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RE: Age and honesty - 6/1/2005 2:32:43 PM   
silhouette


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline 		Self Doubt plagues the world, but isn’t it time to at lease be honest with one’s self? “To mine own self be true” to quote old Willy. Yet so many want to deceive others horribly at the very beginning of a new relationship. To begin on a lie, wow.

So many how have asked the question of if men lie about their age, well, not in my experience, at least not to give someone the impression that they are younger. Seems men are more honest in this regard.

I brought this up because most women think it is acceptable to lie about their age. Age deception has become so widespread on the net, yet so few speak of it. Perhaps because if you do, you get attacked? Funny, being attacked for honesty, by people themselves professing that they are the honest ones, funny really.

Well, nothing dishonest is acceptable, not even this. My next topic, weight (smile).

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age and honesty - 6/2/2005 10:23:20 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I agree--why are people giving silhouette a hard time about this? It's a legitimate question. Who here doesn't know someone who has lied about her age? Anything that widespread is worth thinking about.


I agree. In fact, I'd say that lying about one's age is probably one of the more benign lies I've heard of people telling (not to justify lying about one's age, just puttig it in relative perspective). Recently I got out of a relationship with someone who lied about everything but their age and the relationship was doomed from the start because of it. The lies were like poison and had a cumulative effect which eventually led to the demise of the relationship.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age and honesty - 6/2/2005 10:24:50 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: silhouette
My next topic, weight (smile).



LOL! Go girl!

(in reply to silhouette)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age and honesty - 6/2/2005 10:29:07 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I brought this up because most women think it is acceptable to lie about their age.


acceptable to whom? society as a whole? why not, it is acceptable to obtain plastic surgery, wear make-up and dye one's hair in an attempt to fool ourselves and each other that we are younger or closer to society's ideal than we are......

but seriously, this woman has only lied about her age when she was 19, to the bouncer of a club, so that she could get through the door. never has this woman lied about being younger(or gotten plastic surgery, used make-up in an attempt to look "younger" or dyed her hair)

(in reply to silhouette)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age and honesty - 6/2/2005 12:16:23 PM   
FerDeLance


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		This should be named Weight and Honesty. Oh God, weight, now that is a sore spot with most women. Can you imagine asking a woman's weight and age? Let's take a poll, what percentage of women would answer truthfully? I say...hmmm...20%. What do you think?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age and honesty - 6/2/2005 12:19:16 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think people get too wrapped up in these little things to realize they aren't talking or worrying about the things they really should.

(in reply to FerDeLance)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age and honesty - 6/2/2005 3:46:17 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FerDeLance
This should be named Weight and Honesty. Oh God, weight, now that is a sore spot with most women. Let's take a poll, what percentage of women would answer truthfully? I say...hmmm...20%. What do you think?

Will this discussion be brought about by men because they are ALL honest about their weights among other things? Or better yet, make the discussion all inclusive/even better... Make it a combination of sore spot for women=weight, vs sore spot for men= You get one guess? M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/3/2005 1:23:35 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to FerDeLance)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age and honesty - 6/3/2005 12:46:26 PM   
pain4hispleasure


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline 		Yea, I'm 43, and I struggled with worrying about it. It's like we're conditioned to think we're not attractive if we're older! Yea, some people won't like it, but the people who don't care are the ones you want to know anyway! :)

(in reply to silhouette)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 4:13:49 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hello,

looks like a can of worms with all the replies to your comments.
Unfortunately lying is part of the vanilla world that transmuted to D/s.
As noted in a couple of replies, it is human nature brought on by wanting to appear more attractive, at least at first contact, to others.

For myself, I consider age to be a non factor. When visiting sites and contact is made by someone who desires to know my age, I simply say, that is not relavant in D/s. Having said that, I will not knowingly enter into a scene, dynamic or relationship with anyone under the age of thirty.

That does not say that under 30 folks are not sincere etc, simply that for me, I relate in a D/s manner with the over 30 people. I do however mentor any that need help at any age over 18..

More often than age lies, are the physical side of things, To have honor in this lifestyle, we must simply put aside our preconditions and mindsets, then will we begin to get the honesty that is looked for.

Ponderings of CP

(in reply to silhouette)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 8:03:17 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
For myself, I consider age to be a non factor. When visiting sites and contact is made by someone who desires to know my age, I simply say, that is not relavant in D/s. Having said that, I will not knowingly enter into a scene, dynamic or relationship with anyone under the age of thirty.
Ponderings of CP

This is an interesting concept... I don't understand it, in fact disagree, because we're not the same at different decades of our lives, and are not able to do same things at different decades of our lives, but it's the 2nd time I'm encountering it.
A "slave" contacted me, wishing to be considered, basically stating his desire; I asked for a photo, he basically refused saying that he believes outward appearance has nothing to do with being a slave... I said obeying my orders/requests have everything to do with being my slave, so we will go with my rules or you may leave and find someone who agrees with yours.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:09:24 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
I said obeying my orders/requests have everything to do with being my slave, so we will go with my rules or you may leave and find someone who agrees with yours.. M


Since when do your orders matter until the sub or slave has entered into an agreement of service with You?

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:17:43 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
I said obeying my orders/requests have everything to do with being my slave, so we will go with my rules or you may leave and find someone who agrees with yours.. M


Since when do your orders matter until the sub or slave has entered into an agreement of service with You?


If someone wants to talk with us in an attempt to belong to us, they have to follow our rules - period, end of discussion, no questions asked. If they can't, then they are free to find someone else to talk to. We are totally with BTF on this one (in principle at least) - if someone can't follow our rules for discussion, then we aren't interested. Yeah, they don't have to follow our rules until they officially belong to us, but at the same time we don't have to talk to anyone who isn't interested in following our rules.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:21:19 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

Since when do your orders matter until the sub or slave has entered into an agreement of service with You?


Think of it in terms of applying for a job. Let's say the employer wants your college transcripts, and you think they are irrelevant to what you will be doing. You can tell him so, and refuse to provide them.

Now, the employer is not your boss. He can't order you to provide them. But you can bet he isn't going to be favorably inclined to hiring you after such a refusal either.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:23:25 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

Since when do your orders matter until the sub or slave has entered into an agreement of service with You?


Think of it in terms of applying for a job. Let's say the employer wants your college transcripts, and you think they are irrelevant to what you will be doing. You can tell him so, and refuse to provide them.

Now, the employer is not your boss. He can't order you to provide them. But you can bet he isn't going to be favorably inclined to hiring you after such a refusal either.


Exactly my point.

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:27:08 PM   
silhouette


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline 		Some interesting points have been raised, but still most fail to get it. People lie about age and about weight. Women lie about these things more often than men. Sure you can say well society expects it, or that it is a little itty bitty white lie, but a liar is a liar. If you lie you should not expect the truth from someone else.

Women ask for honesty, yet they do not honor those they ask by themselves being honest. Honesty honors both the speaker and the listener. It’s a simple concept. Always tell the truth, do not lie, and do not justify that lie by thinking you are somehow exempt.

Age really matters. At 40 you cannot do what you could at 25. At 50 well, let’s just say, age really really matters. So why would anyone claim they are 40 when they are 50? Or why would anyone say they weight 150 when they weigh 170? I just don’t get it.

Oh and now here is my pet peeve. How can someone who can’t even balance a checkbook claim to be able to control another’s life? It takes a lifetime to earn a Doctorate, a lifetime to become a maestro, or accomplished chef, or fire chief, or judge or Doctor. How come it takes 30 sexonds to become a Dominant who claims to be able to control someone’s entire life?

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:38:31 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: silhouette

Some interesting points have been raised, but still most fail to get it. People lie about age and about weight. Women lie about these things more often than men. Sure you can say well society expects it, or that it is a little itty bitty white lie, but a liar is a liar. If you lie you should not expect the truth from someone else.

Women ask for honesty, yet they do not honor those they ask by themselves being honest. Honesty honors both the speaker and the listener. It’s a simple concept. Always tell the truth, do not lie, and do not justify that lie by thinking you are somehow exempt.

Age really matters. At 40 you cannot do what you could at 25. At 50 well, let’s just say, age really really matters. So why would anyone claim they are 40 when they are 50? Or why would anyone say they weight 150 when they weigh 170? I just don’t get it.

Oh and now here is my pet peeve. How can someone who can’t even balance a checkbook claim to be able to control another’s life? It takes a lifetime to earn a Doctorate, a lifetime to become a maestro, or accomplished chef, or fire chief, or judge or Doctor. How come it takes 30 sexonds to become a Dominant who claims to be able to control someone’s entire life?



Please, oh please, do NOT lump all women in together on this. We insist on honesty, and we give it when we can. If you ask me how old we are, I'll tell you (27 and 25), if you ask me how much we weight, I can give you an estimate (honestly, I don't know how much either of us weigh - I can tell you what I used to weigh - for the record 290, and that I'm 2 sizes smaller now than I was when I weighed that, but we don't own a scale, and the one where I work is a piece of shit - and Holly ... her weight has been fluctuating due to health issues ... it's somewhere around 200). If we are asked other questions, we will answer them almost without fail. The only questions that we do not answer immediately are questions that ask for specifics about playtime. If they want to know our interests in general, no problem, but we don't hand out wanking material.

As for the rest of your post - yes, age does matter ... and not just in abilities. We have an age range set due to compatability, and it goes up as we get older.

On your pet peeve - some people are just NOT good at math. I know someone who is a fabulous Domme, but she can't count change back to save her life. It isn't that she didn't ever make the effort - she was threatened with being held back in school for it, and worked with her family members and tutors for hours trying to learn. She still can't do it to this day. Some people are just not good at other things. For me, it's specifically finances - I can do the math, but that doesn't mean that I can keep track of my money. So I let someone else (Holly, who is good at it) do it for me. I'm not good at home improvements, so I let someone else (our boy) do it for me. I know Dominants who are lousy cooks, so they find someone who can do it for them. I could give examples for hours, but you should get the picture by now. Does that make any of us less Dominant for finding someone who can make up for our weaknesses? No, that makes us smart. We find someone who compliments us - someone who accentuates our strengths and accomodates our weaknesses. It's a part of life that some people are good at some things and not good at others.

(in reply to silhouette)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age and honesty - 6/4/2005 11:47:43 PM   
Homewrecker


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline 		“so we will go with my rules or you may leave and find someone who agrees with yours.."

I think I would run from anyone like this, my guess is most probably do jeeeeesh. It is funny, so many Dominants here are soo smart, you would think they were all accomplished, multi-millionaire, Nobel Prize winning rocket scientists. My guess they are losers looking what they never had or will have.

And let me guess, your 39 years old and 120 pounds hahahahahah....

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age and honesty - 6/5/2005 12:22:41 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin
Since when do your orders matter until the sub or slave has entered into an agreement of service with You?

They don't, you are correct... But consider this:
you approach me wanting me to consider you as a potential slave, and I specifically say "this is what I need in order to consider you (very reasonable in my view=dressed photos, not nudes, not money)", you are free to respect that desire or refuse to, but your position when it is in contrast to mine does not supersede mine, it simply means we're not compatible (easy enough, don't you think?)....
AND what Chris said, thanks Chris . M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/5/2005 1:30:22 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Age and honesty - 6/5/2005 12:25:17 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homewrecker
“so we will go with my rules or you may leave and find someone who agrees with yours.."
I think I would run from anyone like this, my guess is most probably do jeeeeesh. It is funny, so many Dominants here are soo smart, you would think they were all accomplished, multi-millionaire, Nobel Prize winning rocket scientists. My guess they are losers looking what they never had or will have.

And let me guess, your 39 years old and 120 pounds hahahahahah....

I was going to reply to you, but in all your greatness you WERE too ignorant to even look at my profile which is very much visible before replying with this BS...

I hope all dominant women read this reply to my response before they look at your profile seeking a lady to join you and your wife, because I think your reply shows your love and respect for women in general since I've done nothing to you, and you don't know me, but in replying to me you felt free to ascribe such lovely characteristics to Dominas in general.. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/5/2005 11:12:39 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Homewrecker)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Age and honesty - 6/5/2005 12:30:22 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: silhouette
Women lie about these things more often than men. Sure you can say well society expects it, or that it is a little itty bitty white lie, but a liar is a liar. If you lie you should not expect the truth from someone else

In my first reply to you Silhouette,
I agreed that lies are wrong. I further explained that I believe your position that it is a female issue is a biased one based on your experiences; my position is that men lie much more frequently than women (I've gotten lied to several times by different men about their weight and age, among other things), but I don't go calling all men liars... I haven't been dated women, so cannot compare notes with you?? M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/6/2005 12:21:28 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to silhouette)
Profile   Post #: 40
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