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Are you Dominant? - 5/22/2007 6:40:01 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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A person  is not a Dominant/Domme unless he has a submissive to complete him/her in the same way A woman is not a Mother until she has a child...she may have motherly feelings, but she is  not called "mother' until she has a child.....
I read this on another site and would love to hear your thoughts on this....


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/22/2007 6:42:30 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I consider it to be an innate orientation denoting what intimate personal relationship a person IS fulfilled in.  It does not matter if they are actually in such relationship or not.

I also believe this about master and slave, though many disagree.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/22/2007 6:47:53 PM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		I am submissive, despite my current relationship status.  I've always been submissive, and always will be.  Even in the games I play online, I hate being a squad leader or commander...I just like doing my part.  At work, I turned down a management offer due to the fact that I seriously dislike being in charge.  I have a need for someone else to be in charge, and a need to submit to and serve them.  Just my $0.02...

-Einzelgänger

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/22/2007 6:48:36 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		I'm heterosexual...
...but only when I'm actually fucking.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/22/2007 6:49:03 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I agree with LA.  The dominant may not have someone to submit to them but do they not still identify as one? Does having a sub make you not one? I don't think so.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 12:09:44 AM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		A mother is defined by external factors, the fact that she has a child.  A Dominate is defined by internal factors.  He/She is what He/She is regardless of ANY external factors.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 12:25:03 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Grrr.  I hate people getting confused over wordings.   Seriously.

Ah wells.  Here's the deal.

You're saying a Dominant is one who participates in a D/s relationship.  You're right to say that a Dom is only a Dom when he has a sub as that's the only time he's in a D/s relationship as a Dom.

Some responders have disagreed.  They see a Dominant as one who would be a Dom under ordinary circumstances in a relationship, should they currently be in such a relationship or not.  They're right for what they mean by the word.

Now you all agree with eachother.  No need to "give opinions" on the issue.  Be happy 'n such.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 2:08:22 AM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		To me a Dominant is a Dominant if that is what he is, as to a mother and or father anyone can be a motherfather even if they have not had children, if you are raising a child then you are a mother or father which ever the case maybe, some sperm or an egg does not mean you are a parent.

P.S. Thanks for posting the question that you saw from the other place i like reading what others think and give food for thought,

Thanks

beanie

< Message edited by ennaozzie -- 5/23/2007 2:10:23 AM >

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 3:45:29 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

A person  is not a Dominant/Domme unless he has a submissive to complete him/her in the same way A woman is not a Mother until she has a child...she may have motherly feelings, but she is  not called "mother' until she has a child.....
I read this on another site and would love to hear your thoughts on this....



Then you must feel that no a dominant is a dominant regardless... because I don't know not one dominant who has gestated their submissive.



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MstrssPassion


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 3:49:53 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

A mother is defined by external factors, the fact that she has a child.  A Dominate is defined by internal factors.  He/She is what He/She is regardless of ANY external factors.


so very true....

because I can bet that every woman who has not been pregnant but rather raised their children through adoption or through marriage (step-mom) would tell you straight up that she is a Mother to these children even though she didn't give birth to them.

& what of Fathers?

Are they figments of fable? They don't carry a child. Does this invalidate their being a Father?

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 3:54:41 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I am just being pedantic - but the title is completely different to the post.
 
Being dominant is not the same as being a dominant.
Because I could response to the title that I am dominant.
However I am not a dominant.
 
So taking from the post itself rather than the title - I would feel more comfortable responding if you expanded on, for example the mother example - as I would disagree with it.  You can be a mother without having a child if you have children who view you as a mother.  That doesn't make them your children, but you can still be a mother 'figure'.  In the same breath, having a child, doesn't a mother make.  Same goes for dominance.  You don't have to have the oppositie(a submissive or slave) if you have people who view and accept your dominance and visa versa.
 
Peace
 


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 4:00:31 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I have a wall plaque that my Grand Mother embroidered. She gave it to me as a gift right after I had my first Daughter. It says:

Anyone can be a Mother
But it takes someone special to be a Mommy



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MstrssPassion


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 4:49:31 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

A person  is not a Dominant/Domme unless he has a submissive to complete him/her in the same way A woman is not a Mother until she has a child...she may have motherly feelings, but she is  not called "mother' until she has a child.....
I read this on another site and would love to hear your thoughts on this....

Generally disagree with the logic of the statement.
 
My own definitions:
 
A husband is always a man but a man is not a husband unless validated by another - wife.
 
The mother in your example is correct - is validated by having a baby.
 
A Master is always a Dominant but a Dominant is not a Master unless validated by owning a slave.
 
A slave is always a submissive but a submissive is not a slave unless owned by a Master.
 
My being a Dominant does not need another's validation anymore than my being male, hetero, Australian and allround lifestyle guru (lol) does - I just AM...!
 
Lastly, a Dominant *without* a submissive (such as yours truly) is just lonely and frustrated by all the attractive, highly spankable vanilla butts about.... lol  Still a "much-mighty" Dominant but....
 
Focus.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 4:58:53 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

A person  is not a Dominant/Domme unless he has a submissive to complete him/her in the same way A woman is not a Mother until she has a child...she may have motherly feelings, but she is  not called "mother' until she has a child.....
 
Being an Owner is contingent on having someone to own, but being Dominant is a personality trait as wel as a distinction.  By the above logic, a submissive isnt really a submisive unless they have a Dominant to complete them.
So, if there are no single Dominants and no single Submissives... ther arent going to be any getting together since they cant tell who one another are.
And where would this lead all the Doms who play at parties and such but do not choose to own a sub themselves? Are they situationally Dom?
The quote makes the point the original person wanted it to, however its the opening to a fight about naming that is about as unarguable as the Submissive/Slave one. Its all a matter of personal choice for nameing and titles.
 
Hope that made sense, its early in the AM
DV


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 5:04:07 AM   
tulipgoose


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		There are many Dominants and submissives who have no partner, and many who never will, by choice or not. These are traits in personality, above and beyond sexuality or kinky play. This would be like...... saying someone is not a writer if they are not in fact writing anything at the moment, even after having been published many times in the past, and many times to come (publication not even needed here, but as example). Also, I know many mothers who do not in fact have children. Those who have lost them, those who never had them, those who simply ARE. Again, it is a trait.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 5:05:13 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Focus

The mother in your example is correct - is validated by having a baby.

By have do you mean that they were pregnant & delivered the baby or do you mean they simply physically have a child they are raising?

I say this because many women are Mothers to children they did not physically carry inside their own bodies.

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MstrssPassion


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 5:10:30 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		If we consider that many are the opposite privately from what they are in their jobs, we begin to see how complicated the whole subject is. Someone could be dominant in his/her career and have work submissives surrounding him, yet not be dominant. So, my point is that having a sub doesn’t make one a Dom while not having a sub doesn’t make one less a Dom. Don’t confuse any of this with thinking you can recognize Doms and subs in the vanilla world.

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 5:19:02 AM   
BeatMeDaily


Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

A person  is not a Dominant/Domme unless he has a submissive to complete him/her in the same way A woman is not a Mother until she has a child...she may have motherly feelings, but she is  not called "mother' until she has a child.....
I read this on another site and would love to hear your thoughts on this....


so, everyone is a blank page until somebody writes on it?  No

You are what you are and nobody else needs to validate it.
And what of switches?  I'd say they are more flexible, understanding both sides.
Are they dominant, are they submissive? YES  and YES


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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 5:30:35 AM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

A person  is not a Dominant/Domme unless he has a submissive to complete him/her in the same way A woman is not a Mother until she has a child...she may have motherly feelings, but she is  not called "mother' until she has a child.....
I read this on another site and would love to hear your thoughts on this....


and what are you? submissive or Dom, your profile says both.
quoted from your profile: "I enjoy topping 20 something sluts"
But you're listed as submissive..
How do you validate yourself in each role?
 

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RE: Are you Dominant? - 5/23/2007 5:30:55 AM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		I swear to freaking Bob, sometimes I think everyone here is a closet taxonomist with a hardcore semantics fetish.

I mean that with love, but seriously. Sheesh!

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