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RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:48:54 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, as the branch snaps....

I have wonders to relate, but I must not, CM would have a case of the ass at me that would defy all known physics.

but LOLOLOLOLOLOL, what is in my head.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to HutchGarahl)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:49:32 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Did any of you who are bashing this man stop to think that THIS IS his way of dealing with his loss? Everyone deals with death differently. When I lost my neice to a drunk driver....I couldn't speak about it, I couldn't look at any pictures of her or nothing....all I could do is hit a brick wall or a tree. And was like that for over 10 years. Even now, so many years down the road....it hurts too much to talk of her for long.

His wife and son were a part of him....and from what I read, a very good part. Yes, I will have to say he does need help. I would even agree that he may not be totally ready to let them rest....but I don't see anything disgusting or degrading about him sharing the life he had with his wife and son.


Hutch, I have no problem with that, but I do not want appreciate his grief mode mixed and disguised within every discussion of him fixing /finding a slave included.  It is unfair and pity-mongling. 

(in reply to HutchGarahl)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:52:38 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

But Bob talks about his loss in most of his posts ... He also does scene reports what they used to do.



Excuse me, but neither of those statements are true.


What do you think your OP was? You are talking the sexual acts that your deceased wife and you used to do. Just because you didn't get into every detail doesn't make any less of a scene report.

You even tell us how many nails you used. The title is "on behalf of..". What are you sayng on behalf of her?

Yes you are in pain. I understand that. But we can't help you and you telling the details of a sex life that no longer exists isn't going to help you either. BDSM is not something to be ashamed of or hidden away, but if Valyraen died and I were looking for a new dominant, I probably wouldn't talk about how great Valyraen was all the time. Nobody wants to be second best.

I think you need to speak to a therapist. Not the boards.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/7/2007 11:56:14 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:53:17 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

You use an alleged dead wife and child.



They don't exist.
They exist and I am abusing their memory.
They may not be dead.

Honestly, merc, it is hard to keep up with your efforts to find some fault in a husband and father talking about his family.

If anyone would like to see a picture of them, they are welcome to request it of me.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:54:49 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

katy has cocker spaniel ears....They remind me of my dead sub. 



OMG   !!!  I hardly ever laugh outloud at the posts here; but this one; sheeshhhhhhhh!!!   I damn near spewed water everywhere...
 
Domiguy...yer a hoot!  (but I'm never going to be able to look at katy the sameway again!)
 
katy...you're going to have to get a new pic, now!!!   Really!!!
 
bearlee

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(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:55:21 AM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Point taken came4u.

Bob...in respect to what I see from others...how about you leaving your discussion on your wife and son to only this post. Don't take it to others. I can understand your hurting and want to talk....but I can see where the others are coming from as well. If your wanting to find someone new to bring into your life, your wanting her to come in to love you for you...not to feel sorry for you because if she does that...it won't work. I will stand behine what I said as far as waiting to look though as you do need time to heal.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:55:35 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

But Bob talks about his loss in most of his posts ... He also does scene reports what they used to do.



Excuse me, but neither of those statements are true.


What do you think your OP was? You are talking the sexual acts that your deceased wife and you used to do. Just because you didn't get into every detail doesn't make any less of a scene report.


This is the first time I've discussed the intimacies between my wife and I.

I have briefly mentioned the first woman with whom I engaged in bdsm, in a thread intended for the purpose of discussing first bdsm experiences.

She was not my wife.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:56:34 AM   
Dom87110


Posts: 102
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
Hutch, I have no problem with that, but I do not want appreciate his grief mode mixed and disguised within every discussion of him fixing /finding a slave included.  It is unfair and pity-mongling. 


It is still a LOT more sincere and straight forward than most of the slave-meat trolling that is done here by posers and fakes! At least Bob is open and sincere about trying to find a new slave and not just out for some behind-the-door dolphin-flogging or a quest for a fucktoy for one night.

Granted, though - I am not a fan of pity-monging techniques either. But then again did anything in the terms and conditions of use of CM say that one's techniques had to be "fair"? And then - fair by whose standards?

< Message edited by Dom87110 -- 9/7/2007 11:58:49 AM >

_____________________________

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde


That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

Me

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:57:27 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

It is still a LOT more sincere and straight forward than most of the slave-meat trolling that is done here by posers and fakes! At least Bob is open and sincere about trying to find a new slave and not just out for some behind-the-door dolphin-flogging or a quest for a fucktoy for one night.


Bob was merely trying to show a lil of his 'sadistic side' to those that may have thought that he is all heart. Aweeee. 

Bob, if you are sooo imaginative why not just write a FULL profile of what you enjoy and that you are a commitment-junkee, there till the end-type, lover of big breasts, and not afraid of blood. etc. (aka willing to do almost anything a gal will ask you to do, without it damaging um's)?  So easy.

And Bob, long ago you spoke of your son being autisitc, yet you always refer to him as quite emotional and loving.  How can he be both???  Autism implies the inability to show or read emotions. 

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/7/2007 11:58:28 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:57:29 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

But Bob talks about his loss in most of his posts ... He also does scene reports what they used to do.



Excuse me, but neither of those statements are true.


What do you think your OP was? You are talking the sexual acts that your deceased wife and you used to do. Just because you didn't get into every detail doesn't make any less of a scene report.


This is the first time I've discussed the intimacies between my wife and I.

I have briefly mentioned the first woman with whom I engaged in bdsm, in a thread intended for the purpose of discussing first bdsm experiences.

She was not my wife.



Then why mention it? If the post was about not being able to speak about your wife, what was the point of taking so much time to talk about it?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:58:35 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


katy...you're going to have to get a new pic, now!!! Really!!!


I fear that domi won't like me if I get rid of my cocker spaniel ears, I think he has a dog ears fetish!



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 11:59:54 AM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

I don't pretend to know the OP's motives here....but the thing is, nobody other than Him actually knows them either.  Telling Him that He should be ashamed of Himself, or that His post are disgusting and distasteful - why?  Death is part of life...it comes to all of us, and we all have lost loved ones...or will.  Why is His sharing the details of the life He shared with them such a horrible thing?

Yeah, maybe this is the wrong forum for it.  Then again, if that's the case- it's also the wrong place for discussions on psychics and common sense- yet both are current topics.  Perhaps, since Bob feels this is part of His ~community~, that the posts belong here- with like minded people that can appreciate the sort of relationship He had with His wife?  Sharing memories of those you love is important...and if this is where He feels comfortable sharing- so what?  How has He harmed anyone?  Why post or criticize Him for it?  If it bothers You, why not ignore it?  I just don't get it...

And no, I'm not saying He's anymore entitled to post how He feels than anyone else here.  I just can't for the life of me figure out why this is such an issue for some folks.  He went through something most of us can't imagine- of course it's going to effect His postings and His views on life.   

For the record- I'm an impartial party-  I have never talked to Him, and don't know anything beyond what I have gleemed from posts here. 

   


I agree.

If it helps him feel better, helps others in similar situations relate and feel less alone,  etc, what's the big deal?  Who doesn't like to be heard? 

*shrugs - It could be a powerful healing effect for him.  
....More important things in life to get uptight about. 

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 9/7/2007 12:02:47 PM >

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m y s p a c e


(in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:00:26 PM   
Dom87110


Posts: 102
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I fear that domi won't like me if I get rid of my cocker spaniel ears, I think he has a dog ears fetish!


Are you sure it is actually the dog's ears he is interested in?

_____________________________

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde


That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

Me

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:02:01 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U.

And Bob, long ago you spoke of your son being autisitc, yet you always refer to him as quite emotional and loving.  How can he be both???  Autism implies the inability to show or read emotions. 


That's where your wrong hun. My son was autistic. He was one the most lovable and emotional kid you could ever meet. Autism doesn't mean they can't show these qualities....people born with autism don't understand these emotions as we can. One could be laughing about something and within seconds be screaming bloody murder about the same thing.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:03:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I am a strong believer in not asking for opinions when you are not accepting of them. If Bob needs a safe space to talk about his loss, there are many options. The collarme forums are simply not a safe space nor should every place be a safe space.

Bob, if you want BDSM-friendly safe space areas where you can talk about this sort of thing and ask for thoughts, there are plenty of communities on LJ and I'm sure other forums exists where the moderators actively try to make it a safe space.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:06:54 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		BY GODS,

thank you Hutch. 

Think about the title of the THREAD itself, and how he wants US to NOT discuss his issues as a negative. OMG

I repeat, this is not an obituary site.  Personal (repeated mortuary/eulogy) for total strangers is not only a pain in the ass it is depressing, inappropriate and just plain pity-mongling if it occurs more than twice in a year IMO.

IMO IMO

I have no pity for a man who seeks to absorb pity to attract a mate.  It is not only un-Domly, it is un-manly in essense.

(in reply to Dom87110)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:09:33 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Honestly, merc, it is hard to keep up with your efforts to find some fault in a husband and father talking about his family.
Your disrespect for them would lead me to believe at this point that any picture you provided came from 'flickr.com' or some other picture website, perhaps with a photo shopped picture of you added.

Meanwhile, you sidestep most challenge. I appreciate to respond to me you have to Block and un-Block, but is mine the only cynical opinion you value? I'm honored to be your obsession to 'convert'; but unless you're flying into LA or will be at Folsom where we can chat in person (and I'd welcome the opportunity) its just NOT going to happen via any on-line media.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
But Bob talks about his loss in most of his posts ... He also does scene reports what they used to do.
Excuse me, but neither of those statements are true.


As AquaticSub posted: "What do you think your OP was? You are talking the sexual acts that your deceased wife and you used to do." 
 
You say you don't bring up your ad campaign when its irrelevant? 'misstrubation' would disagree: "We had run ins in my recent thread on hiring out and to me you mentioned them in their with no valid reason, no connection to the subject at hand."
 
Sorry its so hard for you to keep up. I'll try to type slower...

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:10:32 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

I do have one question for you though, if it's not too much....your wife died from cancer....may I ask what happened to your son as to why he's not with you?



He choked on food and help was too long in getting to him.

I was not with him when it occurred.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to HutchGarahl)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:12:48 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Or is there only one way to handle this?


Yes!

There is one way,



Your way.

And who decreed that you should tell the rest of us how to live our lives, and to attack anyone who doesn't do it your way?


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Speaking on behalf of a dead slave ... - 9/7/2007 12:13:42 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Or is there only one way to handle this?


Yes!

There is one way,



Your way.

And who decreed that you should tell the rest of us how to live our lives, and to attack anyone who doesn't do it your way?



Nobody is attacking you.

You asked for our thoughts. You have them now.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 80
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