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RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:10:38 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Or is there only one way to handle this?


Yes!

There is one way,

Stop hanging off the coat-tails of the dead in the casket.

Simple.

I took care of my mother who had alzgeimers, she later became violent to the point of locking me and my son out of my own home.  She left and had to be on a list for missing elderly. I had to much later in time eventually call the police on my own mother for abusing me and my son out of confusion of where she was.  She is now in a home.  Was that easy? NO.  I was married to a man who went to Desert Storm I, do I bring it up HERE? OMG.  We all have pain. This is NO place for constant dwelling on it for pity.  I have seen a thread about a gal who's mistress was taking care of an elderly parent and other issues that were out of my league (different circumstances), thus I STAYED out of it.

You do NOT need a new gf/sub/slave, you need a grief counselor honeslty.  NO girl can save you from yourself.  Be a man first if you want to be or claim to be a Dominant. Geez.


(in reply to instynctive)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:12:23 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		"Consequently, while each of us may (and I hope do) have sympathy for his loss, none of us can share his grief or mourn with him.  There is not enough of him here to permit this; that power is not given to us."

Then, is there enough of any of us here to share ~anything~?  Why can we share our kinks; our rants; our disgust; our curiosity here with "total strangers" -and that be considered right or proper-  but not our  grief? 

I can't share in His grief equally- or mourn with Him in the context that I never knew those He lost- but I can empathize with Him; and I can show compassion and a semblance of understanding.  And if He choses to share memories of them- I can accept and respect them, without feeling the need to chastise or degrade Him for it.  Those that suggest He is somehow sullying their memory seem to forget that as husband, master, and father- He likely knows much better if sharing such is likened to them not resting in peace; or if they'd have been proud to have Him share their lives with us.

To everything there is a season.  Shared humanity is not a bad thing...and burying one's dead does not necessarily mean burying the memories of lives we shared with them.  For they never really die if they live on in our hearts.         

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:15:13 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Moreover, the OP has, in multiple posts, made reference to his loss.  No matter the pain, is it right, or proper, that he persist in wringing sympathy from our hearts?  Is it a fitting memorial to the departed to use their memories to strum the heartstrings of total strangers?  Can the reasonable man read this eulogy, eloquent in its way, and not feel somehow exploited?



I think each person views it from their own perspective.

There are those who would never share information. And when they think about why someone would, they project their own reasons for not doing so.

It is a fallacy to think I seek sympathy. I speak of my loved ones for they were my life for over ten years. I mention them when it seems appropriate to the discussion.

That others wouldn't mention it at all, out of fear that others might think they were seeking sympathy, is not my issue.

I mention them because I loved them, they were my life, and mentioning them seems appropriate at the time.

Or are we to adopt "One True Way" for dealing with the dead?

In which case, whose way will be the "One True Way"? Yours? Merc's? Mine?

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:17:24 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Read my PM to you.



_____________________________



(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:17:38 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I think i personally would be in big trouble here if I suffered this kind of loss. I tend to talk, or "cry out" at times when i have suffered real tragedy before. Thankfully its only been twice in my life so far. i would call family, and friends, i would chat with some online friends, or even invite my self to tea at my girl friends and cry on her shoulder....so i'm not sure, but i guess that makes me a whiner, for a time anyway.  I tend to be an open book anyway though. 

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:17:56 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

For they never really die if they live on in our hearts.



My mother used those exact words when she told my brother and I that our father had died.

She was right, and so are you.

Thank you.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:22:16 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

My mother used those exact words when she told my brother and I that our father had died.

She was right, and so are you.

Thank you.


yes, good point, must they live in MY  heart too?

If I wanted the local obituaries or geneology page I would open a link to such.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:23:04 AM   
Dom87110


Posts: 102
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		There really seem to be three distinct matters here:
  • The honoring of a man's dearly beloved, yet departed
    Here is a man who is meaning to honor his dead by sharing with the community at large about them, about his feelings, about their shared togetherness and inerests, about his life with them. Let him if he wants to! Stop reading his posts if you don't want to!
  • The community at large feels there is too much reference to his late wife
    Bob - you are trying to honor your wife and son's memory. But (it seems specifically on your wife's account), your effort is backfiring, since you share so much about her that many feel annoyed and bothered by it (I remember as a kid that I often found the repetitive accounts of my elders to be annoyingly dull). Hence your attempt to honor and respect turns into dishonor and disrespect with regard to the community that you seek out. Maybe lay low with the frquency of your recollections and anecdotes?
  • The sharing of intimate detail about interactions with a past slave
    I read plenty of posts in the forums where Doms and Masters, subs and slaves offer their insights, advice and recommendations based on their past experiences. Many times, experiences with partners that are no longer part of their lives. I see/read no one ripping them to pieces for accounts from experiences with people from their past. Why the double standard?

My 100 pesetas.

Gus

_____________________________

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde


That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

Me

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:24:02 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Whilst i have every sympathy that you lost your loved ones i do have to wonder at your mentioning them at every opportunity.
We had run ins in my recent thread on hiring out and to me you mentioned them in their with no valid reason, no connection to the subject at hand.
Which (slightly off topic but what the hell) went very well
Anyway to the real point of my post, if i was looking for a Dom / Domme i would probably rule you out due to the fact you give off the vibes that anyone who becomes involved with you will be living in your dead wifes shadow. I do not personally feel you are anywhere near ready to move on and i think it would be quite irresponsible for you to take on the dynamics and all that come with them of another relationship at present.
 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:26:28 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

For they never really die if they live on in our hearts.



My mother used those exact words when she told my brother and I that our father had died.

She was right, and so are you.

Thank you.


Well sweetNsmartBBW and you are wrong....When my time comes to mosey down Decomposition Drive...All the nice thoughts in the world aren't going to enable me to fuck, get sucked or nail a tit to a board....You know why? Cuz...I'm fucking dead...That's why...Dead...ExDomiguy...No more...End of the line...That's all she wrote.

_____________________________



(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:27:41 AM   
caught4u


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		oh, man..i am going to have nightmares now

_____________________________

"Be Yourself - Everyone Else is Taken"


~owned by Master of Wind~

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:29:24 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: instynctive

I think it's wonderful he chose to share these fond memories with everyone and that we should each cherish who W/we have just that much more.

Thank you for sharing this Bobkgin.  My hat is off to you, Sir.



Thank you.

When I have spoken of my son in another forum, I've had parents tell me how it has changed the way they treat their kids and their partners.

I don't think any of us fully appreciate the fragility of life until we lose those most dear.

Perhaps there will be some in the 'community' who will talk about death with their partners, to better understand how they feel, what they want after they're gone, etc.

I was lucky to have had that time. But some people die very suddenly, and without any notice of it coming.

It would be a shame to miss the last chance to say "I love you" because we're convinced of our own invincibility, or immortality.

Just a thought.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to instynctive)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:33:25 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

My mother used those exact words when she told my brother and I that our father had died.

She was right, and so are you.

Thank you.


yes, good point, must they live in MY  heart too?

If I wanted the local obituaries or geneology page I would open a link to such.


Who is putting a gun to your head and telling you to read anything I write?

And why is it my responsibility to write only what you want to read?

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:35:36 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		What scares me is they are catching and coming for you  all over this thread.

Wonder if they would do a sister act?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:37:34 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

In which case, whose way will be the "One True Way"? Yours? Merc's? Mine?
Never has anything I've posted announced any "way" - "One True" or otherwise.

quote:

So I am curious to see what opinions on the matter exist in the 'community'.
Your words ring hollow. If you were curious about the 'community' you posted, your agenda wouldn't include use of the CM 'Block' feature. Your actions reflect, as best, someone who is curious to see opinions that match his own and support you. At worst, its an add campaign in the hopes of achieving your goal of finding two slaves to service you.

Some, prior to you, have used the 'critique my profile' approach to generate profile "action". You use an alleged dead wife and child. To date, a unique technique to say the least. If its successful and it works, good for you! From that perspective you are to be congratulated on developing a new approach, even if its my opinion that its disgusting.

This is the 'community' you chose to expose yourself. Each post in this thread reflects the 'community' opinion. The good, the bad, the neutral, the sympathetic, the believing and the skeptic. Is their any doubt which ones you'll consider 'right'?

quote:

Thank you in advance for your thoughts on this matter.
You, and anyone critical of what's been posted subsequently to your OP, should remember -YOU solicited response.

Disgusting, insulting, and reflecting a desperate sad shell of a man are further thoughts.

Once again...

You're welcome!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 9/7/2007 11:44:55 AM >

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:38:46 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		I have dealt with a lot of loss, in my own life and in others...

Hospice programs helped me some; and in return I have tried to help other people.  Dying, death, the dead- our culture tries to gloss over such things and there are those that even suggest that the subject death is taboo in our society.  We speak in euphemisms and try to hide from death- when in reality, it's just part of life. 

No need to thank me...it's just something I believe...and has proven true, at least for me.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:44:06 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:


  • The honoring of a man's dearly beloved, yet departed
    Here is a man who is meaning to honor his dead by sharing with the community at large about them, about his feelings, about their shared togetherness and inerests, about his life with them. Let him if he wants to! Stop reading his posts if you don't want to!

  • I can read any post. We all can, and respond if we choose.
  • The community at large feels there is too much reference to his late wife
    Bob - you are trying to honor your wife and son's memory. But (it seems specifically on your wife's account), your effort is backfiring, since you share so much about her that many feel annoyed and bothered by it (I remember as a kid that I often found the repetitive accounts of my elders to be annoyingly dull). Hence your attempt to honor and respect turns into dishonor and disrespect with regard to the community that you seek out. Maybe lay low with the frquency of your recollections and anecdotes?

  • I said this long, long ago. pft.
  • The sharing of intimate detail about interactions with a past slave
    I read plenty of posts in the forums where Doms and Masters, subs and slaves offer their insights, advice and recommendations based on their past experiences. Many times, experiences with partners that are no longer part of their lives. I see/read no one ripping them to pieces for accounts from experiences with people from their past. Why the double standard?  


    • Mentioning ex-slaves or doms they are alive to participate. They might find you here, know you, etc.  Strict opposite: Who are we to argue with the dead.

    Oh damn, I screwed up the quote and it ain't all neat.  Forgive me, me tired

    < Message edited by came4U -- 9/7/2007 11:45:48 AM >

    (in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)
    Profile   Post #: 57
    RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:44:37 AM   
    HutchGarahl


    Posts: 562
    Joined: 1/10/2007
    Status: offline     		Ok...i'm going out on a limb here seeing as this is the only post i've read from Bob....

    Did any of you who are bashing this man stop to think that THIS IS his way of dealing with his loss? Everyone deals with death differently. When I lost my neice to a drunk driver....I couldn't speak about it, I couldn't look at any pictures of her or nothing....all I could do is hit a brick wall or a tree. And was like that for over 10 years. Even now, so many years down the road....it hurts too much to talk of her for long.

    His wife and son were a part of him....and from what I read, a very good part. Yes, I will have to say he does need help. I would even agree that he may not be totally ready to let them rest....but I don't see anything disgusting or degrading about him sharing the life he had with his wife and son.

    Bob, I do hope you will seek help in dealing with your loss. I will also agree with at this point in time, you don't try to look for another sub/slave as it can do more harm than good in trying to deal with it. Take some time to heal, then in a year or so...try looking again. Not to replace, because you can never replace one who was loved as deeply as you state....you can only go on. May the heavens bless you and you find peace within yourself.

    I do have one question for you though, if it's not too much....your wife died from cancer....may I ask what happened to your son as to why he's not with you?

    (in reply to Bobkgin)
    Profile   Post #: 58
    RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:48:07 AM   
    sweetNsmartBBW


    Posts: 167
    Joined: 5/16/2007
    Status: offline     		"Well sweetNsmartBBW and you are wrong....When my time comes to mosey down Decomposition Drive...All the nice thoughts in the world aren't going to enable me to fuck, get sucked or nail a tit to a board....You know why? Cuz...I'm fucking dead...That's why...Dead...ExDomiguy...No more...End of the line...That's all she wrote."

    You should head over to the psychic thread- since You have must have had some sort of revelation that makes Your word on this the be-all and end-all of the subject.  Many MANY people disagree with You on this- and for Your sake (as well as mine) I hope they are right, and You are wrong.     

    Truth is, nobody really knows what happens when we die.  Many, Yourself included ~believe~ they do...

    But, existence of life after death was not what I was referring to.  I was referring to the idea that people live on in those that are left behind.  I have lost folks that are very much alive- in my heart- and always will be.  Because what they taught me, the love we shared, the memories we forged still exist and in them- so do the individual's that have long since passed.

    (in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)
    Profile   Post #: 59
    RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:48:28 AM   
    Bobkgin


    Posts: 1335
    Joined: 7/28/2007
    From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

    Dying, death, the dead- our culture tries to gloss over such things and there are those that even suggest that the subject death is taboo in our society.  We speak in euphemisms and try to hide from death- when in reality, it's just part of life. 



    Indeed.

    And as I believe in an existence after death, death is but the door between this realm and the next.


    _____________________________

    When all is said and done, what will you regret?

    That you never really lived?

    Or there was so much living left to do?

    For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

    (in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)
    Profile   Post #: 60
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