Sub = Obedient sheep to all????

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Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 12:04:54 PM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello Sir's,
I'm hopeful you can help me with a question that's been very frustrating for me so far.
Why do large percentages of Dom's feel a sub must be subserviant to them if I'm not their sub? Is there some unwritten law that says if you choose to be a sub, you are to expect to be controlled by anyone who claims to be a Dom? In social parties, or even the Dungeon I go to I don't feel it should be necessary to be submissive to all Dom's. I don't understand why I must be in my role to people I don't respect, like or ever intend to submit to or play with. I don't show respect unless I feel their actions warrant that respect. Mind you I'm not mouthy or rude, I'm just not following their directions of me.
Am I wrong?
Sincerely questioning my Position as it pertains to the world at large, and not my friends,
sub suzanne

Post #: 1

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 12:10:41 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Majority this is not the case. In smaller, close-knit groups and families, it might be expected.

For novice doms, they seem to misunderstand and just don't know better.

Personally, I AM a sheep/doormat- if the Owner told me tomorrow to lick and scrape for any person who called themselves a dominant, I'd do it. But it wouldn't be because of anything inherent in that "dom" but rather in the Owner.

But unless it's been made aware to everyone attending, there's no need to bow to authority except when it's been explicitly understood.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 2

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 12:11:42 PM

sudja

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hello Sir's,
I'm hopeful you can help me with a question that's been very frustrating for me so far.
Why do large percentages of Dom's feel a sub must be subserviant to them if I'm not their sub? Is there some unwritten law that says if you choose to be a sub, you are to expect to be controlled by anyone who claims to be a Dom? In social parties, or even the Dungeon I go to I don't feel it should be necessary to be submissive to all Dom's. I don't understand why I must be in my role to people I don't respect, like or ever intend to submit to or play with. I don't show respect unless I feel their actions warrant that respect. Mind you I'm not mouthy or rude, I'm just not following their directions of me.
Am I wrong?
Sincerely questioning my Position as it pertains to the world at large, and not my friends,
sub suzanne

In a word, "No."

Any Dom/me who thinks that you should submit to him/her merely because they are a Dom/me, or claim to be one, doesn't get it, and shouldn't get you.

The ever humble,
sudja

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 3

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 12:16:48 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Similar to Emerald, I do what my partner wants.

So, no I'm not -ever- submitting to anyone else. It may appear that I am, from time to time, but I am, in fact, submitting to my partner's will for me to obey the other.

I believe that we get to pick who we submit to, but that once we pick, we've turned over control. So, I belong to only my partner, but should he tell me to call everyone Your Magesty, I'd do it.

As it is, my partner prefers I obey only him, so I don't call anyone but him "Sir."

I believe, too, if you're unattached, you can treat anyone however you see fit. Your under no more obligation to an alleged dominant than you are to a potato.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sudja)

Post #: 4

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 12:35:09 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

There are plenty of reasons people behave in this fashion. New to the lifestyle. Ignorance in general.
Isn't it everyone's dream to have someone who will obey every word that ever leaves their mouth's? Of course it would get old..but that sort of attention.

So, if someone can get away with it, why not try?

Of course a person with scruples will not but we aren't talking about those types here now are we?

You should only submit to your dom unless your dom tells you otherwise.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 5

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 12:41:00 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sudja

quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hello Sir's,
I'm hopeful you can help me with a question that's been very frustrating for me so far.
Why do large percentages of Dom's feel a sub must be subserviant to them if I'm not their sub? Is there some unwritten law that says if you choose to be a sub, you are to expect to be controlled by anyone who claims to be a Dom? In social parties, or even the Dungeon I go to I don't feel it should be necessary to be submissive to all Dom's. I don't understand why I must be in my role to people I don't respect, like or ever intend to submit to or play with. I don't show respect unless I feel their actions warrant that respect. Mind you I'm not mouthy or rude, I'm just not following their directions of me.
Am I wrong?
Sincerely questioning my Position as it pertains to the world at large, and not my friends,
sub suzanne

In a word, "No."

Any Dom/me who thinks that you should submit to him/her merely because they are a Dom/me, or claim to be one, doesn't get it, and shouldn't get you.

The ever humble,
sudja

You mean just because I say I am a Domme, I can't do whatever I want, and treat anybody any way I want????? Shoot, I guess I need to read the TWUE BDSM DOMINANT RULE BOOK......

(in reply to sudja)

Post #: 6

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 4:14:05 PM

wildangel1012003

Posts: 19
Joined: 4/27/2005
Status: offline

i am realy gald you asked this question
being a novice and not sure of myself yet
i had wondered at times , what i was to do with
Dom's that oredered me around like they woned me , when in fact they do not.
being a unattached sub, and half irish and half cherokee
i do have a smart mouth on me that has at times gotten me into trouble.
I do try to be respectfull, but i do not feel that i owe any one my respect till they have earned it and untill I find the right Dom for me
i refuse to do as i am told just becouse some one is Dom

again good question thanks for posting it

wildangel

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 7

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 6:12:03 PM

Mylee

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I'm respectfull to all, but really truely submit to my Master, if I treated all other Doms the same wasy I respond to or treat or even submit to on the same level that I do with my Master, then my Master would be getting nothing special from me since I would be giving it to ALL. If I was ordered to treat all Doms in a setting just as I would treat the one I am with, then I would do so because that is what He is asking of me, but I feel there needs to be a ballance between showing respect to all Doms and reserving parts only for your Master...

my'lee

(in reply to wildangel1012003)

Post #: 8

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 6:33:19 PM

TahoeSadist

Posts: 176
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

My first thought when I saw the subject line was "For the love of God: HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I use a person's behavior as a sort of litmus test: if they behave like jerks (trying to order everyone around like you describe) then likely they are jerks, and not worth acknowledging. As to why they behave that way, I'm sure the other posters are correct: some are uneducated as to the lifestyle, others are working in their own little fantasy worlds (these two types may be salvagable)and others are simply hopelessly obnoxious. You're perfectly correct in ignoring them and just as correct if you read them the proverbial riot act.

Eric

_____________________________

As long as one of us enjoys it, it's not a total waste

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 9

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 9:33:57 PM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

I dont even calls Dominants or Mistress or Masters Ma am, Sir or do what they say. If its in their nick sure id use it but if they tell me, Refer to me as blah blah im like whatever. Idiots.

(in reply to TahoeSadist)

Post #: 10

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/1/2005 10:01:47 PM

Kindred2Evil

Posts: 227
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

There is no call for anyone to tell you that because you are a submissive or slave that you must obey every Dom Dick and Dommet that comes along.
Respect is one thing, along with courtesy and just general politeness, but the bowing and scraping and so forth is another. Use manners, that should and will mean plenty to any Dom or Domme who is true to what they do and who they are. I never ask or demand Mistress or Ma'am, I have a name, I prefer unless they are collared to me, for them to use. It's Kindred *smiles*
You obey the one to whom you belong, if that entails service to another, then so be it. Otherwise just be polite.

_____________________________

Her touch is on the breeze that brushes your cheek, Her voice rides the thunder as the storm breaks, Her tears will clean your heartache when the rains come, Her sun will light the darkest times when you feel alone...She is the Goddess.

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 11

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 12:14:38 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Why do large percentages of Dom's feel a sub must be subserviant to them if I'm not their sub? Is there some unwritten law that says if you choose to be a sub, you are to expect to be controlled by anyone who claims to be a Dom?

This just happens to be one of my pet peeves. I may be a dominant male but I am also a gentleman. I believe that you treat a woman with respect in any situation, especially if they are your submissive. Those that want to flex their Domly muscles and prove to everyone that they are dominant by treating potential sub's like shit will be alone for quite a while. Just from reading these forums, I have seen countless posts about Dom's writing an opening email demanding submission from someone that they don't even know. If you cannot bother to introduce yourself and nurture a friendship first before attempting a Dom/sub relationship then you miss the point about a relationship at all. I have said this once, I will say it again, have some dominants forgotten about romance? I guess I am from an old school of thought, but I thought the point of searching for a mate involved romance and love.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 12

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 1:56:40 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
I believe, too, if you're unattached, you can treat anyone however you see fit. Your under no more obligation to an alleged dominant than you are to a potato.

Obey the potato.

Attachment (1)

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 13

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 4:03:57 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
I believe, too, if you're unattached, you can treat anyone however you see fit. Your under no more obligation to an alleged dominant than you are to a potato.

Obey the potato.

LOL!

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 14

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 8:42:47 AM

sudja

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

As it is, my partner prefers I obey only him, so I don't call anyone but him "Sir."

I'll take that a step further. I won't use "Ma'am" for anybody else either. "Mistress" and "Master" should go without saying that I will not use. And online, unless somebody has "Ms" in their nick, I won't use it by adding it.

Only One person is entitled to special/unique treatment from me.

quote:

I believe, too, if you're unattached, you can treat anyone however you see fit. Your under no more obligation to an alleged dominant than you are to a potato.

Within the limits of courtesy, and of course if owned, what your Owner requests/requires of you.

sudja

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 15

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 12:32:32 PM

wolfspirits

Posts: 36
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

There Is Nothing Wrong With Using Common Courtesy And General Politness To All. By Doing This Is In No Way Betraying Your Loyalness To The One You Belong. Yes Everyone Knows You Obey Your Owner When Told To Servce Or Submit. ie, In A Crowd You Bump Into A Dom/Domme A Simple Pardon Me Sir, Or Ma'am Would Be Polite. ... Or Being Introduced To A Dom/Domme A Simple "Please To Meet You Sir, Ma'am Etc. Would Be Polite . These Are Just Titles . To Be Ordered Around And Serve Others With Out Your Owners Consent Is wrong. To Be Polite Is Not wrong, Remeber That How You Carry Yourself Is A Relection On Your Owner.

Lady Silver,Of WolfSpirits.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 16

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 1:40:18 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I see what all are saying and agree but i was in Gor online and was taught to call every free man Master and every free woman Mistress. of course i would never do that off line just though it's an interesting point.

littleone

(in reply to wolfspirits)

Post #: 17

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/2/2005 3:24:19 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sudja

I'll take that a step further. I won't use "Ma'am" for anybody else either. "Mistress" and "Master" should go without saying that I will not use. And online, unless somebody has "Ms" in their nick, I won't use it by adding it.

I was over simplifying. The techinical rulles is that I cannot defer to anyone, including using any title for any person. I stuck w/ "Sir" b/c owner is male and b/c I am most often "compelled" to call someone that.

quote:

Within the limits of courtesy, and of course if owned, what your Owner requests/requires of you.

Honestly, I don't think courtesy is required either. I mean, I think it makes you a better person, but I don't believe one is required to be polite or courteous. It simply speaks -volumes- about you if you aren't.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sudja)

Post #: 18

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/4/2005 10:40:33 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Nadda...to be respected you need to earn it...not all situations grant instant domdom to those who so desperately want it...email seems to be the easiest of the hrdles for some...

you were correct in following a polite but firm rejection to such...there are many "stupid dom tricks that are in practice...

Follow what is right for you...the ways of the Old Guard seem to be dead for the most part and have been trampled upon by the new ones...just remember We all started somewhere once..sometimes they just need to be set right....

Just panfry the big ones and throw back the little ones...

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 19

RE: Sub = Obedient sheep to all???? - 7/5/2005 6:15:51 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

(I just hit quick reply, this is directed towards several people)

I guess I am an odd on out here as far as terms go. I call almost everyone I meet "ma'am" or "sir", but not in the way that you may think. I use it as a term of general respect.

When at work: "Can I help you find something today sir?" "Ma'am, I believe you forgot your bag"
When running errends: "I'm sorry to bother you sir, but could you tell me where to find ______?" "Have a blessed day ma'am" (this is the same as "have a good day" out here)

and the list could go on and on. I use them when I speak to customers, people I meet on the street, clerks at the shops, the attendent at the laudromat and so on. I know this is a little different, but why can't we use them as terms of respect rather then terms of obeying?

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 20

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