WhiplashSmile
Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BoyLover
This is a message I sent to someone in response to his. I wanted to post it to open discussion and get opinions/feedback on what I wrote.
I tried to give you my opinion/feedback on this, others have as well. Keep in mind opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. When you ask for feedback be prepared to hear things you do and don't want to hear. (Honestly, I myself do not think any less of you at all for posting to the message boards.) Just because others are not telling you things you don't want/like hearing does not mean they dislike or think less of you. You are defending your thought perspective and so are they. It's a natural thing for humans to disagree and bicker. This is one of the ways we learn about each other and grow as human beings. Not every topic or thread is dicussed in a polite Mr. Rodgers manner. Some of the best topics/threads are heated ones dealing with core views/values.
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I don't understand why I'm supposed to accept negative sexual behavior (wanting to be sexually humiliated/abused).
You don't have to accept it. If you don't enjoy or want this, you don't have to deal with it. It's your right to have limits. You need to find a like minded partner.
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I also think a lot of our feelings about sexual subservience comes from the physical way in which men and women have sex.
You have every right to what you think, however what you think may not be how others think.
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How can that be turned into something dominant and submissive?
One word alone turns it into this "Sexism". That Men are Dom and women are sub. Remove "Sexism" and you'll see where male sub/slaves and Domme (female Doms) fit into BDSM. You'll see where there is room for equality in terms of being Dom vs. sub.
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And if we do turn it into D/s, isn't it frought with so much bullshit as to render it irrelevant?
Again to stress my point in my last post! You don't need to have D/s involved to have sex. However, I totally understand the point you trying to make. I have similar issues with S&M being frought with a lot of D/s bullshit at times. Also, I totally understand about Sex being frought with it. I had a relationship with a Domme before, we had Sex and did S&M without a focus on D/s, if anything we both avoided submission like the plauge. Believe me, some female submissives and my Dom/me peers at times question my Dom levels because of this. But what the Hell, I do things in the world to make me happy and brings me pleasure, and I damn well will do this. I'm a bit of Rebel when it comes down to doing "Things I want to do" vs. "Established trendy group norms".
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*sigh* I don't think I'll ever find sexual peace.
Screw what anybody else thinks or feels.. "Know Theyself" and embrace this first and foremost. You'll find peace with yourself even through you might not be a peace with the world. Find another Partner/soul with similar values and you'll have fullfilling relationship.
quote:
I think many people missed this a being the message the OP sent to the Domly Dom in question. I'm certain she's not the only women to have went off on some Stupid Ass Domly Dom. We are missing the Email he sent her! Perhaps he deserved all these harshwords or perhaps not.
Start of message:
Thanks for your "canned" message--one that u send to all the girls? We've been in contact before. It's so great how the subs on here are so important to u that u take the time to remember the ones who rejected you (yes, read that with sarcasm). Clearly this Dude is a Troll
Are u a switch or what? Your profile is all about your cock penetrations into your slut's holes.
Sounds like this Dudes profile is all about sex and not about BDSM, another sign of a Troller.
No, I don't want to explore all the sick, twisted fantasies in my head--I don't think I should learn to accept the need to be humiliated and used and abused by men. I want to deny that part of myself as long as I can, and continue to get off on it in private, with porn.
Clearly the OP has fantasies about being humilated, used and abused by men, however is desires to keep those things as fantasies.
Why should anybody accept that she's a pathetic cunt who's playing into the age-old stereotypes about womens' "place"?
Case in point where the feminist movement has made women feel ashamed about being humilated, used and abused by men. Even though a women might have fantasies about this and desire it deep inside herself. Again, This is why I rebel against Group norms and prescribe to things that make me happy, I think the OP needs to reflect upon this more. She is at a bit of an internal conflict between her Deeper Fantasies and Established Norms of Society brought on by a movement. Don't get me wrong I think the Feminist movement was a good thing, however it does not endorse for a women to have Choice in being Submissive or not. Some women don't want or desire to be "I am woman hear me roar types", Hell there are men out there that want to be submissive/slaves to women. Again the pit fall of "Sexism"... I hate Sexism personally.
You know, our bodies are shaped so that women "take" cock and men "give" cock. That's just how mother nature designed it. It's strange to me that ppl in BDSM use that "body positioning" as a form of humiliation or subservience. Listen, guy, it's easier for me to suck your cock while on my knees; doesn't mean I'm "below" you! Lying on my back or stomach or doggy position is a way for me to "get off" cuz it hits my clit best, or I can play with my clit; not so u can feel like some dominant animal "taking control".
The OP is simply going off on a rant based on hatred for "Sexism", in part Sexism has made her feel ashamed of her fantasies and Sexism also make her fight these fantasies. I suggest she explores "Know Theyself" and take a fuck it attitude towards any thing that's sexist in view. Be it "Men rule the world" or "Women Rule the world" attitudes. Face it both men and women together rule the world. Both men and women should be free to be themselves as Dom/mes or submissives regardless of gender.
You want real control and power? Go rape someone! That's where this shit lies; in the real life part of it. Ppl try to capture that with consent games. Pretend all u want---it'll never be as good as the real thing, which only psychopaths will truly pursue.
I think this did not sit well with many people reading the OPs post.
In terms of RAPE.. there are people in this lifestyle that know the power and effects rape has on ones life. Others who have never been Raped or know of anybody that's been raped don't understand.
Yes there are those that have been Raped that do have deep fantasies about forceful sex and rape. They view accepting these fantasies as a shameful and harmful thing to themselves and society. That somehow they are letting their rapist off the hook. Sad thing is that the rapist is still holding power over the victim, because the victim does allow themselves to take pleasure in a fullfilling their own fantasies. Now, for some women that over come this and fullfill thier fantasies, this truely removes some of the power the rapist has over life. Freedom to Live/Act out our Fantasies, that's alot of what BDSM is all about.. making our fantasies, wants, needs and desires into reality.
Here's a sort of quick flowchart/matrix of what I'm talking about.... it could be more detailed.
- Those that have Been Raped that....
- Have fantasies about forced sex/rape and have...
- accepted all above and act out their fantasies.
- not accepted all above and fight with themselves over their own fantasies (confused limit)
- Don't have fantasies about forced sex/rape and
- however will enage in these fantasies for their partner.
- will not engage in these fantasies. (hard limit)
- Those that have not Been Raped that....
- Have fantasies about forced sex/rape and have...
- Accepted all above and act out their fantasies.
- Not accepted their fantasies and feel ashamed (confused limit)
- Don't have fantasies about forced sex/rape and
- will enage in these fantasies for their partner.
- will not engage in these fantasies. (hard limit)
< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 6/1/2007 10:11:36 AM >
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RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? - 
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I'm only here for attention, which makes me an attention whore. I think I'm going to try and find a Master to help me realize that; I do need severe punishment. And all that therapy! Think of the time I wasted when all I needed was to talk to you for 5 minutes. You're a friggin' genius! 
---they've made me think instead of react. I didn't have time to give a thought-out response to your last post. It's true that it feels as tho ppl I don't know dislike me. I've always been outspoken but, like I said, it's my first experience on a message board, and when I quickly typed out the OP and added the email, I naively thought everyone would just know what I meant. I'm used to debating in person where u have a chance to explain urself better if someone didn't get it. Even I'm a little "WTF" about some of my OP. LOL 
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