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RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 7:52:45 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Ms. Donna, Ma'am,

Please make sure the car is mechanically sound, the tires properly treaded
and inflated, and an emergency kit in the trunk. Enjoy the Ren Faire, and
hopefully as well, the connection on the other side.

A well deserved exhale, this is a good thing.

i have traveled, and have had others travel to me in my continuing exploration
as a submissive. Sometimes i pop the champagne, sometimes it's soda pop.
But we thirst if we don't drink at all. Enjoy Your journey and the fresh air.

chia* (the pet)  


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Breaking Free - 8/5/2007 9:54:19 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		(fast reply)
Donna, you have NOTHING to apologize to anyone here about.  Your life is what it is.  You asked for opinions and unfortunately, folks said what was on their mind in a big way.  The bottom line?  Unless they're paying your bills or keeping you happy day to day, let the naysayers kiss your ass if they don't like the path you choose.  It's nice to have opinions and feedback, but in the end, it's only YOUR HEART that matters most.  Take good care of it.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Breaking Free - 8/6/2007 3:12:30 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Hello Donna
 
Well, I am a complete chicken when it comes to driving any distance I haven't driven 50x or more before with someone - so I wouldn't 'drive'  But I would take a plane or train or coach etc to go somewhere or to some place I do not really 'know' - and to meet someone I have never met before and to get to do or see something I would like?  Yes, I would.  And I have.  I would not be with Darcy now if I hadn't taken a 8 hour trip.
At the time the trip was to me, meeting someone with whom I had built up a deep rapport with and enjoing the surroundings together. Think of your trip as cathartic.  Sometimes yeah, timing sucks - but don't waste it when it does because you just never know the paths it can take you on.  Just be responsible, and have no regrets.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Breaking Free - 8/6/2007 3:28:10 AM   
MasterMagnus321


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		Donna-
I have driven to Tennessee form Maryland before, and I would do it again- bad experiences should never shut you down to trying.  Remenber, the Grand Highway is crowded with lovers and searchers and leavers so eager to please and forget... I am, always have been, and will forever be a searcher, either by Myself, or searching with someone, preferably a committed sub interested in giving all required to achieve transcendence...

~MM

_____________________________

Nothing lasts, and yet nothing passes, either.
And nothing passes just because nothing lasts.
-Philip Roth

~MASTERMAGNUS

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Breaking Free - 8/6/2007 4:36:49 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		D<
 
I am with Pandora, this is a place to be able to come and talk about whatever--gees if we had to apologize for every post, bring the "other person" here for their side----well it would pretty much defeat the purpose--life is what it is, we all heal in different ways---drive, fly, walk, run, stroll, skip--but embrace life and let your enthusiasm guide you.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Breaking Free - 8/6/2007 5:01:44 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I hate LDR's, I've encountered enough time wasters to be VERY sceptical and am loathe to go out of My way (I'm around a lot on the London scene so meeting Me at things I will be attending anyhow is quite easy) but can be easily persuaidable to hop into central London to a drink and a chat first face to face meeting. Getting Me to go further.... default = no chance!

However, sometimes there is just such a strong spark, such a rapoure and if the mohamid can't go to the mountain......

At the beginning of this year I traveled the length of the UK for a first meeting because the spark was there and frankly by that point I just had to see if it could be made to work (Six months later I've had to admit it can't be made to work but I don't regret it because she WAS close enough that dispite the headaches, she did make Me smile)

So yep, even an old cynic like Me will take that risk sometimes sweetie when the risk feels worth taking :)

Of course after it didn't work I'm here saying "Never again".... well, never again till the next time that spark kicks in quite that strong *g*


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Breaking Free - 8/6/2007 8:52:04 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

Now as you laugh yourself stupid over this, I'm also going because I am a Ren Faire geek and I understand Minneapolis has one of the best in the Midwest.  I am also going because I feel like I need to do something drastic to regain my center again.  It was pretty skewed when Robert left and still is to some degree.  I believe getting out of this house for a weekend may be just the ticket.

Now, don't get me wrong.  My initiaitve for taking this trip is indeed this person the other things are fringe benefits.


So long as the other person knows the frame of mind you are in, I see no problem with taking the trip.  I've driven considerable distances on a couple of occasions to meet people, even unlikely ones, and haven't been dissapointed...not that they've turned into the relationship of my dreams or anything, just that they proved interesting and exciting encounters.   If I'm understanding your point in making the trip, it seems to be that you want to get out of a rut you seem to feel you are in.  For me, at least, going on a trip usually works for that. 

Good luck.  :)



_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Breaking Free - 8/6/2007 10:39:33 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		I hope my original response to you wasn't taken as anything but concern for your welfare.

As far as the driving....I am about to embark on a 19-25 hour road trip from Oklahoma to Maryland and back again.  I am doing this drive alone.  I am an old pro at road trips so it isn't a big thing for me.  This is however the first time I am doing a drive this far alone.  I am looking forward to it.  Hell we only turn 42 once, right?  As someone said earlier, make sure the maintenance on your vehicle is up to date.  Check all your fluids just before you drive away and make sure you have extra windshield wiper fluid in your car.  You know the one that gets rid of the bugs and has the sheeting action in it.  Good Luck on your trip, enjoy yourself and to thine ownself be true.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Breaking Free - 8/7/2007 12:24:34 AM   
leafwood


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/23/2005
Status: offline 		to the OP,

my Master traveled 1200 miles (a 26 hour greyhound trip) to come meet me for the first time just because we wanted to see if after a 2 and a half year friendship something was there. i think you should go with your gut. i'm sure you've taken all the right steps for your safety and there's no reason not to see if something is out there.

On a side note: i'm a ren faire geek too (I’m crazy enough to work for one) and i can tell the Minnesota faire is FAMOUS on the faire circuit, in fact we recruit people from that faire to work and train new cast for ours. so have fun and don't miss it.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Breaking Free - 8/7/2007 2:30:50 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Donna, knowing how things ended with robert, in terms of there being no rancour and no loss of love, leads Me to think that moving on might be more possible from a relationship that was healthy than from one that was toxic. So I don't think You are rushing it as badly as some feel, and I know some said that only out of genuine concern. And as I surmised in Your OP, and that You have had to point out again, You are just going to MEET this guy! As in have a meal, make eye contact, talk face to face ... no big deal. You don't sound like the sort of person to go head-over-heels in an instant or do anything to jeopardise Your physical or mental safety ... or that of someone else. I can see a very good reason why You might not be comfortable meeting someone locally ... too much to remind You of robert, it's hard enough missing his presence in Your home. The fact that You have other benefits from this trip all make it seem like a very good and cathartic experience to Me. I hope it brings You much joy!

Re travelling? Hell yes, I've done it and not regretted it one bit. That's how I'm with Master! 5000 km is a long way (lots more than 8 hours!) and We have flown it and driven it both ways. Even if things don't work out in the long run ... better to have tried than to be left wondering "what if?" And breaking Your own paradigms isn't always a bad thing either as long as You've thought it out. Master broke His when He moved to be with me ... and He doesn't regret that one bit. So good luck on Your trip, drive safely, take lots of breaks and enjoy all that there is to experience when You get there. Hope You get home in a cleansed and much more positive frame of mind.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to leafwood)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Breaking Free - 8/7/2007 2:48:22 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		(Pets chia* on the head for a good reminder.)  Thank you, chia* for the input on the condition of the car.  It would be, afterall, and eight hour drive and it is always good to think of such things before a trip.
 
And, your safe calls, Donna.  Don't forget those either.  Very important since you will be in a different city.

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Breaking Free - 8/7/2007 7:45:50 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		-Fast Reply-

*wonders where all of the "slow down; go to the munches; take time to heal and know yourself; woah, where's the rush?;" posts that usually follow some subby asking about moving into another relationship just weeks after ending one, are.  By now there would be a full blaze bbq going on. * hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hopes to never see another subbie kebob again....not after this wonderfully supportive session. 

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Breaking Free - 8/7/2007 7:50:12 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NefertariReborn

-Fast Reply-

*wonders where all of the "slow down; go to the munches; take time to heal and know yourself; woah, where's the rush?;" posts that usually follow some subby asking about moving into another relationship just weeks after ending one, are.  By now there would be a full blaze bbq going on. * hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hopes to never see another subbie kebob again....not after this wonderfully supportive session. 



must be nice to be all knowing and think you don't have to read all 70 posts.  I was roasted and supported thank you very much.  I'd think twice before assuming from now on.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Breaking Free - 8/7/2007 11:25:05 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		Let's see, You broke up with Robert 3 weeks ago and you are now thinking of travaling 8 hours to meet a possible new person to bring into your life.
So, you must of had to have some time to get to know this person a little bit before setting up your plans correct?
If so then you must have started looking for this new person shortly after what you have described as a heartbreaking break-up to you, even though on good terms and you can't stand being in your house because everything reminds you of Robert.
 
Going to Minneapolis for the Ren Faire to get out and clear your head is one thing and maybe even a good thing. But going to meet a possible new person to take into your life and Ren Faire is just an added bonus is where I start to think WTF? 
 
For myself, if I loved as hard as you have described and this person still means so much to me that I have to leave my home because thoughts of them are haunting me, would be a HUGE red flag warning me that I am so self involved around my pain that I would be willing to bring an innocent person with desires to maybe find and have a healthy relationship, into my life for my selfish reasons and to entertain me to forget thoughts about another.
 
I just don't see it as a responsible, well thought out, adult decision and not giving a smidget of a thought of what I am going to put this other person through as I try to forget "Robert".
 
I also find it suspicious for you to come here for opinions about "your plans" when Robert comes here and reads the forums and here you are going on about his personal business. I find it somewhat tacky and thoughtless, especially how you claim to still hold him dear.
 
To be honest I think Robert made a good healthy choice in finding the door and taking leave.
 
Missy. 

P.S. When you get close to Mpls. don't go on 35W to get into the city, the bridge is out.

< Message edited by brightspot -- 8/7/2007 11:32:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Breaking Free - 8/8/2007 8:38:19 AM   
soultoshare


Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Donna,

Personally, I'd say go for it......it sounds like you will have a great time, whether you connect with the gentleman you're going to meet or not.  Distance doesn't really matter much in the long run......hell, i keep an atlas in my vehicle cuz I'll get in my car and drive for hours and miles, and that's with no particular destination in mind! 

I also understand your point of breaking away from the everyday.  Memories, even the good ones, suck when the feelings and emotions are still tender, and sometimes, the change of scenery will help us get centered again.  Everyone heals in their own way, and you too need that time to do so. 

I have read your posts on the boards, and while I don't know the specifics of your relationship w/Robert, what I have read indicates that there were deep emotions on both sides.  It sucks that life got in the way, been there, done that.  Only you and Robert know each other enough to determine what would be an insult to the other, but based on what little I have read from both of your posts, he would want you to move on also.  I get the feeling that neither one of you would ever do anything to hurt the other, and that the respect for each other runs deeply on both sides. 

Have a great trip, eat far too many turkey legs, enjoy yourself!

m




_____________________________

This is where I should say something witty.....well, "SOMETHING WITTY!"

**********************************************

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.



(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Breaking Free - 8/8/2007 9:19:55 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

.but I normally mean find some friends and hit the local bar and grope some hot rednecks ass.



By any chance were you at a Tim McGraw concert recently?  I hear Faith was PISSED!

Anyway, not to hijack.....to Donna....it's good to be safe and careful and follow the usual protocols.  But sometimes, if you don't run to the pier, you miss the boat.  Have fun.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 8/8/2007 9:24:42 AM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Breaking Free - 8/8/2007 10:47:45 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

.but I normally mean find some friends and hit the local bar and grope some hot rednecks ass.



By any chance were you at a Tim McGraw concert recently?  I hear Faith was PISSED!



No, No, it wasnt me I swear...I was the one groping Faith

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Breaking Free - 8/8/2007 10:51:15 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

.but I normally mean find some friends and hit the local bar and grope some hot rednecks ass.



By any chance were you at a Tim McGraw concert recently?  I hear Faith was PISSED!



No, No, it wasnt me I swear...I was the one groping Faith


LOL!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Breaking Free - 8/8/2007 2:13:54 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

Let's see, You broke up with Robert 3 weeks ago and you are now thinking of travaling 8 hours to meet a possible new person to bring into your life.
So, you must of had to have some time to get to know this person a little bit before setting up your plans correct?
If so then you must have started looking for this new person shortly after what you have described as a heartbreaking break-up to you, even though on good terms and you can't stand being in your house because everything reminds you of Robert.
 
Going to Minneapolis for the Ren Faire to get out and clear your head is one thing and maybe even a good thing. But going to meet a possible new person to take into your life and Ren Faire is just an added bonus is where I start to think WTF? 
 
For myself, if I loved as hard as you have described and this person still means so much to me that I have to leave my home because thoughts of them are haunting me, would be a HUGE red flag warning me that I am so self involved around my pain that I would be willing to bring an innocent person with desires to maybe find and have a healthy relationship, into my life for my selfish reasons and to entertain me to forget thoughts about another.
 
I just don't see it as a responsible, well thought out, adult decision and not giving a smidget of a thought of what I am going to put this other person through as I try to forget "Robert".
 
I also find it suspicious for you to come here for opinions about "your plans" when Robert comes here and reads the forums and here you are going on about his personal business. I find it somewhat tacky and thoughtless, especially how you claim to still hold him dear.
 
To be honest I think Robert made a good healthy choice in finding the door and taking leave.
 
Missy. 

P.S. When you get close to Mpls. don't go on 35W to get into the city, the bridge is out.


Brightspot we are two of the few here, that think this is very odd behavior.
I have noticed that Dominants are rarely judged as harshly as submissives online.
Dominants are rarely accused of behavior that is questionable, especially Female Dominants.
If nothing else, this is a great case of a Dominants behavior that could be considered off-base and possibly
out of control.
It is a good example that Dominants often don't make the best decisions, and for submissives to be very
careful in choosing the person that they are willing to submit to.
I would encourage any submissive to get to know their Dominant very well before making any serious committment,
especially moving.
This situation may save or spare many.

< Message edited by asubmissiveheart -- 8/8/2007 2:20:50 PM >

(in reply to brightspot)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Breaking Free - 8/8/2007 3:59:52 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

.but I normally mean find some friends and hit the local bar and grope some hot rednecks ass.



By any chance were you at a Tim McGraw concert recently?  I hear Faith was PISSED!



No, No, it wasnt me I swear...I was the one groping Faith


Thanks for keeping Faith busy while I pounced on Tim  <weg>

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 80
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