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RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:23:43 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover


I'm the first to admit I'm fucked up. I can be honest with myself. That garners a lot of respect. .



No, respect is earned. Being honest is just that...being honest - nothing more or less~


Oh dang! This is like the press. Now I know how famous ppl feel when they're quoted out of context--3 lines taken from a 4-paragraph post! So you're trying to insult me and the only thing u can come up with is saying I'm not respected? Oh, you don't want to give me kudos for being honest either, eh? Go pick on someone else . . . You're starting to get personal.



I want to make sure that you understand that I'm not taking anything out of context. I've read the entire thread and all of your posts from start to finish. I think you are taking general comments and taking them as personal insults.
 
Just a few days ago we had a nice and heated debate on respect and whether it's given or earned. I didn't read anywhere in her post where she said you weren't respected. She was pointing out a flaw that she saw, from her POV, in your argument.
 
Maybe it's time to take a deep breath. You've given a lot of very personal information to the general public and I can certainly understand this being a sensitive subject for you.
 
One man's bravery is another man's foolishness.  

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:26:59 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		 
The OP hasn't many posts under his belt, perhaps that is the source of some 'defensiveness'? I think too that much was taken out of context throughout this thread which is easy enough to do.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:34:00 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		That's true enough, but a lot was said.
 
I'm really feeling my professional life has taken over my personal one...I feel like I've become a referee.
 
"...and in the blue shorts, in corner number 1..."

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:38:26 PM   
BoyLover


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Personal information? You don't even know my name . . . I guess you think I'm being too open but it's not like I'm posting this stuff on a dating forum; I'm talking about BDSM issues and figured this was the place to do it, but I guess not. Anyway, I have nothing to hide. Some love my bluntness and openness, others don't. Don't think I'll be back anytime soon, tho. I never really went on forums before; now I remember why. (This is to everyone: please don't respond with ur opinions on what the "why" possibly is. Just let it go . . . as I am.)

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:43:23 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover


Oh dang! This is like the press. Now I know how famous ppl feel when they're quoted out of context--3 lines taken from a 4-paragraph post! So you're trying to insult me and the only thing u can come up with is saying I'm not respected? Oh, you don't want to give me kudos for being honest either, eh? Go pick on someone else . . . You're starting to get personal.



BoyLover, i am not getting personal nor am i quoting out of context - i merely replied to that section of your post.
You were the one who got personal when you posted that e-mail you sent and wanted opinions on it and divulged your personal history and sexual dysfunction. i am merely expressing my opinion on respect . As to respect, i did not say you were not respected, i just said it is earned not just because one is honest~
And i do applaud you for being honest about yourself - many are not.

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:43:56 PM   
BoyLover


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I honestly didn't mean any insult to anyone from my last post. Spanklette you've been cool with me and don't want u to think I was being disrespectful. I just read my post and thought of all the ways it could be misconstrued so I decided to add this short addendum. 

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:47:50 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		For what its worth I found nothing offensive about your post & I think you did a pretty good job of holding your own especially considering you're at post #18 lol.



It's really easy for things to be misconstrued and misunderstood in a forum & sometimes it just seems to get deeper and deeper.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:49:05 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

Personal information? You don't even know my name . . . I guess you think I'm being too open but it's not like I'm posting this stuff on a dating forum; I'm talking about BDSM issues and figured this was the place to do it, but I guess not. Anyway, I have nothing to hide. Some love my bluntness and openness, others don't. Don't think I'll be back anytime soon, tho. I never really went on forums before; now I remember why. (This is to everyone: please don't respond with ur opinions on what the "why" possibly is. Just let it go . . . as I am.)


I suppose, there are things that I consider more personal than my name or yours, for that matter. By personal, I meant you weren't writing in a general context. You weren't asking a general question, you were presenting an actual, or personal, situation.
 
Don't give up on the CM forums too soon! Sure, people can be harsh, but it's the internet. People say a lot of things on the internet that they wouldn't say to your face.

Edited to add:
I didn't see your last post before I sent my reply.
 
No worries. I generally take things at face value...meaning, I didn't read anything into your post that wasn't there, including rudeness.

< Message edited by spanklette -- 5/31/2007 5:52:13 PM >

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 5:56:31 PM   
BoyLover


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

. . . divulged your personal history and sexual dysfunction . . .


Hmm, it went from issues to dysfuction.

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:06:57 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

I met a sub on here who followed your way, I guess. She called it RISK playing, or something.



Since we're all so completely off the subject...did you mean Risk Aware Consentual Kink (RACK)?

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:32:08 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

. . . divulged your personal history and sexual dysfunction . . .


Hmm, it went from issues to dysfuction.



Sorry. typo..issues it is~
Thing is, people can come on here and discuss whatever issue they want within TOS - this is a public forum. Likewise. others can post their advice or opinions. This was never about what or why you posted but your remark to someone, saying his advice can't be considered because he is at that self-centered stage. We are ALL self-centered no matter how old we are to varying degrees. Your post was about yourself, your e-mail response, your issues, your history... was it not?
 
So, please - don't twist my words and turn benign statements into attacks. We all can learn from the young and the older. i say this from personal experience~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:35:57 PM   
BoyLover


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LOL . . .yeah, that's what she said! I knew it didn't sound right.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:39:55 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
ooo dawn - new photo - how utterly scrummy and yummy you look!
(Apologises for going off topic)
 
Peace
 
 

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:42:36 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Was just thinking the same thing...

Greetings dawn,

How you doin'?

winks and well wishes,

fairer


_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:49:37 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings darkinshadows and dearest fairer,
 
Thankyou...you guys are making me blush - (where is that blush icon?)
 
Yes, after reaching mid 90's and up all week, i thought it was time for a summer picture! LOL! Just wish i was still at the beach!
 
i am doing well but i think the impending full moon is having an effect on me! LOL!
 
pax et lunar lumina :-)
    pasha

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 6:50:49 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

BTW, CuriousLord: A rapist is not the most Dominant, he is merely the most domineering. I would consider the two vastly different.


Most dominant, without the capital D.  Very dominant, just not in the BDSM view of dominance, which tends to come with an assumed level of responsibility- that vast difference you meant.  So, just our choice of words.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 7:01:15 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Actually rape is not about dominance.  It is about violence and power.  To term it would be "dominance" would be to equate one who goes on a killing spree as being someone who sought to dominate others.  They are very different things.  Rarely are rapists seeking to dominate their victims.  I ignored everything about that comment until now, because it seems ridiculous to try to define the point to people who will likely never "get" it anyway.  Rape is not about "dominance" it is about violence.  Plain and simple.  It is insulting to any rape victim to indicate that their attacker was anything BUT a violent, deranged individual.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 7:22:14 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

I didn't say MEN I said HUMANS. Humans' brains aren't fully formed until their late teens. I also don't think I was being volatile at all. It's my opinion about guys 20 and under whom I've met on this site. I don't see how I was attaking anyone. Forums are meant to express our opinions and mine is that a 20-year-old cannot give me good advice about being a master/mistress. I don't know why this bothers u so much. Perhaps it's because u are around the same age? It was also in response to the complete posting so I hope you didn't just read that part.



The human brain is able to function at its highest congnitive ability well before it is fully formed from a physcial persepctive, so irregardless of whether you comment was made to be informative or insulting, it is a vacant statement. And for future reference; Misanthropy comes from a greek word used to describe beligerant behaviour towards mankind in general, not to males in particular.


softness hit the nail on this one.  The mind is "fully developed" (i.e., stops growing and begins to decay) around the late teen years.  Children really are smarter than adults- just, almost always, not as intelligent, so they can do less with this cognative speed.

More age means more experience.  And less ability to interpret it.  Though the effects aren't overly pronounced until mid-life.

This is basically why school is easier as a kid, as is learning just about anything.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 7:28:08 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Actually rape is not about dominance.  It is about violence and power.  To term it would be "dominance" would be to equate one who goes on a killing spree as being someone who sought to dominate others.  They are very different things.  Rarely are rapists seeking to dominate their victims.  I ignored everything about that comment until now, because it seems ridiculous to try to define the point to people who will likely never "get" it anyway.  Rape is not about "dominance" it is about violence.  Plain and simple.  It is insulting to any rape victim to indicate that their attacker was anything BUT a violent, deranged individual.


quote:

ORGINAL: "rape",Wikiepedia
Rape is a form of assault where an individual forces another to have sexual intercourse against that person’s will. Most experts believe the primary cause of rape is an aggressive desire to dominate the victim rather than an attempt to achieve sexual fulfillment.


I get that, here, in the BDSM community, we often romantize dominance and submission.  They become more than the word- they have certain beliefs and responsbilities attached to them.  A rapist is without these responsibilities- and without the blessings of the community.  This does not diminish, however, that a rapist is dominating their victim in an act of sexual dominance.

I do not contend, as this article huts, that all rape is about dominance.  I've argued against it before on here, actually.  But it is, regardless of what its intent is, a dominant act.

Edit:  Not all rape is about violence, either.  Consider a date rapist who drugs his date at a college kegger party.  He just wants pussy.  Plain, simple, crude.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 5/31/2007 7:29:51 PM >

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 5/31/2007 7:37:00 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Want my feedback?  I have two comments.

A.  You're nasty.  Why be nasty?  It doesn't reflect well on you.

B.  You haven't accepted who you are and what you need.  Having fantasies about being humiliated by men is hardly "playing into the age-old stereotypes about womens' 'place.'"  It's just what turns you on sexually.  When you finally accept that you can get off on being humiliated and still be a self-respecting woman, you might be happier with yourself.  And that might make you less nasty, too.

Ask an honest question, get an honest answer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

This is a message I sent to someone in response to his. I wanted to post it to open discussion and get opinions/feedback on what I wrote.

[snip]

Start of message:
Thanks for your "canned" message--one that u send to all the girls? We've been in contact before. It's so great how the subs on here are so important to u that u take the time to remember the ones who rejected you (yes, read that with sarcasm). Are u a switch or what? Your profile is all about your cock penetrations into your slut's holes. No, I don't want to explore all the sick, twisted fantasies in my head--I don't think I should learn to accept the need to be humiliated and used and abused by men. I want to deny that part of myself as long as I can, and continue to get off on it in private, with porn. Why should anybody accept that she's a pathetic cunt who's playing into the age-old stereotypes about womens' "place"?

(in reply to BoyLover)
Profile   Post #: 60
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