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RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 12:33:43 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Thanks for the replies... I guess what Im really getting at is more in the lines of service.. takeing advantage that way. I know a slaves job is to serve but what about when thats all she ever does.. what about when all other aspects of the dynamic are not beeing done yet she is expected to still clean and such.. I mean feeling taken advantage of that way.

Magik's slave

That's why I left a previous relationship. The important thing is to recognize that's what's happening, and then to decide if this is what makes you feel comfortable. The tact I always suggest, and people have suggested to me, is to begin communicating that you sense a problem. I took that tact in that last relationship and was told, "it's my way or the highway" and she showed me the door, if I had the guts to walk through it. So I got on the on ramp, drove down the highway, and I ended up in a truck stop where I bought a strawberry slushy, which was really good, causing me to also buy a few packages of sweet tarts and a diet Dr Pepper, and I would have continued on down the highway, but there was a drive-in movie theater playing a bunch of Jackie Chan movies, so I went there and started watching, right before I ran into this really strange guy that was selling oranges out of the back of his truck and then...wait, I seem to have gotten off track somewhere.

LOL to to funny!! Thanks I really needed the comady releafe. But good for you for getting out. I guess Im lucky that Master DOESNT want things the way they are!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 81

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 1:12:28 PM

GrizzlyBear

Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
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Sounds like the renewed communication has a good chance of getting you back to where you want to be. That is most fortunate for you. Two-way communication IMHO is the most important factor in keeping any realtionship going long-term, whether it's a vanilla one or the most extreme of M/s.

The mention in your profile that your Master is seeking a Mistress could be the tip of another problem. Being the kind of Dominant who can keep a masochistic and sexual submissive happy requires a lot of energy, and it seems to me that the energy needs to come from a deep satisfaction from doing all of those things. If doing them gets to be a chore, the desire and energy will both dissipate. I hope for your sake his interest in a Mistress is not a symptom of that. It's one thing to want to be topped occasionally, but quite another to desire to serve another. Some can pull it off, and truly be a D/s switch. Some can't.

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GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

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Post #: 82

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 1:13:56 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Ok I have a question

Does it even make sence for a slave to feel taken advantage of by her Master? Can a Master even take advantage of his slave??

Magik's slave

Yes and yes. For me, the real question is what do you want done about it and that would be very situational.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Post #: 83

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 1:15:02 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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MagiksSlave: I know you're already taken, and well, so am I, but my avatar wants to know if it can date your avatar.

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Post #: 84

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 1:22:40 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GrizzlyBear

Sounds like the renewed communication has a good chance of getting you back to where you want to be. That is most fortunate for you. Two-way communication IMHO is the most important factor in keeping any realtionship going long-term, whether it's a vanilla one or the most extreme of M/s.

The mention in your profile that your Master is seeking a Mistress could be the tip of another problem. Being the kind of Dominant who can keep a masochistic and sexual submissive happy requires a lot of energy, and it seems to me that the energy needs to come from a deep satisfaction from doing all of those things. If doing them gets to be a chore, the desire and energy will both dissipate. I hope for your sake his interest in a Mistress is not a symptom of that. It's one thing to want to be topped occasionally, but quite another to desire to serve another. Some can pull it off, and truly be a D/s switch. Some can't.

Honestly I cant really speak for him, but from what I do know is that he wants to be Domme'd ocationaly. He does not seek to be a 24/7 slave or even a full time sub, in fact he doesnt even really look for Mistresses as much as he looks for other switches. From what I know he is much more Domanent then submissive BUT when he hasnt been Dommed in a long time those needs rise up to be much more then usual becuase he isnt getting what he needs, he isnt getting that submissive fix.

I can relate to that and on my part i try and do what I can to help and understand. its a Very confuseing place to be and i can apreaciate that. I can understand as a switch it must be hard to always have to be the Domanent when you are wanting to be the sub at times...

trust me I have been there. I have and still do own a sub of my own and befor I was with Master I found it nearly imposable to Domme my boy effectively becuase I wanted to be the one Dominated. I have and always will be more submissive then Domanent so it got very hard for me (my sub is also a switch but at the time I was beeing Domanent more of the time and I hated it)

So I can understand how this could be part of the problem. In fact this very problem caused a rift between me and my sub and we had split up for some time, we have just resently in the last few months started over again now that my Subby side isnt so needy.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 85

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 1:24:00 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

MagiksSlave: I know you're already taken, and well, so am I, but my avatar wants to know if it can date your avatar.

LOL Sure maybe we can set something up!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 86

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 6/30/2007 1:25:12 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Ok I have a question

Does it even make sence for a slave to feel taken advantage of by her Master? Can a Master even take advantage of his slave??

Magik's slave

Yes and yes. For me, the real question is what do you want done about it and that would be very situational.

Im not 100% sure what you mean

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 87

RE: feeling taken advantage of - 7/1/2007 11:31:20 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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Actions speak louder and truer then words, he is just not that into you.

I hate to tell you this, because i adore you, i have so enjoyed your fiery slave identity, and your steadfast proclamations, and i have really enjoyed watching you grow and evolve and ask questions, instead of knowing all the answers. and too I love, love, and i enjoy seeing some one as devoted as you are to him and to being what he wants, learning this lifestyle, really participating and blossoming into the person they really are, i love syrupy sticky adoration...and slaves are the sweetest and stickiest folks i know.

But i have to say that from the start, many of the things you told us, gave me pause, and i recognize them from my own experience, the the man you are serving really is not pulling his end and has not been for a long time, maybe even from the beginning.

it is all fine and good to teach you and open you, but it feels as though he feels his job is done, and he no longer needs to grow.THAT right there tells me two things

a. he is not the right fellow for you (because you love growing)

b. he is not a very good master....(this does not reflect on who he is as a person, only that a master IMO has hawk like attention to detail, is a lover of learning, cares deeply for his charges and would notice the suffering and pain you are in and make cahnges, and is responsible for himself and those he stewards)

so yes he is not that into you, probably because you want more from him, you want a partner and some one to play with, you want some one to grow and evolve with, and the more you want that the more it echoes his insecurity and to him it feels like pressure, and he has begun to resent you, you just have not taken notice, because you believed the whole "collar for life, slave at heart, master knows best, calling in life" stuff that i am sure he told you in the beginning.

thing is, you are 22, very loving, very beautiful very intelligent, and in need of a partner that equals you.

so my question to you is.....why are you still into him?

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 7/1/2007 11:45:27 AM >

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RE: feeling taken advantage of - 7/1/2007 1:22:40 PM

MagiksSlave

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OY!!!!! The Troll is back!!!!!

and CT Ma'am I do understand what you are saying.. Truth is we are both very new and kinda feeling our way through things, kinda like the blind leading the blind. I understand very much what you are saying, and I understand why you would think that way.. The thing is Master and I have a friendship above all els, our M/s relationship has always come secent to that, even if I did feel we had lost that for some time. I know how Master feels about me, he has always been nothing but honest with me so I have no reason to think he is lieing now, I trust him very much and he has done nothing to hurt my trust, we just got a little off target. A lot of the issues we have been haveing are not do to not careing about eachother but more about growing pains. As I said we are both very new neather of us had much experience going into this and that is bound to have some backlash. I have asked him about the hole "are you not into me anymore" thing well it was more like are you not interested in our relationship anymore.... I posed the question "if I was to not do the service stuff would you still want me around", and his answer was a Yes.. he didnt even need to think about it. People here had put doubts in my head about it but we did talk about that and I trust that Master is telling me the truth about how he feels. He has never been anything but honest. Master may not be up to the standerds you hold Masters too but I beleave there has to be a learning curve and we have to make alowance for learning how to be a Master.. remeber we arent born knowing and as long as he is willing (and he is very willing) to learn from mistakes made I feel that makes him a very good Master even if he is a good inexperiansed Master!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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RE: feeling taken advantage of - 7/1/2007 1:30:37 PM

angelic

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Joined: 1/24/2005
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hi Magik, Really glad to read that you were able to talk with him. As everyone else has said communication is so important.

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~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

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RE: feeling taken advantage of - 7/1/2007 1:33:25 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

hi Magik, Really glad to read that you were able to talk with him. As everyone else has said communication is so important.

Communication is something me and Master have been working on... I have problems communicating my needs.. I have always had a deep routed feeling that I should just take what I get and not ask for more, I guess to me that was like beeing selfish or something, Master is working on getting me over that and letting me know I deserve to be happy and need to ask for what I need and what I want. its been hard but Im working on it.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 91