WhiplashSmile
Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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Let's take a walk in the park
I'm gonna toss some loose change at the monkey holding the little tin cup, since we're all cranking away and grinding on this thread.
- "Top and Bottom" is often confused with or equated to "Dominance and Submission".
- "S&M" is often confused with or equated to "Dominance and Submission".
- "Humilation/abuse" is part S&M play where mental or physical pain is exchanged.
- Sex is often confused with or equated to "Dominance and Submission".
BDSM without S&M
You can practice BDSM without all the S&M abuse and pain (mental or physical). There are some people with wonder Master/slave relationships. Where the submissive/slave serves as a pleasure slave and never is a S&M plainslut. S&M is not about sex, it's about giving and recieving pain. "S&M" is often coupled or equated with "sex" and there are a number of confused people that don't seem to get it.
S&M without Sex
There are many people that do "S&M" without having sex, and those that do "S&M" sex together. Trust me you can do "S&M" without sex, I myself have done this. You can also do "S&M" without D/s even, again I have done this.
BDSM Breaking it Down
My point I'm going to Friggen Make here.. is that too many have D/s coupled with the other aspects or areas of BDSM. BDSM is a broad label the encompasses the follow areas.
- Bondage
- Discipline
- Dominance and Submission (D/s)
- S&M
All you need to be into is just one of the above and you're into BDSM. You don't have to do it all. SEX is not a primary area of BDSM. If you have sex without any of the above listed you are simply having vanilla sex.
D/S Sex without the Rest
Now you can have Sex with D/s without all the other stuff. Where the Dom/me controls the submissive without "S&M" involved. Just so happen many people in BDSM enjoy hearing "On your knees now slut, suck my hot nasty cock with that dirty little mouth". However, "Get down on your knees, I want to feel your mouth around my cock" does the same trick without the vebal humilation.
Natural Body Position.
Yes, it's simply easier for a women to get down on her knees to suck dick. Regardless if she's submissive or not. Yes, even Dommes will get down on her knees and say something like "Stand still and take it like a man, you little fucky sissy boy, let me see how long your small pathetic cock lasts in my mouth". I'm illustrating a point that body position has nothing to do with control or D/s whatsoever. Now remove the S&M from this and a Domme might say "Stand still, I want to see how long you last in my mouth". No humilation involved. What the OP failed to mention is that men can lay down with the women above them for sucking cock. Same can be said for intercourse. Hell people can lay side by side.. and there are all kinds of positions upside and down side. Sexual top and bottom.
Dom/mes taking the Bottom
Some Dom personalities simply feel more comfortable assuming the top position. I'm going to express my opinion (my view), I believe many (not all) Dom/mes that consistently take only the top position during sex are not trusting/accepting/confident in the level of submission from their partner". They do this to physically reinforce thier Dominance using body language. I suspect, in part, this is to make up for lack of verbal control and reinforcement. Also, it's my opinion that that Dommes are generally (not always) better at verbal control compared to most (not all) male Doms. I'm certain I've opened up a can of worms for debate now.
Verbal/Mental Vs. Physical Contol
A Dom/me can actually Top from the bottom using verbal skills. Physically the Dom/me may be on the bottom, however in terms of D/s they are on the Top mentally and verbally. This also applies to S&M play. I think (it's my belief) many Dom/mes who lack verbal/mental control over a submissive would sooner piss themselves before being the bottom during Sex or S&M play. Amazing for the number of Dom/me profiles professing the great mental control skills they have mastered. I tend to believe (think) that the Dommes are better at mental control compared to male Doms. Perhaps some of the bisexual sub/slaves reading this would care to comment on this one. ;-/ or not. Back to this can of worms again. However, I'm being bold in my thoughts here.
I have been on the bottom of S&M play while maintaining the TOP or the "D" in the "D/s".
This is why I do not consider myself as a Switch. Perhaps in some people's eyes I'm a switch, however if I'm treated like a submissive/slave that is in for 100% Grade A Smart Ass Dom that does not tolerate it. Somebody trying to Dom my ass is a hard limit.
D/s and Natural Body Language vs. Natural Sex Position
Many people simply take advantage of "body positioning" for D/s. This is an aspect that is a natural human condition. People who are surrending in a fight will assume these very same positions. Hands on back of head, drop to knees. That they are not going to Fight or take Flight. Fight or Flight is a common basic concept. When somebody is dropped to thier knees with hands behind thier head, it is body Language at it's best. It's Natural Body Language for D/s.
The Give or Take word ploy..
I find this funny... "our bodies are shaped so that women take cock and men give cock.". The words "take" and "give" here. In a sense this infers that Woman Take and Men Give, where the woman is in control. Reminds me of "Pussy Power" to the max. LOL... however this can be the subject of endless go nowhere debate.
It's amazing the number of female sub/slaves that have "I want a Man that will take what he wants."
I wonder how many prospective Doms phrase things in the context of pussy power to discover they are getting nowhere fast? Something to think about. I actually believe in "Pussy Power" and "Cock Power" both for sort of balanced view. The whole premise behind D/s is for one to take control of this power from the other.
Downfall of Dom/mes
Using ones sex as a weapon can be a bad thing. D/s or M/s relationships should remove sex from being a weapon of the submissive. Another reason to seperate sex out of the BDSM equation at times. How Dom is a pussy whipped Dom after all? How Dom is a cock whipped Domme? Basically it's when Dom/me start thinking with the wrong body parts and not with the brain in their heads. What good is Discipline when one does not have Self-Discipline over their own horny flesh. Yes, submissive/slaves will test sexual power and control... this can lead to the end of the D/s dynamics. I'm certain there are many that could comment upon this one!
Real Power and Control Hogwash
I really think the OP was out to lunch about Real Power and Control regarding Raping somebody for real. Raping somebody is only partial power/control over somebody. Rapist are not using self control or discipline. If one is not in control of themselves they can not maintain control over anybody else. Rapist end up loosing more control over thier lives by being sent to jail. Back in the days of the wild west they were Hung by Lynch mobs. Humans have a natural tendancy to kill off or punish psychopaths severly. If this was not the case the world would be ruled and controled by nothing by psychopaths. This is all part of Mother Natures Design.
Well folks this is all I have to share in terms of my thoughts, views and opinions on this thread.
< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 6/1/2007 2:10:40 AM >
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RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 
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