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Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:11:30 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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So, here I am, today, Donna. A bit broken a bit sad still but alive and not masochistic enough to deny who I am for too long. I am meeting someone new over Labor Day weekend. No big deal, right? I've been doing this oh 13 years now and I've met more than my fair share of people for the first time. I'm not a nervous individual. I don't get scared or worried or even over the top excited usually and in this case remain pat in that.

As a rule I refuse to even drive outside of my home town to meet someone unless it is a trip to the airport and I've confirmed his flight in. I hate wasting time, money and energy on those darned "no show's" we have all encountered. This time I am breaking free of what I typically do and expect. I am going to meet him. Not only am I going to meet him, I'm going to drive 8 hours to do it.

Now as you laugh yourself stupid over this, I'm also going because I am a Ren Faire geek and I understand Minneapolis has one of the best in the Midwest. I am also going because I feel like I need to do something drastic to regain my center again. It was pretty skewed when Robert left and still is to some degree. I believe getting out of this house for a weekend may be just the ticket.

Now, don't get me wrong. My initiaitve for taking this trip is indeed this person the other things are fringe benefits. I know the risks in taking this trip. I may go all that way to find out:

he doesn't show at the resturant in which we are to meet
he is a psycho
he isn't psycho but still creeps me out
he smells funny
he lives with his mom
he tries to kill me, rape me, steal from me
he's really needy or boring or any number of things that I don't like personality wise
he doesn't pay his portion of the trip he has agreed to pay

I could go on all day. Of course I will and do take precautions and don't need to hear the idioms on how to stay safe (13 years and still alive...I feel pretty competent and smart).

I'd love to hear your opinions about driving such a distance, why you might do it; why you might not do it and if you have ever felt the need just to begin anew.

Because someone will ask....you all have such enquiring minds; I plan to go there vs his coming here because I wanna. No big nefarious reasons. Nothing like he's not capable, etc. It is just what I chose to do in one of my moments of "Just do it and reap the benefit or pay the consquence mode" (I really love that about me *S*)

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

Post #: 1

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:13:08 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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The distance I have no problem with. I prefer adults to take responsibility and follow their inner desires with actions rather than excuses and you have a lot of great reasons for this action.

I AM concered with the rebound issue. I thought your last relationship went way too fast in all aspects and I get the same feeling here.

_____________________________

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(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 2

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:14:42 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

I'd do it. (I have done it, but usually not for a first meeting.)

Why? I like to see them on their own turf -- how they handle life, their surroundings. When they're on foreign soil, they tend to behave differently and it's easier to be someone else when you're not "at home."

_____________________________

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 3

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:16:48 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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It's kind of cool that Robert can be so quickly replaced....People are disposable and should realize that immediately....Might want to put this last lil' gem in your profile...

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Post #: 4

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:20:42 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

Doing what you are planning on doing, no red flags for me. However I have to agree with LuckyAlbatross, it does seem a bit quick in relation to your other relationship ending. I am sure you are a big girl and in touch with your feelings, emotions etc....Just someone from the outside looking in and from reading your post when you broke up. I would have to question whether you are being fair to yourself in moving forward so quickly in matters that do pertain to the heart.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

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Post #: 5

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:21:26 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

hope springs eternal. i had pretty much given up on happiness when i met my Master. like the kitty in the old scholastic poster," hang in there".
why waste time pining away? get back on that damn horse. have fun be safe.
if all eslse fails, nunneries are way low in their recruitments.
ps. have fun , i do wish you the best

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 6

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:24:05 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

I agree with this maybe being rebound. I think you do need to give yourself more time to recover. At least a few more months. I know, to some extent you feel impatient and you just want to move on, find your perfect slave(s) but that could backfire on you big time, and that is not fun. (I know this from experience, it took me almost 3 years to get over my last relationship and 2 men that I had gotten involved with before I had recovered had wound up getting hurt.) But anyways, have fun, maybe we're wrong, maybe it is time.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:24:11 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Smiles, I have flown across the country and driven to Canada ( 15 hours door to door)--why? because at that time I could, and it allowed Me to maintain the privacy of where I live and to better control the situation ( now how skewed is that thinking?? LOL)----so to Me your 8 hours is a tiny jaunt (smiles)--I wouldn't do it again THAT far, as I have more holdings now that need to be looked after and I found that I did all the work in those situations---however I would do 6-8 hours if it proved worth it---

Yes, I have begun anew, took Me awhile with the trials of the last year or so, but I am beginning anew, and it feels MARVELOUS---use the drive to wash the dust as they say--clear the head, enjoy a trip, shop like a demon and DON'T compare him to robert---

do have fun, be safe ( I know I know, but I wouldn't be Me if I didn't at least say that)--and I hope we see the story of the trip--and if this one doesn't work out, its a start on the road back.

Huge hugs---you go Girl!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 8

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:27:21 AM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The distance I have no problem with. I prefer adults to take responsibility and follow their inner desires with actions rather than excuses and you have a lot of great reasons for this action.

I AM concered with the rebound issue. I thought your last relationship went way too fast in all aspects and I get the same feeling here.

L.A. stole my thunder.
When we are on the rebound, that is a great time to examine ourselves and
the choices we are making.
It sounds like you are taking all the necessary precautions though, so you at least will be safe.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:29:49 AM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It's kind of cool that Robert can be so quickly replaced....People are disposable and should realize that immediately....Might want to put this last lil' gem in your profile...

domiguy, most people can replace others in about 30 days, so I guess this is about
average.
How long does it take you to replace a submissive?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 10

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:30:29 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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Domiguy, Robert was by no means disposable. I didn't ever once say I was replacing him. I remain hurt and I love him very much. He will hold a place in my life for as long as I live and knows he's always welcome here. If I held your opinions in higher regard that really would have hurt. Since I've been around long enough to have seen your posts pppffft to you.

I agree LA, with the rebound issue (that concerns me too). What Robert and I had (have) is much much different than anything I've ever experienced before and leaving a relationship that wasn't filled with anger is very new for me. I don't forsee my going 8 hours to be a life altering experience beyond just breaking free from here. Everything in this house reminds me of what was (I can't even do my laundry without thinking of Robert) and I need a "cleansing."

Will I go over the edge and jump into a sinking boat? I hope not. Do I have the propensity for jumping? Yes. I don't know if my heart will allow me to jump to high this time because there, as I said is a wound vs. anger and hatred toward someone. I've never been here before, so we'll see what I do! I promise not to bitch and moan if I screw up *S* I do know I will never regret the speed at which I loved and lost with Robert. I can't. It was too good while it was there. Thanks for the concern, LA (and others who said the same thing)

edited to add I saw others remark as LA did and I thank you for your concerns.

< Message edited by earthycouple -- 8/5/2007 10:34:03 AM >

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 11

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:33:29 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

Gee Domiguy...how sweet and refreshing....

Donna, in all honesty, Im one of the ones who advocated going right out after a break up and getting back into the action...but I normally mean find some friends and hit the local bar and grope some hot rednecks ass.

As far as driving goes, Ive gone as far as a seven hour drive one way to meet someone off the internet, and that in itself isnt a problem for me at all. I wouldnt want you to rush into anything too quickly, but from the wording of your first post, I dont think thats what you are looking to do. So I would say go, have a good time, but make sure you are honest with yourself about your feelings and if you feel like things are moving quickly, even if you get the feeling you want them too...pull back and move slow anyway....

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 12

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:37:58 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It's kind of cool that Robert can be so quickly replaced....People are disposable and should realize that immediately....Might want to put this last lil' gem in your profile...

domiguy, most people can replace others in about 30 days, so I guess this is about
average.
How long does it take you to replace a submissive?

Less than it took earthycouple....If you can't be snarky on the forums...Then you are simply not capable of being snarky.....I pride myself on my shallowness and snarkiness.

_____________________________

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

Post #: 13

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:40:38 AM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

I have flown across the country, and would do so again for the right person...even contemplating it now actually lol...but seriously, you will get out to the Ren Fair-( one of my fav events, I live about 5 miles from the one here in Charlotte, that lasts for 8 weekends btw)...you will see if you are or have been wasting your time...or possibly meet your new submissive....seems like a win win to me...heck yeah go for it...

_____________________________

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(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 14

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:56:45 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

I see a lot of pettiness in posting this publicly on the forum where your last partner can read it immediately. Very sad.

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'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

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Post #: 15

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:57:02 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

Miss Donna....

i met Sir not quite 2 months after fal passed away. that didnt make me love fal any less, nor did it make me "replace" him. he wanted me not to be without, and i followed his last wishes in seeking again.

i wish you good luck in your visit, and much happiness.

kitten, who knows that while you can replace many things, people are not on that list.

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 16

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 10:58:58 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

I see a lot of pettiness in posting this publicly on the forum where your last partner can read it immediately. Very sad.

I thought that too. I'm sure this won't make Robert feel very good.

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 17

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 11:00:59 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

I'd love to hear your opinions about driving such a distance, why you might do it; why you might not do it and if you have ever felt the need just to begin anew.

Because someone will ask....you all have such enquiring minds; I plan to go there vs his coming here because I wanna. No big nefarious reasons. Nothing like he's not capable, etc. It is just what I chose to do in one of my moments of "Just do it and reap the benefit or pay the consquence mode" (I really love that about me *S*)

It sounds like you have made up your mind - so why are you asking us for our opinion?

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 18

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 11:01:00 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I generally don't do the "drive to meet" someone else the first time around. If I already have a trip scheduled somewhere, like Atlanta, and a person wants to meet Me there, I have no issues with that. It's always cool to just get away for a while.

Reading all of the responses to the OP did bring up a curiosity. Just exactly how long is a person supposed to pine away, and put their lives on hold because a situation doesn't work out? Remind Me to consult everyone the next time a relationship doesn't have a happy ending.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 8/5/2007 11:02:50 AM >

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 19

RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 11:02:17 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

I see a lot of pettiness in posting this publicly on the forum where your last partner can read it immediately. Very sad.

yeah...all that stuff about how I love him and giving him open invite into my home anytime is terrible of me. God forbid I eventually move past him too...that's even sadder because EVERY person knows that once we love and lose we can't ever move forward and share in potential happiness or sadness or whatever. What would I ever do if he and I attended the same munches? Never go back once I found someone new? He could never go back once he found someone new? I didn't drop him. I didn't throw him away. He didn't leave me because of anything bad between us. It just is what it is. How dare I...please forgive me Holier than thou, Elorin

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 20

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