amelliagrace
Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
I put several years of blood sweat and tears trying to make sure that men with no other outlet had access to safe, proffessional, and yes, CARING SM experiences. Call me naive, but if a shrink an MD a dentist and anyone else who takes money for personal services can be said to be caring, so could I. Men entrusted me with their fantasies - I protected their identity, dignity, and the INTEGRITY of the fantasy - even if it was "I need you to spit in my face and make me your pig" that has integrity in my personal world. If someone has a deeply held fetish or fantasy about being used and having his money taken it's not the be-all-end-all of SM but how is that more fucked up or less legitimate than a rape fantasy?
It isn't, of course.
So yeah, I really really hate men.
Amazing, isn't it? You share the same boat with the male dominants who, upon emerging, deal with major internal issues - many of those issues arising simply BECAUSE they love and respect women as people. A man can wrestle long and hard with feeling he's a monster for wanting to inflict pain or control, etc., because society has taught him there is never an acceptable context for that behavior. Eventually, he starts to ask, "But what if she wants it, even needs it, to be healthy and happy?" The most fortunate eventually find themselves both saying and believing, "I'd never do this to a woman who didn't long for it, or one that it robbed personhood from. We balance each other. I sure wouldn't go to all this effort and care for someone I didn't give a shit about." Why do people still, at this late date, still cling to the misbegotten notion that women are inferior to, rather than different, from men? Or that being a male dominant means your more loving than a female dominant. Sheesh.
Something that may not have been mentioned yet in this thread, (sorry if it was and I overlooked it) is that there are far more submissive hetero men than there are Dommes. There simply are not enough to go around. For many of those men, the services of a professional dominant may be the ONLY outlet they ever have access to. It is far easier for a submissive woman to find a bdsm partner, and even at that, I've experienced enough lack in my own life at times to understand that pro dominants are an assett to humanity. I suppose some people might feel that if they want to benfit society, they should do it for free, but the time required to do much of it would seriously impact the time needed to earn a livelihood. Seems wrong to me to throw stones at someone who does.
Because one is not a good businesswoman when she cares quite as much as I did.
Smart woman. And thanks for sharing your personal view and experience.
General commentary to no one in particular: The world is full of men who hate women, and women who hate men. Some of them practice avoidance. Others strive to manipulate and control that which they despise. Some work hard at never missing an opportunity to victimize the other. Saddly, the phenomenon isn't restricted to the nilla world. Like it or not, one of the reasons this lifestyle/path/WIITWD, has such low regard in the nilla world is because their ARE predators and unstable, users and abusers, masquarading as dominants and submissives. Seeing and understanding the differences can be a real challenge for a lot of people. When you listen to some of the discussions in forums like this, it is easy to see why not much progress is being made in enlightening the nilla world.
-grace
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RE: So do Dommes hate men? - 
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