earthycouple
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Joined: 2/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive
As far as making a trip to see someone, I don't see why not. It's fun to do something off the cuff.
As far as diving into a new romance ... it looks WAY too soon. What's the rush, Donna? Let yourself breathe. You've just gotten out of a very intense relationship that was, in part, played out on the boards, and you already have someone who wants to lay himself at your feet. Something seems a little off in expressing your undying love for someone one week, and saying that you are looking at someone else a few weeks later.
I think we all enjoy the buzz of BDSM for different reasons, but it looks like one of your hot buttons is the jolt of intensity, the instant intimacy that this kind of interaction can create. I'm going out on a limb here, but were you attatched to Robert or to the buzz? For your own sake, for Robert's and for the new person, why not wait things out a little?
Respectfully, kindly, curiously,
MSS
MySweet..while I quote you here, this entire post is not directed at you. I do address some of what you say, but overall this is simply meant to say what I have felt reading through everything people have posted to me today.
I wish it had been the buzz...because then I wouldn't hurt so much. I spent most of the morning crying. Not because of the *S* "meanies" (who cares) but because I spent the morning missing little things like the silly comments Robert made during television shows, the way he held still like no one else when I bit him, the way he smells...omg...the way he smells (I could go on for paragraphs). I walk into what was his room and just cry sometimes. No one knows what I've gone through day to day and to presume anything beyond what I've stated isn't fair, but again...I know when I post here, it is only my fault for getting blasted; I own that and if I don't like it I can, well, not post.
Because I do things differently than someone else doesn't make me wrong and I certainally never expected a debate like this today, but well it is what it is.
I've had three great loves in my life. My husband, a dominant/dear friend to this day and Robert. The others that I've enjoyed as play partners or as friends or as whatever....no buzzing there. They are what they are...my friends. I don't "fall" for everyone I meet, I don't dive headlong into everyone I meet. When I do meet someone I feel is special or that I have a connect with that I think could go deeper I don't get wishy washy about it.
I have been very up front with the person I've been chatting with and he knows how I feel about Robert, he knows he could be a rebound and he knows that this may go no where with us. He's said that he feels that people come into our lives for reason and if his reason is a diversion then that's that. He's happy to be of service *S*. Of course my goal is not to use or abuse anyone...never has been.
I don't quite understand why we presume that because someone is meeting a person that means a brand new life love is going to result. I have met 4 people who have come to me via a distance and the only one I "fell for" was Robert. Who's to say this guy will fall for me? Who says I'll fall for him? Not a thing.
I suppose I'd be more concerned were I on the outside looking in if I said something like "wow I found this perfect guy and I'm going to drive up to his hometown and bring him back down here to live with me forever. I've never been so happy with a slave and he's this and he's that." I didn't and am not doing that. I know what this is...it's meeting someone that I've found a commonalities with and enjoy on a basic level of getting to know you.
I wonder would this be a big deal if I were chatting with new people at a local munch or dungeon? Would it be wrong to build up a relationship based on common interests and moving forward as he and I felt comfy if he were the boy next door? Would it be wrong to meet for coffee with someone local tomorrow? There are no promises made to this person and he's well aware of that. As a matter of fact we discussed this (again)in depth this very day because of this thread. I do and have all along had a concern about him in this.
I've also had several email conversations with someone I highly respect from these forums and asked her to be a voice of reason for me before I even created this thread; to get feedback on my rationality right now.
I probably do more reflection into myself than most and I have appreciation for questions posed to me when not being attacked (which most of you did not and thank you for that). I actually think about them. I consider what you have said. I don't discount anything that has the potential to be accurate...which is why I chose the post MSS wrote to reply...she has valid points as does LA and various others.
The trip is not until Labor Day weekend..what is that another month? I'm not all knowing. I'm not perfect. I'm not sure what is going to happen next. I do know that if nothing else, I've been as honest as I can with myself and the other person involved.
For those of you who feel this is a fun read or that there is a large amount of drama or that I'm seeking (insert here). That's ok because there are often times I read and reply to threads for the same reasons. Chances are you people are the ones who missed some of my threads and posts along the way, haven't bothered to get to know me (as well as one can here) or who just like to make fun of something and today was my day.
Specifically to Elorin. I apologize to you for the very directed post and calling you holier than thou. More often than not I agree with your posts and respect your opinions. It struck me very wrong when it was suggested I was being petty or that maybe I was trying to "dig" at Robert. I'd never do that and of all the things I read here today, that truly bugged me. Maybe it bugged me because for a second I thought he may see this and think what you thought. I of course know better...he knows me and he knows our situation better than anyone. He will be nothing but happy for me in anything I do, as I will for him. I will always love him no matter who comes into my life...whether that person comes tomorrow or next year.
Wow...ok, it was just pointed out to me that my OP may come off as "whew he's gone and now I can move on" so to speak. I didn't intend a message like that at all. I reread this DV's eyes and I can see that possibility now. For the record, that was not at all the intent. My intent was to share a position I am taking (breaking out of what I typically do) and see if others break way from themselves too. Taking this trip has nothing to do with Robert or the relationship he and I had. It has to do with me growing as a person and doing new things. If there had never been a Robert and I had still met this person in Minnesota, I think I'd still be making the trip. I'm breaking my own paradigms and I think that's kinda cool. This was never meant to be at anyone's expense or loss. Hum. Thanks DV for helping me get what others may be thinking.
< Message edited by earthycouple -- 8/5/2007 6:39:26 PM >
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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?
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