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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 4:08:04 AM   
one2takememakeme


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline 		I think society , in general ,looks askew at this life style because its not the norm of society.all mainstream religions are patriarchial, christianity, judaism, muslims  etc ,which  like it or not , has had the most major influence on societal outlooks .most people have at least a minor background in at least one of them ! realy the same could be said for male the dominated executive world, although some women are now making it to the top of some corporations.
  many women complain that men recieve higher pay for the same jobs, yet women are hired for many jobs because they will accept less pay than men !  ie. bank tellers , check out   ,dept stores etc. cant have it both ways now can we ?
but the question was  " do Dommes hate men"? I think the answer could be found in another question " Do Dommes like chocolate ice cream ?" answer the second question , and you will answer the first !

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 9:00:40 AM   
jj292


Posts: 100
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		There is a big difference though between pro-dommes and lifestyle dommes.
The relationship between a pro-domme and her sub is a very cold one. There is no real emotional attachment. There is no real bond between them. The only glue in that relationship is the money and sexual attraction. Most pro-dommes also don't get very many submissives that are serious. Many subs that seek pro-dommes are married or new to BDSM and don't want a real relationship.
What happends if one day he shows up and says he doesn't have money anymore? She'll dismiss him. Like I said, it is a very cold relationship.

This starts to tie into another thread I was reading about why so many female dommes consider their male subs "disposable." You look around the net or at fem dom profiles and the attitudes are very cold.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 9:50:36 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?


There has to be some truth to stereo typing or it wouldnt be done.
Do I agree with it NO.

Do I fit the profile...yes to some extent I do hate men.
NOT all men just some of them.

Being a Dominatrix is not an easy way to make a buck.
There is a lot of work that goes into it just like any other job.
I happen to love it enough that I dont mind the work.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 10:40:39 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?


What radio show was it ?

Many in the media have their own ideas on the subject, i get suspicious that chat shows and documentarys are often bised one way or the other. i would expect the majority of vanilla people neither know nor care much about the Lifestyle.

Sure some Dommes but not all of them hate men. The whole problem of how the Lifestyle is percieved in general is due to a lack of decent information being available. i am glad to see this is changing though.

A final point is if a Pro Domme hates Her clients ( and im not saying they do ) As long as the client gets what he pays for where is the problem ?

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 10:40:42 AM   
goddessAVA


Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		yes one can become very bitter in 25 years-your experience with pro's must be extensive to make such definative remarks, as is the rest of the quote lifestylers here.  Ms Pandora's reply was brilliant, it should have ended the the thread  but alas this is a subject we never tire of is it?  Really-read some of the posts on Max Fisch and then make your judgements as suggested.

My feeling is all this bitterness and consternation is due to boys who could not get lucky an a kitty factory sending emails to the profiles with pics of impossibly hot 18-22 year olds and shockingly enough-they get nowhere other then send me money!?!

Just an aside-I never do cyber, phone or financial domination, although I pass no judgement on those who do.  I am a play junky-I see the same people over and over and yes I have been known to play for free if they are in a tough situation and I am in the mood(which I happen to be more often then not).  My point is obviously stop painting with such a broad brush, get some game and worry about yourself, not what others are doing.

anyway YAWNNNNNNNNNNNN can we talk about some real bdsm like farting fetishes and otk's that make a sub cry?

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to jj292)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 10:46:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?


I certainly do not hate men, cannot say I hate anyone, to be honest. Not worth the time, energy or bad karma.

The few vanilla people that know this facet of me do not indicate they think of me in a more negative light because of it. They are perhaps, intimidated to a degree, but I don't mind that at all. Besides, most people are intimidated without knowing everything.

I guess I don't see the sterotype so I would say there is no truth. But that is just me and my own happy little world.

I do however hate, detest, despise, cooked turnips. The turnips, in turn, think I am a terrible person for it.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/1/2007 10:48:16 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 11:43:45 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?
For one thing, cyberdude, you're talking about two totally different creatures here. It's like starting a conversation about the way whores are treated and, in mid conversation, say you don't understand why prudes are treated like that. A whore is nothing like a prude just as a dominantrix is nothing like a domme.

As for the stereo type that a dominatrix is a man-hater looking to make a buck, it's about as true for a dominatrix as it is for whores.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 11:48:44 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

There is a big difference though between pro-dommes and lifestyle dommes.
The relationship between a pro-domme and her sub is a very cold one. There is no real emotional attachment. There is no real bond between them. The only glue in that relationship is the money and sexual attraction. Most pro-dommes also don't get very many submissives that are serious. Many subs that seek pro-dommes are married or new to BDSM and don't want a real relationship.
What happends if one day he shows up and says he doesn't have money anymore? She'll dismiss him. Like I said, it is a very cold relationship.

This starts to tie into another thread I was reading about why so many female dommes consider their male subs "disposable." You look around the net or at fem dom profiles and the attitudes are very cold.


Yes, I can see that's true all the time, by the responses of every single ProDomme who replied to this thread (Not).

Anyway - that aside - Realistically speaking, is there some good reason ProDommes should be getting all emotionally attached to the people who pay them for BDSM interactions? 

It's a business arrangement, I agree. And so? This means...what, exactly? Does it mean the same thing in every single case? That must mean, therefore, that none of them, anywhere, have any capacity to love anyone in a permanent relationship? What are you insinuating?

Some ProDommes I've read about can also have a separate, long-term and loving BDSM partner in their lives. And they do. 

What about them? Perhaps you think this never happens. In which case, you'd be wrong.

If you don't believe me, I'll just wait for the responses from some Pro-Dommes with loving partners to roll in...

*This possibly isn't pertinent, but the idea of "Cuckolding" is quite a hot one to some (not all) male submissives. I figure their GF being a ProDomme wouldn't bother some of them at all. Not that being a ProDomme would necessarily be considered to be "Cuckolding", really. After all, being a Pro-Domme is a business, whereas for some people (depending on their definition) "true" "Cuckolding" might have to involve some emotion on the part of the ProDomme toward a male (which you seem to be claiming they are incapable of in the first place), so I guess it's a moot point.

But maybe I am misinterpeting what you meant. But - it might be something for you to contemplate...you might also want to contemplate whether "Cuckolding"(*which is someone having sex and-or BDSM actvity with another person, in the presence of their partner) is really a truly hateful act  - if the male wants it - and if it results in a satisfying interaction for the people involved.

*Especially when other concepts, such as Polyamory, are considered to be A-Ok, and even rather run-of-the-mill, by many other folks, (including some male submissives) in the BDSM world.

- Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/1/2007 12:42:41 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to jj292)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 11:49:13 AM   
Sexy28YrOldDomme


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/24/2007
Status: offline 		I hate some men most of the time, or most men some of the time. 

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 11:57:36 AM   
ranrich


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		I have known a number of prodommes over the years and I believe that rather than hate men they almost all like men . If they did not, they would not be able to perform the service they do. They have to get a little inside the head of every man who comes to see them and that presupposes that there is empathy between the domme and the client. Not much empathy can exist where a person hates the opposite gender. I have seen a few dommes many times over a period of years and several I have formed genuine friendships with. One in particular I count as a good friend. We have many conversations online and otherwise about subjects which have nothing to do with BDSM. She is one of the finest people I know.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 12:14:14 PM   
Angelsmile


Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.

It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.

What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?


To be a true good domme or dominatrice one must really love men to a higher extend and have an empathy for them and understanding of their needs which is far beyond the usual vanilla level. So one must really love them. Radical feminists are quite the opposite, as they hate men (for some unknown reason *g).

Radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck as you say are just what they are : radical feminists. Even if they "do domme like things" to a man that will never make them a domme at all, because there will always be missing that natural dominant part of a true domme.

Regarding the next point, I think that dommes are viewed in a much better light by the vanilla world then male doms, male subs or sissy boys because understanding for their way is still missing.

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 12:25:06 PM   
MistressCass


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

First off, I think you need to look around this website and the internet a bit more if you think most dominas dont demand cash from their subs. 90% of the female dominant profiles on this site alone demand money up front before they will even answer your e-mail.

And I just love the ones that say you have to pay them $100 to prove you are "worthy." LOL! In other words, they want proof the person they are talking to is rich and can provide for the lavish and spoiled lifestyles they think they deserve. Most of these women have also never worked a day in their lives, will never accomplish all that much, and will always depend on men to stay afloat.


I know 10 Dominant women, in real life, who never have taken a CENT from their subs, except in the normal dating/guy buys dinner way.  And most of them buy the dinner the next time, so it works out even in the end.  

Perhaps online isn't the best place to seek a partner, if money is such a huge issue for you?  

But in defense of those who *do* demand cash up front....it takes a lot of time to sort through all the replies many Dommes get online.....if I had a 100 bucks for each time I spend weeks talking to a male to have him poof off the face of the earth I'd be going to DISNEY this summer.

But the question asked in this thread is "Do Dominatrix's hate men"......if you think about it logically.....if you, personally HATE something, what do you do with regards to that object/thing?    *Avoid it*????   So I have to conclude that Dominatix's don't ate men, they enjoy the money they get for pretending to abuse them and the radio show was just perpetuating the stereotype that the vanilla world has of those involved in alternative lifestyles.  (sorry if this opinion has already been expressed.....I'll admit I didn't take the time to read all the posts)

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 12:31:19 PM   
Angelsmile


Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Well since most male Doms are not demanding cash from their subs there is a obviously a smaller chance ....



Hello domiguy,

 sorry to say ...em... You err, there are also male professional  dominants and yes, they DO ask money for their services. The only difference is that they have tendency not to ask for as much money for their services as their female colleagues do.

Angelsmile

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 12:34:12 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Indeed.  It's also worth considering, that such men usually have male clients.  

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Angelsmile)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 12:43:09 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		well Dommes do  not hate men just other Dom's. here is why a lot of Dom's feel that a  Domme should be under them.
this is mostly a power struggle thing... i have heard this from a lot of Dommes when they goto events or even at munches. that is from what i hear in the grape vine

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 8/1/2007 12:50:41 PM >

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 12:54:11 PM   
golddragonlady


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: north east, UK
Status: offline 		LMAO at some of these replies

I don't hate men.  I find in the arena I am in (I don't mean CM), it is clear that many of the Doms dislike women, as they accept posts from sub women and rail freely against similar posts from Dommes.  But that is at most irritating, and mostly just funny.

It takes all sorts.  I suspect SOME Dommes are in this as manhaters, just as SOME subs (men or women) are in this because they have a deep rooted sense of self-hate, but to self-flagellate these days is not aceptable (unless you are a member of Opus Dei)

live and let live

_____________________________

GDL

never give a woman advice... in fact, never give a woman ANYTHING she can't wear for a night out

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 1:21:48 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear cyberdude611, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Speaking for myself, I identify as a Dominant and I do not hate anybody --not even men.  However, I do hate what some people do and their behaviors and or attitudes.  But, I only see that anybody who has a hateful manner is a mirror of their soul.
 
That said, I must wonder how the original topic took root.  I wish to add, that there will be those scenes and or role-play cases which can lead someone from the 'peanut gallery' to assume there is genuine hate involved.  There are some who will hate and do hateful things to one another but, that has been the curse of civilization, society and human kind as long as time past and remains until time's ending.
 
Having never charged a penny/pence for anything as a Dominant Lady, I have been independent and have not depended on men to stuff my money bags.  It would be nice to find a gentleman who had the means to support a lady who was Dominant but, the individuals who are in the life style grow poor--just in buying all the beautiful goodies like whips, canes, crops and single tails [Grins]. 
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted with a bit of wit,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 4:29:30 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

First off, I think you need to look around this website and the internet a bit more if you think most dominas dont demand cash from their subs. 90% of the female dominant profiles on this site alone demand money up front before they will even answer your e-mail.



While I doubt all of us get identical results, my experience here on CM has been far removed from your description.

quote:

And I just love the ones that say you have to pay them $100 to prove you are "worthy."  


I don't doubt that this has happened to some malesubs on occasion, but I've yet to have one Domme communicate this to me here on CM. 

quote:

In other words, they want proof the person they are talking to is rich and can provide for the lavish and spoiled lifestyles they think they deserve. Most of these women have also never worked a day in their lives, will never accomplish all that much, and will always depend on men to stay afloat.


How could you possibly know all this, without getting to know these women better? And from your description of these women, you couldn't have gotten to know them better, unless you ante-upped the $100. 

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 4:38:25 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		subfever: I appreciate you citing your experience as a submissive man, and thus, "balancing out" the view that seems to prevail among some folks, that all Dommes, everywhere (lthough personally I am referring to "non-Pros"), charge something for their "services", (and-or what I view as a consequnt insinuation that none of them, anywhere, seem to want (or are maybe capable of having) a relationship with a man. Thank you.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/1/2007 5:10:30 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 8/1/2007 4:40:34 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I love men.  I think every woman should own one, or two, or three, or .........

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 60
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