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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 3:51:49 PM   
angelikaJ


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Fr: I just got an email from blowfish; a vendor who sells adult toys.

They have requested than those who were planning on making a purchase to donate money instead.

2 of the sites they listed are:
http://www.newtownyouthandfamilyservices.org/
and
http://www.newtownparentconnection.org/

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I do not have any children of my own.
I was pregnant in 2005 but miscarried; the due date was in December... and even before yesterday, I have been thinking of that a lot.

I do have a nephew and 2 nieces, the youngest is in Jr High.

Today I spent the day with her.
We bought a toy for toys for tots and made another charitable donation elsewhere.
We had breakfast out and ran an errand that she wanted to do.
It was important to both of us that we did this.

I have not stopped shedding tears over yesterday.




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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 6:06:20 PM   
dcnovice


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LizDeluxe

Watching the press conference with the father of one of the murdered children. It took a tremendous amount of compassion for that man to offer his thoughts and condolences to the shooter's family. God bless him.

Amen. That is truly amazing.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 6:06:46 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LizDeluxe

It took a tremendous amount of compassion for that man to offer his thoughts and condolences to the shooter's family.


Just curious: how so?

They're as much victims as anyone. As bereaved as anyone.

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 6:20:26 PM   
littleone14


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They've been releasing the stories of the teachers. The one who hid with 15 kids in a tiny bathroom. The one who hid all of her kids in closets, then died telling the shooter they were all in the gym.........

Its so heartbreaking........

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 6:32:31 PM   
LadyRedRoseToo


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i had to turn it off, it got to be too much. i look at the list of names and ages and all i want to do is cry. one coroner's report was that one child was shot 11 times. 11! what was that sick fuck doing, playing with them until they stopped screaming? i have a six yr old nephew and an eight yr old niece. i cannot fathom them going through something like that, the horror they would be put through. i want to pump some bullets into the perp myself. too bad he's dead already. i can't cry anymore, i'm out of tears.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 7:00:05 PM   
dcnovice


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JAS ---

Thanks for the Mr. Roger's quote. I saw a version of it on Facebook as well and shared it with my brother, who lives in the next town over from Newtown and has been having tough conversations with his kids. He really appreciated it.

Peace,

DC

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 7:37:32 PM   
DomMeinCT


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The Hartford Courant's website has this article about talking to kids, with some good links to other resources at the end.

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if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/15/2012 9:50:02 PM   
dcnovice


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

The Hartford Courant's website has this article about talking to kids, with some good links to other resources at the end.

Thanks! Just shared that with my brother too.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/16/2012 6:31:17 AM   
lovethyself


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My heart and prayers go out to all those affected by this horrible, senseless tragedy. I've been working in a bubble all weekend, so only really heard about this this morning. I have been in tears reading this thread. Hugs to everyone here that needs it. The 2 most powerful healers are time and love. My love goes out to you all.

peace

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/16/2012 6:49:58 AM   
needlesandpins


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words fail me for this. i just don't know what to say. my heart aches thinking of those poor children, and the treachers who tried to save them.

my deepest sympathies for all.

needles

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/16/2012 11:46:48 AM   
JstAnotherSub


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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/16/2012 11:59:08 AM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html



So I read this article. I could sympathize with the author. It sounded exactly like my daughter...from the wanting to kill herself to trying to kill me a time or two, to the emergency room and never knowing what would set her off. My heart breaks for anyone who goes through that. They eventually decided she is a narcissist with anxiety and depression.

She's an adult now and seems to be doing well on her own. I'm just always concerned about her boyfriend and keep wondering if she has done any of the stuff she used to do with me. If she has neither he or she has told me about it but he has told me she gets extremely moody from angry to tears. She has never told him about before she met him. That's what she told me two years ago. If he knows yet, I don't know. To this day I'm still very very careful about what I say to her. The wrong word and it will set her off.

We definitely need for mental illness to be more of an issue. We need to do more to find out the causes, why they are the way they are, what we can do about it. It's becoming an epidemic in the States I think. I'm not sure about the rest of the world. We do hear about isolated cases from the rest of the world but it seems not as much as here.

My heart goes out to both the parents of those lost and to the family of the shooter and to all those who deal with mental disorders on a daily basis. It can be frustrating and leave yourself wanting to have a nervous breakdown.





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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/16/2012 12:29:05 PM   
NuevaVida


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I read the article, too. So hard to process what parents should do in such a situation. My sister, who just lost her husband, is in a similar situation. Her 14 year old son has aspbergers and when not sufficiently medicated or on the right diet, has threatened to kill her. What's a parent to do?

I definitely believe mental health needs more attention in this country. Parents don't always have the right resources or tools.

As for the bodies being left/kept in the classroom, I do understand they needed to be, for forensic processing. I just felt so sad for the parents who had to wait while their child remained there. I can't imagine the pain.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/16/2012 12:31:19 PM   
marie2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html



Lovely. So the kid was put on a "slew of pharmaceuticals" that didn't work, and when his behavior may actually be the result of the that slew of mild-altering drugs, mommy punishes him by taking him to the nut house, but not before brainfucking him and scolding him on the way there. Brilliant. Then just in case that doesn't suck enough, she publicizes his issues complete with his photo and basically profiles him as a potential mass murderer.

If I was this kid and that was my mother, I'd probably wanna stab the bitch to death too.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/17/2012 2:09:59 AM   
calamitysandra


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html



I have no idea what is the truth, but there seems to be more to this:

Want the truth behind ...

< Message edited by calamitysandra -- 12/17/2012 2:10:40 AM >


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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/17/2012 2:28:09 AM   
JstAnotherSub


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I went and read a bit of the blog its self, rather than just read the linked article. I saw a great sense of humor and a woman struggling to understand how to handle a troubled child.

I could very well be wrong, but nothing she mentioned doing in the original article I linked seemed wrong to me. I have seen children carried kicking and screaming up the hallway, I have seen children change completely after a trip to the juvenile hall after they did the wrong thing one time too many, hell in the past 2 weeks I have seen a student have 5 meltdowns and have to be restrained to keep him from hurting him self or others.

Turns out his dad just came home from prison 2 weeks ago. He is so stressed it is pitiful.

Parents struggle with how to handle out of control children. Stories have began to come out that the mom of the killer kept everything about his problems quiet.

IMHO, we have got to make it ok for parents to express their frustrations, try everything they can think of to help a troubled youth, and yes, even turn their child over to professionals if they and the professionals think that is the best thing. They need to be able to do this without fear of being shamed, or being called a bad parent, accused of brainfucking.

Sure, there will be mistakes made. Some folks should not be parents. Some kids are just bad seeds. But we have to begin to look at making resources available and removing the shame from not knowing what to do with an out of control or troubled kid.

The shame needs to end now.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/17/2012 3:09:47 AM   
epiphiny43


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The depths of this tragedy just keep getting worse?
A number of my friends are in Special Ed. They and the families are often completely baffled as to how to help the children. I know one therapist who deals with ADHD and autism who seems remarkably gifted. There are parents who want her canonized for bringing their children back. I can only encourage families to keep looking for someone who actually has a handle on their particular child's issues. No one can help every child, no child is beyond all help. Getting the right people together is the challenge. Funding more effective and focused research is a necessity. Removing most of the psychoactive poisons in our food and environment over the protests of the money focused corporations is probably necessary for our society to survive. Letting everyone who employs someone sell any crap in food unless people drop on the spot has already done enough damage in poor health and genetically damaged children. 1 in 11 American women are getting breast cancer? That didn't come out of nowhere. How many kids are working with impacted nervous systems? Too many!
I'd be a lot happier if the country's priorities were more adult. Millions and billions are spent on attention and press for 'Reality' stars and shows and most mental health clinics are woefully underfunded. The large majority of research is Big Pharm's profit oriented applied science, not basic science that actually results in novel paradigms that lead to transformative work and treatments.
A big part of our present grief started when pharmacology became actually effective in suppressing the symptoms of so many disturbed people. The movement then was to deinstitutionalize them, with optimized meds and handle their treatment in neighborhood clinics near their homes so they would stay engaged with their families and communities. A much better prognosis for most than the insanity of most mental hospitals. But the universal reaction was 'Not in my neighborhood!; and the small distributed treatment centers never happened. Many of the former patients ended up homeless in abandoned buildings or living under bridges, or at home with overwhelmed family, few getting even close to effectively therapeutic meds and actual treatment a fantasy. We are still reaping the whirlwind of that dissociation of our society from it's most needy members.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/17/2012 3:32:20 AM   
calamitysandra


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As I stated, I do not know what the truth is.

However, I, too, did read her blog, and get a different feeling from it than you.
To me, she sounds just a bit too desperate, to serious in her fantasies, too disturbed herself.
Just some red flags (like her 11 year old, who is not the "disturbed" kid, already having a parole officer) too many.
Plus, I really dislike the public outing of her child.

Going from the material online at this point, there is absolutely no way to know what is really going on in this family, but I wanted to present a different perspective.

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/17/2012 7:30:21 AM   
culareD


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

O God we can hardly speak, our minds are so full of questions, that we can barely think.
We are even angry Lord. In this tragic moment we ask that you will help us feel your warm embrace.

Father, you taught us how to love your children and now even in eternity, we ask that you give a special
blessing to the little ones now in your care. We think to day of the pleasures that will not be experienced,
let us also think of the pain that will not have to be endured.

These children will never lose the purity of innocence and at this moment in the midst of feeling great
love and sorrow we ask that you share our burden, as we cannot bear it alone.

AMEN

That's lovely, Poise! Thanks.


I agree...Thank you Poise. <3

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RE: Connecticut shooting at elementary school - 12/17/2012 10:58:51 AM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I went and read a bit of the blog its self, rather than just read the linked article. I saw a great sense of humor and a woman struggling to understand how to handle a troubled child.



This. Very much this. If anyone has ever seen my past posts about my daughter when she was still living with me, they would see the times when I said I wanted to strangle her, I wish she would just go away, etc.....

Yes, it's frustration, not a fantasy of actually wanting to strangle her or give her away. It's simply a way for a parent to let off some steam, and to try and joke about the situation so she doesn't go crazy and have to commit herself as well as her child.

I read her blog. I could totally relate. If that means I'm a bad parent, so be it. A couple of months ago my daughter told me some news that I am so very not happy about. I was angry about it. I told her so. She became angry with me as well and we had it out. After I got off the phone, I talked to Master about it and yeah, I said, sometimes I would like to give her a slap upside the head. It doesn't mean I would actually do it. It means I wish she would actually think about the consequences of things.

I think until you actually have a child like the one that wrote the article, you cannot possibly imagine the pain and heartache and frustration and anger that comes along with it, plus blaming yourself for it and wondering where you screwed up in raising them or something you did or ate when you were pregnant that caused it. It's a nightmare.

So I'm still one who can relate to the blogger and her pain. If one thinks I'm a bad parent, I'm with ya. I think I'm a bad parent every single day of my life because of my daughter's issues.



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