RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (Full Version)

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KnightofMists -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/3/2007 6:34:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

You really cant just let it go....

well that says more about you then it does about me.


Let go of what?    Please tell...



ELUSIVE1 -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/3/2007 6:52:07 PM)

I really tried to read all 9 pages of replies, but realistically,that is way way too much to absorb...there seems to be a lot of people here that relate to the 'suffragette' ideal of m/s...(great now that Bowie song is stuck in my head). . . I can honestly say that I DO things that I may not love doing if it pleases the Dom I am with...but no, I am not only happy when I am miserable, which I see frequently in TTWD



adaddysgirl -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/3/2007 7:21:59 PM)

To the OP,
 
i have read most of this thread but stopped after i saw where it was heading.  But it did spark some thoughts for me which I'd like to share.
 
First of all, i don't see where one would necessarily have to suffer to be considered owned, property, or a slave.  But then again, i would have to say that this all depends on the parties involved.
 
For me, suffering equates to misery and/or something that may cause psychological damage.....and i have (had) enough of that in my life that i would not choose that as part of a relationship.  Nor am i a masochist of any sort so neither psychological nor physical pain are of interest to me. 
 
But i do make a distinction between suffering, and torture.  In past relationships, i engaged in several things that i felt were torturous....but those were actually a part of the initial relationship i agreed to.  A very simple example was having to ask before i used my credit card.  Now THAT was torture!   Or being made to wear something i wouldn't be caught dead in (as in, please do not bury me in these clothes!).
 
But i also realize that suffering is a very subjective matter.  What i might consider suffering may not be so to another; what i consider torturous may not be so to another.  So be it.  Neither is wrong for their perceptions of those terms.
 
D/s just has so many variables that blanket statements really just make no sense.  And to not be able to accept that "your kink may not be my kink, but that is okay" is just useless. 
 
As humans, it seems that some people need to suffer;  some don't need to but will accept it as part of their lives; and others (such as myself) prefer not to go that route at all and when looking for a partner, would seek out one who felt the same.
 
i would not judge what others prefer/need in their relationships, just as i hope others will not judge me.  i realize that i am not a masochist nor a slave type so what i look for may be different than many others on here.  And that's okay too.  To each their own.
 
Daddysgirl



welshwmn3 -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/3/2007 10:21:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

A lot of what i wrote yesterday was written while angry and was very defensive. Not very well thought through eather. 

He has asked me to do things i would rather not do, I have done them, but they didnt make me suffer, they didnt thrill me eather and I would have rather not done them. I didnt mean to give the impression that I have never done things I didnt want to do for him, but then again i have done the same things for friends and family, I dont really view it as suffering i view it as part of my obligation to them, and it was never done just for the sake of maikeing me do something i didnt want to do, it was done because it was something he needed or wanted done and not just to see me suffer.

So please do forgive (and maybe forget?? LOL) the things I wrote yesterday, I wasnt thinking well and my brain was clouded by anger (and really not at what people wote here, I came here in an already bad mood do to some life issues, came here to unwind and that really didnt work out)

The post that triggerd the attacks (and Im not refering to the personal one made by Kyra which I still feel was unwarented and mean spirited)was written poorly and most deffinetly could have been worded in a way that didnt make me seem as if i was beeing judmental and condeming becuase I wasnt or at least I wasnt trying to be, I admit that was my mistake and I didnt mean to offend people. I personaly dont like testing and dont like to be tested have had very bad experianses with it and let that cloud my writeing when writeing on the subject, i do still feel that testing is not something I want in my relationship however but thats just me.

ms


I completely understand.  I've had days when I really shouldn't be near a computer because of my emotions.

I hope today is better for you.



rimbaud -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 7:22:37 AM)

Dear Latex,
Yes, we all make mistakes. In trying to type ever faster and faster (and learn a different keyboard in the process) I sometimes send things out that make me unwilling to believe I was a proofreader for years. However, really poor spelling (aside from the occasional authentic dyslexic) is indicative of treating language as an oral rather than an intellectual means of communication. This will inevitably maintain the writer's speed of understanding language at the low level typical of the uneducated. It is rare that anyone can speak at more than 200 words per minute (if they could it probably would not be understood). But reading at the rate of 600 words per minute is not unusual if one learns properly, and 1000 is an attainable goal. Misspellings at that rate of speed are a real impediment and can also lead to misunderstandings. The purpose of spelling is not to convey the sound of the spoken word, which becomes irrelevant when reading more complex ideas than mere narrative anyway, but to elucidate etymological ontogeny. When your car is properly tuned up, tooling down the freeway is effortless. If a spark plug is not functioning properly or a tire is going flat, you must either slow down or risk an accident. When I am reading for comprehension, a misspelled word has the same effect. It also turns me off to see errors on signs, where people should think a little before inscribing their writing on metal. I would not buy any paper if the sign outside says "Stationary Store". Nor would I buy furniture advertised as a "3-piece living-room suit". There used to be a store in New York selling leather goods called "Salon de Cuire". Fortunately, they went out of business. The recent sad demise of Beverly Sills perversely reminded me of the way the first sentence of her autobiography was printed in the first edition. "At the age of three and a half I gave my first recital in pubic." One professor, lecturing on spelling,  told of an article in an army magazine extolling a recently-retired officer as a "battle-scared veteran". They printed a correction in the next issue, explaining that they meant to refer to him as a "bottle-scarred veteran".
Incidentally, I don't believe that a slave has to suffer to be a good slave, but she should give some consideration to how disobedience could cause her Master mental anguish, which is more painful than physical pain. Hope I haven't make too many enemies by this spasm of honesty.
Best wishes to all,
Arthur



Archer -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 11:34:50 AM)

The thing to remember is this is a message board not a magazine, nor a sign, nor is it an article for a scholastic work. It is conversational. I post the entire thing in the space of a minute or two at most. Little rule I like to use is if the proofreading/spell check takes longer to complete that the posting then you have a real problem.

When I write for publication, when I write a report, when I write for things where time is not as significant a factor then I compose in Word and spellcheck.
When I write to a message board I compose it in the program provided and post it.
But I rarely gig someone else over spelling errors, I might gig them on word choice.





MagiksSlave -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 12:44:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The thing to remember is this is a message board not a magazine, nor a sign, nor is it an article for a scholastic work. It is conversational. I post the entire thing in the space of a minute or two at most. Little rule I like to use is if the proofreading/spell check takes longer to complete that the posting then you have a real problem.

When I write for publication, when I write a report, when I write for things where time is not as significant a factor then I compose in Word and spellcheck.
When I write to a message board I compose it in the program provided and post it.
But I rarely gig someone else over spelling errors, I might gig them on word choice.





Exactly, My spelling is really really bad (I am dyslexic), I try and for the most part I think people understand what it is Im saying. I spell phenetically(sp) so  my words are recognisable if not spelled right. I know this about myself so when I write a paper for school or the newspaper (im on the univercity news paper) I spell check re spell check and then have my mom or sister spell check it for me as well. However Im not gunna to that for a post here!!

ms



Wildfleurs -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 2:35:07 PM)

I’m not hugely picky about typographical errors and exceedingly proper grammar, but I do think its basic politeness to run a spell check before posting on an email list.  And I think if you want to be understood clearly and correctly its worthwhile to at least proof read and spell check your posts, especially if you know you have an impediment to people understanding you.



velvetears -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 3:57:44 PM)

i understand her fine. Her spelling mistakes don't make what she says unintelligible, people just choose to put others down in this respect to make themselves feel superior, what a sad way at that to go about it.



MagiksSlave -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 4:27:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

i understand her fine. Her spelling mistakes don't make what she says unintelligible, people just choose to put others down in this respect to make themselves feel superior, what a sad way at that to go about it.


Thank you,

I deffinetly think that my posts are comprehendable... my spelling is bad but the words are at least recognisable... I dont do spell check because the spell check for this forum doesnt work on my pc.

ms



Honsoku -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 6:50:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Thank you,

I deffinetly think that my posts are comprehendable... my spelling is bad but the words are at least recognisable... I dont do spell check because the spell check for this forum doesnt work on my pc.

ms


Have you tried Firefox? Firefox has a spellcheck feature similar to Word that works here (for me at least).

Honsoku



ExSteelAgain -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 8:43:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

i understand her fine. Her spelling mistakes don't make what she says unintelligible, people just choose to put others down in this respect to make themselves feel superior, what a sad way at that to go about it.


True. People are complex and I try to decipher what they mean, their motives and what have you. It is often that some are simply trying to be conversational with the bigger motive of making friends. Woe be to me to be negative to such folks.



smilingjaguar -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 10:57:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
i understand her fine. Her spelling mistakes don't make what she says unintelligible, people just choose to put others down in this respect to make themselves feel superior, what a sad way at that to go about it.


I understand what words she means to type.  That's not what I see to be the problem.  The tone and organization of her posts often makes it sound like she is having a hysterical hissy fit and is probably contributing to the interpretation of her posts as judgmental.  The excessive exclamation points do nothing to change this perception.  I used to have the same issues with her posts and finally came to the conclusion that while she may be a nice person her communication style is quite alienating.  When words are all you have to go on, the style of the prose, the punctuation, and yes even typographical errors do significantly change how one is perceived.  If someone were to show up in real life with mismatched clothes and hair that hasn't been washed in a month, you bet people would use that information to form an opinion of that person.  I don't see why people want to pretend that basic composition skills (or the lack thereof) shouldn't be used when forming an opinion of someone.



Wildfleurs -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 11:08:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

I understand what words she means to type.  That's not what I see to be the problem.  The tone and organization of her posts often makes it sound like she is having a hysterical hissy fit and is probably contributing to the interpretation of her posts as judgmental.  The excessive exclamation points do nothing to change this perception.  I used to have the same issues with her posts and finally came to the conclusion that while she may be a nice person her communication style is quite alienating.  When words are all you have to go on, the style of the prose, the punctuation, and yes even typographical errors do significantly change how one is perceived.  If someone were to show up in real life with mismatched clothes and hair that hasn't been washed in a month, you bet people would use that information to form an opinion of that person.  I don't see why people want to pretend that basic composition skills (or the lack thereof) shouldn't be used when forming an opinion of someone.


Thank you.  You put it much better than I did.

C~



MagiksSlave -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/4/2007 11:25:56 PM)

Honestly if people want to judge based on spelling let them, if they want to judge based on how something is written that is up to them, I take much more into consideration the content of the post and not so much how it is written. You think my style is alienateing thats fine, I dont happen to agree. I know a few of my posts adgitate but honestly I think everyone has posts that piss others off. There is no way to avoid that exept not to post. Over all how ever i dont think the way I post at all alienates people. In fact I must be aprochable because I cant even count the number of e-mails I get on the other side asking for further help or advise...For the most part I am a very open and easy to aproch person. Both in real life and online I have never have anyone tell me that they felt the way I wrote or acted made me seem unaprochable or that they felt alienated by it, I actually get the opposite... Its your opinion and I will take it into consideration and see if I can see what you are saying in my future writeing, but as of right now I dont see it. (save for a few posts made in the heat of the moment but I dont think that counts for even a small persentege of my posts, everyone has posts like that and Im not exempt from haveing the off post)


Though I guess some people view alienateing others as haveing a different opinion then them. And honeslty Im opinionated and not shy to express said opinion. If that makes me seem alienating to others then well I guess Im alienating but this is who i am and im not changing that to apease others that dont like my opinions.

ms



smilingjaguar -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/5/2007 12:27:59 AM)

MS,

I didn't mean to offend and I went quite out of the way trying not to do so.  I do know that in life you're going to make people angry.  It's a given, and I know it far better than I'd like to.  There's a difference between making people angry due to the actual intended content you write and making them angry unintentionally due to writing style or some other factor and being blind to it.  How we say things do affect the reactions we get.  "Give me a f*^%ing piece of chocolate pie, Sir" and "Sir, may I please have a piece of chocolate pie" are going to have vastly different reactions even though the same thing was asked for in both examples.  I have wondered if you knew or cared that this could very well play a part in the reactions you get to your threads, and I guess I have my answer, huh? [:D]  Oh well.  I had my thinking hat on and my heart was in the right place when I wrote it, for what it is worth.  I'm sorry you chose to take it as an attack when it was really meant as helpful.



MagiksSlave -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/5/2007 12:43:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

MS,

I didn't mean to offend and I went quite out of the way trying not to do so.  I do know that in life you're going to make people angry.  It's a given, and I know it far better than I'd like to.  There's a difference between making people angry due to the actual intended content you write and making them angry unintentionally due to writing style or some other factor and being blind to it.  How we say things do affect the reactions we get.  "Give me a f*^%ing piece of chocolate pie, Sir" and "Sir, may I please have a piece of chocolate pie" are going to have vastly different reactions even though the same thing was asked for in both examples.  I have wondered if you knew or cared that this could very well play a part in the reactions you get to your threads, and I guess I have my answer, huh? [:D]  Oh well.  I had my thinking hat on and my heart was in the right place when I wrote it, for what it is worth.  I'm sorry you chose to take it as an attack when it was really meant as helpful.


Ok now you are reading way to much into what is writen. I didnt say I felt attact I adressed your post without beeing nasty or saying I felt offended, all I said is I didnt really see what you see. And I know others dont see what you see. I didnt get nasty and I didnt get deffensive. I was actually rather carefull how I said things, which leads me to think that you are seeing what you want to see and not what is there. I didnt take offecne to what you said I even said that in the future I would take it into consideration and be more carefull in my posting, I dont really know where I you got that I was offended.

ms



smilingjaguar -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/5/2007 12:59:00 AM)

I'll just write the whole thing off as an example of the perils of miscommunicating because if I were to pick one word from a post and repeat in over and over again in a reply, you bet it would be defensive (and possibly quite offensive, as well).  I never thought your reply was nasty, I was simply concerned because I thought you might have felt attacked or offended by the my reply and I wanted to make sure you knew that was never my intent.

For the record, I did not see where you had said that you were dyslexic and spell things phonetically.  That is quite a different animal to being lazy and not using spell check, and any person with half a brain should know that.



MagiksSlave -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/5/2007 1:05:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

I'll just write the whole thing off as an example of the perils of miscommunicating because if I were to pick one word from a post and repeat in over and over again in a reply, you bet it would be defensive (and possibly quite offensive, as well).  I never thought your reply was nasty, I was simply concerned because I thought you might have felt attacked or offended by the my reply and I wanted to make sure you knew that was never my intent.

For the record, I did not see where you had said that you were dyslexic and spell things phonetically.  That is quite a different animal to being lazy and not using spell check, and any person with half a brain should know that.


I wasnt offended, i just dont 100% agree or see what you see. However Im always greatfull for the feed back, as for not seeing where I said I was dyslexic, it happens. Thank you for aknoladging it now though.

ms



kyraofMists -> RE: To be a slave you must suffer, who the hell made this rule?! (8/5/2007 7:28:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar
When words are all you have to go on, the style of the prose, the punctuation, and yes even typographical errors do significantly change how one is perceived.  If someone were to show up in real life with mismatched clothes and hair that hasn't been washed in a month, you bet people would use that information to form an opinion of that person.  I don't see why people want to pretend that basic composition skills (or the lack thereof) shouldn't be used when forming an opinion of someone.


I know that how people write plays a role in my perception of what they are saying and a small part in my opinion of them.  The use of profanity in a non humorous discussion will often give a perception of hostility.  The use of absolutes will often demonstrate black and white thinking that is indicative of close-mindedness to me or it can be a demonstration of lack of thought being put into what is said.  Negative judgments about a group of people based on a very small sliver of information about them can also indicate a close minded person.

Spelling mistakes are par for the course in reading message boards and I don't think they demonstrate much about a person's intelligence or lack thereof.  I do notice that the more a person's emotions are controlling what they are writing rather than intellect controlling what is being written, the more often they make spelling mistakes.  Excessive use of question marks or exclamation points is another indicator that the content may be running on emotions rather than intellect.

It is not often that I will get involved in a thread that has these elements to it; though there are times that I think what I have to say is significant enough to warrant posting.

Knight's Kyra



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