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RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 6:48:51 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I'm ready and willing to read, with an open mind ... if you're ready and willing to type. Any topic is fine by me. Pick your poison and have at it.

Any topic?

It's a bit hard to just start listing everything I know about this lifestyle and BDSM just to prove that someone under 30 knows it. I could put the paper I wrote on BDSM, safety and art here - except that it was rather long and I don't think anyone would be all that interested.

I feel comfortable giving advice and helping someone learn (particularly in person) about wax play, flogging, spanking and a few other things but I really don't think I can claim "expert" status on anything and give a lecture on it here.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 21

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 6:49:54 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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art? creating or critiquing?

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 6:55:24 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Neither. It was for my capstone, Human Sexuality. It needed to tie into my major, art, and I enjoy making making my schoolwork a reason to research and learn about BDSM and d/s. So I wrote a 10-15 page paper, can't remember the extact number of pages right now, on BDSM and how it can be practiced safely. To link it to my major, I took classical artwork where a BDSM or BDSM like activity was going on and discussed what was happening in the work of art and how it either was or was not an accurate depictation of BDSM.

For my class presentation, I (thank you Master Fire for teaching me!) did an overview of how to do needle-play safely, showed some toys from my toybox and used an old photo of me being flogged to point out where and where not a person, particularly a novice, should be hit with a flogger.

I had fun with it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/6/2007 6:56:00 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 23

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:06:36 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant
I am over 30 in birth years but, in many way, still a young adult at heart.

So very true! Age is more a matter of attitude than years, i think. i have known some very "old" 20-somethings and some very youthful 60-somethings.

Some people seem to live a lot faster than others and gain a lot of experience and knowledge, without becoming old. Others just seem to be naturally old, before their time.

"Old people", to me, are the ones who always say things like, "when i was your age" or, "back in the good ol days" or, well, things like that.

Youthfulness, to me, is having a curiosity about things and wanting to try new things and open new doors and being open to new ideas.

That's how i look at it, any way. Age is really more mental than physical, to me.

But, no matter what age someone is or what experiences they have or haven't had, i think every one has a right to say what they feel and express themself. Everyone has a voice and the more voices, the better. It makes everything more interesting and fun.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David
___________________________________
"we all evolve at our own pace."

(in reply to Elegant)

Post #: 24

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:09:59 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

I have this HUGE problem with people who turn around and call the younger group (TNG ages) "know-it-alls" and then do things like say "I have more expereince and know more than you because I'm older." It's the same damned thing.

And just because you have "more expereince" doesn't mean it's added to your brain power or basic understanding of BDSM. How many year's you've raised children does NOT make you "more intelligent" in the ways of BDSM than anyone else. It has little or nothing to do with that in fact so why on earth do people tell me that they have children older than me so therefore I know nothing?

And for christ's sake...skill sets take minutes to learn and with practice can be "perfected" for their own play style. Just because I don't play the way you do doesn't make hitting someone in the face with a flogger wrong. Just ebcause you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's not "safe." People can't learn what they like and don't like by being "light weight" with them. If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it! Don't tell them that they need more scene experience before they can get there. How else is that person going to get said "expereince?"

Finally, before anyone tells me I have a lot to learn, I present in the Great Lakes area. I have numerous references for my skills and talents. Until you've talked to me at one of my workshops at a leather event or some such other occassion do not make a judgement on what I have to "learn."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....I feel better now. Thanks!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 25

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:14:26 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I adore being around those under 30. What they lack, sometimes, in experience and awareness they make up for in enthusiasm and having an open mind to new things and ideas. I also, sometimes, find those same qualities I enjoy in the very elderly. It is as though they have seen it all and quit trying to put everything in a box, they know it doesn't fit, they don't care if it fits. They are just busy loving life and don't care what others think.

I get tired of blowhards that always feel they need to label things, keep things nice and tidy. That think that because A is correct for them it applies to everyone. If you don't agree, you are wrong and they will argue to the death to try and beat you into submission. Again, I don't find that so much with younger people. They are more like "not for you? well, that's cool I guess" and they move on.... Granted, I am not saying this as a blanket statement. Just basing it upon my own experiences.

It is of us people in the middle that tend to frustrate me. Strutting around like somehow they've earned some sort of badge of honour just because they have lived Xnumber of years.

I spend alot of time in a college town. It just seems like the closer to 30 and beyond a person is, the more convinced they are of the one true way.......which of course is their way and of course everyone else is wrong. People like that don't last long around me.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 26

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:14:30 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it!

We simply disagree. I would not give a first year student a welding torch and tell them to have fun until they've mastered the basic concepts of sculpture and have shown they are at least somewhat responsible, ie. they won't burn the building down.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 27

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:15:01 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

I agree. I don't give a damn what a person's age is if what they say makes good sense.

Now if someone starts out all pissy and angry, showing attitude in big bold capital letters...regardless of age, gender, or dom vs sub, I'm not going to take that message seriously. The chip on the shoulder really ruins the conversation for me.

_____________________________

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 28

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:16:13 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Blow torches and sculpture have nothing to do with BDSM. The way of learning is doing something to an inanimate object. Not an interaction between two people. The priciples of learning are totally different.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 29

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:21:43 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Blow torches and sculpture have nothing to do with BDSM. The way of learning is doing something to an inanimate object. Not an interaction between two people. The priciples of learning are totally different.

If I don't know someone can hit my back without causing me unneeded or undesired pain, why would I let them hit my face?

When a person displays to me that they have mastered the basic concepts, they can move onto the harder ones. But no one flogs my face when they haven't already mastered the more "basic" flogging skills.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 30

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:25:23 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
I feel comfortable giving advice and helping someone learn (particularly in person) about wax play, flogging, spanking and a few other things but I really don't think I can claim "expert" status on anything and give a lecture on it here.

It's worth mentioning that any lifestyle is more than just this or that "kink"...

I have no problem at all taking technical advice on types of play I'm not familiar with (such as medical play) from a younger person if they have experience credentials to make their advice substantive.

However, I would be less inclined to give substantial weight to a much younger person on matters such as effective methods for disciplining a slave, or any other of the infinite complexities that can arise in any relationship.

_____________________________

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 31

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:28:46 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it!

Given that "extreme" often equates to "dangerous" (or, rather, "significantly higher risk"), this is not good advice for anyone--regardless of age.

_____________________________

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 32

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:30:01 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

When speaking of the relationship piece...

EVERYONE comes from a different place. What works for them in dicipline might not work for others. For instance... many consider the need for punishment in tasks and what not. I don't need punishment. MsK has never had to worry about it because as She fundly tells people who ask...I'm hard enough on myself when things go wrong. Which makes the need for Her to assigne something practically unessecary. All She has to do is point it out if I haven't seen it. Others need strong guidance. So from the bottom end of things yeah we can tell you what works for us and what others have told us but what ends up working for you may ahve no bearing or relation to what works for us...make sense?

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 33

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:33:12 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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BoiJen with the micro tourches you can do some serious play.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 34

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:33:46 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it!

Given that "extreme" often equates to "dangerous" (or, rather, "significantly higher risk"), this is not good advice for anyone--regardless of age.

"Extreme" does not always. That a perception of the matter. Not a fact. Again what you call "safe" others might not.

And no one learns anything by sitting on their ass and not DOING it. And my point is that to tell someone not to do something they want to learn how to do is silly. I garuntee no one here ever learned how to use a flogger by watching someone for hrs on end and was perfect when they picked one up the first time.

We play with physial objects. Tools. We're gonna learn all the science behind it. I can tell you exactly how a whip works. I wouldn't be able to handle 1, much less 4 pr 6, if I hand't picked one up.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 35

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:36:52 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

Besserwissers and know-it-alls come in all age groups. The general rule is that with age you gain both experiences and maturity. However there are many deviations from that general concept. Many people have had to grow up and deal with traumas and/or responsibilities at a very young age compared to the "norm" and there are also many people who have lived a sheltered life into their midlife or longer.

I once had a discussion with a woman ca. 30 years my senior. She didn't know me at all, she had no idea what I've done in my life, what I've been through or how I dealt with difficult things. Yet, early on in the conversation (less than 5 mins) she made the assumption that because of my age I was, wet behind the ears, immature, sheltered, ignorant and had alot to learn. I decided I wouldn't argue that with her. If she felt better putting herself on some self proclaimed "experience pedestal" then I'd be more than glad to listen to her rant to make her happy. However the thought did cross my mind that if she was so superiorly mature and experienced over me, why did she have to boast about it? why did she assume all those things about me without investigating first? Kinda immature isn't it.....

< Message edited by Viridana -- 9/6/2007 7:38:55 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 36

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:38:22 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Agree with Rover and others....Age matters little on the forums....There are some tremendous posters who happen to be younger folks...There are some idiots (myself included) that are a tad bit older.

It reminds me of another thread.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Now I'm 27.5.

God, I just love the young'uns....(Domiguy tickles LA) Awww...Look at her....she's just 330 months old but can suck cock damn near like a thirty year old.

Is this the kind of attitude that is pissing the young'uns off?....Fuck'em...No! I mean I would really like to fuck them all!!!.....Except for CL....He would spend the whole time yacking about the intricacies of how sperm is actually created...Such a buzzkill.

_____________________________

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 37

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:42:31 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it!

Given that "extreme" often equates to "dangerous" (or, rather, "significantly higher risk"), this is not good advice for anyone--regardless of age.

"Extreme" does not always. That a perception of the matter. Not a fact. Again what you call "safe" others might not.

And no one learns anything by sitting on their ass and not DOING it. And my point is that to tell someone not to do something they want to learn how to do is silly. I garuntee no one here ever learned how to use a flogger by watching someone for hrs on end and was perfect when they picked one up the first time.

We play with physial objects. Tools. We're gonna learn all the science behind it. I can tell you exactly how a whip works. I wouldn't be able to handle 1, much less 4 pr 6, if I hand't picked one up.

I totally agree.

I had a mentor for a couple of months. He had me fliogging a dress dummy for hours, to no great results. Finally he had his sub stand in front of me, and wonder of wonders, it came together, technically, energy wise and just together. It's not like I'm going to kill a kidney with a deer flogger as it is.

For overconfident tops, maybe that's the right way to train, for UNDER confident tops, it's actually kind of damaging to treat every toy as a weapon - I already felt that way. Some people in the woodshop need to hear that the table saw is your useful friend or they'll never finish anything, as a metaphor.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 38

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:43:00 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it!

Given that "extreme" often equates to "dangerous" (or, rather, "significantly higher risk"), this is not good advice for anyone--regardless of age.

"Extreme" does not always. That a perception of the matter. Not a fact. Again what you call "safe" others might not.

And no one learns anything by sitting on their ass and not DOING it. And my point is that to tell someone not to do something they want to learn how to do is silly. I garuntee no one here ever learned how to use a flogger by watching someone for hrs on end and was perfect when they picked one up the first time.

We play with physial objects. Tools. We're gonna learn all the science behind it. I can tell you exactly how a whip works. I wouldn't be able to handle 1, much less 4 pr 6, if I hand't picked one up.

I would have to agree with CelticLord. I certainly wouldn't recommend to anyone to try urethral sounds, an anal fisting or even a single tail for their first scene without having some prior instruction on the mechanics of doing such. You did say extreme, but went on to talk about flogging. I haven't seen many floggings that I would consider extreme....but even someone wishing to try a flogging should have a bit of information before using one on someone.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 39

RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd - 9/6/2007 7:44:49 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
If someone wants to try something "extreme" for their first scene fuckin do it!

Given that "extreme" often equates to "dangerous" (or, rather, "significantly higher risk"), this is not good advice for anyone--regardless of age.

"Extreme" does not always. That a perception of the matter. Not a fact. Again what you call "safe" others might not.

And no one learns anything by sitting on their ass and not DOING it. And my point is that to tell someone not to do something they want to learn how to do is silly. I garuntee no one here ever learned how to use a flogger by watching someone for hrs on end and was perfect when they picked one up the first time.

We play with physial objects. Tools. We're gonna learn all the science behind it. I can tell you exactly how a whip works. I wouldn't be able to handle 1, much less 4 pr 6, if I hand't picked one up.

I would have to agree with CelticLord. I certainly wouldn't recommend to anyone to try urethral sounds, an anal fisting or even a single tail for their first scene without having some prior instruction on the mechanics of doing such. You did say extreme, but went on to talk about flogging. I haven't seen many floggings that I would consider extreme....but even someone wishing to try a flogging should have a bit of information before using one on someone.

Extreme and technically difficult are not synonymous. How about face slapping?

For some people, no biggie, for others a loaded minefield.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 40

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