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RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 6:32:40 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		tempting,

thanks for that input, your correct of course that it is an individual thing for each person but the two choices seems to be able to be ploted on a bell curve.

CP

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 6:35:49 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Bita,

Thanks for that input, some sound thinking there.

CP

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 6:38:02 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		congrats domiguy,

your the first solo dom to check in.

CP

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 6:39:16 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		havent read all the replies so sorry if im repeating.....

i think of it as a need that has to be given (or gifted) to someone in order for it to be fulfilled......that goes for the D and the s in  my mind......

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 9:04:11 AM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline 		I don't see it as either a need or a gift. It is simply an endogenous trait in me that will manifest itself in the right relationship.

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 12:11:49 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		seeks,

so in the final alalysis, I can put you in the gift column???

CP

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 12:15:20 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		kitten

*grabs the dictionary and flips to the "e"s.

CP

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 12:16:00 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I think it should be a need for the submissive to serve,
and it is a gift for the Dominant that receives it.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 12:17:51 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		LadyIce,

now there is a middle of the roader /////// and a good one at that.

CP

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 1:35:12 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		My husband also had this need, presented his slavery as a gift to me, and I accepted. That's 19 years ago, and in the beginning I had to explain to him that his dreams were different from my needs. But he really wanted to serve me, to submit to my person and saw that as the ultimite gift: totaly trusting my judgment and character with his body and soul. He actually gave me the permission to do anything and he will sign anything. I even tested this, and he did not even read what he was signing.

So, now I have a normal man when we are outside  (a little pollied maybe) and a male who pampers me and does exactly what I want in private. Of course now and then he has his moods, but a remark is enough to put him straight. At the whole I love that he told me about his need and I'm glad I accepted his "gift". By the way, he always had this need. And his age taking in regard: that was before internet and the discovery (for us) of Femdom, BDSM etc...

So to all these people judging others: live and let live. It's bad enough some people don't understand us as it is.

blmtrsne

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

Question....

I personally feel a "need" to submit...it is who I am inside..it is me. I see my submission as a gift, but one I only give to one person. Does it matter how I state it on my profile? Please dont see me as being dumb here...I admit I may be sometimes, but Im honestly curious this time, is there a difference in the semantics that much?

ghita~


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(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 2:09:51 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

seeks,

so in the final alalysis, I can put you in the gift column???

CP


hellifiknow-lol-i been trying to come up with another word for it-ill get back to you on this one

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 4:19:39 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

Question....

I personally feel a "need" to submit...it is who I am inside..it is me. I see my submission as a gift, but one I only give to one person. Does it matter how I state it on my profile? Please dont see me as being dumb here...I admit I may be sometimes, but Im honestly curious this time, is there a difference in the semantics that much?

ghita~


People are going to tell you that you are being dumb. I agree with you though. I see a lot of the world as a gift. Every day with Valyraen is a gift. His ownership is a gift that enhances my life. Every day with my friends and family is a gift.


Its ok, Aqua...I get called dumb quite often around here...lmao...

but really...whats the difference between using the word "gift" or "need"? Or is it that one equals doing it for a Doms pleasure and one equals doing it for a subs pleasure? Which to me doesnt really matter much because I truly believe the whole point of this lifestyle is matching up two people with contrasting "needs" so everyone gets happy and satisfied... whats the point in consensual slavery/submission if both sides arent enjoying it? If they arent getting their needs met they are gonna go somewhere else...because you are meeting their needs, they give you what you need...works both ways...gift/need two sides...both happen from both sides

personal opinion above....flaming allowed and almost expected


no flame here, just wanted to comment on something you mentioned in the above, re the difference between "i need to submit" and "my submission is a gift." you assume that the need to submit equates to pleasure in submission, which is often not the case. i feel i'm a natural submissive...have always had a strong need and drive to submit. however, it does not necessarily bring me pleasure to submit...i don't always desire to submit. yet i still need to submit. it's a bit like, you need to drink water, in order to live. yet, you may hate drinking water, except on those superhot super humid days when you've been outside sweating all day, and on those days that water is delicious. but regardless, you need the water. that is the way it is with my submission. it has nothing to do with desires or likes, it is just a necessity.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 6:18:28 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		blmtrse,

An interesting turn of events, but in final form his was a need as I read it!

CP

(in reply to blmtrsne)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 8:35:30 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

tempting,

thanks for that input, your correct of course that it is an individual thing for each person but the two choices seems to be able to be ploted on a bell curve.

CP
Celtic, I am often, as friend of mine states, find myself a bit outside the bell curve..a wee bit of an outlier maybe?..Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/22/2007 8:42:37 PM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

When I sign on to CM like everyone else, the home page pops up and with it the "on" list of who we seek. I make it a point to read the full profile of that first one, in my case submissives.
Recently the profiles appear to be changeing to a submissive claiming a need to serve as opposed to offering a gift of their submission.

Question, is their a general cultural change going on of just my signing on at a time for "need" subs to be on??

CelticPrince


It's probably just you happen to be around at the same as the need girls, but it could also be that a person who thinks of submission as a gift takes a lot of shit on these forums.

However, my cynical guess is that they think it makes them look hotter. "Look at me, I need to serve!" Like the girls who claim to be nymphos and sex addicts without realizing how not fun those conditions actually are to have. But that could just be my cynical side acting up a bit.


Bingo!
I tried using the lovely romantic language "gift of submission" once too.. got totally hammered with negativity.  I personally think people tend to follow trends in what they put in there profiles.  Remember, subs tend to be followers.   

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/23/2007 7:50:33 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		tempting,

claps, someone that knows what a bell curve is! and what standard diviation might you be found?

CP

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/23/2007 7:54:08 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		octavia,

The operative word there is tends! do not forget the proud brats that walk the path.

CP

(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/23/2007 8:11:27 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		The idea of the "gift" is founded within bullshit.   When you are out of a relationship do you say to yourself, "boy I sure would like to gift to someone my submission tonight."  I don't think so.

What you search for is someone who can fill the need that you have.  This is no different than anything else. Due to the fact that you have vaginas twix your legs you tend to romanticize a lot of shit, this included.

So you wrap your submission up into a nice shiny box covered with yodas and shitting unicorns...and wait for your Prince. In the meantime you masturbate like hell to compensate for your needs and fantasies not being met.

It's a need...Or maybe better phrased as a desire.

_____________________________



(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/23/2007 8:16:32 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source



gift       (gĭft)  Pronunciation Key 
n.  

  • Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.
  • The act, right, or power of giving.
  • A talent, endowment, aptitude, or inclination.

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but clearly the defination of gift is not limited to things that come in boxes.

    _____________________________

    Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

    It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

    Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

    (in reply to domiguy)
    • Profile   Post #: 59
    RE: submission agift or a need? - 7/23/2007 8:34:37 AM   
    domiguy


    Posts: 12952
    Joined: 5/2/2006
    Status: offline     		need  –noun



    1. a requirement, necessary duty, or obligation: There is no need for you to go there.



    2. a lack of something wanted or deemed necessary: to fulfill the needs of the assignment.



    3. urgent want, as of something requisite: He has no need of your charity.


    4. necessity arising from the circumstances of a situation or case: There is no need to worry.



    5. a situation or time of difficulty; exigency: to help a friend in need; to be a friend in need.



    6. a condition marked by the lack of something requisite: the need for leadership.



    7. destitution; extreme poverty: The family's need is acute. –verb (used with object)



    8. to have need of; require: to need money. –verb (used without object)



    9. to be under an obligation (used as an auxiliary, typically in an interrogative or in a negative statement, and fol. by infinitive, in certain cases without to; in the 3d pers. sing. the form is need, not needs): He need not go.



    10. to be in need or want.



    11. to be necessary: There needs no apology. —Idiom



    12. if need be, should the necessity arise: If need be, I can type the letters myself.


    de·sire  
    –verb (used with object)



    1.
    to wish or long for; crave; want.



    2.
    to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request: The mayor desires your presence at the next meeting. –noun



    3.
    a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment: a desire for fame.



    4.
    an expressed wish; request.



    5.
    something desired.



    6.
    sexual appetite or a sexual urge.  Like I said...Desire is probably a better way to describe the feeling that someone actually feels towards their submission/domination. 

    The problem aqua...Is do you ever think about your submission when you are unable to submit?...."Gift" is a poor choice of a word to actually describe the way you feel about your submission....Yes you give your ability to submit to another....I give you a dictionary...Beyond my gift of a dictionary I have no attachment to you or the book....It is a meaningless gesture.....Now if I was a compulsive dictionary giver and I found it to be pleasurable or some how satisfying to give dictionaries away....Then by giving away dictionaries I would be meeting a need or a desire of mine.

    I hope this ends the debate.....It's cute in a vaginal way of thinking...But the term gift is wrong when discussing this topic....I'm glad I could clear this up for you and everyone else.


    _____________________________



    (in reply to AquaticSub)
    Profile   Post #: 60
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