your location right away either (just the state), is for the same reason a little bit of trust. I'd give that information out after maybe 3 e-mails; once I know you’re looking for the same kind of relationship that I am.
I hope that answered your questions.

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 4:11:28 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotelDomination

Alixandria and Addicted to it

I agree with you, especially if there is no picture there a general locality surely is pretty basic info, otherwise you may just as well send out ablanket mail to everyone that vaguely matches criteria and we all know how everyone hates that!


Not even expecting a photo, but to ask for a detailed and personal letter to someone who may not even exist, then I do have the right to make that exclusion.  I always, and without exception, send a personal note or letter.  Nothing less would be an insult.  I have even been asked if I had a form letter that I send to all prospective dominas.  I would never do that. 

There is trust that has to be built, fair enough, and there is basic information which is necessary for filtering purposes. But then according to some posters even the most basic information could be wrong, i.e. males saying they are females.

Yes, and there are "dommes" who say that are females, but who are not.  People are not always who they say they are, and I completely understand that.  However, I always make my decision whether or not to persue the relationship based upon the feedback, or lack thereof, that is received.

I have given my number to countless people who never call. Its because I prefer to talk realtime to subs, just to check some sort of genuiness. Those who dont call I tend to assume are not who they pretend to be, or too scared. Either way its their problem not mine. But to get back to the original post, it is entirely reasonable, in my opinion at least. On the other hand, distance is only a problem if you let it be one.


Well, you are very trusting, which is a virtue rather than a fault.  But this is only my viewpoint.  I suppose I am really looking at those dommes or so-called dommes who do not have any integrity...or at least lack the integrity that would count me out as their prospect.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to HotelDomination)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 4:17:40 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunNMoon

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

The reason I wouldn't respond to a request for my location before getting to know something about you is, well you might be a crazy stalker. Since I don't know you from Adam. And I wouldn't need to know your location right away either (just the state), is for the same reason a little bit of trust. I'd give that information out after maybe 3 e-mails; once I know you’re looking for the same kind of relationship that I am.

I hope that answered your questions.


Sorry.  That just doesn't fly.  How would I or anyone know who and where you are in a large city?  For crying out loud, let's get real!  I know that I am anything but a stalker, which really doesn't even address the fact that I am just someone who is inquiring about the possibility of a local contact.  If you are one who is not comfortable with providing your locality, but is OK with saying what state you are in, why not just provide me with the largest city closest to you?  How would I know who or where you are?  At this point, isn't not about trust, but more about location?  Geez!

< Message edited by addicted2it -- 5/6/2007 4:18:08 PM >


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 4:33:33 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
My post is not about security and safety, for security is a major issue.  I am also very aware that there are those who would be dishonest, but I am not one of them.  I am only a person who expects and appreciates honesty, and I am more than willing to trust those who give me a reason to trust them.  I only ask that those people who might be a good match for me would at least tell me which major city they are close to, rather than to be so security-conscious that it might limit their search.  I have come to realize that those who are so paraniod as to filter their own general locality is their loss and not mine.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 4:35:45 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

Sorry.  That just doesn't fly.  How would I or anyone know who and where you are in a large city?  For crying out loud, let's get real!  I know that I am anything but a stalker, which really doesn't even address the fact that I am just someone who is inquiring about the possibility of a local contact.  If you are one who is not comfortable with providing your locality, but is OK with saying what state you are in, why not just provide me with the largest city closest to you?  How would I know who or where you are?  At this point, isn't not about trust, but more about location?  Geez!


That's if they are in a large city. And my state only really has one large metro area (it’s a big state). I'm also from it, and trust me it's like living in a small town (I run into people I went to high school with on a regular basis). Also remember not everyone here is from a state with lots of large cities (or just one). It works if you’re in a heavily populated area, but for people in the Midwest it's a lot of small towns?

Again if I was looking, it would be; do I have anything in common with you; that I would desire to get to know you better. But I’m a very weary person when it comes to meeting people from online.

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 5:02:59 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline
Addicted, I think you're just going to have to decide not to write detailed letters of introduction to people who don't indicate their location.  I too find the safety concerns a little irrational, but people have their own comfort levels.

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 6:00:34 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:


Frankly, I think the OP has brought up a very good point as I have listened to many a Domme specify that the sub should reveal all in an introductory post while claiming for themselves the right to total non-disclosure.

Alix




I think you found a Domme not worth your time.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 6:03:15 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

You know, i didn't really answer to your question of concern about the astronimical odds of someone finding you based on simple information. So i feel i should do so.

Let's put it this way.

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


Not much point in hiding the information if you're that worried then, is there?

Sorry, I keep playing Devil's Advocate here. Must be something in the water.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 6:26:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I'm not sure I understand the questions of the OP.  If local only is what you are looking for, why do you not define your search only to Those who fill this requirement?  If Dommes are not secure in giving their general location to everyone, They have that right, just as you have the right not to send a detailed letter of introduction.
 
Maybe you want too much all at once.  I prefer to err on the side of caution.  I won't give out many particulars until I know there is a definite "click" (doesn't happen often here) between a potential submissive and Myself.  That usually isn't an automatic thing brought on by an introductory email.  There has to be more to it than that.  I would back away quickly from anyone who wanted to know too much about Me from a random email.

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 8:52:06 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm not sure I understand the questions of the OP.  If local only is what you are looking for, why do you not define your search only to Those who fill this requirement?  If Dommes are not secure in giving their general location to everyone, They have that right, just as you have the right not to send a detailed letter of introduction.
 
Maybe you want too much all at once.  I prefer to err on the side of caution.  I won't give out many particulars until I know there is a definite "click" (doesn't happen often here) between a potential submissive and Myself.  That usually isn't an automatic thing brought on by an introductory email.  There has to be more to it than that.  I would back away quickly from anyone who wanted to know too much about Me from a random email.


I am in no way looking for a quick fix.  And with CollarMe.com, you cannot refine your search to only those who are THAT local to you.  Listen, I have no problem with someone who does not want to compromise their personal and private information...but again, why would anyone in a commuity of, let's say, 100,000 people, have a problem with saying what city they live in?  I just don't get it...and I never will.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 9:03:12 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunNMoon

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

Sorry.  That just doesn't fly.  How would I or anyone know who and where you are in a large city?  For crying out loud, let's get real!  I know that I am anything but a stalker, which really doesn't even address the fact that I am just someone who is inquiring about the possibility of a local contact.  If you are one who is not comfortable with providing your locality, but is OK with saying what state you are in, why not just provide me with the largest city closest to you?  How would I know who or where you are?  At this point, isn't not about trust, but more about location?  Geez!


That's if they are in a large city. And my state only really has one large metro area (it’s a big state). I'm also from it, and trust me it's like living in a small town (I run into people I went to high school with on a regular basis). Also remember not everyone here is from a state with lots of large cities (or just one). It works if you’re in a heavily populated area, but for people in the Midwest it's a lot of small towns?

Again if I was looking, it would be; do I have anything in common with you; that I would desire to get to know you better. But I’m a very weary person when it comes to meeting people from online.



Hey, California is a very big state, and a liberal one.  It's not like the midwest or the northeast.   But again,  if you just say that you are near a large, metropolitan area, then why is this such a big deal?  If one is truly looking for a sub, then why not give a locality within say 100 miles?  It's not rocket science, is it?


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 9:07:35 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Addicted, I think you're just going to have to decide not to write detailed letters of introduction to people who don't indicate their location.  I too find the safety concerns a little irrational, but people have their own comfort levels.


No offense intended towards you or anyone else, but well, duh...I think I figured that out on my own...but it is still a pet peve of mine and worthy of a topic of conversation here.  And maybe, just maybe, it will clue some advertisers into making their ads more specific.

< Message edited by addicted2it -- 5/6/2007 9:10:16 PM >


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 9:14:06 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


So I ask you again.  Why should the risk be totally on the person who responds to these ads.  You have to remember that Dommes are quite clear that they not only want a location from anyone responding to their profiles, but also details like occupation.  And all this for not even giving a quadrant of a very large state they live in.

I agree that stalkers (like yourself apparently) exist, but if you're looking for a real life relationship you have to open up a little bit.

Alix



Because it's a choice.

Posting your location in your profile gives it to everyone. Asking them for theirs is giving them the choice of whether they wish you to have it. And if they do, they are much less likely to be a dangerous person.



Do you mean like a Zip Code?  I never see anyone posting their Zip Code.  I mean, get a life!  How would anyone be able to find a person who lives in a town, small or large, without a Zip Code?  Just take a look at some of the photos posted.  How in the hell can people simply post a photo of themselves and then say that they do not want to compromise their identity???


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 9:22:00 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


So I ask you again.  Why should the risk be totally on the person who responds to these ads.  You have to remember that Dommes are quite clear that they not only want a location from anyone responding to their profiles, but also details like occupation.  And all this for not even giving a quadrant of a very large state they live in.

I agree that stalkers (like yourself apparently) exist, but if you're looking for a real life relationship you have to open up a little bit.

Alix



Well, I don't know who's a stalker and who isn't, but my reason for posting this is simply to get people who DO post to realize that there are some of us who cannot relocate.  It is a need-to-know issue and nothing else.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 9:25:55 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

Safety first.

She does not want anyone who looks at her profile to know where she is.


So if she says "Los Angeles" or "OtherBigCity", she's blown her cover?  I totally understand about safety, but there are two people who need to watch out for safety here.  Why should the sub be the one to open himself up to someone who doesn't even have the courage to specify a rough location (like a quadrant of a large state like California)?

Frankly, I think the OP has brought up a very good point as I have listened to many a Domme specify that the sub should reveal all in an introductory post while claiming for themselves the right to total non-disclosure.

Alix




Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I bow to your infinite wisdom.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to Alixandria)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 9:30:47 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
I see the OPs point. In a state like Texas where you can drive for 10 hours and still be in the same state, I think an indication of which part of the state in which one resides is reasonable. My likelihood to write to someone who lists Texas as the location is significantly less than for someone who I see to be reasonably local.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic
i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.


Did I understand this correctly? You were able to get her full name, age, and location from her friends and were then able to obtain the additional information? But could you have tracked all this information if all you knew was her screenname, age, and general location?

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 5/6/2007 9:35:00 PM >

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/6/2007 10:12:38 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

I am in no way looking for a quick fix.  And with CollarMe.com, you cannot refine your search to only those who are THAT local to you.  Listen, I have no problem with someone who does not want to compromise their personal and private information...but again, why would anyone in a commuity of, let's say, 100,000 people, have a problem with saying what city they live in?  I just don't get it...and I never will.



I have no problem providing a general area of location if asked.  On my profile I list my state only, but that is not for safety concerns, it has more to do with the fact that I may be relocating to another area, and would rather keep my options open. 

However, you CAN define your search so that it is City specific.  If you are looking for more than one location, why not do several searches.  Example: Nearest big city A, one for local city B, etc.  CM does allow this and those who have posted at least a general area will appear in those searches, this way, you can avoid those who are less specific.  Now, if you are complaining that doing more than one search is a bit of a hassle, well, I predict it would be a better option than simply complaining about those who are not comfortable giving details...they likely will not change their mind.

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Ask a Mistress Forum FAQ
Profile Help

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/7/2007 3:29:25 AM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.

So, just saying...it's much more dangerous than appears.


So I ask you again.  Why should the risk be totally on the person who responds to these ads.  You have to remember that Dommes are quite clear that they not only want a location from anyone responding to their profiles, but also details like occupation.  And all this for not even giving a quadrant of a very large state they live in.

I agree that stalkers (like yourself apparently) exist, but if you're looking for a real life relationship you have to open up a little bit.

Alix



Because it's a choice.

Posting your location in your profile gives it to everyone. Asking them for theirs is giving them the choice of whether they wish you to have it. And if they do, they are much less likely to be a dangerous person.



Do you mean like a Zip Code?  I never see anyone posting their Zip Code.  I mean, get a life!  How would anyone be able to find a person who lives in a town, small or large, without a Zip Code?  Just take a look at some of the photos posted.  How in the hell can people simply post a photo of themselves and then say that they do not want to compromise their identity???



Like I posted earlier...I did it. That was with absolutely nothing but a screen name.

A very savvy person/person with connections can do it with almost nothing.

With each new piece of information you provide, you widen the range of people who are able to find you by making it easier and easier.

Also, without further information, there is absolutely nothing I can do with a photo short of flying all over the country waving it around and asking people if they know the person.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/7/2007 3:34:57 AM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

I see the OPs point. In a state like Texas where you can drive for 10 hours and still be in the same state, I think an indication of which part of the state in which one resides is reasonable. My likelihood to write to someone who lists Texas as the location is significantly less than for someone who I see to be reasonably local.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic
i met a girl who did not give out her real info online. Instead, she used a false persona and pictures for various reasons. She was Meaghan Rose, from Liverpool, UK, about 18. i only spoke to her on one occasion on which we did not discuss any information about her. All this was gleaned from profiles and friends who did not know me in real life, but gave the info to me.

From this, i was able to find her real age, location, phone number, school, and mother. i could have had her physical self within my hands in less than 24 hours. And i got all of it over the internet in a matter of two or so days.


Did I understand this correctly? You were able to get her full name, age, and location from her friends and were then able to obtain the additional information? But could you have tracked all this information if all you knew was her screenname, age, and general location?

Cheers,

Sea


I knew less than that. I ONLY knew her screen name (the rest was fake information). Type that in a google search and you can find small tidbits everywhere that all together add up to more than most people would ever put in a profile.

This is why I never tell anyone anything, I know that it is much easier than most people think to find a person. And if a person wants to hurt you....double the determination. Made me paraniod.

I went through this because she was hurting someone dear to me and needed to be found out. But that won't happen often...the usual reasons are very dangerous ones, someone wanting to get at you...and they could be physically next to you in less than a week.

Ewie.


< Message edited by MissOchistic -- 5/7/2007 3:38:34 AM >


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. - 5/7/2007 7:54:38 AM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

I am in no way looking for a quick fix.  And with CollarMe.com, you cannot refine your search to only those who are THAT local to you.  Listen, I have no problem with someone who does not want to compromise their personal and private information...but again, why would anyone in a commuity of, let's say, 100,000 people, have a problem with saying what city they live in?  I just don't get it...and I never will.


However, you CAN define your search so that it is City specific.  If you are looking for more than one location, why not do several searches.  Example: Nearest big city A, one for local city B, etc.  CM does allow this and those who have posted at least a general area will appear in those searches, this way, you can avoid those who are less specific.  Now, if you are complaining that doing more than one search is a bit of a hassle, well, I predict it would be a better option than simply complaining about those who are not comfortable giving details...they likely will not change their mind.


Yes, I always begin my searches by entering the name of the cities within my county, then move further away from there.  I would say that a comfortable distance would not exceed a 50-mile radius, or even a 100-mile radius.  I also realize that one cannot expect to find a good match with someone local.  I have often found the best matches to be on opposite coasts.

I have also come to the conclusion that those who fail to post the name of their city or general locality in most instances do not post in the Forums here.  Whether or not they read the Forum posts is another story, so my venting here is probably an exercise in futility.


_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Long letters of introduction...only to be rebuffed. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.098