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Ok..I've read all the responses to this opener. Actually i'm really sitting here wondering why so many posts evolved as elaborate as they did. Why?..because of this one tiny little phrase "Am I wrong"?

My thought to that is why are you coming onto a forum board asking complete strangers if your behavior is wrong or right when you have a Master.

My response: Ask your Master

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This just happens to be one of my pet peeves. I may be a dominant male but I am also a gentleman. I believe that you treat a woman with respect in any situation, especially if they are your submissive. Those that want to flex their Domly muscles and prove to everyone that they are dominant by treating potential sub's like shit will be alone for quite a while. Just from reading these forums, I have seen countless posts about Dom's writing an opening email demanding submission from someone that they don't even know. If you cannot bother to introduce yourself and nurture a friendship first before attempting a Dom/sub relationship then you miss the point about a relationship at all. I have said this once, I will say it again, have some dominants forgotten about romance? I guess I am from an old school of thought, but I thought the point of searching for a mate involved romance and love.

Gauge

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ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hello There,
There really was nothing before this gesture of his. I'd seen him at a social and we'd discussed getting to know each other better. I went to a dungeon with one of my male friends. We were talking about the rules of the dungeon we were in and he grabbed my chin and told me I could not talk unless he ask me to.

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ORIGINAL: wolfspirits

There Is Nothing Wrong With Using Common Courtesy And General Politness To All. By Doing This Is In No Way Betraying Your Loyalness To The One You Belong. Yes Everyone Knows You Obey Your Owner When Told To Servce Or Submit. ie, In A Crowd You Bump Into A Dom/Domme A Simple Pardon Me Sir, Or Ma'am Would Be Polite. ... Or Being Introduced To A Dom/Domme A Simple "Please To Meet You Sir, Ma'am Etc. Would Be Polite . These Are Just Titles . To Be Ordered Around And Serve Others With Out Your Owners Consent Is wrong. To Be Polite Is Not wrong, Remeber That How You Carry Yourself Is A Relection On Your Owner.
Lady Silver,Of WolfSpirits.

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

You describe yourself as a submissive, but then here you state "I don't understand why I must be in my role to people I don't respect" which raises the question, are you or are you not a submissive? I ask this because here too we are dealing with expectations. Being submissive is part of your nature, not a role... either you are or you aren't, but you don't flip it on an off like a light switch. Being submissive has nothing to do with whom you respect or don't respect, either you have a submissive nature or you don't. On the other hand a bottom does, precisely because what they do is a role they assume. Which do you think better describes you?

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

To me, it means nothing more than a general submissive nature shown in your behavior, your personality. It does not, to me at least, mean any dominant can order you to play with them or serve them in anything more than a very general way (such as asking you to get them a drink or would you check an see if they're about to start serving the food, etc.), nor does it give them any liberty to touch you in anything other than an normal way (ie, no grabbing your ass, etc.). If we were at an event and I asked you to do some simple task (and assuming you weren't already doing something), I would expect you to do it... period. If you refused that would make me aware of something about you, I would make a mental note of it, and act accordingly in the future (in short I wouldn't waste my time asking you to do anything else again). On the other hand I would not expect you to engage in play, sexual service, etc. just because I'm dominant and you're submissive, that goes beyond reason and into the realm of personal relationships. Since no such relationship exists its absolutely unrealistic to expect the kinds of service that normally are part of such relationships.

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ORIGINAL: plantlady64
This question was presented to the group after a Dom I'd just met at a social grabbed me by my chin and started barking orders at me the next time I saw him. I do agree that I should behave in a submissively respectful way as it is in my nature to behave that way most of the time.

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Random observation here, but one of the things I see happen with doms is confusing being hard with being rude or an asshole. A dom should be hard in the sense they should have a high degree of self discipline, and the ability to apply discipline without letting their emotions get in the way. But what I often see happen with many doms is that they thing to be hard they can have no emotions or only very limited emotions, which is not true. I have heard many say they cannot love their subs/slaves because that would prevent them from being a dom, nonsense. What that tells me is the dom has a problem with managing their own emotions, especially love. Loving a slave and still being firm and strict in discipline and expectations is not a contradiction, but I guess some just don't get that. Personally, I think a dominant should have a big heart, and just as they are strong in their discipline and other parts of their life, they ought to be strong in their emotions and passions.

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I'm hopeful you can help me with a question that's been very frustrating for me so far.
Why do large percentages of Dom's feel a sub must be subserviant to them if I'm not their sub? Is there some unwritten law that says if you choose to be a sub, you are to expect to be controlled by anyone who claims to be a Dom?

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Firstly, define your idea of "ownership" -- if we use mine, it does not necessary equate to a physical taking of a body. I am owned, though I have not set eyes on the man who owns me for nearly a year now. We were together for two years and I was released due to something I prefer not to go into to. He and I still talk almost every day and, with luck, in the near future I will get to see him again. The fact that I no longer wear his collar does not change the fact that he owns me. Why? Because I trust him with my life, want to please him above and beyond reasoning and will obey unconditionally. That, to me, is being owned.

Syn

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Being my Master is 6'3 and this guy is 5'8 he didn't argue.

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ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hello Sir's,
I'm hopeful you can help me with a question that's been very frustrating for me so far.
Why do large percentages of Dom's feel a sub must be subserviant to them if I'm not their sub? Is there some unwritten law that says if you choose to be a sub, you are to expect to be controlled by anyone who claims to be a Dom? In social parties, or even the Dungeon I go to I don't feel it should be necessary to be submissive to all Dom's. I don't understand why I must be in my role to people I don't respect, like or ever intend to submit to or play with. I don't show respect unless I feel their actions warrant that respect. Mind you I'm not mouthy or rude, I'm just not following their directions of me.
Am I wrong?
Sincerely questioning my Position as it pertains to the world at large, and not my friends,
sub suzanne

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ORIGINAL: PeJay
Of course not but as a matter of etiquette, most Dom/mes WILL expect to be addressed as Sir or Madam or4 in some cases Master or Mistress

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But this is usually in the form of, Master Pejay, as that is my name.

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But the only person who demands and should expect to get your unquestioning obedience and trust is YOU'RE Master or Mistress!

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ORIGINAL: PeJay
Of course not but as a matter of etiquette, most Dom/mes WILL expect to be addressed as Sir or Madam or4 in some cases Master or Mistress

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ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
There is an old martial arts saying that gets repeated a lot "When someone tells you he is a "master" you can bet he isn't."