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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 6:45:42 AM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		Smiles...I am an owned yet to be collared slave who is in a sexless poly relationship. My Sir controles when or if I get to cum or who I may be with sexually. And while I enjoy sex to a certain degree, and for me personally it is a huge act of submission it is not a need. My purpose it to serve my Sir to enhance his life and make his life easier. In doing this I find great joy and satisfaction along with an overall sense of well being. Do I miss sex? Yes at times very much so but it is not the core of what my service to my Sir is about.

Keep your chin up think positive. Comunicate from the begining that you will not be sexually involved with a potential slave/submissive/play partner. If they can't accept that move on and find one who can. Before I met my Sir I had several play partners and almost always played at every play party or event I went to...but I was only sexual with a couple very close well respected and trusted Dominat friends. I know many others out there who are the same way.

aurora 

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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 7:21:11 AM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline 		*looks up towards the sky*

Thank you, thank you for making me an exotic pet.

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 7:27:52 AM   
peepeegirl5


Posts: 214
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHelios
... why  if  one wishes to be a slave must they expect full intercourse? Why can't one be satisfied to be gotten off by manipulation, fingering pinching the nipples, clit, etc? ... So why can't a slave accept getting off without intercourse?



quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Best of luck


Heh.

< Message edited by peepeegirl5 -- 5/31/2007 7:34:59 AM >

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 7:41:20 AM   
peepeegirl5


Posts: 214
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

It's really annoying that all these subbie-slaves demand sex every time.  Can't they respect me for my mind and emotions?  Please, I'm not just a piece of meat.



hehehehehheh  :)


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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 7:56:27 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHelios

... In many circles a slave gives up all rights to sex, or anything but to be totally submissive in every way shape or form...
 


perhaps those are the circles you would have better luck at finding what you are looking for?
 
it has been this slave's experience that some folks use the labels submissive or slave interchangebly--they make no distinction between the two.  anyone who submits to anything or anyone they wouldn't is called many other things... but slave isn't one of them.
 
for example, you say "My wife is a D/s submissive but she lets Me when I can play".
would she be "letting you" if you considered her a slave?
 
getting down to what it means to be a slave is EXTREMELY subjective.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 8:25:20 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Being a slave does not change one's first and foremost status of human. And needing sex (not wanting, but needing) is a very basic human characteristic. Not only is there the libido to consider but the intimacy that sexual intercourse entails. Getting her off with your hands or a dildo is great fun sometimes but I don't know a single person who would be satisfied forever without the psychological benefits of intercourse.  It's very possible to have a slave who does not have sex with you but you'll probably have to allow her to choose her own lover then on the side.  I doubt you'll find anyone who is willing to forego it entirely. 

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(in reply to MasterHelios)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 8:32:10 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		my Owner and i are kind of discussing this currently so i will try and speak respectfully about this issue but honestly at the same time.

Sex is not only beautiful but it's wonderful in many more ways than I can say.  It's not that we are selfish by asking for this, it's just a common need and a common desire that every human on this earth wants.  BDSM and the activities that we indulge in creates a stimulating effect in our bodies and in our minds.  Do you become errect when you spank a sub or slave?  Do you become errect with any activity that you indulge yourself and your sub or slave in?   If so you should understand where a sub is coming from by becoming horny when she is serving you in whatever way you choose. 

I understand that you are married and want to be faithful to your wife who is also lifestyle oriented but at the same time if your not sexually fulfilling your slave more often than not it's a sure sign that problems will occur.  That slave will probably grow to resent you, and well honestly problems between your sub wife and your sub friends will happen as well due to jelousy.  Honestly it's not fare, and if your bragging about your sex life with your wife to your friend that doesn't help either. 

My suggestion would be, if you really dont want the sex with anyone but your wife, buy a few dildo's and vibrators.  After a good scene, make your sub or slave friend finger herself until orgasm assuming you wouldn't mind watching, or stick a dildo in her and I guarantee she wont care as much especially if she's bound and has a way of feeling used. 

It's just a suggestion but that should get rid of some of the tension, it will never get rid of it all, but at least she will have the feeling of being wanted in a sexual way at least somewhat yet it will never compare to the real thing.

Good luck, this isn't an easy scenerio to get past because it's probably one of the most demanding desires that a human has especially when the activities they are engaging in stimulates them....or at least i know it does me....

(in reply to MasterHelios)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 8:44:18 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHelios
<<snip>>Now that was cool but now I am finding that subbies or slaves demand full sex as part of it. So typical vanilla, and so unlike a true slave that dictates or demands. 


How is wanting sex 'typical vanilla'?? Don't make a statement like that without facts to back it up; also that statement is very out of line. I am not vanilla, yet, I do expect sex {most of the time}, its part of the relationship for me; sex is one of the reasons why past partners an I have played or been together. I don't play, just to play.
 
I think the consensus on the boards is 'true' anything is bs. I am a slave, period, I am a 'true slave' by my definition and by that of mypast partners, who are you to say that someone is or is NOT a 'true slave' because they want sex?!

quote:


 <<snip>>Yet back to My original complaint why if one wishes to be a slave must they expect full intercourse? Why can't one be satisfied to be gotten off by manipulation, fingering pinching the  nipples, clit etc? I also have diabetes so that makes for another problem to be honest here. So why can't a slave accept getting off without intercourse?
Master Helios


'Full intercourse' IS part of things for me; play is normally like foreplay of sorts, its also a way for my parnter an I to bond. Considering that I can cum with a look or in some cases with just hearing my partner's voice, I must be lucky to NOT need intercourse; if the idea is for me to orgasm, thats different, I have a LOT of self-control, I won't allow myself to orgasm when possible. I have my own reasons for why.
 
OP, you need to define 'get off.' Do you mean orgasm? to Cum? They ARE different, they can be done/happen independantly or together.

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:13:25 AM   
fetishnoob


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		lot's of subbies/slaves love to be used and abuse, degraded and humiliated. and i get that. but i just don't see how anyone can enter into kind of relationship where the other person has no regard for you, and any fullfilment they give you is purely incedntal to their own desires, and when they're bored with you, you get tossed out like last weeks garbage

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:17:36 AM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		Good post.  It is one thing to enter into a casual, play situation where no sex is involved.  As for me, sexual intimacy, even if it is very unconventional sexual intimacy is a must.  For me, without physical intimacy, there isn't a relationship.

(in reply to fetishnoob)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:22:59 AM   
bigdaninwi


Posts: 35
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Don't ya just hate whiney doms?

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:28:04 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I don't need intercourse. Honestly (for my own reasons that most know cuz I'ved asked for sooo much advice on it lol) I prefer no actual intercourse at all.

I have a question tho for the OP. Way back yonder in your post you mentioned something to the effect of 'don't mind her getting off', could you/someone/anyone/Bueller 'splain this to me? Does this mean that some sort of sexual physical manipulation is okay? Are you the OP saying that her orgasming is fine so long as you are not having actual intercourse?
Since this is page 4 I'm not expecting the OP to make another appearance so anyone can reply with their enlightened thoughts.

*rambly & confused sorry

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:30:40 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Dude just tie her up and blind fold her and then have some other guy fuck her!  You stay in the room and say things like, "You like that don't you, you fucking slut."  I used to do the same back a few years when my then girlfriend would get seriously wasted....Not wanting to disrupt my card game I would just have one of my friends perform the task at hand while I yelled obscenities from across the room...It worked like a charm....But then I'm a romantic!

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:36:42 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

....But then I'm a romantic!


ROFL!!!!!!!!!

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(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 9:45:55 AM   
peepeegirl5


Posts: 214
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Dude just tie her up and blind fold her and then have some other guy fuck her!  You stay in the room and say things like, "You like that don't you, you fucking slut."  I used to do the same back a few years when my then girlfriend would get seriously wasted....Not wanting to disrupt my card game I would just have one of my friends perform the task at hand while I yelled obscenities from across the room...It worked like a charm....But then I'm a romantic!


ROTFL!


_____________________________

"If we value so highly the dignity of life, how can we not also value the dignity of death? No death may be called futile." - Yukio Mishima

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 11:40:32 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHelios

Now I am married and faithful in that relationship but it does not mean I can't be a Master. My wife is a D/s submissive but she lets Me when I can play. she even helps Me by handing Me My toys, wipes the sweat off the slave, asks if she is ok, rubs the ice in, dries her and brings her off the X frame or Cross.
 
Now that was cool but now I am finding that subbies or slaves demand full sex as part of it. So typical vanilla, and so unlike a true slave that dictates or demands.
 
Yes it is true W/we are to discuss what W/we expect, want and seek in a BDSM relationship but a slave if a Master allows to dictate then loses that aspect os their role. In many circles a slave gives up all rights to sex, or anything but to be totally submissive in every way shape or form.
 
Yet so many I speak to demand this or that so that tells Me they are more subbie then true slave as I am Gorean and Y/you all know a total slave gives up most all rights if not all. Yes some will argue that the Norman books are just a lifestyle suggestion and not to be followed to the letter but then again it gives U/us a great perspective of how it can be lived which I tend to follow closely.
 
One said she couldn't go vanilla. Yes true once you get a taste it is hard to go back. It is a driving force for so many that want to pain or to give the pain depending on their childhood, or lifestyle that caused the initial change in their self.
 
Yet back to My original complaint why if one wishes to be a slave must they expect full intercourse? Why can't one be satisfied to be gotten off by manipulation, fingering pinching the  nipples, clit etc? I also have diabetes so that makes for another problem to be honest here. So why can't a slave accept getting off without intercourse?
Master Helios


You know, I was going to come up with a great, thoughtful answer to this but there really is no need...velvetears, TemptingNviceSub, LordandMaster, dawntreader, MadRabbit, et al have all come up with great responses that, taken together, say it really quite well:

You call yourself Master...a Gorean Master at that...and yet your wife "allows" you to play.
You cannot get it up (or have difficulty doing so) so you want to play non-sexually and not be "expected to satisfy others sexual needs.
You want slaves to act like "true" slaves and service the part of you that loves to give orders and indulge in BDSM play and ignore the sexual part of the definition of sadomasochism and yet, they are not YOUR slaves and cannot look to you to be responsible...as a good Gorean Master should...for other parts of their lives.
Despite the number of slaves who've posted on here before that they do NOT wish to engage in sex, you seem to "attract"/want/subconsciously enjoy those who DO and then...instead of seeking out those mentioned, you come here and complain about how "true" slaves should behave even though...as noted earlier...you are not taking these as YOUR slaves but only as "temporary" slaves with a specific mission.

Tell Me...~put in his best Dr. Phil drawl~...how's THAT workin' for ya?


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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 4:25:20 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

You know, I was going to come up with a great, thoughtful answer to this but there really is no need


Thats what we need here...big long thoughtful answers to the big mysterious question of... why grown adults want to have sex



< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 5/31/2007 4:26:21 PM >

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 4:31:05 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

You know, I was going to come up with a great, thoughtful answer to this but there really is no need


Thats what we need here...big long thoughtful answers to the big mysterious question of... why grown adults want to have sex




*snicker*

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 4:53:46 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Tell Me...~put in his best Dr. Phil drawl~...how's THAT workin' for ya?



Now THAT is funny!
And thanks for the compliment! i usually don't get so riled up - but this guy got to me!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Why do subbies-slaves expect sex? - 5/31/2007 4:58:02 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		yanno .... its mastrs like this that make me cry at night because i am not available

how dare all those fake slaves seek a life with a fulfilling partner ... they are clearly just in this for thr cute accessories

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