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RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 5:51:28 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

It troubles me that  for a site that is a PERSONALS site, most everyone is anti online relationships.  People get talked down to and disrespected because they have an issue to bring to the boards, but they haven't met the Dom/sub, that is the subject or reason for their post, in person...

I think its positively absurd that as a society, we're not very accepting of online relationships unless we're in one. 

First of all, a relationship isn't any more or less of anything just because you haven't met in person yet. I am unwilling to spend the gas that EVERYONE (Dom or sub) asks me to spend to go meet them for the first time, without knowing if we're compatable on any levels.  Especially within the  two week time frame that seems to be the only tolerable length of an online relationship. 

It seems silly to drive to someone and waste that time and money to discover things you could have easily found out if you had put a little more time into online conversation before you met in person. 

BUT here's the thing...

Problems... or questions... arise in person and online just the same... And even questions that would seem to stem from the beginning of a relationship still get groans of frustration or gasps of surprise from some of you out there... like it can't be possibly worth answering a question for someone who hasn't met their partner in person... or like its unrealistic to think that questions could arise that way to begin with because the relationship isn't anything serious.  

Every relationship has to start somewhere... a Dom or sub doesn't just appear out of nowhere perfectly made for you, without some time and effort put into it.

It just feels like an intolerance to me... and considering theres a lot of the world that isn't very tolerant of us as a whole... it would be nice if we could be kind, and help eachother without the "are you kidding me? they haven't met in person yet? let me post about how they should meet, or how stupid i think it is that they haven't, because in person contact is the only way to a real relationship" because thats unkind...



Personally, I find online as a useful tool, especially when speaking to a sub who is new to the scene with no r/t experience.  In sharing my experiences when I was a sub beforehand, I can at least give her some idea of r/t examples to help her determine if BDSM is something she is really interested in.  I also have used online to email educational materials with questions to answer ~ the not so evident questions that encourages one to think beyond what the material is about.

As far as an online relationship, I will consider one with the expressed understanding that we will meet r/t and become acquainted on a personal level.  The first few meetings usually consist exclusively of D/s, no play or sex.  We mainly speak of limits, expectations, goals and whether or not we see the potential for a relationship r/t.  If so, I use this time get to know a sub as a person first and to establish a foundation.  Im in no hurry to collar as I take collaring very seriously and have yet to find the right one to wear my collar. 

I realise that online cannot replace a r/t experience for me and I make this very clear from the beginning, that I only us it as a tool toward r/t experiences.  Since Im permanently disabled and medically unable to fly and dont drive at the moment, I find online resourceful during the beginning stages.  My schedule is flexible, Im able to jump on a rain or bus rather than expect a submissive to miss work for the sake of meeting someone who may/may not be compatible.

For these reasons, I tend not to be judgemental of online relationships, since Im unaware of one's personal circumstances surrounding their need for same.  Also, especially for those who have no r/t experience, we all have to start somewhere and we all move at a pace that we feel comfortable with.  Therefore, I think that everyone has their own choice as to how they approach others and develop their relationships.  If online remains online for other people, so what if it fulfills their needs at that particular time and duration.  It certainly doesnt affect me and my relationships so I find no need to inject myself into their relationships by voicing a negative opinion, come from a place where bashing is all to common.

I wonder if the very people who give absolutely no crediblity to online, arent just insecure of their own BDSM status, therefore finding it necessary to judge others  because they must convince themselves that they are really "real." 

To degrade others is to exalt oneself.  I have no need to do that, never did.

LBO

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 6:51:52 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

First of all, a relationship isn't any more or less of anything just because you haven't met in person yet. I am unwilling to spend the gas that EVERYONE (Dom or sub) asks me to spend to go meet them for the first time, without knowing if we're compatable on any levels.  Especially within the  two week time frame that seems to be the only tolerable length of an online relationship. 

It seems silly to drive to someone and waste that time and money to discover things you could have easily found out if you had put a little more time into online conversation before you met in person. 

BUT here's the thing...



But here's the thing. This MACHINE you're using is a communication tool. And used as a communication tool, the internet is a wonderful thing. However, what you're in essence saying is that these people you're contemplating entering into a "relationship" with are not worth the money it would take to meet them face to face.

Personally, if I'm not worth the gas money, then why in the hell is that person even bothering with me? And that goes in the opposite direction as well. If I'm not willing to plunk down the cash to put gas in my car, then obviously, they are not worth my time and trouble.

Additionally, online, there is just no way to discover the intangibles, and to me, it's the intangibles that count. Does he chew with his mouth open? Do his feet stink? Does he change his underwear at least daily? And the list can be endless. Why do the intangibles count so much? Because prior to knowing the answers to those intangibles, all I'm doing is falling for the man my imagination has created. Sure, it's based in the reality of someone else typing back to me, but ultimately, the person I'm talking to online only is the person I've created in my own mind. And while masturbation can be a lovely thing, I'm not interested in the masterbatory effects of a bdsm relationship.

I'm interested in D/s. I'm equally interested in SM and for the life of me, I've yet to figure out how to engage in SM to the degree that I like by reading "crrrraaaack!" on my computer monitor. And I have tried and tried, but I fail to see how reading "hugs" constitutes the same feeling of actually GETTING one. (I don't know about anyone else, but being hit by a singletail in real life has some significant differences to being hit with one online. I still remember the day a "submissive in transition" from online to real life who was at a party I attended exclaimed with some shock, "OMG!!! I didn't realize it would HURT!!!")

I have an active imagination. However, I'm not interested in creating imaginary men - no matter WHO is typing on the other side of the internet world. And when getting involved online, that's exactly what's happening.

So, while this computer is a very cool TOOL, it is not the substitute for a very cool Master-type man in real life. And mistaking the very cool tool for the very cool Master-type man is  well... just .. not cool.

And oh yea.. if you've ever cut short time spent with family and friends to rush home because you're "expected" online by your online dominant, then I'm wondering, has it occurred to you that you're giving up your very "real life" activities with loved ones for the online experience of tooling around in your own imagination?

But hey, that's just me. I have this penchant for living life rather than sitting on my little chair watching the flourescent lights emanating from my computer monitor all so I can read "hugs" and type "yes Master" to someone that may be distinctly different in real life from the man I've created in my head.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/7/2007 6:59:50 AM >

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 7:10:23 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

I wonder if the very people who give absolutely no crediblity to online, arent just insecure of their own BDSM status, therefore finding it necessary to judge others  because they must convince themselves that they are really "real." 



Actually, I found that my online experiences were a direct result of me being so insecure that I couldn't handle real life. As I developed more confidence, I needed those online relationships less and less.

Oh yea... and back then, I'd have voiced all the same arguments in support of online relationships that I've read here today - including the whole, "you must be insecure if you have to diminish online relationships." However, my experience is just the opposite of this argument. My experience showed me that insecurity was exactly what necessitated the monitor-only style of relationship, and the rationale of "I'm not spending the gas money .... etc" was simply that - a rationale devised to further protect me from my own serious doubts in myself. As I became healthier, online relationships ceased to have that connection to me and I discovered a big beautiful world out there, where the leaves are actually real, thorns on roses actually hurt and men and women stink when they sweat. (They don't just "glisten")

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/7/2007 7:11:40 AM >

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 7:43:05 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I'll take this one step further....Online relationships are bullshit.  If you start an online relationship and then it leads to a LDR you are missing some screws.

My true love now lives in Oregon....What the fuck is wrong with you?   It is just as likely that your true love also lives down the fucking block.



What if you lived in no where South Carolina and have not once in the past 7 years found anyone within the entire state who is the combination of available, willing or compatible?

i don't do online... it's just not real.  i need to use all 5 senses to feel a connection.  i do feel like online is a way to meet people one could not normally meet but if they are not willing or able to meet in person, the chitchat ends.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 8:10:13 AM   
MiladyElaine


Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		Not everyone is against online to get to know someone.  But there should be a limit applied so that there won't be any STAYING there!

" like it can't be possibly worth answering a question for someone who hasn't met their partner in person... or like its unrealistic to think that questions could arise that way to begin with because the relationship isn't anything serious."

I totally agree with you there - you'll get little sympathy from this crowd.



_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 8:20:03 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

If you have never met your partner then you are pen-pals.  If you have met him, you are in a LDR.  You see, the difference between being pen-pals and being in a LDR is that people who have never actually met in person do not have a real relationship.

Quite simple, really...

Taggard



I completely disagree. I think this is a black and white statement that doesn't take into account many shades of gray, nor the particulars of each individual's situation. For many an online relationship meets needs that real time cannot. There are those that are extremely disabled that simply aren't going to get lucky in real time, however they'll experience an important, meaningful connection and something real for them online. Who are we to judge and criticize something like that?

There are those who are unattractive for whatever the reason, who find it difficult to hook up; yet they can do so through this cyber venue. Who are we to discount them a measure of happiness?

Whatever the reason for hooking up online, what purpose is there in demeaning those who are getting their needs met through this venue? Leave them the hell alone and pay attention to your own backyard, which probably needs weeding anyway, unless you're jealous, of course...heh.

thank you - he has yet to learn in his "domly" status to respect the relationships of others and take his "holier than thou" judgemental attitude elsewhere.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 8:26:57 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		in regards to your advice about using your brain - you should follow your own "domly" and practice what you preach.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 7/7/2007 8:29:32 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 8:29:45 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		On line has its purpose.  i love online, not to carry on an entire relationship, but because it gives me the opportunity of 'meeting' people from around the world.  People i would not otherwise have the opportunity to know.  This is online... There are many people i have a 'feel' for who they are in real life, simply by reading their words on a screen.  For instance (Mercnbeth i hope it is ok to use you as an example here)... i have a pretty strong feeling that Merc and beth are real and very much in love.  i have a pretty good idea they have a good solid relationship.  i have never met them.  Knight, Alandra and Kyra... same thing.  If a person spends enough time reading the words of another, they get an idea of who they are. 

As far as moving from o/l to real life depends on many things.  A recent example for me is, i was speaking with a guy on here, local to me.  We went from emailing here to im'g.  Several emails and a few days later, he gives me his cell number.  i ask him what the best time for me to call is.  He tells me 8 am, he did not offer later in the day (after the work day), but 8 am.  Well, 8 am for me is very difficult, i am at work at 8 am.  Red flag... first off without the internet, i would never have 'met' him.  With just a few emails i found out he probably is not what i am looking for. 

An entire relationship o/l is not for me.  However,  i do not know about 'you', but i am on this side of the screen and just as real as 'you' are. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 10:10:16 AM   
MJSunshine


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra
Actually, I found that my online experiences were a direct result of me being so insecure that I couldn't handle real life. As I developed more confidence, I needed those online relationships less and less. 

... As I became healthier, online relationships ceased to have that connection to me and I discovered a big beautiful world out there, where the leaves are actually real, thorns on roses actually hurt and men and women stink when they sweat. (They don't just "glisten")


OK I waded through 6 pages to get to this...and I'm so glad I had the tenacity to stick it out, thank you julietsierra...

Online and/or letter writing relationships fulfill a very real need in those people who engage in them and there are a number of reasons why some people choose not to come out from behind the computer (or the pen and paper) to experience "real" time relationships.

Several years ago, I had just such a relationship. I had a very real need to connect with someone on an emotionally intimate level but I also needed the physical distance in order to feel safe. I also needed to be heard. He gave me a voice that I had never found in a face to face relationship. I was able to spend hours pouring out all my thoughts and soul searching and emotions knowing that when I was finished, there would be this wonderful man on the receiving end who would read every word I had written, his attention focused solely on me and my voice, and would respond thoughtfully and lovingly - and sometimes very sternly LOL.

Did I love him? Oh my, I still do. He is my most cherished friend. For a long time, I felt in love with him. In some very real ways we were there for one another like no other person physically could have been. He gave me the encouragement and showed me the strength to start living, to start trusting, to engage.

That relationship was no less real in my heart than the face to face relationships I have now.

Is that something I want now? Hell no! I got healthy and allowed myself the opportunities to experience physical intimacy along with the emotional intimacy and discovered how incredible the combination can be.

But I don't judge anyone else (or at least, I try not to) for having the kind of relationship that they need to have, for whatever reason, when they are having it. I may not agree with their choices (ie online collaring) for myself. What works for them is none of my business.

The OP talked about intolerance of online relationships.

Some of you assume that those who have online relationships are ugly and desperately seeking the last refuge. I'm not ugly...far from it. I'm beautiful. I'm intelligent, witty, generous, flirtatious, sexy. That had absolutely nothing to do with my choice then. My choice was all about what I needed in that moment. I found it and I found amazing beauty in it. Why would you judge me for that?

Now I just don't have time for anything but face to face. I found out life was much more fulfilling FOR ME out in the world and drinking from its beauty and its pain (hee hee).

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 10:30:52 AM   
feelingrisky


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/30/2007
Status: offline 		LMAO.  It makes me crack up when I see that happen. 
Too funny!


quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

I still remember the day a "submissive in transition" from online to real life who was at a party I attended exclaimed with some shock, "OMG!!! I didn't realize it would HURT!!!")


I have an active imagination. However, I'm not interested in creating imaginary men - no matter WHO is typing on the other side of the internet world. And when getting involved online, that's exactly what's happening.


But hey, that's just me. I have this penchant for living life rather than sitting on my little chair watching the flourescent lights emanating from my computer monitor all so I can read "hugs" and type "yes Master" to someone that may be distinctly different in real life from the man I've created in my head.

juliet

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 10:47:08 AM   
queencaliph


Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

I wonder if the very people who give absolutely no crediblity to online, arent just insecure of their own BDSM status, therefore finding it necessary to judge others  because they must convince themselves that they are really "real." 

To degrade others is to exalt oneself.  I have no need to do that, never did.

LBO


Hi LBO,  I don't think anyone on here actually said they give absolutely no credibility to online relationships.  Most of the people who weighed in on this subject admittedly met and/or meet people online.  Some just do not believe that having a permanent online relationship where you have not met nor will ever meet is the same as having a realtime relationship. And prefer not to call online contact a relationship until the two actually do meet.  Its merely their opinion and they have a right to have it and express it.

The OP stated that "a relationship isn't more or less of anything because the two haven't met."  I am of the opinion that there is a vast difference between talking online and meeting in person.  She is entilted to her opinion and I am entitled to mine.  My believing that the two are not the same is not intolerance, is not belittling and its not even judging her.  Its merely an opinion.  And anytime you ask a message board of people for opinions some will be positive and some will be negative. 

If someone asks for advice about an online relationship, undoubtly someone answering will have the opinion that "you should meet RT"  and they will usually give that advice.  Most probably do not mean it to be unkind or disrepectful, they are only giving advice based on their own experience, which is what one asks for when one seeks advice on a forum like this.  When you ask for advice here, you get a "buffet" of answers.  We should do what we do at any other buffet.  Take what you want on your plate and leave the rest.  Just because its being served doesn't mean we have to eat it.

I am more or less like you, I use online to meet and get to know potential partners with the understanding up front that we will have to meet and build a relationship realtime.

_____________________________

"awwww hell......the Queen!"

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 10:57:36 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		(using fast reply)
I have to admit amusement that many of the definitions of relationship that were put forward basically validate that relationships that are online ARE actually relationships, but people wanted to treat them as if they weren't.

The thing an online relationship lacks is physical interaction, which is a big thing, certainly. That doesn't meant that online relationships aren't "real", nor that they aren't "valid" - simply that they are not face to face.

Using the argument that you can't get fucked, sucked, or whipped through online role play doesn't mean the relationships aren't valid. What it means is that roleplay isn't realplay - and most of us know that. I don't think that anyone saying "my relationship is just as real as yours" means that "I get laid just like you, mine is just via words on a screen." What they are saying is that to them, the relationship is far more than stinky feet, wet pussy, and bruises to sport at a local subbie's meeting. They are saying that they have formed real and true connections, that they have gotten to know things about someone, and that they feel an honest romantic desire for the person.

Online roleplay is great. You can't get bruises from it, but you can get off from it. It's a form of mutual masturbation, even if one person is following the other person's orders as their form of masturbation. Does that mean that it isn't D/s? Nope. It means it is two people performing singly instead of together in the same room.

Online interaction is not all ugly people and liars hiding. If you are afraid of that happening, certainly meet in the first few weeks and/or only interact with people who are local to you so you can verify them ASAP. However, you CAN have an online relationship, without meeting in person, that involves webcam, telephone, letters written by hand, as well as e-mails and instant messengers. Can I whip someone online? Only through role play. However, can I train a submissive online to obey me? Absolutely. It involves giving assigments that have concrete proof, or doing webcam time so I can see obedience immediately and respond appropriately. Online D/s and S&M CAN happen, and it doesn't have to be just "reading" the "CRACKKK" on the screen.

If online relationships aren't valid for you, great. They are valid for me.
If I can't meet someone in the first few months, it does NOT mean the person is not more important than a tank of gas. It could mean that the sub had finals and I had an audit, and then my car broke down, and then he had an unexpected bill come up. It could mean that he lives farther away than a tank of gas, and that spur of the moment plane tickets just aren't in my budget.

I agree with the sentiment that I'm going to take a bit of time getting to know someone online, exchanging e-mails to see if they can carry on a topic of conversation other than what panties I'm wearing or how hard their dick is, finding out if they are smart enough to write mostly spelling error free, or willing to re-read an e-mail for punctuation before sending it, finding out if they will disappear because I asked something simple that was non-sexual, before I'm going to make plans to meet, spend my time, food money, and gas money to go see them, as well as involving a friend in coming as a chaperone. If you have enough spare cash and time and safety arrangements that you can meet anyone who contacts you or strikes your fancy, congratulations. I consider those things to be important, and won't meet someone local until after a few weeks/months (depending on frequency of communication). Someone farther away it could take a lot longer to meet up with them - long enough that I know they have enough of what I want to make the expenditure worth it.

The apples to oranges, stark declarations of "fact" and judgement, red herrings, and other "arguing" fallacies around here don't make the OP any less valid, or your own arguments any more so.

~E

PS
Someone who says "I didn't think it would HURT" as they transition from online to RT relationships isn't a display of why online relationships aren't valid, it's just an example of someone who was an idiot. And there are ~lots~ of those around here.

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to feelingrisky)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 12:34:03 PM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe our situation is as unique as our location but for us "online relationships" are the only way we see to start the process of getting together with the right submissive. We are a two day drive or a four hour flight to the US and it just makes sense to get to know someone as much as is possible by IM and phone before meeting in person.

Neither of us would want a relationship with a submissive that did not end up being full time 24/7 tpe living with us, but that takes a lot of trust and understanding that can only come from time spent in some form of bdsm relationship more casual... for us that likely means online LDR with regular visits.

Everyone invested in bdsm has a different set of needs and we agree that dissing anyone for those needs seems inappropriate, however we really haven't seen that happen among serious people on this site or others..

Bill and Iris

_____________________________

"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 5:50:29 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Elorin you really said everything I feel about this topic, thanks for your words & thoughts.
I hope your post is read & thought about how you present it all in a way that makes sense (to me at least).
Hoping too that I don't mess up the following quote

quote:

 
No matter what your body type, if you have a good personality, there is someone out there for you. There is, in fact, a fetish for the disabled. Now, if they think the best they can do is an online relationship, I certainly won't take it away from them. But unless they are lying to their online boyfriend/girlfriend and telling them that they aren't disabled, I would still wonder why their great partner doesn't want to meet them eventually.


Aquatic I posted the entire paragraph so that all the context can be seen because I keep focusing on the second sentence that I bolded.
I don't want to be someones fetish object because of the crap that is wrong with me  . It makes me feel like I'm nothing more than my medical problems.
Like 'I' don't exist but the 'Lupus Fibro Etc' exists. I really really want to be more than that description. But in RT I can't be. With under two hours as my max energy level I just don't offer enough. I think I'm saying it badly..but I don't think I've put this to words before.
Maybe it's that I actually do exist more in cyber than reality? I can almost always type. It is my connection where most others have person-to-person connections. Since I can't have that long term but I can manage online long term, it works for me.

I need more than I can give. Not being able to give hurts! It hurts inside of me. I wear out too fast & I tire too easily. Always always there is pain of the unfun variety. I'm hushing now.




_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 10:40:23 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

We agree with getting to know someone online before meeting them in person. At the Academy we like to train slaves online by email, mail, video, and phone and after if all goes well we offer more training in person. This weeds out the guys that aren't real slaves. We like meeting a slave in person if he's trained and into submitting fully. The more serious the better. We've met lots of good slaves this way.

And for those who only want to submit part time their really happy with the online training. It gives them a taste of what real slavery can be like minus the full commitment.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 10:52:17 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hi.

We agree with getting to know someone online before meeting them in person. At the Academy we like to train slaves online by email, mail, video, and phone and after if all goes well we offer more training in person. This weeds out the guys that aren't real slaves. We like meeting a slave in person if he's trained and into submitting fully. The more serious the better. We've met lots of good slaves this way.

And for those who only want to submit part time their really happy with the online training. It gives them a taste of what real slavery can be like minus the full commitment.


Do you use an online "real slave detector"?  Is that the K650 model from Acme?
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Reality is... - 7/8/2007 1:13:56 AM   
Hina00


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28
Problems... or questions... arise in person and online just the same...


quote:

ORG/: TallDarkAndWitty
No, they don't.


Yes they do. You have the same feelings and will react just as you would if you were in person, a keyboard does not change who you are.

quote:


Every relationship has to start somewhere...


quote:


Relationships of any depth start the moment the two people actually meet in person.  Before that, you are pen-pals.


Untrue, I had to spend a year talking to my b/f online only before we met because he was stuck in another city 'til he graduated. After we met, everything felt the same as it did online, including just how much we loved each other.

quote:


help eachother without the "are you kidding me? they haven't met in person yet? let me post about how they should meet, or how stupid i think it is that they haven't, because in person contact is the only way to a real relationship"


quote:

In person contact is the only way to a real relationship.  Unkind or not, it is the truth.  If you are having trouble with your pen-pal, find a new pen-pal or meet that pen-pal in person to see if there is anything more there.  Anything else is just more pen-pal tom-foolery.


Entirely untrue >_<!! Unless the online relationship is based purely around sex, then sure it is crap. But hey, so would one irl. It is impossible to say online relationships are nothing, it's contact in every way except physical. It's the ultimate communication. You can not say online relationships aren't rel and then turn around and say "the inside is what counts!". Think about that.


BTW, quotes aren't my specialty T__T;;


< Message edited by Hina00 -- 7/8/2007 1:17:31 AM >

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Reality is... - 7/8/2007 8:02:12 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hina00

Entirely untrue >_<!! Unless the online relationship is based purely around sex, then sure it is crap. But hey, so would one irl. It is impossible to say online relationships are nothing, it's contact in every way except physical. It's the ultimate communication. You can not say online relationships aren't rel and then turn around and say "the inside is what counts!". Think about that.


BTW, quotes aren't my specialty T__T;;


i have to post again, because reality...is...not...present.....you can't in one breath say something is good...and then turn around and say or precursor it with or whatever -- it is crap...you can't have it both ways...if your goal is online only and you tell everyone you enter into a relationship with that....then i don't give half a rats crap if you want to just cyber, create an elaborate romantic D/s mental connection or if you want to pretend your half vampire/half werewolf and get married and have children online, some of whom are vampires and some of whom are werewolf, born in litters...do what you want to do, don't lead me on with some promise of an eventual meeting...
oh btw, the whole vampire/werewolf thing...i did that...when i was 14...but it was very real to me...i did eventually meet this boy, and he was in fact who he said he was (my mom took me to his house to meet him and his parents on the way to see my aunt)...well except for the vampire werewolf thing...but...oh well....it was all a communication tool and he didn't like me cause i wouldn't give him a blow job once i got into his basement with him....oh no...yea well...life keeps going

oh yea...the church thing...
the sweet innocent choir girl...
virginal even...
chelle

(in reply to Hina00)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Reality is... - 7/8/2007 8:39:18 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
oh btw, the whole vampire/werewolf thing...i did that...when i was 14...but it was very real to me...i did eventually meet this boy, and he was in fact who he said he was (my mom took me to his house to meet him and his parents on the way to see my aunt)...well except for the vampire werewolf thing...but...oh well....it was all a communication tool and he didn't like me cause i wouldn't give him a blow job once i got into his basement with him....oh no...yea well...life keeps going


Sorry that all he wanted was a blow job.....You were into the vampire ..werewolf thingy?  that's so odd and so fucking cool!....But I have to ask...So your mom takes you over to meet him....You never mentioned it...Did he like your mummy?


Edited to add...Im really fucking tired and obviously need some sleep....lol.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/8/2007 8:40:51 AM >

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(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Reality is... - 7/8/2007 8:50:12 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I am not one to judge anyone's views of what reality is to them. For me, the only reality is meeting someone in person and even then, you see them, hear them, possibly touch them, but you do not know someone until enough time is spent. Even then there is always something elusive that we do not know about each other....

However, I have a rule now borne of so many online chats and phone conversations that yielded no satisfaction when meeting in real life. I will not spend a tremendous amount of time emailing or even on the phone before meeting in person. I have met too many men who talked the talk far better than they could ever walk the walk.

Some are so good at constructing the fantasy but not able to live it out. I like to live mine out and also add them to my real life, as that is the only one that matters.

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A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 120
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