BeingChewsie
Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005 Status: offline
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Hi Owned, I understand what DG is saying. He isn't saying she is crazy. He is suggesting that being into BDSM when you have been traumatized and abused and saying but "I'm OK now" is much like a heroin addict going on methadone and saying but "I'm OK now"..or a former cocaine addict saying I used to be an addict but I'm OK now as they down a beer. Some people see those folks and see someone in recovery from what their addiction was..people like domiguy see it and say "Great recovery and good luck" with an eyeroll and rightly so. True light/true recovery would really involve leaving any form of being made powerless, being hurt, being humiliated and so on behind you.. changing forms is still the same...regardless if you think you are in a better place and if your partner isn't an abuser and nothing like your former abuser/abusers...you are still feeding a piece of your abused/traumtaized self that needs to be fed. I know I do and that is OK...but being here and saying but I'm OK now and doing the same things just in a safer or more controlled way is much like heroin addicts who go on methadone..they just changed the shade of the darkness to a "better" one but they are not in the light. That is all I believe he is saying. I may be wrong and way off base and I'm sure he will tell me if I have it wrong. quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I wasn't going to write this, but it's been on my mind so here goes. And DG this isn't any "heat", it's just an observation I've come to see in the last week or so. It's a comparative observation about a guy who appears to not be in any sort of long standing relationship at present, who goes from thread to thread on a BDSM message board displaying his talent in sarcasm - making people laugh by poking fun of and ridiculing others. Now he's professing "craziness" toward a woman who has been in a loving, stable relationship for over 10 years, who came to discover herself by way of a rather rough road, and who is attempting to put positive messages of hope out there to others who may be stuck on their own rough roads. I mean, I can certainly see how the way Daddysprop was talked to yesterday was so much more helpful and constructve and beneficial, eh? Hmm, "You can find your way to happiness, too" vs. "You are nuts and your Master is an asshole." Yeah, I can see the effectiveness of the latter. And I hope Bita forgives me for this, and I am certainly not coming to her defense here because she needs no defending, but I do want to say this - After spending so many hundreds of hours on the phone with her that my own mother is actually jealous of her, and after spending a significant amount of time with her in person - you know, hanging out with her, her kids, her grandkids, her Dad and her cousins, I can tell you that yep, she and her entire family are crazy!! Then again, I've never met an Italian family who isn't... Sorry Bita (heh), and DG, give it a rest already, eh?
< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 9/21/2007 12:51:48 PM >
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"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. " ~Ron and Hup
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