Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/20/2007 10:41:14 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
A wise man once told me early on in my profesional career....We cannot be life preservers to people that insist on wearing concrete shoes...I think that is always a good rule of thumb to remember. 


That is wise advice and very true. However, just because we can't save people from themselves does not mean that we shouldn't offer the suggestion that concrete shoes are probably not the best choice for swimming attire.


I agree with you both.  But I also want to offer up something else.  Clobbering someone with their own concrete shoes doesn't help them come up for air any faster....um, or something like that.

I have pretty mixed feelings on the speak up or don't speak up topic.  As I've mentioned many times on these boards, I was in a very destructive marriage, for a very long time, to a sociopathic man who was emotionally abusive.  I allowed this to happen.  I allowed him to treat me in a way that was rather horrific.  I was convinced I was the one in the wrong, after all, and I deserved it.  Actually, he convinced me I was mentally ill, so I listened to him and followed his lead...into hell.

But anyone who tried to convince me I was wearing concrete shoes...particularly those who came on strong - well you know, they didn't understand.  (facetiously)  They didn't know the "real" me, you know, the mentally ill one who made my husband so miserable.  So I would retreat deeper into my dark place and feel even more isolated, because now those I held dear hated my husband and thought I was wrong...and so it went. It was more destructive to me to be clobbered with hardness than to not be. 

Most people shrugged me off and went on their way.  Can't blame them.  One woman hung with me, listening, and gently suggesting different ways of thinking.  I had no idea why she liked a fool like me, but she did, and I listened.  Another woman just hung with me anyway. In fact, we had dinner two nights ago when she was in town (she moved away a few years ago) and was telling me how scared she was for me but she knew if she spoke up I'd pull further way and that scared her more.  She asked what's up with me now, that I look and sound better than she's ever seen me?

I say this because I really had to find my own way out of my hell, and in retrospect, I have huge appreciation for those who were gentle with me at a time in my life when the one I trusted was coming down on me so hard, regularly. 

The funny thing now is when people try to clobber their "abuse" message at me now, regarding my Master - you know, the guy who helped me find my inner light.  All because what we share together goes to places they can not see going.  Now, I don't really care what is occasionally said, because I know myself now, and such words are not troublesome to me.  But back then?  When I was already weakened by the hell of abuse?  Yeah, throw some concrete at me and shake me up.  Uh huh, THAT sure strengthened me and helped me see reality (not).  But it clears your conscious, so I have to ask, who is the message really for?

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/20/2007 10:46:38 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		At least on a professional basis I tend to hope that maybe if they aren't ready for the message one day something I've said or done will resonate with them.  I think there are "knowitalls" on every forum that talk to talk, I also think there are people that worry about posters and hope to make a difference.  The bottom line is this, it's harder than hell to get people to see things they don't want to in person all day every day, it's unlikely to make them see it here in a few lines.

Where you are is where you are ownedgirlie, only you know if it's where you should be.

l

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/20/2007 10:54:55 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Where you are is where you are ownedgirlie, only you know if it's where you should be.



I'll agree with this, definitely.  And I apply it to others, too, which is why I try not to clobber them with what I've decedied is where they should be or not.

Just to add, a therapist I was seeing who was helping me recover from the former abuse said something interesting to me once.  I mentioned an area of my world which had been extremely dark, and which I had been "clobbered" about before.  Even the mere mention of it had me overwhelmed with really negative emotions and had me in tears.  He said, "No...you are absolutely not ready to go there yet.  We need to walk there slowly, not jump in recklessly."  In my good conscience, I would hate to throw someone in the deep end recklessly by such "clobbering" when they should be walking there slowly.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/20/2007 11:03:57 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
But it clears your conscious, so I have to ask, who is the message really for?


Sometimes, the message isn't about or to the person currently wearing the concrete shoes.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/20/2007 11:14:47 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
But it clears your conscious, so I have to ask, who is the message really for?


Sometimes, the message isn't about or to the person currently wearing the concrete shoes.


Oh I do get that.  I just don't want to hurt one person trying to save another, so to speak.  But thanks for answering!  I wasn't thinking of the message for a different audience when I wrote that.  I was thinking of it being for the messenger or the shoe-wearer - not of other outside observers, which I think is what you're talking about...?

edited for clarity..or an attempt at it, anyway

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 9/20/2007 11:16:25 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/20/2007 11:34:28 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

But standing ovation to those that balance it by speaking against harmful choices. Within this lifestyle (considering all the risks and extremities that one could choose from) an important element in all discussions for the betterment of the individuals and the communities they exist in.


A noble sentiment....but how do you determine what constitutes a "harmful choice"?


_____________________________



(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 12:31:35 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
 
“One has not only the right of choice, but a moral responsibility to support another’s right to choose.  Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to rise against harmful choices!”

 
 
Objective laws can be determined to be unjust by the application of logic.  Morals, however, are subjective. Harm, too, is not objective and differs from person to person. What harms Jane may not harm June. The criteria for physical harm is probably easier to determine, but the criteria for mental harm ... you open up a huge can of worms when you delve into that area. So, where's the line? It seems to me that it can only be determined on a case by case basis and the first and foremost authority in each case is going to be the participant of the activities, not 3rd parties who are 'most likely' not going to be privvy to all the facts needed to make the determination in the first place.
 
When I examine whether or not I believe in an individuals right to choose I can only conclude that their right to choose outweighs my right to determine whether or not those choices are valid for them as I'm simply not qualified to do so.  I can certainly voice an opinion that activity X would be wrong 'for me', but I can't categorically say that because it's wrong for me, it's wrong for everyone. I am one woman, in one country who understands best my own culture. My perceptions are quite limited in the grand scheme of things.
 
You either believe YKIOK or you don't. I don't see how you can have it both ways. If you embrace the idea that you can determine what is right and wrong for someone else, do you also give others the right to determine what is right and wrong for you? If the line is not consent what is it? Broken bones? Bruises? A red behind? A pink behind? A mindfuck? Who decides? The collective 'us'?
 
You can give a standing ovation to those who balance the YKIOK crowd (of which I most whole-heartedly am one) if such is what you feel you need to do for a clear moral conscience. That's your right. It's my right to cringe that freedom of choice means so little to so many and when you take it away, it's only a first step in squelching even more individual rights. In my view, there's way too much of that already.
 
Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 12:54:22 AM   
Kimveri


Posts: 783
Joined: 7/14/2007
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		G'morning, folks,

Hello, KnightofMists,

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Hats off to those that that defend a person’s right to choose.
But standing ovation to those that balance it by speaking against harmful choices.{...}an important element in all discussions for the betterment of the individuals and the communities they exist in.


There's a delicate balance to be found between these two things. It's not easy, so for those who love the easy path, it's unlikely.

For those who like adventure, adversity, a challenge, this can be a rewarding precipice to walk, but it remains a precipice. Speaking against a wrong choice is laudable, but it's often interpreted as speaking against the person. Moreso if it's uninvited. This is the moment that balance is lost, & someone goes over the edge of that precipice. Will it be the one speaking out so boldly, with such righteousness? Will it be the one whose choice was destructive, as destructive as falling off a precipice? Will it be some unknown silent observer who will slide unnoticed over that edge?

This is the chance we take, & the cost we pay, for making choices.

Sometimes speaking out drives away the one you wish to save, drives them right to destruction. Sometimes being silent makes you an accomplice in that destruction. The choice is dangerous, & not only for the ones making "wrong" choices, but also for those making "right" choices.

If there was no risk, no danger, no potential for destruction in all of life (not merely in "this or that lifestyle") then where would be the gain, the loss, the pain, the joy, the loneliness or the love? Where would be the value?

I have had bones broken, in work, in play, by my own choice & by the will of one I loved. I have spoken out & been spurned for it. I have been silent & then condemned for that. Either choice, I have no regrets, because I did what I thought best at that time, given what I knew in that moment.

It's never a matter of what's "right" or "wrong", in my opinion. It's a matter of what's best.

I think if we all reach for that, our own personal best & let our example speak for itself, there's no louder condemnation of the alternatives -- be they "evil, destructive, bad, wrong, mediocre." In my opinion, the worst thing in the world is not some vague or specific "wrong".....it's apathy.

Do what you must, do your best at it & let the chips fall where they may.

No one gets out alive.

~Kimveri

_____________________________

"You get what you accept."

"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 5:13:40 AM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline 		i learned long ago that you aren't going to "save" someone who doesn't want to be saved...period.  So you can waste your breath and try beating them over the head with your moral standards....and you are just wasting your time.
 
And this isn't just about D/s.  How many of us, in real life, know people in abusive relationships, drug addicts, alcoholics, etc.  If you care about them at all, sure, you try to help them get out of that.  But if they are not asking for your help, then how much time do you want to waste?
 
And even moreso here....where some of those we feel are in "destructive relationships" are not asking for help....they are, in fact, saying they are happy.  And they have chosen where they are (unlike a vanilla in an abusive relationship who did not expect that but is now stuck for various reasons).  Exactly who am i trying to save them from?
 
These people are adults.... and most adults don't like to think that others are trying to tell them what to do.  i remember just before my father got sick...the doctor telling him to lay off the fried foods.  my father was Italian...everything but pasta was fried!  So i come over, and there he is...frying away.  Of course i said something to him....but he didn't want to hear it.  my opinion....my cajoling...were really not welcome....so i let it go.
 
i can have opinions on those i feel are self destructive;  i can offer help to them....but by jesum, i am not going to push my beliefs or way of life on them.  And this is generally with those i know in real life;  on the net, i don't even know these people so i am really even less motivated to do so.
 
So in short, if someone isn't asking for help...i don't offer it.  If i hear something i deem incredibly dangerous, i may extend a hand.  But once i realize what i'm saying is most likely falling on deaf ears, then i'm done with it.  i'm not a savior....thinking i can save every self-destructo in the world...and neither am i a control freak having any desire to control how others live their lives.
 
DG

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 5:54:13 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Most of the time you can't approach these issues head on. The person experiening the self destructive behavior is usually very unlikely to respond to that kind of approach. I've found that the best you can do is to point out that you have concerns about their choices. Engage them in a non-judgemental discussion of their choices and allow them to explore their own motivations and their own concerns. They might still choose the unhealthy activity, but you have planted a kernal of thought and provided a support for them if they decide they need to talk. At least then I have voiced my concerns, my love and support for my friend and I can somewhat appease my conscience.

I learned not to rescue the hard way (like most of us).

When it comes to kink it's very difficult to say what is harmful and what is not. The lines are already blurred based on conventional concepts of abuse. It's a very subjective thing, based on one's own responses. It's very difficult to tell from the outside. That's why it's best not to meddle or judge another's kink but instead to focus on the person and his or her well being.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 9:02:27 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips His lid;

I once explained to another how frustrating (as a police officer) I found the criminal element group to quickly vow and declare 'their rights' when in police custody or when they were criminally wronged by involving the police, and yet none of these people considered my rights.  "My rights' were what are bound in law from the moral expectations of our society.  A member of that society I am/was.   (In the majority of 'your' cases I believe what you call 'for the people, by the people....') 

He rabidly said; "Yes, people have the cart before the horse.  I have  no rights, but I give you rights and you by your actions give me rights.   I cannot declare that I have rights"   Now this caused alot of questioning as I had never thought about it from this perspective.   It is true that you as an individual give a person their rights (the horse) and they give you rights. (the cart).   It is on this basis that unjust laws and societal mores(beliefs) adjust.   For Example- Anti discrimination actions by individuals promote the rights of others (like MLK and numerous little people as a collective) create change in legislature so that it applies to all (the cart).

I try to juxapose this philosophy in my judgement of people, whether I pull my head in or put it out at risk of beheading.

Changes in our media to talking about 'spanking and roping' on even American Sitcoms I have seen in recent years clearly demonstrates the influence of the cart. BDSM is more widely acknowledged than ever before and may well one day attain more legitimacy but obviously legislation permitting 'slavery'............... 

The format of Kings and Queens (that many of you long ago rejected) is also very similar. I may have been a subject of the Queen/King (still am on paper in Australia) but as a subject (Cart) I am the basis of what makes them the King/Queen (horse).   It is the Kings/Queens of past that have failed in this ability that were deposed.  President Bush and heirachy are today little different. Queen Elizabeth II always refers to herself in the third person as say 'Your Queen..... not I am/will.... as acknowledgement to this cart.   If the American Government fails to acknowledge the majority wishes of the cart, the cart will overturn and render the horse useless.  (although for the cart to overturn the hyperglobalist multinationals that's almost impossible!  These hyperglobalists are like an equine brain disease that is unseen by the cart but influences every direction the horse takes, all the while the horse knows this and tries not to overturn the cart it is supposed to be leading!)

Thanks again KOM!   A deviously crafted OP.

He toffs His lid to all cheekily.    Driver.

< Message edited by Driver1961 -- 9/21/2007 9:06:06 AM >

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 9:13:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think I have to agree with Celeste (Bita).

I have been thinking about this alot the last couple days when I have had the chance.

I get, that wanting to help someone is a human tendency. Been there, tried it. What I have found is that most people just purely don't really want it. Especially if it can in ANY WAY be perceived as an attack on their judgement or that of someone they love.

I am at the point now where I honestly believe that we choose our life paths, either conciously or subconciously, based upon things we need to learn, things we need to go through.

Now, for those that are going to jump all over that with all sorts of examples, don't bother. I get it and have heard it from you enough times before.

I just look back at my own life and some of the assinine choices I made, things that hurt me or people I love. Of course there were people trying to dissuade me. Did I listen? HELL NO!! I sincerely thought I was right. All their mamby pamby little "poor naive LeeAnn" talks did was piss me off. "How DARE they even begin to assume they know what is best for me!!" Regardless of how it was presented. And you know, of course some of them were right about some of the issues, but the reality is, I needed to go through that stuff. I needed to make the choices I did. It made me the person I am today and I like that person.

What I did listen to were those that said things like, " I am worried about you, are you okay?" or " I cannot agree with your choices but I love you, support you, and am here for you". It kept the lines of communication open. Those are the people that stayed in my life.

So, regardless of what someone else chooses for their life and wether or not I feel it is a correct choice...........most of it, I feel I need to keep my big yap shut.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 9:23:03 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think I have to agree with Celeste (Bita).

I have been thinking about this alot the last couple days when I have had the chance.

I get, that wanting to help someone is a human tendency. Been there, tried it. What I have found is that most people just purely don't really want it. Especially if it can in ANY WAY be perceived as an attack on their judgement or that of someone they love.

I am at the point now where I honestly believe that we choose our life paths, either conciously or subconciously, based upon things we need to learn, things we need to go through.

Now, for those that are going to jump all over that with all sorts of examples, don't bother. I get it and have heard it from you enough times before.

I just look back at my own life and some of the assinine choices I made, things that hurt me or people I love. Of course there were people trying to dissuade me. Did I listen? HELL NO!! I sincerely thought I was right. All their mamby pamby little "poor naive LeeAnn" talks did was piss me off. "How DARE they even begin to assume they know what is best for me!!" Regardless of how it was presented. And you know, of course some of them were right about some of the issues, but the reality is, I needed to go through that stuff. I needed to make the choices I did. It made me the person I am today and I like that person.

What I did listen to were those that said things like, " I am worried about you, are you okay?" or " I cannot agree with your choices but I love you, support you, and am here for you". It kept the lines of communication open. Those are the people that stayed in my life.

So, regardless of what someone else chooses for their life and wether or not I feel it is a correct choice...........most of it, I feel I need to keep my big yap shut.



It would be nice....Try this one on for size...Just remember, what source you choose to garnish your advice might ultimately hasten your demise...

Anywhoooo, does anyone recall the "Feelings of worthlessness" thread?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1260905/tm.htm



quote:

BitaTruble
Okay, so I'm not here to tell you that you have value. I'm not here to offer you pity or even compassion if you're in that bad place. I'm just here to say that I've been there myself and now I'm not. I'm just here to say, you're not the only one. When you're steeped in absolute darkness, you can't hear, can't see, can't even feel, maybe the knowledge that someone, once, was in that room, too, can help. Maybe just knowing that there is someone else out there who, if nothing else, sorta understands .. maybe that's just enough of a pin prick of light so that when you're ready to crawl out of the blackness, you'll have a direction to go.

You know, if you do all the shit I did and it comes from a healthy place, then this isn't directed at you. You already know your value.  It's for the other ones. The ones who've misplaced their own humanity. Okay?




I took some rather heavy exception to this thread ....simply because this "lifestyle" can be especially detrimental  upon those that are "damaged" or for some reason cannot or do not make wise decisions....There will always be people around to prey upon those that lack good judgement....As there will always be people who claim they have seen the light....When in fact they have actually just found some place that is a little less dark.



quote:

BitaTruble
I have this in my profile - "What limits cannot be surpassed with courage, tenacity and desire." What is too extreme? Who determines what is or is not acceptable for 'me' to do if not.. well, me? The answer to that question is Himself. None other. Not those who claim to speak for the billions of people on the planet when most of us know the mearest handful of souls. What's not done? What can anyone think of that someone, somewhere isn't doing? Every 30 seconds, 2 per minute, every hour of every die someone is out there committing suicide. Death is not a limit for them. People cut off their limbs for the thrill of it, for insurance claims etc. People are people and people are capable of doing anything that people can imagine doing and yet, suddenly, put on some leather chaps and 'everybody' has limits? That's just.. damn, I don't even know.. rather preposterous if you ask me.. and, you did ask. :)

Okay, so maybe I'm a french fry short of a Happy Meal, but to be consumed, bite by bite, and ingested .. to become a part of the inner workings of Michael, to have 'me' run through his veins, nourishing his body.. just thinking about it gets me hot. So there you go, death, amputation, cannabalism all rolled into one, hot, incredible last scene. What a way to go! Much better than being hit by a bus.

Celeste




I rest my case.




_____________________________



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 9:27:51 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Sometimes I will make a comment, not for the person involved directing in the discussion, but to give information to the lurkers who are reading and trying to weigh things in their own mind. I know that as a newbie when I started reading about WIIWD (at least 10-12 years ago) so much of what I read was very extreme. I was lucky enough to find people who were willing to help me learn that I needed to find who I was and what fit best with me rather than swallow the extremes I was reading about. It would have helped me stay out of a lot of trouble if I'd been able to read honest differences of opinion.

Just my thoughts..........

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 9:29:33 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips His lid to Domiguy:

Are you trying to right your cart Domi?

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 9:33:17 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, but my whole thing is..........where do we draw those fuzzy lines? Who do we pick as the Be-all End-all of decision makers?

I am QueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse and whatever I say is right is what we allow and whatever I say is wrong......NO ONE can do. ???

Don't we have laws already in place that those that practice BDSM and M/s, D/s type relationships already break? If so, which laws do we say, "well, sure, it's okay for other people to be held to those laws but ME, well WE are the exception to that law" and then we all start bellowing for our personal freedoms.

I am not advocating ANY specific activity, I am just questioning the possibility to fairly pass any judgements. And, as others have already said. What is wrong aka damaging to one person, obviously is just good clean (or not so clean) fun to someone else. Sooooo, we are back to square one. How can we possibly make a judgement call?

And, just as a parent watching a child suffer failures and lifes bumps and bruises, how can we always say that our interference is helping rather than hindering?

Again, I am not saying that I believe WHATEVER a person wants to do is okay with me and we should just sit back and watch. What I am saying is that how to determine the lines that can or cannot be crossed, is the problem.

THAT is where I get stumped.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 10:45:20 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

He dips His lid to Domiguy:

Are you trying to right your cart Domi?


maybe...But I took a lot of heat in the "Worthlessness" thread....I wasn't trying to be a total jack ass...maybe just a half....People were all chiming in and falling over the "painful" observations of Bita....Who claimed to have found a much better place had seen "the light" and kind of put the "I'm all better" stamp on herself.

I was just trying to put the thread in an honest light....Yes, bad things happen everywhere...Vanilla, right down the block and at church....But "this" is different....You really need your bearings and have a strong understanding of who you are and why you are here....Her post in the "limits" thread seems to slightly contradict the person that she her portrayed herself as being in the "worthlessness" thread. 





_____________________________



(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 11:15:24 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I took some rather heavy exception to this thread ....simply because this "lifestyle" can be especially detrimental  upon those that are "damaged" or for some reason cannot or do not make wise decisions....There will always be people around to prey upon those that lack good judgement....As there will always be people who claim they have seen the light....When in fact they have actually just found some place that is a little less dark.



What a great post.

edited because I am stupid and can't get the quotes right tonight

< Message edited by susie -- 9/21/2007 11:19:00 AM >

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 11:49:44 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I wasn't going to write this, but it's been on my mind so here goes.

And DG this isn't any "heat", it's just an observation I've come to see in the last week or so.  It's a comparative observation about a guy who appears to not be in any sort of long standing relationship at present, who goes from thread to thread on a BDSM message board displaying his talent in sarcasm - making people laugh by poking fun of and ridiculing others.  Now he's professing "craziness" toward a woman who has been in a loving, stable relationship for over 10 years, who came to discover herself by way of a rather rough road, and who is attempting to put positive messages of hope out there to others who may be stuck on their own rough roads. 

I mean, I can certainly see how the way Daddysprop was talked to yesterday was so much more helpful and constructve and beneficial, eh?  Hmm, "You can find your way to happiness, too" vs. "You are nuts and your Master is an asshole."  Yeah, I can see the effectiveness of the latter.

And I hope Bita forgives me for this, and I am certainly not coming to her defense here because she needs no defending, but I do want to say this - After spending so many hundreds of hours on the phone with her that my own mother is actually jealous of her, and after spending a significant amount of time with her in person - you know, hanging out with her, her kids, her grandkids, her Dad and her cousins, I can tell you that yep, she and her entire family are crazy!!  Then again, I've never met an Italian family who isn't...

Sorry Bita (heh), and DG, give it a rest already, eh?


(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! - 9/21/2007 12:04:17 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		We may voice or objection to those that choose the harmful choice, but realistically, there is very little we can do to stop them from carrying through with it.


_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Defend the Right! Attack the Wrong! Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.086