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RE: Age and honesty - 6/12/2005 11:43:56 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pygmalionsub

See, its amazing that i can take your post and say i have had the same experience with Male doms. Simple fact is people create their own realities.

The question then is what are you doing to protect yourselves and not let it happen?

If male subs don't want to get ripped off by a so-called pro femdom, he should do his research, visit her facility and ask around before making an appointment.

When it comes to people who lie online, it's not unique to bdsm. Screen the people you are corresponding with. You will be able to tell in time when the lies don't add up, or the person's story is fishy. Are people rushing too much? Do you meet the first few people you talk to online, before really getting to know them? Talking on the phone about everything from family background to political views?

Either the liars are getting more sophisticated and using very complex "fake lives" to snare people on the net, or I just got lucky when I was single. I never had the horrible experiences people speak of -- or, more accurately, I was selective about who I continued to get to know, and clear about my expectations.

If someone sounded fishy, or his stories didn't add up, or he was flakey -- I'd move on.

But, it's also important to not use the net as your only way to meet partners. I probably met only a handful of people online for real life play and relationships, vs. people I met in day to day life off the net.

Akasha

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Post #: 81

RE: Age and honesty - 6/12/2005 12:42:23 PM

Authentic

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Joined: 6/9/2005
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A voice of reason. I agree, there is nothing that can replace intuition when you meet someone. Lies surface eventually, but are still a waste of time. Questions take time, here LIES the challenge, no pun intended. Men more often than not, fall prey to financial theives, while women to emotional thieves. Same ole world.

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Post #: 82

RE: Age and honesty - 6/30/2005 4:13:21 AM

mossy

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Joined: 2/21/2005
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my hair is grey, and i am aging. So? my mind/wisdom doesn't come packed in a 20 year old body. It does not appear as of yet...we've been given the opportunity to have both.

Now i have to start all over again .....anger breaks down, when we keep lashing out at others. i have taken responsibility for my lack of investigation. This way i keep it on me, to stop blaming, building up, so i can change things for the next time. Does it matter who lies? What they lie about? For me D/s is based in Honesty. i only have Control over my own behavior. Anger is ok for awhile, (but not to take it out on others), then it becomes time to move on and heal. To trust my judgement again and then forgive myself, for not being more perceptive.

< Message edited by mossy -- 6/30/2005 10:40:14 AM >

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Post #: 83

RE: Age and honesty - 6/30/2005 6:28:12 PM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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i am honest about my age... im 43 and proud of it.....
i would not want to go back to repeat any age that ive left behind...

this is the most aware i have been in my life of who i am, what i want and where i'm going.... i've acquired some wisdom, maturity, life lessons, adjusted my attitudes, all that good stuff.....

age is like fine wine...... the taste only keeps getting better.....

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Post #: 84

RE: Age and honesty - 7/2/2005 11:25:39 AM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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i noticed that on many profiles a person will state their age with picture included and then add....
"i am 48 but look 40"

if we can see their picture, can't we already see what they look like?
and if no picture is present, is it that important to say you look more youthful than your real age? are people that shallow?

just wondering..... ~ zaynab

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Post #: 85

RE: Age and honesty - 7/2/2005 11:29:32 AM

GentleDom3

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/30/2005
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LadyAngelika said it best, i feel it is about them an their insecurities an in that you can really do nothing but be honest yourself. Its why you always want to meet an meet in a public place too see if what you know of the person matches he/she when you meet them.

(in reply to junecleaver)

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Post #: 86

RE: Age and honesty - 7/2/2005 12:31:44 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy

my hair is grey, and i am aging. So? my mind/wisdom doesn't come packed in a 20 year old body. It does not appear as of yet...we've been given the opportunity to have both.

Now i have to start all over again .....anger breaks down, when we keep lashing out at others. i have taken responsibility for my lack of investigation. This way i keep it on me, to stop blaming, building up, so i can change things for the next time. Does it matter who lies? What they lie about? For me D/s is based in Honesty. i only have Control over my own behavior. Anger is ok for awhile, (but not to take it out on others), then it becomes time to move on and heal. To trust my judgement again and then forgive myself, for not being more perceptive.

----------------------

quote:

Anger is ok for awhile, (but not to take it out on others), then it becomes time to move on and heal. To trust my judgement again and then forgive myself, for not being more perceptive.

------------
just now sitting here typing this, now i feel silly and foolish. but my point, WAS, going to be, that i never learned how to move-on and get over it. i have always held a grudge. never learned how to forget and forgive. guess now that is a mute topic.
maybe if i just get mad at myself for allowing myself to GET INTO those bad times i'd realize i got what was coming to me.
but still, i hate a liar.

the wolf

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Post #: 87

RE: Age and honesty - 7/2/2005 1:04:26 PM

Sirus

Posts: 35
Joined: 6/20/2005
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I have never lied on my profiles here or in other places. I would really hope others would provide the same courtesy.
sure when I do a search I set parameters for age and such, but if there was someone who messaged me and I was really into them then it wouldn't matter how old they were or what their weight was.

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Post #: 88

RE: Age and honesty - 7/2/2005 1:55:36 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirus

I have never lied on my profiles here or in other places. I would really hope others would provide the same courtesy.
sure when I do a search I set parameters for age and such, but if there was someone who messaged me and I was really into them then it wouldn't matter how old they were or what their weight was.

i don't know. i think i would care how old they are. being over 50 i need to know someone is close to me in age so they background in real life. i cannot talk to someone that is young enough to be child.

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Post #: 89

RE: Age and honesty - 7/2/2005 8:58:08 PM

imtempting

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Before meeting anyone on the net I always get either a few different photo's off them or I get them on webcam. So if more people invested in webcams ($20 for a cheapie) this problem will not exsist.

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Post #: 90

RE: Age and honesty - 7/15/2005 7:22:11 PM

wildangel1012003

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Joined: 4/27/2005
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have known men and woman to lie about their age, I do not, i am 38 and vey proud of it, having sevived being widdowed at 26 and raising 3 kids alone, i will be a grandmother for the 1st time this oct. does that make me old? NO , yes i color my hair, i whent 1/2 white when my husband died, ( from the shock) he commited suicide. so i do not wnat to have white hair at 38 okay.

as far as what we can do at 25,35, 40, 50 , yes you are right we cant do all the things we did when we were younger, but i wil tel you the best lover i have ever had in my life, was a 50 year old man , you knew what he was doing! and didnot rush everything the way so many younger men do.

yes men do lie too, i have had so many men write me and want to talk onlyto find out shortly after , that they are married. my profile states no married men.

all humans lie for one reason or another.

as for my weight. hell i dont know dont own a scale, if my clothes fit right i am happy.
probley around 150lbs if i had to guess, but a # does not realy tell a person much on that as we are all built diffrent. i am very curvy ( hour glass) , and stil wear a bikini on the beach, and get my share of wistles.
so cnat be too bad.

no i dont have a pic on my profile, not becouse i have anything to hide ( age or weight) those who wish to see what i look like write and ask and i send them one. i am a very private person.

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Post #: 91