Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Submission & Romanticizing


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Submission & Romanticizing Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 9:45:26 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		maybe it's just the cranky mood I'm in, but while browsing profiles this evening I came across a number of submissive profiles that were so florid it was just plain annoying.  it made me wonder who they were trying to fool, themselves or someone else. 

I also realized that I am the first to romanticize any situation, especially in my personal life.  I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces?  or is it because we want to take something that is a basic need and lift it up as an ideal, worthy of prose?

thoughts, anyone?  

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 9:47:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Frenzy

Life always knocks reality into them.

How they deal with it then is up to them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 9:51:22 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am very much a hopeless romantic but florid profiles make me run for the hills.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 9:59:06 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		greetings..
florid reminds Me of that flushed face appearance.....just speak plainly...openly...nothing else is required.


_____________________________

Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 10:02:30 PM   
themischievous1


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline 		Your post kind of cracks me up, as in amuses me in a wry sort of way, and that's a good thing. I can use a little amusement after what I've been through. I'm not trying to offend either; I think your post is fitting and certainly accurate, at least in my particular situation.

I very recently changed my ID to "switch" because of what you've written here (though I detest the labeling of everyone that goes on):

quote:

  I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces? 


For me, the unpleasant realities were that he didn't bathe, (try once a week), he wouldn't work, he had anger issues (as in was abusive), completely avoided communication, calling everything I said and thought "bitching," and smelly was putting it lightly since he soon began to chain smoke. Add that to the not bathing and I think you get the picture. Needless to say, I bailed.

Naw..there was nothing romantic about being a submissive whatsoever and it succeeded in turning me off to submission so thoroughly that I'm not sure I'll desire to experience that state of being again for quite some time.

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 10:07:32 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

For me, the unpleasant realities were that he didn't bathe, (try once a week), he wouldn't work, he had anger issues (as in was abusive), completely avoided communication, calling everything I said and thought "bitching," and smelly was putting it lightly since he soon began to chain smoke. Add that to the not bathing and I think you get the picture. Needless to say, I bailed.

Naw..there was nothing romantic about being a submissive whatsoever and it succeeded in turning me off to submission so thoroughly that I'm not sure I'll desire to experience that state of being again for quite some time.


How unfortunate for you that it worked that way in your relationship

Perhaps if you tried again and tried to discover if the person had a history of sloven behavior it would work better. Who wants a stinky lazy dominant?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 10:22:39 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		I think most people romanticize or glamorize many things in life.  Everything tends to come with a Good and a Bad price tag.

Now, there are certain aspects of my past relationships I have romanticized and have come to dearly embrace.  There are things I have romantic dreams about for my future.  However, I'm also aware of the Nightmare aspects too...  Call this a an ideal romanticized version of heaven and hell.  A deeper understand and appreciation for the not so good things. 

I tend to be an incurable romantic at heart.  I think many people get burned out on romantic notions in time, and give up on their dreams.  While it's impossiable to 100% reach your romantic ideals... if you obtain 75% or hell even 50% of your dreams and desires you are better off.   Too many people shit can their dreams and romantic notions, give up on what they want in life, only to find themselves older, bitter, jaded and cynical of the world around them.  

We all need something to believe in, something to strive for in our lives, something that drives and motivates us.  Some Hope, Some Dream, some vision of our future and what we want out of life.   Without these things we are simply passing time in the waiting room of funeral home waiting for our time to be up.

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 10:58:36 PM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		I think romantic ideals and fantasizing are fine so long as one can keep it in perspective. Once Romance gets in the way of perception and honesty then it is a problem.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/16/2007 11:16:29 PM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		It's not too surprising that they do.  It has a glamour to it much as any kink does.  It takes some time before reality sets in and they either sink or swim.  Oh, and don't let that turn you off to all doms.  There's as many dumbass doms as there are subs I'd wager.

_____________________________

Knowledge is Power. Wisdom is God.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 6:29:43 AM   
PrincessEllie


Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline 		There are as many florid sub profles as there are Dom ones. I've seen more than a few that made me giggle because they were so completely over the top.

I always tried to keep my profile short, to the point, and down to earth. None of that yucky romance novel crap [where everyone's shirt is falling off and the swords are always from the wrong century!]


_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 6:41:56 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		lighthearted,
 
i certainly agree with those profiles that read like a scene out of a romance novel! LOL! my favorites are the ones that promise the submissive to take to "never before experienced heights of pleasure and passion". i have actually "played" with someone like that - reality is always the equalizer :-)
 
But i am a romantic at heart and i do believe there are romantic D/s relationships out there. Fortunately for me, my idea of romance does not read like a Daniel Steel novel! i wouldn't mind a little action like Anne Rice's Beauty Trilogy though :-)

< Message edited by dawntreader -- 5/17/2007 6:44:39 AM >

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 6:43:54 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie

[where everyone's shirt is falling off and the swords are always from the wrong century!]



Hehehe!!!So true!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to PrincessEllie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 6:44:34 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Some of the things I find amusing are the adjectives used by some men to describe the lifestyle.  Some that I've noticed include:  "lovely lifestyle", "our beloved lifestyle", "I am a dominant of romantics".  I'm not sure what they are trying to communicate.  Are they trying to convince me of their romantic nature? 

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 6:46:29 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Not to judge too harshly, but those make me think more that they are vanilla looking for bigger fishing grounds~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 6:49:49 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Yes, exactly.  There something not-quite-right with a dominant who seems too romantic.  Not that there's anything wrong with dinners and flowers, but some of these guys are trying too hard.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 7:05:32 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		The sub frenzy thing makes them a little blind. Reality will set in hopefully at some point. I am very blunt and to the point so those type of profiles do make me nauseas. Actually alot must buy into it because they are still here.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 5/17/2007 7:06:00 AM >

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 7:14:14 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		It was a bright summer day...the sweet soft breeze was blowing gently over our naked bodies as Master had just finished a good flogging session....OH!!...i'm sorry what was the topic?......LMAO...(sorry i just couldn't resist...)

< Message edited by imthatacheyouhav -- 5/17/2007 7:22:10 AM >

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 7:19:13 AM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Yes, exactly.  There something not-quite-right with a dominant who seems too romantic.  Not that there's anything wrong with dinners and flowers, but some of these guys are trying too hard.

Now would something like this be too Romantic in your book?
How about holding a long stem rose between your teeth without breaking, while being bound and ravanged in some assuming position, the oil cover your body glistens in the dark candle lit room.. Ohh.. the sounds of a flogger cracking down while classical music plays in the background... slowly the milky whiteness of your skin slowly begins to turn blush red with each stroke.  Then after a bit, I stop... remove the rose from between your teeth.. and feed you chineese take out with a pair of chop sticks.  

OH Hell with it, forget the romance.. perhaps I'd just simply pillage ya like the proper domly caveman that I am after you bought into my romantic line of BS  LOL.... 

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 7:21:21 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Damn, I sort of liked the part where you fed me Chinese with chop sticks.  Shhhhh....don't tell anyone I said that.    

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submission & Romanticizing - 5/17/2007 7:30:36 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Yup....some profiles remind me of Massengill douche commercials....fields of flowers....breezes blowing soft cotton ankle length skirts....white sand beaches with waves licking at your feet....

You buy into it and get them home and realize they all still smell like vinegar.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Submission & Romanticizing Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094