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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:43:16 PM

mnottertail

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I WAS GONNA SAY CUNT, BUT i HAVE SPILT SOME BEER IN THE KEYBOARD.

RPM

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:44:09 PM

MysticFireTopaz

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From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
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I got one here recently from a submissive male bragging that he was so good at performing oral, he could cause a woman to go into convulsions.

Lady Topaz

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:44:24 PM

kittinSol

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Whoever those fucks are, they'll eat vomit for supper, I promise you cuddly.

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:45:11 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
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From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

I got one here recently from a submissive male bragging that he was so good at performing oral, he could cause a woman to go into convulsions.

Lady Topaz

What is his address?

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:45:47 PM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

I got one here recently from a submissive male bragging that he was so good at performing oral, he could cause a woman to go into convulsions.

Lady Topaz

Oh well, how could you resist! If somebody promised me I'd get an epileptic fit because of their tentacular tongue doing the twist on my clit, I'd be out there in a shot

.

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:46:26 PM

cuddleheart50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Whoever those fucks are, they'll eat vomit for supper, I promise you cuddly.

Aww, thats the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

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Post #: 46

RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:53:00 PM

MissMagnolia

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Actual one line introductory emails from subs on CM
"Hi Mistress" yes, that got me steaming and panting to have him.
"Can you brake me?" probably, if I could be bothered driving over him.
"I will worship your feet at no charge to you" lucky old me, a freebie.
"I'm horny, can you fuck me?" um, no.
"What's the biggest thing you've ever had up your ass?" a thermometer.
"my phone numbers are............ ring me right now". um, no.
"I wanna be your slave" god really? what is CM coming to?
"How big are you tits?" it depends on the weather.

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 4:57:47 PM

ELUSIVE1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

This is by far the funniest message I have ever gotten...

'I can only assume that you read my profile and were interested in my penile implant I have a surgically implanted, inflatable penile implant that does NOT go soft until I let it down. It is the joy of my life, and, hopefully, the joy of your life, too. I am sure that you have read and heard about them, so, if you would like to try one out, email me.'

In the words of Austin Powers'Should we shag now? or shall we shag later??
what is the worst pick-up line you ever heard??

You actually got an email in accord with the above?

(And if your answer is "Yes"...I would like to now personally dissavow all previous connections to the male sect).

(Of course, that would exclude any rights I currently hold as to masturbation...'cause...that's really fucking fun).

Griswold- I came home lastnight after a few drinks and opened that email...I laughed so hard thought I might wet myself--I could block and delete--but hey there I days that I really need comic relief...oh and hope you keep on stroking---no one should ever give up self-gratification

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:09:22 PM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirUMC

"Do you come here often?"

...Yes, I actually said that. To a girl. We were standing at our mailboxes in the Post Office.

I couldn't help it. :)

Hey, you're not the guy who asked me for 10 pence in Brixton because he had to make a phone call to God from a phonebooth to tell him one of his angels (ie. me) was missing, are you???

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:40:49 PM

SuspendedInGaffa

Posts: 188
Joined: 8/17/2007
From: Wales, UK
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God damn the little shit who called you that, cuddleheart50. I love being male, but sometimes I'm ashamed of my gender. (*sends cyberhug*)

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:49:13 PM

cuddleheart50

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Thank you, thats sweet...accepts hugs.

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:50:48 PM

winterlight

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back cock? what is that a pickle or cucumber?

hmmmmmmmmmm

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:51:10 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Whoever those fucks are, they'll eat vomit for supper, I promise you cuddly.

Aww, thats the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

That's the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me too!!!

(And they didn't even SAY it to me!!!)

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:52:46 PM

cuddleheart50

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LOL!!!

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:53:17 PM

winterlight

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cuddle u are GORGEOUS! what a jerk to say that to you!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 5:54:35 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
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I just consider the source, its no biggie....different strokes for different folks. We cant please everyone.

and thank you.

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/18/2007 6:47:48 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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a couple of the better one's i've gotten here

"You look like a good boy,
And I'm feeling like a bad influence."

-if i were single, i would have thought to follow that up with more than a thank you

"Might I compliment your family on their wonderful taste?"

-this one went on to be one of the few people i chat with from this site

"Hi Its nice to hear from you.Thank you soo much for your interest.What time are you gonna be off from work?And what am looking for on collarme is a relationship.I wanna meet someone who know who to take care of a lady,someone who is care,loving and a good thinker.send me your IM address to add you to my IM .My IM is"

-this came from a young female submissive, i've never reached out to anyone on here for a relationship and this girl for anything... i thought it was ingenious, a really good way to take me off my guard; if only she weren't fishing in the wrong lake

" i am oddly fond of you and your profile.."

-i wasn't sure how to take this at all,,, this was also the entire message from someone who had ""NO ONE LINERS... YOU WILL NOT GET A REPLY... DO NOT WASTE MY TIME"" in their profile... i like the person who sent it and we discussed it, but it was definitely funny at the time

" Just a quick note to tell you cool pic of you and your kitty, smiles"

-now, i know that this is talking about an actual cat; but i never thought i'd ever had anyone say this to me

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/19/2007 4:02:45 AM

ELUSIVE1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

"You look like a good boy,
And I'm feeling like a bad influence."

I love that line--so stealling that and using it...

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/19/2007 6:07:12 AM

Bleys

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True story, and there are witnesses:

Back when I was younger and stupider, and quite a bit drunker, I met this girl in a bar. I was THINKING "Hi, can I join you for a drink?" Lame already, I know. What CAME OUT was "Hi, wanna fuck?" She slapped me hard as she could (which, in my state, I barely felt), to which I came back with "So a blowjob is completely out of the question?" Long story short, no it wasn't.

I never did it again. That kind of lightning never strikes twice.

B

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RE: Worst pick-up line ever - 8/19/2007 6:19:47 AM

e01n

Posts: 1472
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This one is iconic, and yet surprisingly effective:
"Hey bitch, let's fuck."

Has had a greater than 50% success rate... in some cases, 100% effective. Use by females in common context, on the other hand, has been demonstrated to be less effective - 12% in sports bars, 2% in "fern bars," 63% in cigar bars...

If you want, I believe I have the field data spreadsheet and "fuckee" interview transcripts somewhere about.

Yeah, I'm such a scientist sometimes... ;)

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