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Has that gone on your entire life? Like if you wanted a toy that everyone else had when you were little and asked for it (demanded it perhaps?) it was given to you? What kind of emotional support are you talking about here? For example, did you have trouble at school and tell your mom about it and she didn't hug you and try to help you find ways to make it better?

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Why are you telling US this and not your mother? There HAS to be some way that the two of you can sit down together and TALK, not argue. Whether it's now or sometime in the future, the only other alternative I can think of for the two of you is family counselling. There are kink-aware professionals in your area, even if you go alone at first it might help the two of you.

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I really hope you don't take this as a flame, it's not.

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If your father is supportive, then why not move to Him? - Maybe there is a distance, but you could try and transfere. Just a thought.

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Your whole world has just changed. Your family found something out. Don't prove them right by panicking and making a rash decision. Show them how responsible you can be - that its your life and your decision, but that you respect their view. Keep on at them to either accept you as who you are - that the truth is, your not changing for anyone, because you have to be true to yourself. Tell her your not wanting to hurt her - get her to read some books, help her meet other submissives - most of all, introduce her to your Master - its up to him to help and support you. In truth, you shouldn't be relying on anyone else except yourself and the one you submit to. He is part of this - don't choose for him and shut him out - communicate with him and if he is worth your submission, he will be by your side throughout this whole situation.

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ORIGINAL: ginger21

She doesn't want to talk to me. She shuts down and refuses to speak anymore. She says we won't get anywhere, and we're "going around in fucking circles" as she puts it. I wanna talk but honestly, we'd make just as much progress as if we both talked to the wall. Counseling would help, yes, but she thinks only I need to go. I'm the perverted, sick one and I'm the one that clearly needs the most help. So that's how it'd be. Me going to counseling alone...forever.

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P.S. ProtagonistLily needs to keep her (?) thoughts to herself; you are no help at all. I don’t give a rats ass about your thoughts, so you can keep your opinions to yourself. Protagonist fits you perfectly; you and her mother would get along just fine.

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First of all the only one that had sound advice was fillepink, dark~angel and a few other mom’s Everyone else seems to just be advising based on there own experiences.

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ORIGINAL: Master609

I am ginger21’s Master and I have recently read the thread. What I have to say might piss some folks off, but too sad. First of all the only one that had sound advice was fillepink, dark~angel and a few other mom’s Everyone else seems to just be advising based on there own experiences. I think some have either forgotten what it was like to be 20 (almost 21) or had such a tough life they can’t imagine such an immature attitude.

Personally I didn’t have a good relationship with either of My parents until I was 29, but I don’t regret the lost time. I’m just happy for the good years we had together after I decided to forgive My parents for making the mistakes that all parents do. As a teenager and young adult My parents helped Me several times (financially among many) and although I didn’t appreciate it then I did appreciate it later. I don’t think they ever regretted the support they gave Me during those trying years and I doubt that ginger21’s mom will either.

I do believe at some point her and her mom will reconcile, but after having spoke with her mom I don’t think she is ready to be a friend to her daughter no matter how hard ginger21 tries to be friends with her mom. That won’t happen until she sees her daughter as an adult; “she doesn’t”. I don’t think she has a clue as to how to talk with ginger21 and I don’t feel she has ever really made an effort to communicate with her outside of providing a roof and the things we all need to live. I feel that instead of giving love, she has given things (like a car, clothes, etc.) and is now using those things to manipulate her daughter to do it her way. I don’t doubt that she loves ginger21, I just don’t believe she has a clue how to give it and show her love. She wasn’t there for her as a little girl and she’s not going to be there for her now. The attitude it’s my way or the highway, is unreasonable especially since there is no way to know what her way is (until she gets around to saying something). She has never really taken any type of interest in her daughter’s affairs until now. So instead of talking with her and asking questions, she chose to snoop through her personal stuff and read her emails to get personal information. She plays games such as locking ginger21 out of the house, refusing to take her calls and ignoring her daughters feelings all together. She refuses to discuss anything; even with Me, she just attacked told Me off and then hung up before I could say much of anything. Her father is a reasonable man, we spoke and although he is concerned for his daughter and her welfare (I would have been disappointed if he wasn’t) he was willing to talk to Me like an adult.

My take on the whole thing is that her mother has a lot of growing to do, herself. She needs to accept the idea that her daughter is growing up (with or without her). She can be a friend and a parent or she can continue doing as she has always done, which as I see it was very little. ginger21 is a very intelligent young woman; she grew up in a dysfunctional family and she doesn’t use drugs, alcohol or any mind altering drugs to make it through the day. She was molested when she was a child by a close family member (that her mother trusted) from 5-12 and that alone can cause problems, but she is a strong young woman and her experiences will make her a better person.

People seem to have a problem with our age difference (especially her mother). All I can say to that is W/we truly have fun together and it’s not only about bd/sm sex. She is a very mature young woman for her age and I enjoy our time together. With most people her age there is a definite generation gap and I usually feel out of style. But with ginger21 that has never really been an issue and although I am aware of the age difference W/we can talk. I’ve never fathered a child and I don’t feel guilty about My relationship with ginger21; she is a young woman that is capable of choosing her career for life, her apartment and what she does while at school. She should be allowed to choose the man she wants to be with.

It’s a free country and people have a right to there opinions. But I feel some folks need to keep those opinions to themselves, since they don’t pertain to ginger21; “just themselves”. ginger21 has a lot of growing up to do and she will, as we all do “in our own way”. Getting out on her own is not an option for her at this time. W/we (ginger- & I) decided that the best thing was to go back home, get a job for the summer and her mom will probably get out of her business in a few weeks. W/we can’t spend as much time together but sometimes sacrifices have to be made. When she goes back to school things will get back to normal and next year she can do something different. The important thing is to get her education and get a good job. One day she will probably have to take care of her mom, so her mom should consider that and how her daughter will support her in her elder years (sometimes you get what you give, but not what you expect to get). Both My parents gave a lot and when it was there time My brother and I gave that time back.

I do believe all people (especially adults) have the right of privacy in this country and just because her mom has chosen to take that right from her, it has created an issue. I don’t think anyone that has added to this thread would willingly give up that right! This is really the key to the problem and were it all started; Ginger feels her privacy has been invaded and I agree with her. As soon as she came home from school her mother went through her personal stuff when she wasn’t around, looking for something and for what reason other than a mothers curiosity. Not a good reason!

Sincerely,
Master Michael

P.S. ProtagonistLily needs to keep her (?) thoughts to herself; you are no help at all. I don’t give a rats ass about your thoughts, so you can keep your opinions to yourself. Protagonist fits you perfectly; you and her mother would get along just fine.

Also “RiotGirl” obviously has some sense and I want to thank you for pointing out; Moms are human and it doesn’t make everything she does okay just because it’s her house and her money.

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lilly

Considering how outspoken and disrespectful you are, I can't help but wonder who's really in control in your relationship with your Dom.

Master Michael

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ORIGINAL: MsSilvie
I disagree strongly with the "parents are friends" theory. Parents are parents, they make decisions that their kids don't agree with all the time. That hopefully is because they are more experienced and farsighted than their offspring. You can't hope to maintain authority if your goal is friendship.

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That being said...there are options that I haven't seen mentioned. Michael, if you want responsibility for her, you could pay for her college and let her live with you. You could get married and then she would be an independent student. If her mother is doing such a horrible job, and you want to take over the responsibility...it sounds like a viable option to me. I get the feeling that while you will encourage her to destroy her relationship with her mother for years (which would raise *huge* red flags to me...but that's just me), you aren't willing to step up to the plate yourself.

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This is the last rant about my mother...well, for a little while at least. I swear... Really!

I hate sleeping here while she's here...why you ask? Because the prostitute puts the AC on 80+ degrees and it gets hotter than a bitch in my room! It's so small, that without the air conditioning on, it quickly become stuffy and almost underbearable in here. Does that matter to my mom? Naw, she's cool (literally and figurtively speaking) in her room and that's all that matters.

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ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK

Since ginger wanted folks to see her blog on Xanga, I went and looked, and found this, from 1 June 2005:

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This is the last rant about my mother...well, for a little while at least. I swear... Really!

I hate sleeping here while she's here...why you ask? Because the prostitute puts the AC on 80+ degrees and it gets hotter than a bitch in my room! It's so small, that without the air conditioning on, it quickly become stuffy and almost underbearable in here. Does that matter to my mom? Naw, she's cool (literally and figurtively speaking) in her room and that's all that matters.

That was posted a week before this thread started. "Last rant"?? I don't think so! Referring to her mother as a prostitute??? That's nice, real nice......

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ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK

Since ginger wanted folks to see her blog on Xanga, I went and looked, and found this, from 1 June 2005:

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This is the last rant about my mother...well, for a little while at least. I swear... Really!

I hate sleeping here while she's here...why you ask? Because the prostitute puts the AC on 80+ degrees and it gets hotter than a bitch in my room! It's so small, that without the air conditioning on, it quickly become stuffy and almost underbearable in here. Does that matter to my mom? Naw, she's cool (literally and figurtively speaking) in her room and that's all that matters.

That was posted a week before this thread started. "Last rant"?? I don't think so! Referring to her mother as a prostitute??? That's nice, real nice......

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When I've seen parents bending over backwards to be friends rather than "parents", it's usually resulted in self centered, entitled-thinking, ungrateful brats, but maybe that's only in my neighborhood/experience. M

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ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK

Ah, I see! VERY clearly in fact.

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What you think of me is irrelavant as you and your girl are showing your true colors to everyone here on the board.
Lily