RE: Dominant women

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Alecto -> RE: Dominant women (10/7/2007 9:07:26 PM)
"...the difference between maledoms and femdoms [is] sexual power." I agree with you; as a femme domme, even though I'm strong and in good shape, there's no way I could physically dominate most men (at least, not the ones I'd want to, anyway). My "power" or advantage is sexual, sometimes intellectual, (perhaps emotional, but I'm not a fan of emotional dominance). Most femme dommes wouldn't admit it, but the truth is that their ability to dominate men is entirely dependent on the man's desire to be dominated and not on any real physical power. I'm not saying women are any less dominant, but I have no patience for femme dommes with big heads who take their "control" of their partners too seriously (and literally).

Alecto -> RE: Dominant women (10/7/2007 9:09:31 PM)
Sorry, my previous post was intended to be a reply to cloudboy.

Najakcharmer -> RE: Dominant women (10/7/2007 9:33:39 PM)
On the sexual power thing, not so much. That would definitely not be my personal dominance style. It's not universal for femdoms by any means, any more than all male doms have the same style. My take on dominance is from an animal trainer's perspective. Even if you're the biggest, strongest man in the world, you will never be able to physically dominate a bear, a big cat, an elephant, a saltwater crocodile, a killer whale or even a horse. Yet zookeepers and animal trainers work with these animals and control them very effectively every day using behavioral management. Well trained big cats (and other socially oriented zoo critters) respond to their comparatively weak human trainers in a submissive manner, deferring to them as the alpha. When you're inside with the animals, a failure to present successfully as a totally confident dominant alpha can result in serious injury or death. That is some serious incentive to be an effective dominant. Sex appeal is not effective. Dominance is. The current crop of zookeepers, zoo veterinarians and animal trainers is very largely female. I wouldn't say it's a female dominated field, not yet, but it's definitely been starting to lean in that direction in the last decade. Since physical strength is out of the equation when you're dealing with animals that can overpower any human being alive, it leaves a level playing field - or better, as women do tend to have the advantage when it comes to reading body language, being empathic and observing subtle behavioral interactions. It's a myth that "real dominance" can only be established if you are physically bigger and stronger than the one you are dominating. Sexual power is one possible tool in the repertoire of a dominant, male or female. It is far from the only tool, and some people rarely or never use it because it just isn't their style.

SusanofO -> RE: Dominant women (10/7/2007 10:38:58 PM)
Maybe I'm weird, but I can feel able to be Dominated by a man, (haven't tried it with a woman, don't know if it would work, but I am thinking I am 90% straight, but who knows, really? I have imagined being submissive to a female- and when I've fantasized about it, it was submissiveness I imagined feeling, so maybe, despite being mainly hetero, it would work well, I dunno really). BUT the thing is, I really have to like them a lot first as a person (M/F, or whomever) they have to really make me feel really secure, somehow (maybe that isn't so weird)... Fortunately, most of the time, I seem to look for reasons to like people - I like to think have decent judgment, but try not to be judgmental (and I see a difference between these two things; being judgmental and using good judgment). Maybe I am kind of like Lahsra, in some ways - I like to run my own show (especially in a work situation) - but I try to be respectful of other people generally. Not appreciating other people telling me what to do is probably pretty situation specific for me though (but in only one other work situation have I never been accountable to at least one other person - my current situation is only the second time in life I've "been my own boss". I have to say though - I do like it. I am not fond of following mindless orders, and like LOTs of elbow room, if I am given a "project". I will almost always come through with flying colors, in terms of delivering what someone claims to want (or really put in tons of effort trying) - but I tend to want to "get there" doing it my way. Re: Work situations - I will however, politely listen and nod my head, and try to learn new things along the way. I know I don't know everything. I also know I am not stupid - and I guess I've just reached a point in life I don't see much reason to pretend to be anymore, to salve others' egos (unless it is necessary for me some-how, which it may be sometimes). I am not sure what this makes me, really, and am not sure it is BDSM label related. I just got done reading an article in "O" magazine (Winfrey's magazine)by a star journalist and business person that said it is a complete waste of time to carry a grudge at work (and probably most other places as well). It was a wonderful article and made perfect sense to me. What a waste of time for me to spend hours, days, or weeks feeling resentful some other person isn't what I think they should be - I'd much rather spend time just going around them - it just takes too much precious time (for me) to confront them, unless it is truly necessary (in which case, I have no problem with it. At all). I really view arguing and contention as generally a waste of time - there are exceptions, of course - but my solution to people whom I find assinine is mostly to ignore them, pretend they aren't there - and just move on - around them, or whatever. It is amazing the people who have commented this doesn't/can't work - while I am busy actually doing it - and it works (for me anyway). I f there are people I have to deal with I just plain don't like - I try to find something about them I can like enough to just get through the situation resltively un-scathed (or "fake it" until it is over, and I've accomplished what I need to get done). I am referring mostly to work sitautions here, in case anyone is wondering. Sometimes, this isn't possible, which is when I will try to tell someone I may view as contentious but need to co-operate with for some reason - jokes, or otherwise try to be be charming and flexible - as an alternative way to deal . Once in awhile, I "speak up" and blow a gasket completely - and most of the time when that happens (and it has - it's rare - but if it does, it's not a pretty sight), I've viewed it as very justified. I am not sure this makes me "submissive" or "Dominant" or what - I view it as just being me, and human. I never saw this as BDSM label-specific behavior - but maybe to some people it is. I never saw it a "bitchy" because it was never overtly aggressive for an overt purpose of harming anyone and for no other reason. If what I described above can be viewed as "Dominant", then maybe I am it - but I still ID as a Switch, because I feel submissive to (some) Dominant males. In those situations, I do care about pleasing them, and I really, really care if I do it. With some men, though (and in my head with a so-far nameless, imaginary female -that might never ever become a reality, w/a female and me dominating them, I mean, but who knows) I can really want to Dominate them - and have a few times (men only in RL.) What can I say? We Switches - we can sometimes confuse just about everyone, hehe. [:D] Bottom-line: I guess I'd say I've seen what I view as "bitchy" and non-bitchy subs and Doms - I've always thought "bitchy" Dommes were maybe normally that way - but I don't generally view that as persoanlly threatening - there has (in my admittedly limited experience) been only one Domme-like person I've viewed that way I've ever had a bad experience with. I have seen equally "bad" behavior coming from submissives, in terms of "bitchiness" - I don't look for it, and if I do see it, I tend to blow it off, if possible - but this kind of behavior is not (to me) "role related" as much as some like to stereo-type it as being, IMO. Doing that (stereo-typing) leaves little room (to me) to see whomever more as a person first, and their role second - which is crucial for me to be able to do - if I am to allow myself to even get close to being able to be Dominated by someone - I've got to be able to know them as a person first. Because If I don't like them- I just don't even want to "go there'" - no matter what kind of BDSM "vibe" they may exuding in terms of Dominance (or submissiveness). I am not sure if this is usual, unusual, or what - but it's just the way I get turned on to someone, personally. -Susan

KnightofMists -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 7:56:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Maybe your posts should be preceded with a warning or something. "Please empty bladder before reading!" well that is not fun for me..... But maybe if I handed out Diapers for people to put on before reading... would that work?

thetammyjo -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 8:04:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer It's a myth that "real dominance" can only be established if you are physically bigger and stronger than the one you are dominating. Sexual power is one possible tool in the repertoire of a dominant, male or female. It is far from the only tool, and some people rarely or never use it because it just isn't their style. I agree. There is a big difference between dominance and being domineering or controlling or abusing. Sure physical strength can help you do non-consensual things but how is that the same as consensual things or having authority? If it is about physical strength then it is not a simple matter of men over women either, but of a small minority of mostly men over everyone else. And if it is just about physical strength why are humans seemingly the dominant species on the planet at this time?

KnightofMists -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 8:17:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecto Most femme dommes wouldn't admit it, but the truth is that their ability to dominate men is entirely dependent on the man's desire to be dominated and not on any real physical power. I don't know if femme Dommes wouldn't admit it or not...... BUT I agree that their ability to dominate men is entirely dependent on the man's desire to be dominated... and you know what The ability to dominate women is entirely dependent on the woman's desire to be dominanted as well. Of course these statements apply only to Consensual Interaction between two or more people. If one is talking about NON-consent.... well the desire of the one to be dominated is much less of an issue. The Dominant in the situation just needs a bigger gun than the one to be dominated. The sex of the person doesn't have much to do with the power of a bullet.

Gwynvyd -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 8:47:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Alecto Most femme dommes wouldn't admit it, but the truth is that their ability to dominate men is entirely dependent on the man's desire to be dominated and not on any real physical power. I don't know if femme Dommes wouldn't admit it or not...... BUT I agree that their ability to dominate men is entirely dependent on the man's desire to be dominated... and you know what The ability to dominate women is entirely dependent on the woman's desire to be dominanted as well. Of course these statements apply only to Consensual Interaction between two or more people. If one is talking about NON-consent.... well the desire of the one to be dominated is much less of an issue. The Dominant in the situation just needs a bigger gun than the one to be dominated. The sex of the person doesn't have much to do with the power of a bullet. KnightofMists is exactly correct ( as usual ) smiles It is about consentual or non-consentual. True most women do not have the physical power or prowess to force thier submissive mates into submission. But..... there are exceptions to every rule. Big Grin Some know hand to hand combat skills, took kick boxing, go to the gym 4 hours a day.. and can cuff a 350lb 6'7 perp with out blinking an eye. It is not always the size of the dog in the fight or what is in the persons pants that makes them strong. Back to submission. It is a gift. Not something to be taken by force. You do not simply wrench a gift out of someones hands.. grimacing at them, unthankful.. and not giving a damn at how precious of a gift they are giving you. < in my opinion any way > My subs esp the males do find a special "spice" in the thought that yes.. I can hold them down and "force them" to submit to me. My new slave just commented on that the other day ~ how exilerating it is.. thinking that he wouldnt possibly be able to stop me if it came to it. But they all know that I respect them, and cherish the gifts they give me with thier submission to me. He mentioned after that his complete trust that I would never take anything he would not willingly offer. As a Dom/me you have to not only build, but keep that trust with those who you are bound to protect and teach < your submissives > taking by non consentual force doesnt fall in with that. Gwyn

Gwynvyd -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 9:54:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I don't like Red heads... doesn't infer anything except I don't like redheads. For example... one can't infer that I like brunettes or blonds. In fact.. I just don't like Redheads.. and that is all i am speaking about. Ok.. I will fall in line with the other red heads here... gasps in horror! I do have to admit a good lot of redheads are a bit moody... and down right hellcats.. chuckles I think it is the hellcat part that I love so much about them. Moody not so much. For the record I do not like blonde hair on women... but Dark, or Red is wonderful. And Blonde males have to hear blonde jokes on a normal basis. We all have our preferances... As you said I see people, just as people.. not Dom/me or sub... unless they walk in with a whip, or on a leash I dont think it rightly matters. Those in my life know my place, and know thiers. That is all that _realy_ matters. Gwyn, Known by her loves as the Red Headed Amazon Goddess

Grlwithboy -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 10:22:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I just know that there will be some who are going to take this post the wrong way as if it were some sort of personal slam....and it's not, so I just want to say that up front. Well, I'm glad that I said this right up front, although a good many seem to have taken it as a personal affront anyway. Wow. For all of those who "wondered" how such a conversation could come up....no, I don't go walking up to strange dominant women and tell them that I think they're full of shit. I "wonder" why anyone would even think that kind of scenario a possibility. These are conversations that have taken place with A) dominant women I know very well and have great respect for(which generally go quite well and are understood) B) dominant women who approach me for play or in hopes of having a relationship at munches, events, parties or even here on Collarme.....and my opinion comes up after tactfully refusing their advances in as many ways as I have possibly been able to come up with. They are the ones who want to know "but WHY" and persist until I tell them. They give me a 1,000 reasons why they see themselves as dominant...."but"...."but"...."but".... I generally hear reasons such as "I am very much in control of my life". My answer...ok, so am I and I'm submissive. "I have always been a leader". My answer, Ok....so have I and I'm submissive". "I am the breadwinner in my household and make a good income....I'm a business owner....manager, etc." My answer, ok, so am I and I'm submissive". "People just naturally follow my lead". My answer, Ok, people naturally follow my lead and I'm submissive. "I don't NEED a man, I'm perfectly capable of handling all aspects of my life without one". My answer, Ok, I don't NEED one either and I'm submissive". "I" am a very strong, confident person with a very strong personality. I can take care of myself, manage my life, maintain my car, mow my own lawn, take out my own trash, split my own wood, hunt and process my own food. When things go wrong I figure out how to make them right, I don't need a savior to rush in and help me out. But....I don't see ANY of these things as being dominant or submissive....I just see these things as being a capable human being. However, these are the types of things that I have had dominant women state as evidence of their dominance. I'm sorry, I just don't see it that way. If I did I would likely have myself convinced that I, too, am a dominant woman.....but I'm not. The characteristics they describe are the type of characteristics that would likely make them a greatly compatible friend for me. I admire strong people very much. But when they continue to push and wave their "dominance" at me like it's a weapon....that doesn't do anything for me but push me further away from them. It is almost like some view me as some sort of challenge....and yes, I've had some men do it too. Kind of like when a guy walks into a bar and picks a fight with the biggest guy in there....because he's got something to prove. Then of course, when the outcome is not what they set out after, the ultimate response is usually..."well, I don't think you're REALLY submissive". Someone also asked if I see all men as dominant. No, absolutely not....not even a whole bunch of them who define themselves that way. That's funny. Because my evidence of my dominance is something like "the control really makes me wet." You probably have your shit more together than I do, but I really don't think that makes someone a D. I also would stop hitting on you at that point, but I've noticed that a lot of women (and men for that matter) with the "I don't acknowledge women as Dominant" wiring decide that my being nice and mellow signifies at this point, I can't possibly be. Whatever.

Celeste43 -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 11:21:25 AM)
quote: I've known quite a few dominant women. They were usually just considered bitches...but yeah. Very confident, always spoke up, demanded their ideas be at least considered if not implemented, and usually very feminist. xoxi I'm confidant because I don't speak about things I don't have a fair bit of info about. I see no reason not to speak up and share rather than watch others fail for lack of the knowledge I have. I need my opinions heard because I won't be in a relationship with someone who devalues me. And yes I'm a feminist. I detest the idea that my daughter be forced to accept sexual abuse to hold a job, that someone else less qualified is ranked above her because he has dangly bits and she doesn't. And I'm submissive and not bitchy except to those who will not respect that my human rights are equal to theirs. As far as mistorerin's statement that she finally blurts out the fact that she doesn't see other women as dominant when they've refused to accept no as an answer. I imagine stating it like this offends them enough that they do finally stomp off. But I would like to offer a way to avoid the arguments. Look them in the eye, smile and say "No thank you". and then walk away. If they come after you whining, they are already acting badly and you then should ask them "what part of no don't you understand". As far as the why not, the answer to that is to smile, still looking them in the eye and say "I will forgive you asking that if you forgive me not answering". They have the right to a yes or no. They don't have a right to try to talk you out of it. However the fact that they keep pushing shows they have some natural dominance whereas a more submissive person would accept the no. Rude dominance, but dominance none the less. You won't get them trying to talk you out of it if you don't give them lame reasons to begin with. Just no thank you is sufficient and prevents any tiresome routine such as you've been getting.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 12:19:25 PM)
quote: whereas a more submissive person would accept the no. Is that a submissive trait to cut your losses and assume someone else might be interested in you rather than waste your time trying to prove no, really, I'm the shit?

DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 1:53:51 PM)
I'm LATE and I know I'll have more to add. But I disagree, I am the son of a Dominant woman. I also embraced BDSM through the eyes and teachings of Dominant women first before learning from Dominant men. I also see many Dominant women in history especially in Europe. If any of these things were mentioned prior I apologize in advance. Z-

DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 2:07:28 PM)
~fr 2~ So I quickly went through some of this forum and noticed it got heated.....that happens we are all different. What troubles me is that some feel that they're opinion is more valid than others, that some interpretations of the OPs post are the right ones. Based on what I read she feels that women really aren't Dominant or she doesn't see women as dominant and that's okay. Many do and many don't. She also went on to mention how Dominant women try to prove her wrong. That doesn't surprise me. I know many men who go out of their way to try to seduce a woman who identifies as gay because they really can't understand how a woman can be gay. I'm not a Dominant woman so I couldn't even answer this question but I do feel I can comment on where this post ended up going. Have a great start to the week! Z-

LadyHugs -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 2:20:45 PM)
Dear Alecto, Ladies and Gentlemen, In the 1970's when women were trying to get into an all male dominated work force, the biggest club used was that a woman could never out power a man, e.g. fight-force, etc. With women working in male dominated jobs during World War II, heavy lifting and hot, sweaty and dirty business in cleaning, repairing and assembling everything from steam railroad engines, aeroplanes/airplanes, being firefighters and police officers-- women have proven in so many ways--if women have the 'will' to do, it can be done. I am one of those women who has served in uniform and had to fight the same stereotypes that women couldn't wrestle with men, go through bootcamp, handle a rifle, hike with a 50 lb. back pack. I am one of those women who heard how much I couldn't--from mother to other women and many men. My father, a World War II veteran himself was my only supporter and once in and did my best--women had to be judged on their individual talents and merits. There were standards to be met period. Intent is not the only thing a person must have. In any military and or semi-military and or para-military group; everybody has to count on everybody. I understood standards and though I passed--I knew how important they were. What bothers me most--is that I am being generalized as a woman and dismissed for the talents I had where it was more common to be sabatoged in my efforts to just be a member in uniform. People made it harder on women--we didn't complain we just tried harder. Life wasn't fair then--especially to women, just as it wasn't very fair to the Afro-Americans and or the Asian-Americans. Now, I could go on and on and write a book but, in summary--I have proven to a few anti-female, potty mouth male who was twice as big and strong that I could hold my own. I did and got that man's and other's apology in front of several. I cannot speak for other women who have served in the military, para-military and or semi-military organization. Just speaking for myself when women were struggling against so much bias, prejudices and hate towards women. To see men buddy up regardless of ethnicity against women--even if all women failed we did get men together and not divided by ethnicity. Women are all over and in so many ways in the male dominated work place exist. We're here--they are thriving and more accepted then when I went through. I wore my uniform with honor and did not spread my legs to get where I got. I did hard training like everybody else. To say I am not being truthful or admit my weakness that I am unable to physically dominate and or physically over power a man is an insult to women who are veterans of the military, semi-military and or para-military organizations who got to their rank and their services the hard earned and honorable way. People don't realize or easy forget that women have died in this current war--they are in the military. They got there from not being powder puff sissy females. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

Grlwithboy -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 3:14:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ ~fr 2~ So I quickly went through some of this forum and noticed it got heated.....that happens we are all different. What troubles me is that some feel that they're opinion is more valid than others, that some interpretations of the OPs post are the right ones. Based on what I read she feels that women really aren't Dominant or she doesn't see women as dominant and that's okay. Many do and many don't. She also went on to mention how Dominant women try to prove her wrong. That doesn't surprise me. I know many men who go out of their way to try to seduce a woman who identifies as gay because they really can't understand how a woman can be gay. I'm not a Dominant woman so I couldn't even answer this question but I do feel I can comment on where this post ended up going. Have a great start to the week! Z- "I'm not into you" is one thing. "I'm not into you, ergo, you don't really exist" gets kind of tiresome. I personally don't acknowledge men as my Dominant, but it doesn't mean they aren't and I'm not running around claiming that I've never met one who was Dominant, merely a lot who are - even if my personal response is "that's nice."

DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 3:39:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy quote: ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ ~fr 2~ So I quickly went through some of this forum and noticed it got heated.....that happens we are all different. What troubles me is that some feel that they're opinion is more valid than others, that some interpretations of the OPs post are the right ones. Based on what I read she feels that women really aren't Dominant or she doesn't see women as dominant and that's okay. Many do and many don't. She also went on to mention how Dominant women try to prove her wrong. That doesn't surprise me. I know many men who go out of their way to try to seduce a woman who identifies as gay because they really can't understand how a woman can be gay. I'm not a Dominant woman so I couldn't even answer this question but I do feel I can comment on where this post ended up going. Have a great start to the week! Z- "I'm not into you" is one thing. "I'm not into you, ergo, you don't really exist" gets kind of tiresome. I personally don't acknowledge men as my Dominant, but it doesn't mean they aren't and I'm not running around claiming that I've never met one who was Dominant, merely a lot who are - even if my personal response is "that's nice." It would have been easy for me personally to get into a lot of the comments from this thread because I disagree what her opinion is (and said so). But I did that without reading what her question was. Then I started to read the comments. But what I noticed was the OP asked about Dominant women trying to change her mind. That doesn't surprise me. But her belief that women aren't dominant is one I don't agree with. And you are right, the OP could have said it a lot better. I like intense play but I know others don't that doesn't make them less into BDSM than I am, it's just a preference and I am guessing that the OP isn't interested in dominant women. I may have read it wrong but I didn't like reading that women really aren't dominant, I've got enough experience when I bottomed and now when I don't to know better [:D] Have a great day :) Z-

ocilla -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 4:17:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xoxi quote: ORIGINAL: ocilla xxi - I was blown away with vitriol in that short statement. And I was disappointed. I am a dominant woman who has enjoyed and even seeks out your posts. I have always appreciated your views and preferences and have sought to learn from your experience and wisdom. That you would cast such close minded judgment on how others choose to live, resort to name calling and lump all dominant women into one pile is an unpleasant surprise to me. I would have never thought you'd be that way. You've opened my eyes, and I now do indeed feel on guard and defensive. As to the feminist remark...once again wow, usually you are smarter than that.... Wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism Feminism comprises a number of social, cultural and political movements, theories and moral philosophies concerned with gender inequalities and discrimination against women. Feminism is also described as an ideology focusing on equality of the sexes.[1] Feminist political activists have been concerned with issues such as a woman's right of contract and property, a woman's right to bodily integrity and autonomy (especially on matters such as reproductive rights, including the right to contraception and quality prenatal care); for protection from domestic violence; against sexual harassment and rape;[8] for workplace rights, including maternity leave and equal pay; and against other forms of discrimination Feminism is not about dominance its about equal rights. You know....you're completely right. Especially the way I worded that made it sound even more awful. I probably should have expanded that they were two separate ideas. The first is that dominant women are usually seen as bitches...that I definitely should have emphasized the 'seen' part. I think there's a bit of a double standard that what is seen as 'ambitious' in a man is 'aggressive' in a woman. Women are raised to be co-operators, fitting in as part of a team, and good at sharing while men are generally more rewarded for ambition, success, and distinguishing themselves. So that's where I was going with that...as far as the second part you're right...it was totally off base. I was describing my mother with that post who was like the uber dominant "I'm always right" type person...it drove me crazy! But thinking about it I realize that there are plenty of women who are dominant in their daily lives, not just in the bedroom - in fact you never know what they could be like in the bedroom. But people like Oprah, Martha Stewart, even (ugh) Hillary Clinton are all the ambitious type who have succeeded at distinguishing themselves. And even so - look how they are perceived. Hillary is a 'ball busting bitch more or less', while our current president is a 'take charge leader' - yet they are both simply presenting their ideas and defending them. If anything our current president is MORE hardheaded than Hillary but he is considered a "man's man" while she is considered a bitch. But female dominance comes across in many ways, not just in the board room. If you don't believe me put two soccer moms in a room together after their sons got in a fight and its unknown who 'started' it...female dominance in all its primal glory! As far as the feminist thing, you're right...I meant to say 'radical feminism' and that was my own mistake. I was thinking more along the lines of S.C.U.M., Valerie Sloan's, and the ever popular Andrea Dworkin [:'(] when I was criticizing it...but even so I stand by the statement that many dominant women are feminists simply because many of them have the extroverted, take charge, leadership traits that would motivate them to get involved in women's rights rather than shrug and say it's sooo 70's. PS you just made me blush when you said you like my posts. I like your posts too [:)] Okay, now I too am blushing. Jeez I let myself get my feathers all ruffled up... I understand exactly what you are explaining. My mom too is uber dominant but has, thank the lords worked, hard to up her compassion quotient and lower her "I am always right tendencies". Now she a kind of a daft old lady so really easy to out manuver if she gets in a mood he he. Yeah... I totally agree that you are safe in saying Domme's tend to be feminists according to the technical definition. I think that is part of why I knee jerked...the term feminist has gotten so skewed over time when it is really not that extreme in my opinion anyhow. So, you are still the bomb smiles. So impressed with your strength and intellect to just calmly expand your meaning and even go so far as to say that I am right....by the way...I don't feel the need but it is quite nice when someone says it...lol. Take care.

mistoferin -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 4:58:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 As far as mistorerin's statement that she finally blurts out the fact that she doesn't see other women as dominant when they've refused to accept no as an answer. I imagine stating it like this offends them enough that they do finally stomp off. But I would like to offer a way to avoid the arguments. Look them in the eye, smile and say "No thank you". and then walk away. If they come after you whining, they are already acting badly and you then should ask them "what part of no don't you understand". Blurts out? It really doesn't occur quite like that, not sure how you came to that conclusion. As for a polite "No thank you", yes, that is generally the response. "What part of no don't you understand?" has come up too....usually when I've exhausted being polite.

mistoferin -> RE: Dominant women (10/8/2007 5:00:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ But her belief that women aren't dominant is one I don't agree with. Again, to clarify, that is NOT my belief.

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