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Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 6:56:09 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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This question is for anyone but I really want to know why a sub or slave does what they do. Meaning, do you do it for your own pleasure and needs or for others pleasure and needs. Most of us like to receive pleasure but I am more interested in if you receive pleasure from meeting your Dominant/Masters needs first and your own needs first.

This question isn't directed at anyone in particular just something I would like to know for my own curiosity. I will say that for me I do not expect pleasure, I get the most gratification of meeting Masters needs before mine and my service to him.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

Post #: 1

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 7:44:35 PM

frazzle40

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

It has to be mutual satisfaction. Yes there are things i'll do for Him even if not what i want, He does take priority, but the whole dynamic has to please both.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 2

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 7:48:20 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

In part, I do it because it is who I am and I have embraced freedom in that reality. So many years of my life I wasted in posturing, being the independent have-it-all woman. It feels ~wonderful~ to be who I really am with no apology, no guilt.

Too, there are times that I think "I can NOT do that" but I do it, and in the action I again taste what it is to be free. I love pushing past myself and my notions of what I "will" or "won't" do. I love being able to focus and simply ~do~ instead of think.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to frazzle40)

Post #: 3

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 8:59:30 PM

countrygirl69

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline

i do it because in pleasing him it pleases me .

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 4

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 10:22:55 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

i love pleasing and being found pleasing but in all honesty if i was never pleased in return i would not stick around very long.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to countrygirl69)

Post #: 5

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 10:26:37 PM

subitodolce

Posts: 39
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

I actually had a conversation with my Dom/Sir tonight about this.

He and I have a Dom/sub relationship, though he considers me to be his relationship equal. As the nature of my career, and jobs I have previously had, I have been given vast amounts of responsibility. I have managed large projects, as well as work groups of 250 people, and my current job has me responsible for 700 people. I spend so much of my life being the leader, the one in charge, and the decision-maker, and it takes quite a toll on me.

My relationship with Sir has been quite a relief...because there is this lovely little spot in my life where I can look at somebody else and ask them to make the decision for me. After a full day of being in charge, it's refreshing to let somebody else choose the movie, order dinner, or plan the rest of the evening.

In addition, this is a responsibility that he loves to take. He enjoys being in charge of decision-making, not only out of his dominant nature (as well as the standard male "provider" mindset), but because he knows that it pleases me pass on the responsibilty. We went to the movies with friends last night...and they sat very close to the screen. As my Sir and I both have back/neck problems, he looks at me and asks if the seats would be more comfortable elsewhere, and he took great pleasure in the small task of finding new seats :-) As I had spent the evening in the kitchen cooking for friends (after a rather long drive to arrive there), it was as pleasing to me to pass on the responsibility of something else in my life.

~Dolce

(in reply to countrygirl69)

Post #: 6

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/24/2007 10:27:37 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I do it because it's what I am.

Meeting his needs meets my needs.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 7

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 2:30:30 AM

macy

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline

Why does a submissive or slave do what they do? I am sorry, but it almost sounds as if you are asking about careers or jobs that some may have.

I don't personally believe that being a submissive or slave has anything bearing on what a person 'does'; but rather more along the lines of 'how they act'.

Now, if you were to ask 'why does a submissive or slave 'act' the way they do', my answer would instead of been that I act the way I do because I enjoy the 'feeling' that submission gives me; that I enjoy knowing that my being submissive pleases someone else; and that in pleasing this other person, I, in return, will also be pleased.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 8

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 2:32:22 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
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I love to please him, because I'm so grateful - he does such wonderful things to me. I often thank him profusely, and he points out that he's actually had a great deal of enjoyment too.

It's a gloriously mutual equation - we each take pleasure in ways that pleasure the other person too. And I get a nice sub glow when he's big lazy dog happy, and I made him that way.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 9

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 4:58:55 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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For the most part, yes I do recieve a mesure of pleasure/satisfaction/gratification from meeting my Dom's needs which isn't always of a sexual nature. There's many reasons for this: it's part of my psychological wiring, I find pleasure in meeting the needs of another knowing my needs will be met in the end and to some extent, it's instinctive.

_____________________________

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(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 10

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 5:34:40 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: macy

Why does a submissive or slave do what they do? I am sorry, but it almost sounds as if you are asking about careers or jobs that some may have.

I don't personally believe that being a submissive or slave has anything bearing on what a person 'does'; but rather more along the lines of 'how they act'.

Now, if you were to ask 'why does a submissive or slave 'act' the way they do', my answer would instead of been that I act the way I do because I enjoy the 'feeling' that submission gives me; that I enjoy knowing that my being submissive pleases someone else; and that in pleasing this other person, I, in return, will also be pleased.

Nope, I meant what I said. You missed the point. Not all submissives serve to please others. That is what I am asking. Do they do it to please them or their Master/Dominant. Seems everyone else got my point.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to macy)

Post #: 11

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 6:03:48 AM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

This has been who I am for as long as I can remember. I've gone through cycles where I hated it and tried to be a different person, but finally came to a point that I accepted and learned to love it. Servitude is an emotional need for me, so I would say I'm definitely more driven by knowing I've been pleasing than by being pleased myself. As velvet said, if it was always one way, that wouldn't work, but even having said that, in my marriage, it was all one way (and mentally abusive as well), and it still took me three years from the first time I thought of leaving, to actually leave. So yes, I would have to say what drives me is the pleasure I get in pleasing others, anything else is just icing.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 12

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 6:21:11 AM

SlND3R3LLA

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

Hmm....I don't think that I expect pleasure, but I know that it gives me pleasure when he is totally happy and pleased. I like the feeling of knowing that my husband/Master is totally taken care of. I suppose that means that I do expect the pleasure, because I expect to be happier from making him happy.

If it didn't make me happy to be his slave, I wouldn't be here..plain and simple. Therefore, I expect to have pleasure or to be pleased out of our relationship. He gets what he wants/needs, in return I get what I want/need out of it all.

It's an exchange of sorts. I have something he needs, he has something I need. We searched each other out for this reason, otherwise we might never have met. If it all didn't fulfill what I needed out of the relationship, I wouldn't stick around and settle.

I suppose that means that I do expect pleasure, and I can't see there is anything wrong with that. We are just two people serving the needs of each other, it's just that he is the dominant, and I submit to him (our needs taken care of).

Hope that made sense.

_____________________________

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 13

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 6:29:07 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I USED to do it because of love; nothing more and nothing less.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 14

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 7:53:37 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I do it to please him and because i love him. He has told me though that pleasing me gives him great pleasure so in a way we both get what we like. Of couse i please him also.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 15

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 8:27:19 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

In my current relationship, its a mutual saftisfaction. MJ get satisfaction by me obeying and being able to 'have His way' with me, an I get satisfaction by obeying and by being His object of 'affection.' Our relationship is based on mutual affection, attraction, friendship, among other things.

I do what I do, because I am who I am.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 16

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 9:23:56 AM

YourShyPet

Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

Nope, I meant what I said. You missed the point. Not all submissives serve to please others. That is what I am asking. Do they do it to please them or their Master/Dominant. Seems everyone else got my point.

I got the point.... I started out thinking I was supposed to be pleasing my Daddy... but he quickly corrected my wrong thought process... Now I know I do it because I need too... and part of what I need fulfills some of my Daddys needs and desires... perhaps one day his wants and needs will come first... but something tells me probably not... because thats not who he is.

_____________________________

kittin

http://www.myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 17

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 10:11:55 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

I don't know if for my own pleasure would explain it. I do it because it feels natural and right to me in relation to the man who owns me. I think when you break it all down it is all about me for me and all about him for him...because our needs compliment one another it fits like puzzle pieces.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

This question is for anyone but I really want to know why a sub or slave does what they do. Meaning, do you do it for your own pleasure and needs or for others pleasure and needs. Most of us like to receive pleasure but I am more interested in if you receive pleasure from meeting your Dominant/Masters needs first and your own needs first.

This question isn't directed at anyone in particular just something I would like to know for my own curiosity. I will say that for me I do not expect pleasure, I get the most gratification of meeting Masters needs before mine and my service to him.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 18

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 10:16:44 AM

Domspaintoy

Posts: 158
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline

Always, Master's pleasure comes first, in doing so i get my pleasure.

Knowing i have been pleasing and have given Him pleasure by whatever means be it orally, physically by Him caning/tormenting me, or Him fucking me, its His pleasure, to take pleasure before His would only serve to get me punished.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 19

RE: Why do you do it? - 6/25/2007 10:26:08 AM

angelicslaveMDF

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

well personally to me...i love Him...and He provides me with the things i need...Master and i have discussed this...and He said..in a good relationship...that with Him...it pleases Him to have me serve Him...WILLINGLY...so that only makes Him to want to take care of me and make me happy...and that only makes me want to serve Him better and make Him happier...and it is a never-ending cycle
angelicslaveMDF

_____________________________

*thats my opinion and Master says i am entitled to it.*
angelicslaveMDF

(in reply to Domspaintoy)

Post #: 20

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