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Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:33:50 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno, just seems we got ourselves an influx of clueless newbies who happily leap into relationships with doms, clueless, idealistic- and then when it all crashes down to earth and reality, instead of saying "Wow I was stupid, shouldn't do that again" they say "Why do doms suck when us subs are so beautiful and wonderful?"

I know, I know, nothing new, nothing different- clueless newbies are everywhere all the time.  But felt like I should do something bold to hopefully help them out.

Doms are people- you are an adult.  Act like an adult who knows how to get involved with other adults using good sense.  Getting into Ds relationships is NOT different from getting into vanilla relationships.  Same issues need to be dealt with.  If you get burned, take responsibility for what YOU did, face reality, and move on.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication
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RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:35:53 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Amen

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:38:00 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Gawd I love ya Em.
Sometimes it seems like people use Ds to get out of taking personal responsibility.  People are people, dom or sub. 
Thanks
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:39:19 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		*Standing applause to LA*

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:42:44 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I'm adding to the standing O!  Nicely said.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dom's are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:43:48 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		the reason that happens is Dom's are suppose to be leaders, educators, and guides and  to help a submissive on their life journey. media hypes a lot of this so you have the balloon effect of a idealism of what they are. do they also step up to the plate no not always.. but they do need to do what they say and a sub needs to do this to a ying and yang balance it has to be only then will they find righteous good things..

(in reply to Aine)
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RE: Dom's are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:47:51 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
the reason that happens is Dom's are suppose to be leaders, educators, and guides and  to help a submissive on their life journey. media hypes a lot of this so you have the balloon effect of a idealism of what they are. do they also step up to the plate no not always.. but they do need to do what they say and a sub needs to do this to a ying and yang balance it has to be only then will they find righteous good things..

Thank you for supporting the baseless dogmatic drivel that keeps the false dream alive.  Doms aren't SUPPOSED to be anything other than what they say they will be.  And most of the clueless subs admit they knew very well what the dom was and ignored it, or they rushed in before they could make anything close to an informed choice.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:50:20 AM   
chathamvahere


Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Could have not said it better myself!!!!!!

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dom's are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:53:38 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It's a post like this that perpetuates the lies.
Geesh.
Submissives can't educate then?  And have no responsibility on their 'life journey'?
Dominants aren't 'suppose' to be anything but themselves and what has been negocitated in the relationship they are entering...
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:54:21 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		your most welcome

(in reply to chathamvahere)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 9:56:16 AM   
chathamvahere


Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello, everyone, we see Vanilla there, don't think that fits, haha anyway lifestyle doms 10 years give or take, we just haven't posted anything on here as far as  forums, this topic struck a chord with us.

(in reply to chathamvahere)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:04:12 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		everyone has a freaking phd in mental health to me it is what each person makes it. you can fallow the sheep baa baa or you can be unique or be stupid choice is yours after years in the lifestyle Realtime One lesson i have learned not matter what you say or do people will do what ever. wither it be a control freak. or someone who has mental issues. or some other reason they are here or maybe they are real who knows but It is up to everyone to find out on their own not for the world to dictate policy to them. try walking sone elses shoes oh wait i forget your shoes are to tight to get off.. maybe instead being so one sided maybe you need get out more and way from the pc namaste

(in reply to chathamvahere)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:08:59 AM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed, LA. On both sides of the fence we are human first. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions and their own journey.

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:14:11 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chathamvahere

Hello, everyone, we see Vanilla there, don't think that fits, haha anyway lifestyle doms 10 years give or take, we just haven't posted anything on here as far as  forums, this topic struck a chord with us.
Post more and the cone changes to something else.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to chathamvahere)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:14:42 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

everyone has a freaking phd in mental health to me it is what each person makes it. you can fallow the sheep baa baa or you can be unique or be stupid choice is yours after years in the lifestyle Realtime One lesson i have learned not matter what you say or do people will do what ever. wither it be a control freak. or someone who has mental issues. or some other reason they are here or maybe they are real who knows but It is up to everyone to find out on their own not for the world to dictate policy to them. try walking sone elses shoes oh wait i forget your shoes are to tight to get off.. maybe instead being so one sided maybe you need get out more and way from the pc namaste

Unfortunately I won't be able to get back to this one until after work, but who the heck are you resoponding to here?  I'm confused.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:18:14 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hey Latex,

Most people posting in this thread ARE real life and have far more experience than you IN REAL LIFE.  It is the bullshit crap about how great dominants are supposed to be, how vital trust and communication are (without any real grasp of how healthy trust is formed or the fact that talking isn't communicating as we speak of it) and the sort of fluffy crap one reads on places like castlerealm that cause all the fucking heartbreak in our community.

I was a pillar of the bdsm community when I was an asshole with anger issues.  I am not running or doing anything at the moment and am a far better person than I was before.  Dominants are people, with issues, problems, and whatnot.  We are not superhuman, we are not perfect, and the louder someone bleeps about how they are the noble exception, the more full of shit I tend to think they are.

LA is right, submissives often come into this thinking us dominants are the answer to their own dysfunction and they need to grow the fuck up and become mature responsible adults and deal with whatever issues they have first.   The more we demand that of people, the more healthy our dysfunctional little community will become.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 7/31/2007 10:19:54 AM >

(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:22:26 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Wow, I dont think I have ever seen you do a starter post----well in My time here---and a very very good one here---seems We Dominants are always expected  to be super human--and yes we are people too, with lives, feelings, emotions, stuff---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:22:52 AM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael



LA is right, submissives often come into this thinking us dominants are the answer to their own dysfunction and they need to grow the fuck up and become mature responsible adults and deal with whatever issues they have first.   The more we demand that of people, the more healthy our dysfunctional little community will become.


My sentiments as well

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:25:37 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		LA,

Aside from this being an unusual post from you sans your long list of info addresses, this was one powerful post that should get folks thinking.

Do not let it get suffled down on the list for too long.

CP

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. - 7/31/2007 10:27:08 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		The fact that one side of the relationship has ceded authority to the other side of the relationship, does NOT, (and thank you LA for pointing it out yet again), mean that he or she is ceding his or her personal responsibility to be a thinking, rational adult. And all the crap about how the Doms are responsible for everything is probably the one of the most destructive pieces of "teaching" that many both D and s-types are told. Couldn't agree with you more LA.

heartfelt

*Man i wish i could type

< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 7/31/2007 10:52:11 AM >

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 20
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