subcheryl
Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fillepink
Ginger, probably by now you've reached a conclusion to your dilemma but maybe some other young girl will read this. i am 49 years old..a submissive..and had no idea BDSM existed until last year. i have a daughter about your age and had i learned about it from her -- as your mom has -- my reaction would NOT have been to educate myself but to do anything in my power to save my kid from the demented world she had stumbled into. in short, i would have reacted pretty much like your mom.
There just is no love like Mommy Love; and no power like Mommy Power. When my kid rouses me to protect her -- and she has very rarely done so -- i am braced to kill if necessary. if i am battling with my kid over what is best for her (o, shades of her high school days) i am determined to win, espcially if i think she's in harm's way. yes, your mom is trying to control you -- but she is acting out of fear for your well-being. Unfounded fear - but she does not know that.
The Dom you are with now is not likely to be your life partner; but the desire to be a submissive comes from a place deep inside and should not be denied. Unfortunately, you have been outed to your parents -- especially to your mom, who i assure you has certain phrases from your email burned into her memory. you have no choice now, whether you are living with her or not, but to address her fears and try to educate her. in short, without meaning to, you aroused the Mommy Power and it is still in high gear...it is your job to reduce her fears and help her return to normal.
One thing i can assure you of is that your mom is suffering terribly over this..not just because you and she are estranged but because she has wild fears for your safety and future. a fearful Mommy is a suffering woman, Ginger.
you must demonstrate skills and compassion beyond your years and reach out to your mom, understanding she is in near panic, and try to begin to educate her about BDSM and your place in it. you must emphasize to her the stringent safety rules laid down and accepted across the board for meeting people in real life, and the rules adhered to between you and your Dom to prevent any harm to you. this will not be one conversation; and your mom will not hear you at first; but you must keep trying. she is in terrible pain and you, my dear, are the only one who can assauge her fears.
Someday you will have children (if you choose) and until they lay that first baby in your arms you will not experience and appreciate Mommy Love -- or Mommy Power. so in the meantime, please consider what i have said and begin to help your poor mom recover from what must have been a terrible shock. if you wish, please feel free to contact me here on collarme by email; i am fillepink; straight; subby; age 49; in Ohio. Ginger; i will add you and your mom to my prayer list. please do not give up on trying to help your mom.
This says it all, and being a mom, with now grown boys, my youngest having just graduated high school, it is hard to let go and let your kids fall on their faces, so to speak, I was a single mom during my boys teenage years, and let me tell you we had many a war battle going on between the four of them and myself, me trying to protect them and guide them, fearing they were going to ruin their lives, etc. and them trying to establish their independance, their right to make choices, and their own mistakes, but there is a reason God gave us parents and one of them is for their wisdom and their guidance, and no one miss' that more till it is no longer there, whether thru their dying and not physically being there, or thru a argument that neither is willing to give. Life isn't fair, beleive me I have had many a lemon thrown at me, but the choice is to roll up in a ball and let the lemons hit you and you do nothing with it or stand up and try to make the best lemonade you can. If you really think your mom is being unfair about this, try getting a job, support or even buy and maintain a vehicle that will get you at least from point a to point b, pay room and board, go to school at least part time and figure out where the money will come from for that, than study, work, take care of the home, study, work, and than try to find play time. Right now you have the best of both worlds you can study, go to school, and have play time. Being grown up means taking charge of your actions, if you really want and need to be with your Dom than go for it and take charge of your life, get a job, go to school part time and play all you want but it isn't easy. I went to school for 6 hrs a week, work many 10hr days, and keep tabs on my boys, and kept a home over our heads, not an easy job, but what is? Life isn't easy, if you want something you have to work for it, it is not just handed over to you, SO YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE, not your mom, but YOU. By the way when my boys choose not to hear what I had to say, I learned one of lifes hardest lesson for any parent and that was to step back and hope for the best for them and let them take their knocks in life. so consider that you may think you know the answers, sometimes it doesn't turn out the way you want or expect them to, and who will you turn to then? My boys knew that they could always come back to me but there would be guidelines to follow and if they didn't they could find somewhere else to live just the way it was, I too had a fulltime job I was up at 4:30 a.m. to go to and a life that was not going to be put on hold so no they couldn't come home past midnight, no phone calls past 9:30 p.m. unless an emergency, if they wanted food outside of the snacks provided and regular meals provided they bought it themselves and once they had part time jobs they bought their own clothes and maintained their own vehicles. I guess what I am saying is if you want to be treated like an adult act like an adult and start talking to your mom not expecting her to bend just for you, share with her how you feel and what it is you see in this lifestyle that will make you a better person, set up ground rules of how you will respect her feelings, and if it is just something that you have to do no matter what and she just will not except it and will not allow you in the house again till you stop, than make a decision to either do as she asks or take control completely of your life, get a job, go to school part time, and meet all the things that life throws at you on your own. Its your choice.
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RE: Mommy Dearest... (grr!) - 
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