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Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:20:03 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
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Why does it seem that most Doms want their potential sub/slave relocate to them and not the other way around? Why can't some Doms/Dommes be willing to relocate to where ever their sub/slave lives? i've talked to a few where they were either a Dom/Domme and it shows "willing to relocate", but than when talking to them they say no thier not and that their sub/slave has to go to them. Please help me understand this possible misconception that i have.
Thank you

Post #: 1

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:24:49 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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I think most people who click that box do so without really thinking about actually having to relocate. I find it really rare to expect a dominant to relocate to the submissive. It might happen, but it is more a rarity than usual.

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(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 2

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:27:10 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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I wouldn't relocate because I have a family of 4. My slave is one man. 'nuff said, yes?

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 3

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:31:13 PM

MsOpal

Posts: 244
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline

well, "we" are 2 people and were looking for a slave. Argent has a very good job, we have a very nice home on several acres of land, we have other family here. No one "had" to move here, but if someone was interested in us it was clear from the beginning that they would be the one to move.

_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

and I did.

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 4

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:31:41 PM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I have gotten more than a few doms who have said they would relocate to me. More than anything that makes me nervous! How can an adult around my age not have ties to where they are, be it in a profession, or a family? I know it would be difficult for me to move to them as I have my business and its really hard to get one going successfully. But to know someone can pull up their life for me on a dream.. well it makes me take a second look at who they are and how easily they toss aside an old life for a new one.
It lacks the stability I seek.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 5

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:31:46 PM

DocTSH

Posts: 109
Joined: 2/22/2007
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I Think it is out of comfort and control. A dominant person needs to be able to establish the environment, and I feel that would be difficult outside of their "Comfort Zone".

_____________________________

Doc

At times like these, I think of Socrates who said, " I drank what?" -Real Genius

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 6

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:32:10 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Enough said yes Earthycouple. For me my family is close to where i live and i don't want to relocate, which is why it's difficult to relocate. Now if they were in the same city or even the same state, than yea i'd have no problem. But not to drop everything and move to some unknown location.

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 7

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:51:27 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Why does it seem that most Doms want their potential sub/slave relocate to them and not the other way around? Why can't some Doms/Dommes be willing to relocate to where ever their sub/slave lives? i've talked to a few where they were either a Dom/Domme and it shows "willing to relocate", but than when talking to them they say no thier not and that their sub/slave has to go to them. Please help me understand this possible misconception that i have.
Thank you

I own a business, a home, and make a six figure income. If she has a business, a better house (on a golf course perhaps!!), and makes more money then I'll consider selling what I have and moving.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 8

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 3:57:06 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Why does it seem that most Doms want their potential sub/slave relocate to them and not the other way around? Why can't some Doms/Dommes be willing to relocate to where ever their sub/slave lives? i've talked to a few where they were either a Dom/Domme and it shows "willing to relocate", but than when talking to them they say no thier not and that their sub/slave has to go to them. Please help me understand this possible misconception that i have.
Thank you

Reasons why...
A) They (like many people) have ties to the area. They may have a great job, a nice house, fanastic friends and/or family in the area that they don't feel like leaving.
B) They feel it's somehow "undomly" to relocate to their sub
C) They just don't feel like going through everything that has to be done when a person moves (making new friends, getting a job, yadda yadda)

I would imagine that for most it is a combination of A and C, but I've heard a few people mention B. I personally that reason no credit at all. I don't think dom or sub matters when it comes to who moves, just which whoever's situation lets them move easier or makes them more willing to move. But I also don't fault a person for not wanting to move. God knows I'm not going to relocate for a person I'm not already in a long-term and stable relationship with.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 9

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:08:34 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocTSH

I Think it is out of comfort and control. A dominant person needs to be able to establish the environment, and I feel that would be difficult outside of their "Comfort Zone".

I would think a good Dominant would be able to establish an environment outside their comfort zone, that would be very scary I think to a submissive.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to DocTSH)

Post #: 10

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:12:42 PM

dincubus

Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline

Actually in my case, i am going to be moving to be with my One. not the other way around. there were some intense discussions on the matter and both sides put their reasoning forward. and an agreement had been reached. so there are no worries there. i just gotta make sure the cushion i want to be there is there so i dont have to flip out about finding a job first

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 11

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:12:54 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
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My Sir and I relocated to a brand new state that neither of us had lived in before. One where there were no hurricanes or snow.

Of course not everyone has that opportunity and I think the one to relocate is the one that can with the least amount of complications.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 12

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:19:44 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

I can completely understand where the OP is coming from here.

I made the choice last year to relocate after saying the goodbyes every few months for the three years prior to that day. I didn't become a live in but instead bought my own house, moved my own things in and my home is my home no matter what the end result is. I made my committment a different way because I enjoy my comfort zone and really enjoy my privacy. I enjoy my work, and want to be more than just a live in slave with no other life but servitude. Now that's not to say that I look down on people that can do that because I dont. I would love it, just not at this stage in my life.

About the whole comfort zone thing. I think it's rediculous to say that a Dominant shouldn't be taken out of His comfort zone for a submissive...what the hell. We are all people here, all humans with emotions and feelings. Why is it any different for a Dom rather than a sub? i dont understand that. That just sounds egotistical to me....sorry if that offends anyone but hey that's just my opinion. Yeah I did take that a bit offensively.

~meticulous~

< Message edited by meticulousgirl -- 7/8/2007 4:20:24 PM >

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 13

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:24:27 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I have gotten more than a few doms who have said they would relocate to me. More than anything that makes me nervous! How can an adult around my age not have ties to where they are, be it in a profession, or a family? I know it would be difficult for me to move to them as I have my business and its really hard to get one going successfully. But to know someone can pull up their life for me on a dream.. well it makes me take a second look at who they are and how easily they toss aside an old life for a new one.
It lacks the stability I seek.
Kyst

Actually, I always wonder about this as well. Now I have had some that have businesses that they can run from any where, and those that are in companies big enough to transfer....but the others, I have to wonder.

I get so many wanting to be houseboys and want me to support them, which with my job I can not do, and I make that clear. Then they want to call me a money Domme, etc. I don't care about them giving me their money, but the have to contribute to the household.

I had one to move from another country, (when I first started looking online and was totally green) I made it clear that he needed to have employment....he said he understood, when I said he should have something lined up before he got here, it gave excuses...yadda yadda yadda...then when he gets here he kept putting off finding something, and then brought out the old...we can make it this way, I can take care of the house, etc ......needless to say I shipped his butt right back to Mexico...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 14

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:26:21 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I own a business, a home, and make a six figure income. If she has a business, a better house (on a golf course perhaps!!), and makes more money then I'll consider selling what I have and moving.

John

I ave a friend that has the same and she's a female sub. House with an oceanview, real estate investments and a thriving practice. And many Doms expected her to give that up to relocate. What if the relationship didn't work out?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 15

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:28:02 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I own a business, a home, and make a six figure income. If she has a business, a better house (on a golf course perhaps!!), and makes more money then I'll consider selling what I have and moving.

John

I ave a friend that has the same and she's a female sub. House with an oceanview, real estate investments and a thriving practice. And many Doms expected her to give that up to relocate. What if the relationship didn't work out?

If I had a house with an oceanview, I would definately not give that up. The kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life enjoys the ocean so much they wouldn't want me to!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:28:30 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

Most normal people, dom or otherwise, are quite reluctant to relocate.

That's because most normal people have jobs, families, friends, homes, etc.

The lack of these things, or the ability to competely walk away from them, is one that would give me pause when considering a potential partner, as I would question his sense of loyalty and devotion to those around him as well as the stability of his personality in general.

I am fiercely devoted to my family, friends, career, and home. There's not a man on earth worth losing those things and I would expect my partner to have similiar values.

Hence the reason why I am adamant about dating local men only (I tried the long distance thing and found it very disturbing on many levels.)

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 7/8/2007 4:31:15 PM >

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 17

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:30:51 PM

MASTERHAWG

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/3/2005
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I believe the Dom should have the say in where a submissive/slave lives.
THEY ARE MASTER/MISTRESS and in control, not the other way around.

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 18

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:32:25 PM

Kindandcruel

Posts: 27
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

For myself, I have a contract to work where I am as well as finishing my Masters degree, once that is finished I will be moving out of here to the east coast for a while than internationally... As a Project Manager and a Dom/Master... I will take my house with me wherever I go because they are my responsibility...

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 19

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 4:35:51 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERHAWG

I believe the Dom should have the say in where a submissive/slave lives.
THEY ARE MASTER/MISTRESS and in control, not the other way around.

Any "dom" who expects a girl to give up her friends, family, career, and home just cause he says so, IMO, is not worthy of the title "dom" let alone "Master." Sounds like a bunch of egotistical bullshit to me.

I've had plenty of doms ask me to relocate ...my answer? "When you can afford to relocate me, my whole family, all my friends, plus prove to me that you can find me the same kind of job I have now at the same salary, same insurance, plus the same promise that I can retire at age 47, PLUS, provide a home similiar to my own (I live on a 5 acre mini-farm with lighted arena and round pen, 5 stall indoor show barn for horses, plus two separate homes for me and my family, plus large dog kennels), plus assure me that you don't have a problem with my 8 dogs, 10 cats, 6 horses, and two frogs, THEN, and only then, would I consider relocating."

Otherwise, he'd be asking me to give up my whole life...and that, in my book, makes him an ASS.

Generally, once I lay it on the line like that, they understand.

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to MASTERHAWG)

Post #: 20

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