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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 11:28:11 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
Working on the basis that Negative Consequence is equivalent to Aversive Stimulus, if you are consciously involved in the application of said stimulus, how is that not a punishment if in response to "Negative" behavior?


being part of situation doesn't equate to me inflicting punishement.   The girls enter my dynamic understanding that I expect them to deal and accept the responsibility for their choices.  When they take action that results in negative consequences.. be it me disappointed... it is their responsiblity to make choices that will change their behavior to achieved positive consequences that we all desire.  I will engage in Correction with them.  We will clarify why I was disappointed or upset.  We will discuss what needs to occur so that positive consequences can be enjoyed instead of negative ones.  This is not punishement it's correction.  Educating, coaching teaching... but punishment is nothing more than punitive.  Unfortunately, society has for sometime has attempted to use punishment as a tool of correction.  Unfortuantely, it really doesn't work that way.  People in general don't change behavior very will because of punishment.  If it worked well.. there would be alot less repeat offenders than their are.  Society has tied punishment and correction as one.  but.. I will avoid that dead end road.  I perfer.. the idea.. "we sleep in the bed we make"

quote:


Also, I want to reiterate that it is the CONCEPT of punishment that I consider essential.  Whether a dominant does or does not punish--or reward--is a choice that is entirely within his purview.  To my mind, it goes hand in hand with the paradox of trust: we only trust those who can hurt us. 


and see this is what you have twisted...

it more the idea... "Those who we Trust.. are the ones that can hurt us"  In otherwords... When we open ourself to another we expose ourself to their choices that can cause us pain.  This doesn't equate to a person needing/using  punishment to have the dynamic going.

In fact... becuase we trust this person.. we seek deeply not to hurt, harm or disappoint them.  We are internally motivated to make choices that are postive for the relationship and not negative.  As many have said before... a relationship is alll about trust... and it must be earned.  Once it's earned... that internal motivation is an extremely powerful force.  In all honesty, many have never felt it or even kept it alive for long.  Else you wouldn't see so many serial monogamist and broken relationships.  There are so few relationships that last beyond 10 years or even 5 years and ones that reach 20 is even more rare.

the ability to trust and  be vulnerable to this person because of this trust has absolutely nothing to do we punishment being a fundamental concept within the relationship.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 11:30:14 AM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Within my M/s dynamic, Punishment is not a part of the dynamic.  I do not apply penalty or retribution.  I do however, apply a responsiblity for ones choices.  That these choices will be either Positive or Negative consequences.  Within my dynamics, I expect each person to make choices that is for the enhancement of the whole, positive consequences for the relationship.  However, choices do occur that result in negative consequences.  Instead of apply penalty or retribution,  Instead I seek to facilate learning and growth from what occurred to allow a change of choice/behavior in the future.  It is our mutual commitment to what I call a Power Enhancement Relationship that focuses us on our personal responsibilities to make choices that promote positive consequences for our relationship and avoid the negative consequences.



This seems somewhat semantical to me in a sense, since the concepts of Punishment and Reward can be defined as Negative and Positive consequences.

For example, the penalty and retribution of receiving a speeding ticket.

One could view it in the light of "You have broken the law and now this is your pentalty. Pay up!"

Or...

One can view it in the light of "You have made a personal choice to break the law, endangering the lives of others with your reckless driving. This is your Negative Consequence for the action. Now please refrain from speeding so this Negative Consequence doesnt occur and you can enjoy the Positive Consequence of not having to pay tickets."


yes it is.. but viewing a intimate relationship dynamic and pulling it out to a social dynamic is comparing fruits and vegetables.

The emotional connection within an intimate relationship is far stronger of a bond than people in general has with society.

Hence the phrase "Blood is thicker than Water"

Due to the weaker bond that often exists between the individual and society.. society has resorted to Punishment as a means to instill appropriate behavior on society at large.

However, since the bond between intimate partners are much stronger.  Punishment is not often needed.  The actual motiviation of a person contributed to the other's happiness and well-being will often offset the need/want of punishment in the dynamic.

It is my premise.. the stronger the bond within the relationship.. the less Need for punishment since the internal motivations will actually propel individuals towards positive choices over the negative choices.  This is not to say that some relationship dyanmics will not Want to have punishment within their relationship.  But their is a stark difference between Need and Want.


Aye, that is very true.

The point more of my thread is that the four of us seem to basically be talking about the same thing, but using different words and personal definitions to desribe it. As you have said, its become a debate of semantics.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:01:21 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

In the interests of clarifying my position vis-a-vis punishment, let me state that I am using the term as it generally applies to theories of Operant Conditioning:

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning
quote:


* Reinforcement is a consequence that causes a behavior to occur with greater frequency.
* Punishment is a consequence that causes a behavior to occur with less frequency.
* Extinction is the lack of any consequence following a response. When a response is inconsequential, producing neither favorable nor unfavorable consequences, it will occur with less frequency.


In my view of M/s dynamics and TPE, the dominant is one who makes choices and decisions about which behaviors to encourage and which behaviors to discourage.  The foundations for that pattern of choices and decisions will naturally vary according to the particular mindset, background, and goals of the people involved in the relationship, but the constant I have observed in all such relationships is that the dominant resides at the locus of decision-making.



aaaaaw so this is the definitions you are using.. which is far from the norm of what is Punishment.

Secondly.. you are applying the theory only in part.  In fact.. you are twisting what the general definition of punishment is with Skinner's theories.

I agree that the generally the Dominant/Master resides at the locus of the decision-making. But, that doesn't mean that the Submissive/slaves don't make their own decisions as well. 

Skinner's concept is that WE all are subjected to Operant Conditioning.

I make a choice that results in a behavior that I don't want... I will make that choice less frenquently... in other words.. I have endured a punishment situation when we consider the Operant Conditioning.

This theory is not about the person appyling punishment or reinforcement.  It's about grouping our choices and the consequnces that result from them.  In grouping them we learn which choices are better for us as an individual and which is not. We as people come to understand and be conditioned by the consequences of our choices.

As the Dominant/Master of the family.  I take responsibility to ensure that the everyone in the family is clear on the consequnces of the choices being made.  Because, Unfortunately, other concepts come into play... Like Perception!  Without  clear understanding between those involved... the  perceptions of the various consequences could likely vary.  Even if we all percieve it as negative.  The actual intensity of consequence may not be clear to all.

so.. .back to your orginal statement that prompt me to respond.

quote:


The concept of punishment is necessary in a TPE dynamic, however.  Punishment is the negative consequence that is laid down for non-compliance with whatever rules are established by the dominant.  Punishment is part of what makes that dynamic work by setting up the basic exchange of power


using the Skinner's concepts....

I would say.. this is not a question of being necessary.... it is a quesiton of it occuring in any relationship.

In any relationship their will be Reinforcements, Punishments and Extinctions. 

quote:




* Reinforcement is a consequence that causes a behavior to occur with greater frequency.
* Punishment is a consequence that causes a behavior to occur with less frequency.
* Extinction is the lack of any consequence following a response. When a response is inconsequential, producing neither favorable nor unfavorable consequences, it will occur with less frequency.


It's not question of them being neccessary.  It's question of how particular consequences to anyone's behaviors can be grouped.  It's about how the consequnces of our behavior causes us to be conditioned to behavior a certain way in the future.

I don't use the terms that Skinner first gave.  Since in this lifestyle.. the definition of Punishment is not even close to the way most undersand the word.  I prefer to speak with labels and words that maximizes clear understanding instead of making it worse.  Of course, that is a hit and miss situation in of itself.

I use Negative Neutral and Postive Consequences.  I avoid using Reinforcements/Punishments and Extinctions since most don't even know what the theory is let alone what the defintions to these words are in that theory.  And forget about being able to apply the theory in our daily life within a Power Transfer Dynamic.. it's not very useful if one doesn't understand the theory in the first place.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 8/26/2007 12:06:37 PM >


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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:03:38 PM   
Donnalee


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Its interesting to read the posts on this topic, and it brings to my mind the question of what it looks like when theory connects to real life.  I think that maturity in the partners, maturity in the relationship, and maturity in the dynamic is the decisive factor in how discipline, punishment, and love get expressed.

Whatever your beliefs are, if you lack control of your behavior in the face of strong emotions, its unlikely you're going to achieve your desired outcome in the relationship....on either side of the paddle.  When I hear people speak from a base of respect and partnership with their sub or Dom, I hear a very different tone than the "I'm powerful: you're not" stance.  It's more attractive to me.  But different people are motivated by different things...knowing what those are and effectively communicating them is the key to both being more satisfied.

When I feel my partner is committed to my long term wellbeing and what that adds to the relationship, I'm incredibly motivated to please him in the way he requires.  The energy that feeling creates in me is stronger than what punishment  gives, and I like it better.  That being said, I also need to know  when that fails, he'll come up with a plan to put me on the right track...back to where I want to be....back to where respect for partnership is valued more highly.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:09:30 PM   
celticlord2112


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With all due respect, I think you're missing my point.

It is the POTENTIAL for punishment that sets up a power exchange.  That potential is what makes the choice for reinforcement meaningful within the relationship.  Without the potential for punishment, reinforcement is not a choice but an inevitable outcome.  If there is no choice, no decision to be made, there is no expression of power--and essentially no power at all.

Choice requires at least two possibilities:  there is no choice to act if there is not also the choice to "not act".  That one chooses possibility A over possibility B does not negate possibilty B.  It merely renders that possibility the road not taken.

Moreover, it is the trust that forms within a relationship that sets up the potential, that gives rise to the choice.  We cannot lower our defenses without trust; we cannot become vulnerable without trust.  Therefore, we cannot become susceptible to aversive stimulus as a relationship characteristic without trust; we cannot be punished without trust.

One can plausibly ask why it is that the potential for punishment (negative stimulus) rather than re-inforcement is what establishes a dynamic of power exchange.  The answer is that relationships are fundamentally about reinforcement (positive stimulus)--we get close to people because it "feels good".  If one accepts this is axiomatic for all relationships (which I do, obviously), then it is insufficient on its own merits to establish a dynamic of power exchange (the characteristic that defines the superset cannot concurrently define the subset).  Thus, a potential for negative stimulus (punishment, as I am using the term) is necessary to establish TPE as a relationship subset.

Or, as my uncle (who is a Presbyterian minister) said in one of his more memorable sermons:  Saying "Yes" is meaningless until we can also say "No".


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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:15:38 PM   
Padriag


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


This has become a debate about semantics.

Not entirely, what we have are two sets of definitions behind which follows two very different bodies of thought.

quote:

Punishement in of it self is rather clearly defined... However.. adding the qualifiers modifies the definitions.

I disagree... there seems to be a great deal of confusion about it.  However, I would hope we can clarify that.  To wit..,

We have essentially two definitions/meanings for the same word.  One definition comes directly from almost any dictionary and essentially does talk about punishment being a retributive and/or punitive penalty applied for some form of unacceptable behavior.  This is the definition that most think of, its the one that has developed from literally centuries of social history and has its roots in those same ancient origins of which I previously spoke.  From it developed a many practices, such as weregild, penance, fines, and other forms all aimed at balancing one injury with another... essentially an eye for an eye in a thousand myriad forms.

There is however a second definition which you seem to ignore, one I know you've seen me discuss before, one that comes from behavior psychology.  This definition was created to define a functional aspect of human behavior which was necessary in understanding how we, our nervous system, our minds work.  In behavioral psychology an aversive stimulus is a "punisher".  The application of an aversive stimulus is "punishment".   There is no intent or social context included in that... only the behavior in its most basic raw form.  Thus qualifiers such as punitive and corrective must be added to address the issue of intent.

You prefer the former definition, as do many for whom it is the only definition they know.  That's fine if that's what you prefer, however it is not fair to state that it is the only definition because it certainly is not.

quote:

 
Punishment has often an intense negative emotions tied to it. 

In your view, which assumes the use only of the above dictionary definition.  However, punishment used in the context of that second behavioral definition is merely the application of an aversive stimulus to effect change, and does not imply or require the presence or absence of emotion.  It states the functional process, no more no less. 

quote:

However, when one wish to instill correction... negative emotions are not very useful to teach or guide some on how to do something right.

This I agree with and have said as much at length.

quote:

 They are often dealing with enough emotions becuase they did something wrong.  One need not add to the emotional baggage by tying correction as an act of punishment.

Not always true.  First, I've already discussed our differences on the usage of punishment and correction.  However, you are wrong in another sense.  For some, punishment is a form of catharsis that gives release for those very emotions they are struggling with, which are themselves a consequence of what they did wrong.

Its another curious facet of human social behavior that it is not always the "punisher" who seeks to restore a sense of balance through inflicting an injury as "payment" for another in kind.  At times it is the one who did the original injury, the one to be punished, who seeks this as means to restore their own inner sense of balance, of a sense of indebtedness they feel, as a means of escaping the guilt that results from that "indebtedness."

quote:

Correction and Punishment are two very different words in my life.

I understand that, but I would hope you would understand that while that is true of you, it is not true of everyone else.


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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:25:01 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Donnalee

When I feel my partner is committed to my long term wellbeing and what that adds to the relationship, I'm incredibly motivated to please him in the way he requires.  The energy that feeling creates in me is stronger than what punishment  gives, and I like it better.  That being said, I also need to know  when that fails, he'll come up with a plan to put me on the right track...back to where I want to be....back to where respect for partnership is valued more highly.


from a scientific point of view.... peoples behaviors are much more likely to be reinforced and occur again when the consequences are postive as compared to when they are negative.  As you have shared and which I already stated earlier.  Using and understanding motivation is much more effective to achieve the behavior that one wants than the focus the behavior itself. One also must be very aware of the perception that is occuring with each person in the relationship.

I would also add.. that another aspect that should be consider is the Replacement approach.  The big failing of Skinner's approach is a lack of understanding the underlying motivations for the given behavior.  When behavior is negative (punishment) it's effectiveness increases greatly if one is able to know what do to that will give the desired results.  In many cases we as term is "Hit are head against the brick wall".  We don't know what to do... so we keep doing it.  Hoping that someone we get what we want.  One of the reasons I am very big on Correction in cases of negative behavior, is to teach what is the proper behavior that will get the positive consequences and fulfill the motivation of the person.  In essesnse.. it's Replacement. 

Skinner's theory taught us that we will learn that a behavior that results in negative consequences will cause us to change our behavior.  But, that has shown itself to be much less likely than many realize.   When you start to add Percpetion and Motivations of the various individuals involved.. it can become very complex.  It can become very difficult to even understand what specific behavior resulted in the negative consequence.  When we are dealing with relationships, we might not understand that in this situation.. that specific behavior was not acceptable... but yet.. the last time we did it... there was no negative consequences.   Communicating so that a Shared Perception is gain to me is a key in establishing correction of behavior.  It is also key in reinforcing desired behavior.  How many times has a person stop doing X because Y didn't show any positives of the behavior.  So it becomes extinct and when the behavior stops.. you hear from Y.. why did you stop doing X I liked it!  Another example of why Skinner's theory was and is lacking... you can't forget about the inconsiderate male factor  *w*



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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:39:13 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Skinner's theory taught us that we will learn that a behavior that results in negative consequences will cause us to change our behavior. But, that has shown itself to be much less likely than many realize. When you start to add Percpetion and Motivations of the various individuals involved.. it can become very complex. It can become very difficult to even understand what specific behavior resulted in the negative consequence. When we are dealing with relationships, we might not understand that in this situation.. that specific behavior was not acceptable... but yet.. the last time we did it... there was no negative consequences. Communicating so that a Shared Perception is gain to me is a key in establishing correction of behavior. It is also key in reinforcing desired behavior. How many times has a person stop doing X because Y didn't show any positives of the behavior. So it becomes extinct and when the behavior stops.. you hear from Y.. why did you stop doing X I liked it! Another example of why Skinner's theory was and is lacking... you can't forget about the inconsiderate male factor *w*


I get the sense that you are using the term "negative consequence" as a universal norm.

Perception does indeed complicate matters, but it does so because two people are likely to disagree on what is a "negative consequence" and what is a "positive consequence".  Perceptual differences do not negate the basic concept that negative consequences are discentives to behaviors, while positive consequences are incentives for same.

The key is to learn what the slave perceives as "negative" and "positive" consequences.

And, when all else fails, there's always chocolate--the universal positive consequence!



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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 12:53:38 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Skinner's concept is that WE all are subjected to Operant Conditioning.

I make a choice that results in a behavior that I don't want... I will make that choice less frenquently... in other words.. I have endured a punishment situation when we consider the Operant Conditioning.

This theory is not about the person appyling punishment or reinforcement.  It's about grouping our choices and the consequnces that result from them.  In grouping them we learn which choices are better for us as an individual and which is not. We as people come to understand and be conditioned by the consequences of our choices.

As the Dominant/Master of the family.  I take responsibility to ensure that the everyone in the family is clear on the consequnces of the choices being made.  Because, Unfortunately, other concepts come into play... Like Perception!  Without  clear understanding between those involved... the  perceptions of the various consequences could likely vary.  Even if we all percieve it as negative.  The actual intensity of consequence may not be clear to all.

so.. .back to your orginal statement that prompt me to respond.

quote:


The concept of punishment is necessary in a TPE dynamic, however.  Punishment is the negative consequence that is laid down for non-compliance with whatever rules are established by the dominant.  Punishment is part of what makes that dynamic work by setting up the basic exchange of power


using the Skinner's concepts....

I would say.. this is not a question of being necessary.... it is a quesiton of it occuring in any relationship.

In any relationship their will be Reinforcements, Punishments and Extinctions. 


Well, in all honesty, I dont think this is entirely fair to Skinner's work.

Yes, he said that we are all basically reinforcing each other. Essentially, that we are "bouncing off each other" and directing our own future interactions.

But just because he stated that we are all reinforcing and controlling each other, this didnt stop him from dividing a line between the controllers and the ones being controlled several times in his writings.

The controllers being the one's who conciously used reinforcements to get a desired behavior and the one's being controlled who unconciously controlled the controllers threw their own reactions.

For example, Controller uses Punishment A and The Controllee responds in an undesirable way. The response of The Controllee reinforces The Controllers decision to use Punishment B or Punishment C in the future as opposed to Punishment A.

So...CelticLord is still right, in my opinion.

As much as I hate to use your own argument agaisnt you, you demonstrated this here with this quote.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

As the Dominant/Master of the family.  I take responsibility to ensure that the everyone in the family is clear on the consequnces of the choices being made.  Because, Unfortunately, other concepts come into play... Like Perception!  Without  clear understanding between those involved... the  perceptions of the various consequences could likely vary.  Even if we all percieve it as negative.  The actual intensity of consequence may not be clear to all.



The difference here is that you are using the word "consequences" instead of "punishments". You as the controller get to set the consequences and your girls reinforce what consequences you choose based on their reactions.

You are both reinforcing each other, but it doesnt dissolve the line in the sand between controller and controlle

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 1:03:21 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

With all due respect, I think you're missing my point.

It is the POTENTIAL for punishment that sets up a power exchange.  That potential is what makes the choice for reinforcement meaningful within the relationship.  Without the potential for punishment, reinforcement is not a choice but an inevitable outcome.  If there is no choice, no decision to be made, there is no expression of power--and essentially no power at all.


but that was not what you actual said now was it.  You basically stated that "Punishment" is neccesary to TPE relatioships. 

Secondly.. what setsup the power exchange is not the existence of Reinforcements and Punishments.  But the desire of one to care about those consequences.  Many a person goes to jail.. because they don't care about the punishment or feel the risk of the gain to be worth it. 

Therefore.. it is not the potential at all... or even their occurance.  the question is.. does the person care.  One sees it rather clearly when a relationship is on it's last legs.  The significance to the consequences becomes less important.  So.. Unless one cares.. we will be influnced by the consequences.. be they potential or not.  As I said.. "you can't rape the willing" but you sure can pretend... and alot of people pretend long before a relationship dies.


quote:


Choice requires at least two possibilities:  there is no choice to act if there is not also the choice to "not act".  That one chooses possibility A over possibility B does not negate possibilty B.  It merely renders that possibility the road not taken.


agreed.


quote:


Moreover, it is the trust that forms within a relationship that sets up the potential, that gives rise to the choice.  We cannot lower our defenses without trust; we cannot become vulnerable without trust.  Therefore, we cannot become susceptible to aversive stimulus as a relationship characteristic without trust; we cannot be punished without trust.


we always have a choice.. a choice to trust and a choice to not trust.  and yes.. many people lower their defenses and become vulnerable.  It really is not a question of trust for them.. it might be more a question of self-worth.  When one sees no value in self.. what is their to lose when the defenses go down.  Individuals with esteem issues have time and time again made choices to become vulnerable without any trust.  The over riding issue being their self-soathing.

But.. I do agee.. and have said before.. it's not potential of punishment or reinforcement that setsup the power exchange.  It's the choice.  But.. that choice.. need not be from a position of Trust.  Yes... the most healthy likely have developed trust.  But just the same, a choice to give power is not necessary for an exchange to occur... it just might not be the healthy thing for all involved.  More than a few Dominants have become involved in a Power Exchange and find that it's not based on Trust that all.  That the choice was made out of weakness and low-esteem.  Understanding how to establish a healthy power exchange will save people alot of grief. 

just because it's a power exchange .. doesn't equate to it always being healthy.

quote:


One can plausibly ask why it is that the potential for punishment (negative stimulus) rather than re-inforcement is what establishes a dynamic of power exchange.  The answer is that relationships are fundamentally about reinforcement (positive stimulus)--we get close to people because it "feels good".  If one accepts this is axiomatic for all relationships (which I do, obviously), then it is insufficient on its own merits to establish a dynamic of power exchange (the characteristic that defines the superset cannot concurrently define the subset).  Thus, a potential for negative stimulus (punishment, as I am using the term) is necessary to establish TPE as a relationship subset.

Or, as my uncle (who is a Presbyterian minister) said in one of his more memorable sermons:  Saying "Yes" is meaningless until we can also say "No".



*chuckles*  this is saying a choice only has one answer.  It's not a question of of just negative consequences that sets it up the exchange... again.. it also the willing and commitment to want to have positive consequences.   So it as I said.. what motivates the person to want to have positive consequences with X and fear negative consequences with X.  It is this motivation that sets up the power dynamic.  It is this motivation that establishes that the person will CARE about the negative consequences and Care about having Postive Consequences.  the issue is that there is no clear cut answer to what will motivate or inspire the Dominance or submission of one person over another.  But unless that motivation exists.. unless it's established.. unlesss it is earned... the consequences are rather irrelevant..

It really doesn't matter if one says Yes or No.. if one doesn't care in the first place.



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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 1:36:56 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
*chuckles* this is saying a choice only has one answer.


*chuckles* Quite the opposite.  It's saying there is no choice until there is more than one answer.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 1:40:07 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

The difference here is that you are using the word "consequences" instead of "punishments". You as the controller get to set the consequences and your girls reinforce what consequences you choose based on their reactions.

You are both reinforcing each other, but it doesnt dissolve the line in the sand between controller and controlle


Actually it's negative consequences instead of punishments.  Being the controller doesn't equate to me being the Dominant.  The controller can be the submissive in a given situation as well.  Granted, Dominants do establish alot of consequences within their intimate relationships.  However, but that doesn't preclude a submissive from not being the controller as well.  They can make choices in behavior and my reaction will also reinforce their choices as well.

That's right.. we are both reinforcing each other's behaviors negatively or postively.  This is a fact of human reactions.  Being Dominant in the relationship or Submissive doesn't negate that we will only being doing it one way or the other.  Unless the Dominant makes every single choices of behavior of the submissive.. which is impossible.


As far as Skinner's theories.  They have alot of value.. but there as been alot more intellectual thought that goes well beyond what Skinner had to offer.  Not unlike Freud.. he had alot... but those that came after him... brought alot more on the subject.  It would be nice if things was as simple as Skinner would of liked.  But it is not.

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 1:52:06 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
*chuckles* this is saying a choice only has one answer.


*chuckles* Quite the opposite.  It's saying there is no choice until there is more than one answer.


you in essense say that Punishment is necessary.. which is saying there is no choice and only one answer

I am saying that Positive(reinforcements) and Negative(punishements) are a fact in any relationship.  It is not a question of one being neccessary.  One doesn't have to even try to make sure it is there.. they will both be their regardless if one is conscious of it or not.


But.. before there is even an opportunity for this concept to even come to play... the individuals most be motivated to have the relationship in the first place.   It is this motivation that established the power dynamic and not the fact that individuals within a relationship are subjected to Positive and Negative consequences.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:01:16 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
you in essense say that Punishment is necessary.. which is saying there is no choice and only one answer


I am saying that without punishment there is no choice.


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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:12:25 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Perception does indeed complicate matters, but it does so because two people are likely to disagree on what is a "negative consequence" and what is a "positive consequence".  Perceptual differences do not negate the basic concept that negative consequences are discentives to behaviors, while positive consequences are incentives for same.



No perceptional differences don't negate the basic conscept... it only reinforces that applying the concept is much more complicated than some would like.  You can talk theories all you like.  Label this and that.. but unless you can apply things and achieved desired results it just alot of theory. 

I know the theory.. and there are more than a few others that have expanded upon Skinner's orginal works. I also am in a working M/s relationship or two that is more concerned with Application and getting results than  theorizing about it.  One of the great things about being in a relationship and appyling concepts is you find out what is missing pretty quick.  Very following Skinner's idea that negative Consequencees will be a discentive and postive ones will reinforce.  However, one also learns that different individuals result in different issues.  Perception is a critical issue with regards to having an effective relationship.  As a Master to two girls.. A single behavior from me could actually result in opposing consequences.  As a Master of girl for more years than I can remember, I appreciate that a given behavior has resulted in a change of consequences.

As a Dominant... we are often in the controlling position.  In that we can cause consequences that will promote or remove behaviors we don't like.  But it can't go both ways.  Submissives can themselves cause the promotion and removal of behaviors.  People like Skinner's ideals because it fits so well into the D/s dynamic.  Dominant= controller... submissive=controlle... oh if was just that simple.

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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:12:34 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

As far as Skinner's theories.  They have alot of value.. but there as been alot more intellectual thought that goes well beyond what Skinner had to offer.  Not unlike Freud.. he had alot... but those that came after him... brought alot more on the subject.  It would be nice if things was as simple as Skinner would of liked.  But it is not.


I'm not disagreeing with that. I dont agree with all of it and I can find a lot of holes in it on my own. He makes a point in the introduction of his book to mention there is many fascinating tangents that cant be explained.

I would say at best its a theory based on generalizations.

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(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:17:14 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
No perceptional differences don't negate the basic conscept... it only reinforces that applying the concept is much more complicated than some would like. You can talk theories all you like. Label this and that.. but unless you can apply things and achieved desired results it just alot of theory.


Very true...and "talking theory" is what we've been doing throughout this discussion.


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RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:27:00 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
People like Skinner's ideals because it fits so well into the D/s dynamic.


I find Skinner's work helpful to set a conceptual framework for cultivating those who would follow My leadership.  As behaviorial models go, I have found it to have excellent predictive and analytical value.


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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:34:02 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Not entirely, what we have are two sets of definitions behind which follows two very different bodies of thought.


agreed

quote:



You prefer the former definition, as do many for whom it is the only definition they know.  That's fine if that's what you prefer, however it is not fair to state that it is the only definition because it certainly is not.


I prefer?  that would be an assumption.  Actually.. I have not specific preference.  but I will tend to use the definition of the words that are commonly understood in the discussion.  If I happen to be listening on a Psychology chat board and a discussion of punishment with regards to Skinner's theory occurred.. my used of the word would be much different.  If I am going to use a defintiion that is not commonly understood.. or for that matter not even easily referrable like a dictionary..... then I will relate what and where my defintion comes from. 

yes.. I believe that the defintiion of punishment is rather generally understood.  Just as Skinner's definition is generally understood.. in the right context and environment.


quote:

 
Punishment has often an intense negative emotions tied to it. 

In your view, which assumes the use only of the above dictionary definition.  However, punishment used in the context of that second behavioral definition is merely the application of an aversive stimulus to effect change, and does not imply or require the presence or absence of emotion.  It states the functional process, no more no less. 


yes... and no..  Yes it is just labeling the consequences that cause a reduction in a given behavior.  However, people will often have emotions tied to those consequences.. be they negative or postive.  Just because it is a label to a given functional process doesn't equate that emotions will not be generated from the process itself.


quote:

 They are often dealing with enough emotions becuase they did something wrong.  One need not add to the emotional baggage by tying correction as an act of punishment.

Not always true.  First, I've already discussed our differences on the usage of punishment and correction.  However, you are wrong in another sense.  For some, punishment is a form of catharsis that gives release for those very emotions they are struggling with, which are themselves a consequence of what they did wrong.



hense why I said Often and not always.  which makes it not always true.

yes I agree that punishment is and can be a form of catharsis.  it is not about penalty or retribution.  but Reconcilation

which I have said before

quote:


Also, I find that many focus soley on the Accepting of Responsibility for the mistake or wrong doing.  There is also a whole other part called Reconcilation/Forgiveness.

Sometimes... punishement provides a catharsis experience for those in the relationship.  Others find other means to reach that


quote:


Its another curious facet of human social behavior that it is not always the "punisher" who seeks to restore a sense of balance through inflicting an injury as "payment" for another in kind.  At times it is the one who did the original injury, the one to be punished, who seeks this as means to restore their own inner sense of balance, of a sense of indebtedness they feel, as a means of escaping the guilt that results from that "indebtedness."


I agree...



quote:

Correction and Punishment are two very different words in my life.

I understand that, but I would hope you would understand that while that is true of you, it is not true of everyone else.


I never said it wasn't... and with discussion.. I learn how a person defines words.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Discipline, Punishment, and a Crazy lil thing calle... - 8/26/2007 2:39:13 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I'm not disagreeing with that. I dont agree with all of it and I can find a lot of holes in it on my own. He makes a point in the introduction of his book to mention there is many fascinating tangents that cant be explained.



In some cases.. it can't be explained by his theory... and that is largely due to the limitations of the theory itself.  I would be very careful of putting to much stock in this given theory.  To many jump on it because it really seems to fit into the idea of the Dominant's centre of the world ideal.  It a big trap in my opinion for those that follow that thinking... Dominants and submissives alike.  It's good.. it's just not that good.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 100
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