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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/29/2011 8:20:09 PM

CarpeComa

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Just because an opinion is widespread does not make it considered or good.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/29/2011 8:27:31 PM

Palliata

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Personally I'm more of a Risk Accepted Consensual Kink person rather than a SafeSaneConsensual person, so to me it's whatever both partners agree to. Personally I'd be unlikely to undertake it unless I was just in the next room because I would worry too much about what might happen to the person evne if the statistical risk was minimal (which, honestly, if you tie the bindings properly and don't put them in an overly-extreme position, they would be; how many people experience a fire in their entire lives, let alone over the course of a couple hours a month or whatever?), but whatever makes people happy is good if they're aware of the risks they're taking.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/29/2011 8:31:13 PM

LadyPact

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Nvm.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/29/2011 8:35:49 PM >

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/29/2011 10:04:14 PM

62704

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Ok, put it another way. My submissive would like to go on a tandem skydiving jump (two people in a harness, one chute, one backup chute as usual). As their keeper, the person who is responsible for preventing them from coming to harm, should I refuse to let them on the grounds that the fun isn't worth the unnecessary risk?

That seems shortsighted to me somehow.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 5:08:01 AM

sexyfun25

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For me the answer is simple....don't do that ever, too many things can go wrong for example....
1. Fire
2. Medical condition (heart problem, asthma, seizures, ect)
Even if you leave their medicine, in severe cases of diabetes, asthma, and seizures the meds may not help, they may not be able to yell for help or even speak.
3. Even the healthiest people can suddenly get sick
4. This is never safe and anyone who cares for you will not endanger your life.
5. If this person dies you have gone from Master to Murderer and prisons aren't populated with submissive.
6. You will be found guilty even if it was consensual
7. This could also have a lasting mental effect that will never go away
8. They could loose all trust in you.

*if u decide 2 make this mistake for a punishment or for deranged fun at least take these precautions* ........
1. Make sure u know what meds sub is taking and do leave them with the sub
2. Be honest with each other about any and all medical conditions
3. Leave a plugged up, working, with full signal cell phone in close reach. (Even if u only allow an emergency use only call and otherwise forbid sub to touch it.
4. If sub calls u .....Answer Always even if sub is just freaking out, it is your responsibility to help
5. Also make sure phone is close, on a flat surface so it can't fall out of their reach if they are trying 2 use it in a panic
6. Always leave a key or way 2 quickly free themselves encase of fire
7. If this is for a punishment, video them while gone to insure they obeyed instructions and didn't free themselves
8. Be safe, protect each other, protect yourselves, and always value the trust of another.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 5:21:41 AM

sexyfun25

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That's just a little different don't you think?
If a sub jumps out of a plane or drives their car recklessly they did so of freewill
they aren't locking themself in a cage because they want to, you are putting them there
and if something goes wrong skydiving their are witnesses to that and will be obvious it wasn't your fault
found dead in your home due to illness or fire sustained injuries even if your sub agreed, the police won't
believe you, so keep in mind the danger to yourself as well as to your sub, also if your sub dies in this manner
everyone will blame you...the courts, the jury, the subs parents, any children.
You will not be thought of as a grieving boyfriend, husband, friend or lover.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 5:49:46 AM

Ishtarr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyfun25

That's just a little different don't you think?
If a sub jumps out of a plane or drives their car recklessly they did so of freewill
they aren't locking themself in a cage because they want to, you are putting them there

No, I don't think it's different at all. In fact, I think it's exactly the same thing. It's mature adults choosing to take certain risks because they enjoy taking them.

Are you suggesting that submissives are incapable of wanting to be locked up or tied up, and that they are instead forced by a dominant to enter a cage and then restraint against their own will?
If that's the case for you, I'd reevaluate who you play with if I where you...

From what I've seen, it's FAR more common that it's the submissive who wants to be restrained over long periods of time and be left alone than it is for dominants to want the same. Thus, it is in a lot of case totally the submissive who are locking themselves in a cage and using the dominant as a proxy to do it.

I do agree with you on the risks that the dominant takes by doing the locking up, and on how the rest of the world will view them if something goes wrong.
It's therefore also quite clear to me why it is that this activity is usually much more attractive from a submissive's point of view than from the dominant's point of view.
It makes total sense to me that a lot of dominants aren't willing to participate in such an activity, because there is virtually no reward factor in it for them (they're not the one who get to enjoy the feeling of being restraint) and there is a high risk factor should things go wrong. Further, if they are the type of dominant who enjoy knowing that their submissive is "suffering" somehow while they are absent, there are a lot of other ways they can achieve that same effect which do not have the same risk factor attached to them.
So unless the dominant gets off specifically on the idea that the submissive can't get away without their approval, there is literally nothing in it for them considering that they don't the to experience the emotions and expression of the submissive during the restraint. For submissives who get off on being restraint in and off itself the reward factor is much higher, because they don't necessarily need the dominant to be present to enjoy the experience, in fact the absence of the dominant often can enhance the experience for them.

< Message edited by Ishtarr -- 3/30/2011 5:57:43 AM >

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 7:42:50 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

No, I don't think it's different at all. In fact, I think it's exactly the same thing. It's mature adults choosing to take certain risks because they enjoy taking them.

This.

The attractiveness of the activity or lack thereof isn't the point. It's the fact that no one can tell someone what they should be doing without noticing the giant beam in their own eye regarding their practices. At best they can share the risk and recognize at the end of the day we're all adults. And that means some of us will make good decisions, several bad, and a few horrid ones with unpleasant ramifications. But it's still an individual's right to choose. If the choice is one they come to regret they must live with the consequences. And that has nothing to do with BDSM. That's called Life 101.

At thirty-nine years of age if i have to be told that something is a "flag" it doesn't say a lot for my common sense. And if that's lacking i probably won't grasp the warning either. I get safety. I get sharing risks. But some of this propaganda is complete bullshit. Some of it is ridiculously regurgitated by people that haven't taken one second to consider the stupidity of what they're uttering. They're merely following the herd. And being one of "them" isn't my cup of tea.

Namaste,

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 7:48:46 AM

sunshinemiss

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Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
CarpeComa

for
Just because an opinion is widespread does not make it considered or good.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 9:06:31 AM

strangedesire

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Ever heard of Just World Theory? Embedded in it is the idea that it we take the right precautions, we'll never get hurt. We'll never die.

I've tied my girl's hands behind her back while she's standing, in the past. I will probably do it again. If she trips and can't break her fall with her hands, there is a small-but-real possibility that she could crack her skull, break her neck, or otherwise end up crippled or dead. It would be my fault, too.

There is very little within BDSM - or life in general - that doesn't carry some sort of risk. I think that trying to decide for someone else what risks they should be allowed to take is presumptuous at best.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 9:26:31 AM

62704

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What they said. Whatever it is we're doing with our time, she wants to be there and I want her to be there. I have responsibilities to her, myself and us, and I do consider them carefully. I just don't worry so much about how I might look if things go bad. If I had that kind of mentality, I'd never venture, and thus never gain.

If we want to look at dangers, consider subspace. That's essentially a massive dose of drugs (adrenaline and noradrenaline, serotonin, and most especially various endorphins and enkephalins) we pump into the sub's system (on top of the typical 'affection' hormones that are likely also present, such as PEA and oxytocin), and when they come down there's a number of abnormal vitals - subdrop. Here, have a cocktail of stimulants AND depressants, topped off with a huge helping of narcotics. I'll hold you when you spend an hour or three crashing. For most cases this is WAAAAAY more dangerous than spending time in restraints or a cage without supervision, on the order of several degrees of magnitude.

Note, I'm not advocating the avoidance of subspace.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 9:34:08 AM

ResidentSadist

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Cage

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 3/30/2011 2:11:39 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

No, I don't think it's different at all. In fact, I think it's exactly the same thing. It's mature adults choosing to take certain risks because they enjoy taking them.

This.

The attractiveness of the activity or lack thereof isn't the point. It's the fact that no one can tell someone what they should be doing without noticing the giant beam in their own eye regarding their practices. At best they can share the risk and recognize at the end of the day we're all adults. And that means some of us will make good decisions, several bad, and a few horrid ones with unpleasant ramifications. But it's still an individual's right to choose. If the choice is one they come to regret they must live with the consequences. And that has nothing to do with BDSM. That's called Life 101.

At thirty-nine years of age if i have to be told that something is a "flag" it doesn't say a lot for my common sense. And if that's lacking i probably won't grasp the warning either. I get safety. I get sharing risks. But some of this propaganda is complete bullshit. Some of it is ridiculously regurgitated by people that haven't taken one second to consider the stupidity of what they're uttering. They're merely following the herd. And being one of "them" isn't my cup of tea.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

I feel the same way, porcelaine.

As to the risk....Of course there's a risk, it's teeny. I do risky things every day.

Of course there could be that *one* time when I expire but frankly, if we thought like that we'd never do a quarter of what we do.

If it's risk you wouldn't take, that's fine, but spare the dire warnings.

agirl

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 4/1/2011 10:45:59 AM

InsaneSerenity

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

~ fr
Caged alone? No worries. There is a phone, laptop with internet and battery powered mini flash light in the cage. They can pee in the bowl if they can't wait till I get back.

Cage

a cage like that i would have no problem with. Heck, i would enjoy it, but then again most of my time is spent on my laptop anyways. If someone had the money they could make a larger cage with a bathroom in it.

But being bound with no ways to escape? Not really interested.

Yes, it might be a minor risk, but risks that include the possibility of death if something could go wrong just aren't worth it.

And as was mentioned, if something went wrong the domme would go to jail. No ifs about it, they would be written up as a horrible sick person, and it has been done. All you need to do to prove that is to go check the news section.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 4/1/2011 11:00:28 AM

marylandBondage

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i would never want to be left alone while tied or had someone tied i couldnt do it if they wanted me to

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 4/1/2011 11:20:39 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
As to the risk....Of course there's a risk, it's teeny. I do risky things every day.

That's pretty much my opinion too. I mean seriously. When I lift my eyes away from the computer screen and glance around at the condo it's just really, really hard to evaluate it as a risky environment. It actually looks more like a nice, comfy, and very safe home. Honestly, every time we went camping up in the mountains with bears (lots of bears) was probably way more risky than what's being proposed here. There we DID go to great lengths to avoid unpleasant consequences. But I'm really not imagining a whole lot of people getting all up in arms about going backwoods camping in a national forest.

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RE: leaving sub alone while tied/caged - 4/1/2011 2:13:14 PM

NuevaVida

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I need to chime in here. I agree about minimal risk to being caged and left alone. The likelihood of disaster striking is minimal. If the likelihood was higher, I wouldn't leave my cat unattended every time I go away for the weekend. After all, he's precious to me and I wouldn't leave him otherwise.

How many leave their pets unattended all day while at work?

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